Pregnant with the Bad Boy

34

I had been awake most of the night, not only because Grant had awakened my desire again, he had made me feel something I wasn't prepared for, it was faint, wavering but it was there, and it made me smile.

I sat eating breakfast under my mother's curious gaze as I'm sure she'd heard when I got home but no one had dared ask me anything as I looked irritated with a mouthful of toast and marmalade, I loved it now.

“So… how did it go? Did you have a good time?” She squinted her eyes at me, I bet they'd all been spying and just waiting to pump me for info on him.

“It was nice...” I smiled unconsciously and my mother immediately looked more ridiculous as she nodded at what I said and looked pleased; I rolled my eyes at her.

“Did you see those set of wheels?” He must be filthy rich! Mandy's voice was heard behind me, and I sighed, then the official hearing was on.

“didn't you see he was a salesman? If you make that much money, I'll skip college and get to work right away!” Mom looked angrily at Mandy's plans, and I laughed and shrugged as if I knew nothing more than that it was true.

“His family is rich apparently.” I ate more of the sandwich and drank my second glass of milk since sitting down.

Mandy looked jealous and sat down next to me as she snatched the last piece of toast and I looked at her in annoyance, how dare she take the last one?

“Why can't I just meet some rich man who wants to take care of me?” she looked dreamily up at the ceiling as I sighed again and finished my milk.

“What good plan Mandy, aim for it.” I said the sentence dryly at her stupid look then and sighed and looked at me sourly again.

“One can dream, can't you?” She angrily took a bite of the sandwich as my mother leaned towards me, clearly not finished with her questions.

“So, what did you do? Where were you? Was he a gentleman?” I laughed at her last question; did they even exist anymore?

“I don't know where we were, but I think it was in Little Rock and we had dinner at some French restaurant on a terrace.” I shrugged, I didn't want to be as serious about the whole thing as my family wanted to paint it, we had only seen each other once but what he had said to me before he left had echoed in my head all night and made me feel like a powder keg with butterflies in it.

“And then?” Mandy looked at me thoughtfully as I crossed my arms and leaned back, this was the bit they were waiting for apparently.

“we kissed, once.” I smiled now and they both squealed loudly like schoolgirls in the kitchen so that Clark would come running in in case someone had died.

“what happend?!” He barely had his glasses on when his mother grabbed him and kissed him hard on the cheek before exclaiming happily.

“Jennifer's date kissed her!” She was clapping her hands now and I smiled guilty at Clark who didn't know what to say about it all, he was very vain for a pastor, but it suited me perfectly.

“that great...” he was looking at mum as I was laughing now, it actually felt good, I had only been thinking about him and not Dylan in the night that was.

“it's amazing Clark! Look at her! She's laughing again!” Mom ran around and hugged me, I let her as I looked at him understandingly as the other two women in the house were completely mad.

“so I'll see you again soon?” she winked stupidly at me as I sighed again, I didn't even know what had happened, he certainly seemed like he wanted to keep seeing me.

“I don't know mom... and I don't want to annoy him...” I smiled shyly now as Mandy nodded in agreement to my answer.

“Yeah, let him sweat it out a bit, that's the best strategy you can have.” She rubbed her hands, and I gave up and was about to go back to the room when there was a knock on the door, I panicked, it wasn't Grant who came in this morning looking awful, was it? I was just about to run up and hide when Mum opened the door and she gasped as I turned around scared to see him here at the house as there was a flower delivery, and what flowers they were too, there were at least a hundred in the bouquet she received, and the guy smiled faintly and walked away after getting his arms of the monster that my mom was carrying now.

“Jennifer!" she yelled as she read the card while carrying the flowers until Clark helped her into the kitchen with the massive bouquet.

“They are for you.” She looked completely entranced by the red roses that filled our kitchen with the sweet smell of greenery as I came down the stairs.

I looked at them in amazement as I took the card from her, it was in black and white.

Challenge accepted.

I laughed out loud at his card, he was completely insane. I looked at the card again and laughed as they all stared at me, and I looked up at their interacting faces.

What? I looked down at the card again and my mother put her hand on my shoulder and smiled touchingly.

“that's the first time I've heard you laugh genuinely since it all happened.” She fell silent and Mandy nodded in agreement to what Mum was saying, I looked at it confused, had I really been so sad that even my laughter wasn't real?

I didn't answer them but just stood there blinking stupidly at the card, I want to answer as quickly as possible, but I didn't want to seem clingy either.

“Okay if you guys get together, I get to borrow his car, right?” I chuckled at Mandy's comment, get together, oh my god a word he was rich, and they wanted to marry me off as a spinster the first chance they could.

“In your dreams sis.” I growled the words at her as she laughed and took another bite, damn kid.

“I'm just so happy for you, for a while there after Dylan I thought that...” she stopped herself saying something forbidden, and to be honest, his name was still hard to hear but not crushing like it was before.

“It's okay mom, you can say his name. Dylan.” I said it tentatively, it didn't feel so awful anymore considering a few weeks ago I didn't even want to think it.

She quickly cleared her throat and started again at my bored look.

“As I said, after Dylan, I never thought I'd see you happy again, it just feels good to know you've moved on.” She smiled happily and I just replied with a weak smile, I hadn't moved on at all, I still loved him with all my heart, it just hurt less to think about him now.

“Thanks, Mom.” I looked down at the card again and smiled, I wanted to see Grant again as soon as I could, he made me feel happy again and he had awakened something in me that I wanted to find out what it was.

“He's not still here in Perryville Jen, so you don't have to hide...” Mandy's voice was sad, I don't know if it was for me or for him she was sad.

I knew he had probably contacted her as he was desperate that bastard. I put the card down and felt the anger rising, he had left, it was always him who said I gave up so easily on us but it was him who had cheated and now ran out of town the coward.

“Who says I'm hiding!?” I looked darkly at my sister who realised what she had said as I turned and stormed up to my room like an angry teenager, I didn't want to see any of them, they thought that everything had been resolved with me meeting Grant, it hadn't! I locked the door and lay under the duvet, I picked up the phone and wished so that I hadn't deleted what he had written, just one word from him right now would have given me comfort as I turned my head into the duvet and cried hard into the freshly washed pillow. I was about to write to him when I stopped myself, what good would that do? Would I forgive everything just because I missed him? I cried louder, why was life so damn unfair!?

The mobile vibrated and I looked at it in horror, was it Dylan who had magically heard my prayer and written? I looked at the phone, it was Grant. I wanted to be happy but instead I put it down, damn Mandy she had to open her mouth, I didn't want him to be gone, I wanted him to be here so I still had the chance to maybe forgive him one day if it was possible, but he'd gone and left me here to rot the cheating bastard that he was, for all I knew he might as well have married Lorraine by now and they were on their honeymoon, the thought made me sick and I gritted my teeth hard.

Fuck. I ran to the toilet and threw up the toast I had been eating, now my mum would be on me again, she probably thought I threw up on purpose but the anger in me over Dylan's disappearance made me want to scream and my body reacted to it.

I flushed and washed my face quickly, I was tired of this, couldn't I just be happy with Grant and forget about him, then everyone would be happy. I looked at myself, I looked better nowadays, I shuddered at how bad it had been there after the time I had left him there we the church.

I went back to the phone and opened what Grant had written, I smiled when he asked if I had received the flowers, I wrote back that he was completely mad and I knew he was probably laughing on the other side when he answered with a smile.

I smiled more now, I wanted to see him again but I didn't dare to ask, I didn't want to be too on, it probably felt nasty as it was to be torn between two emotions all the time to deliberately burn one of them.

The phone vibrated again, it was Grant asking if I wanted to see him tomorrow, my heart started beating faster, I laughed as I wrote that I wanted to as long as there was food.

We wrote back and forth for a while when he finally decided that he would pick me up at seven like last time and that I had said goodbye to him, I didn't dare say anything more, not yet.

I put the phone down happily again, he was a good influence on me.

I didn't move from the room until it was dinner time and here, we all sat and ate in silence, I was extra hungry since this morning and my mother looked anxiously at my portion, I rolled my eyes, she was never satisfied.

Mandy poked around in the food and looked down, I was already feeling guilty, it wasn't her fault that it was the way it was, and I gently looked at her and cleared my throat with food in my mouth.

“I'm sorry...” I looked as beseeched as I could, and she immediately smiled at seeing me happy again.

“No, I shouldn't have said that... I just didn't want you to feel trapped here because of him...” she fell silent again and I smiled apologetically at her, I had to keep my temper in check, but it wasn't the easiest thing to do when the slightest word could make me furious.

“I know...” I looked over them all and they looked at me with their sad eyes that I really hated, I looked away towards the roses and decided to change the subject.

“So, Grant asked me out again...” I smiled tryingly as both Mandy and Mom screamed out loud with joy and clapped their hands again, I held my ear at their ridiculousness and Clark picked up the phone, I wished I'd been that smart.

“God has heard my prayers!” Mum made the sign of the cross and Mandy looked at me eagerly with her big innocent eyes.

“Stop it down mom, you're embarrassing yourself...” I took another bite of mashed potatoes and swallowed it quickly, they were more concerned about this than I was.

“Do you know where you're going this time?” Mandy giggled with eagerness, and I sighed at their questioning.

“No idea, did not ask.” I grinned and stuffed the last of my food and put down my tableware.

“It will probably be somewhere romantic; I mean look at the roses!” Mandy pointed in the direction of the big bouquet, and I leaned back and laughed, it didn't matter where we were as long as I got to be with him... I caught myself and smiling silly at my own thought, maybe I could like him more than I dared to hope.

I left them to their guessing and went out onto the patio, it stung as I saw Dylan there quickly in my memory when he first came here but pushed it away and looked up at the starry sky, it was a beautiful evening again, I smiled and remembered I had Grant's jacket which I quickly grabbed from the hall and pulled it on and sat down on the wooden sofa, it smelt like him, I pulled it closer to my face as I sat quietly admiring the sky, it would get better, and I would give Grant an honest chance, for my own sake.