IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND'S FATHER

It was easier when I was able to watch him from afar. He had too many of the qualities I found irresistible. His height managed to make me feel small and feminine in comparison. That was no easy feat since I was a little over five-foot-nine. Arnold's hair always looked like someone just ran their hands through it. The few strands of silver made his face appear younger somehow, since he seemed not to have aged much beyond his mid-twenties. His mouth was full, with his bottom lip having a bit of a dip in the middle. I didn't know how many times I'd fantasized about licking it. That sinful mouth curved up at the corner, and I knew I'd been caught checking him out. "See something you like?" I tried to feign indifference. The truth was it had been a while since my last date, and even longer since my last relationship. When I was alone with Arnold, which I tried to prevent most of the time, I resorted to teasing to keep him at arm’s length. There were many ways to keep people at a distance. The only person I'd allowed into my bubble was Emily, and that had a lot to do with the fact she needed me. It wasn't that I didn't need the emotional bond, because I did badly, but as long as she needed me she wasn't likely to push me away. Since she found Bryan, I was spinning off-kilter. Still, I did trust her, but being a third wheel wasn't enough for me. Arnold lured me close with his golden green gaze. I wasn't a sixteen-year-old girl anymore, and I knew how much his kind of love hurt, the unrequited kind. So he was allowed into my fantasies, but never my heart. If I ever changed my mind and took that leap again, I wouldn't be the first one to fall in love. I shoved his shoulder and rolled my eyes. "You're the one holding my hand. Are you going to go for the yawn next to put your arm around me?" He let go of my hand, and for a second I was mad at myself and my stupid mouth for losing that one small point of contact. I had to remind myself he wasn't the type of man I allowed myself to date. There were very strict rules I lived my life by. I did not have s*x with a man I hadn't been dating a few weeks. We had to have similar goals and have potential for a long-term relationship. I didn't date men I couldn't walk away from, but I tried to find men I wanted to stay with. Even though I thought love wasn't in the cards for me, it didn't mean I was opposed to companionship. The result was I'd had three boyfriends since my disastrous relationship with Mervin. The first relationship was toward the end of high school. We got along well enough, but I didn't care enough about him to try and make a long-distance relationship work when we got accepted to different colleges. I had another relationship when I started college, and it lasted through most of the time I was at Stanford. But, around senior year, when everyone was figuring out their next step, I realized he wasn't mine. My last relationship was shortly after returning to Seattle. I thought I was being more daring. He wasn't like the other two, who were both very serious and frankly boring. I thought guy number three was an artist and a businessman, but it turned out he just really liked smoking weed. Once he found some investors, he opened a pot dispensary. His artist persona disappeared, along with the remaining shred of my interest in him. That was three years ago. I'd gone on countless dates in that time, but most of those never even made it through the entire evening, let alone to a second date. I tried to tell myself it was only a coincidence that Mervin returned at the same time, but I was a horrible liar, even to myself. My door opened, and I nearly jumped out of my seat. I hadn't noticed Arnold open his door or move around the car to stand near mine. "I keep losing you inside that head of yours. Let's get you inside and you can tell me what's going on, but after we find something dry for you to wear." He took my hand again and helped me out of the car. I nearly sighed with the return of the contact. Three years was too long. I might have to consider bending my rules a bit, or I was liable to do something bad like attack my best friend's hot father. He smirked at me. "Tell me about these rules." I felt my blue eyes widen, and I probably looked like a startled fairy with my overly large eyes and one-with-the-elements hairstyle going on. "How much of that did I say out loud?" "Enough. So I only know of one friend of yours." He raised both eyebrows, and I knew he wasn't going to let it go. "I'm obviously delirious. I've been sitting outside in the rain wondering where I was going to sleep then I was confronted by my ex-boyfriend without the ability to slam a door in his face like I've always fantasized about." The teasing curve to his mouth sank, and the crease between his eyes appeared. So, he had one wrinkle. More like a WTF line, but it was there. He didn't speak as he led me over to the bank of elevators. He also lived in a penthouse apartment, but it was much more understated than Bryan's lush pad. It was decorated with warm brown leather furniture and had soothing green walls. He had plants everywhere, and I couldn't stop staring. "Who are you?" I asked. Apparently my hold on my tongue had washed away with the rain. He pushed a stringy, tangled strand of hair from my face. "That's something I've been asking myself a lot lately." Istumbled out into the open concept living room and kitchen area of Arnold's spacious apartment. I expected him to interrogate me last night about my apartment and Mervin, but he gave me the space I badly needed. This morning was going to be a different story. He sat at the counter of the kitchen, pretending to read the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. There was another cup waiting near the machine, and my favorite creamer sitting waiting for me. "Sleep well?" he asked. "Much better than I would have on a bench in the rain," I replied as I finished making my coffee. Arnold set down the paper and focused the full force of his attention on me. I rolled my shoulders back and straightened my spine until I was at my full height. He patted the chair next to him. "Come and join me." I couldn't let down my guard. Being defensive was instinctual for me. Instead of complying with his perfectly normal request, I raised my chin and remained standing in the middle of the kitchen. He exhaled and rose from his seat. Every step he took toward me, I took one back until I'd managed to trap myself between the corner of the kitchen counter and Arnold's very large and very hard body. Without saying a word, he took the mug from my hand and set it on the countertop.