Pregnant with the Bad Boy

52

“do you think they liked me?” Grant looked at me now with his playful way and I laughed at his irritable tone, they liked him.

“you only had to say Paris for Mom to be sold.” I laughed louder now as he just smiled tenderly at me, he was a little too drunk to drive home tonight and I did not want him to go either.

“so… do you want to see my small bedroom with a bed you have to cram into?” I looked at him with half-submerged eyes and bit my lip at the thought that he would be in there with me, I would not be able to let him be, not after this time apart.

“not yet.” He smiled at me promising that he would come with me when I saw him disappointed only when he led me away towards the door and I looked surprised at how he put on his coat and he smiled calmly when I thought he would walk when he pulled down my coat and threw it around me and pulled on a hat that was not mine and smiled what I looked like in it. 

“Beautiful as usual.” He caressed my hand with his thumb and we went out on the porch, I drew in the cold air, it was starry like the first night I had met him and I looked up like a child at all the lights in the sky that were so far away from us .

We walked slowly down the stairs and I glanced at him the whole time he was walking and looked so calm, as if he did not have a single concern in the world.

“I like being here.” he had seen me staring at him and I just looked at him like he was crazy and laughed lightly so that my breath froze in the evening air.

“really, in the middle of nowhere and my family who are completely crazy.” I continued to laugh as he just smiled calmly at me and answered in an honest voice, his usual soft tone that I was moved to hear.

“I like your family too, they are loving, I'm almost jealous.” He laughed until now and I shook my head like he was the one who was crazy now.

“what you saw tonight was not as it used to be, they kept arguing about everything, and Mandy and I got to listen to it.” I sighed and he stopped us as we walked in the dark courtyard and turned to face him.

“Maybe it was so… but they love you, it shows.” He looked at me with a slight admiration as he talked about them, I did not even want to say what they had thought about him before tonight.

“Sorry… because I got you to tell me about everything that happened… with her…” I felt like the absolute worst girlfriend ever who had made him go through that moment again in his head.

“No, Don’t be” I would have told it a long time ago really after you found out about her… and you have always been honest and open with me about what you feel… he looked at me with a faint smile as if he were the one who was sad about what had happened tonight and I caressed my hands over his face as I stood in front of him where we stood some distance from the house and he put his arms around me.

“it's hard to be weak…” I smiled now as his eyes gleamed as they used to do when he looked at me like he was proud, so I blushed at his admiring look.

“twenty-one years and so heavenly smart…” he smiled wider, and I looked down embarrassed, I did not feel smart anywhere, I had been stupid enough to believe Dylan's lies and his demands which had resulted in me standing alone and pregnant left.

“Yeah right.” I laughed at his praise when he got something mysterious in his eyes and released me and I looked confused as he walked quickly to the car and unlocked it before pulling something out of his hand and closing the door.

I stared expectantly at him as he came walking now more slowly, as he had understood that I was standing there and was so curious that I was fainting where he came almost half-rolling towards me when I laughed at his playful way, he was really full of surprises that man.

-roll? I looked at him in surprise and laughed again when he looked at me with his burning eyes and smiled viciously at me as he bowed quickly, I did not know what to do when he looked at me when he got up and put his hand out as I took insecurity and laughed until then with a smile pulled me close to him so close he dared and moved around with me slowly and I looked in love into his eyes that beamed at me, how could I not love him like where we danced slowly around under the starry sky.

“I love you so much Jennifer.” his words were low and only meant to me as I blushed and kissed him gently on the inviting lips.

“Jennifer Ann Thompson.” I said my whole name back, I wanted him to know it, just like Dylan had done, I wanted him to know everything as he smiled understandingly at what I said and he whispered it back in my ear so I shudder at each syllable he did.

“Grant James Stephen Stone.” He said his name back calmly and I probably looked like I could burst out of all the love I felt for him I whispered his name back and we kissed each other quietly when we stopped and he laughed until he pulled up what he had picked up and I gasped to when it was a box, I looked at him in disbelief, he had not bought a ring, had he? I was sweating suddenly when he saw that I was starting to panic and quickly shook my head at my assumptions.

“None of us are ready for such step my darling.” I looked up at him again and was stiff from the cold that spread in my body as it always did when he said something that made me weak at the knees.

“I like it when you say that to me…” I blushed now and his eyes gleamed when he laughed as if I said something funny and pulled his hand over my cheek and held it while he looked into my eyes with his own burning.

“Just because you said it first Jennifer…” his voice was amused now, and I looked at him confused and he laughed again as I had no memory of it at all.

“You told me after you collapsed in the shower.” I was suddenly ashamed, I had said something, but I do not know if I had dreamed or if I was awake when he saw that I was embarrassed and just touched his nose with mine.

“But you're my darling.” He stayed by my nose, and I smiled embarrassed, it felt as intimate with everything he did, as it was just for me in the whole world.

“And you are mine.” I had a hard time saying that yet and he did not even try to tease me as Dylan would have done, I smiled again when he kissed me and pulled out the box again that he had brought.

“happy on my twentieth birthday my darling.” I just looked at him amused as I took the box and looked at it, it was a slightly larger box, really not a ring box thankfully as I had thought, it was in blue velvet and I touched the soft fabric with my fingers and looked up at him and smiled, whatever it was I would love it.

“okay now you get to open it before we freeze to death here.” I laughed as he quickly pulled his hands over his arms as if to show that he was freezing and I sighed in his playful way, I loved him so much.

I opened the blue box and gasped in shock as there was a beautiful gold charm shaped like a heart with white stones in it, it was beautifully decorated and I stared at it for several seconds as if I could not believe he could give me something so nice already.

“it's wonderful Grant…” I looked at it in amazement before I looked up at him and smiled happily that he was so caring towards me.

He looked at me happily as I smiled blissfully and touched my heart with my finger, it was so beautiful and he was so wonderful, I did not deserve any of them.

“good, because it fits this one.” he slowly pulled up a bracelet he had had in his pocket and I looked at it wide-eyed as he held it in his hand for a few seconds, it was made of gold and it looked like someone had braided several threads around each other and I stared in shock on how he put it around my wrist and took the charms out of the box and fastened it with a sure hand.

“Grant…” I turned my arm around; it was wonderful, and my heart was pounding when I touched the arm trying as he took my hand and held it up so he could see the charms in front of him and I just watched how he moved it weakly and smiled me secretly and put his other hand on the weak bend that my body revealed as if I was with children nowadays.

“I wanted to give you something that showed how much I love you already and the baby…” his smile was so warm when I started to cry, I did not understand how he was as perfect as all the time.

“So, if we have more babies later, I will fill it for you.” I was still crying as he nodded at my bracelet, and he said something that made me breathless again as I stared in surprise into his warm eyes.

“More babies?” I laughed, he planned for everything the man when he laughed and pulled me into his arms as if he understood what he said and I closed my eyes around him, I was the happiest woman in the world, without hesitation.

“Absolutely, at least ten.” I laughed at his joke and looked into his beautiful eyes that were only for me and no one else.

“what about we start with one and seeing where we end up next? He nodded at me when I laughed again when he kissed me and I felt it was time to go in, I wanted him to stay, no matter what my parents thought of it.

“Jennifer, maybe I should go?” He looked at me questioningly and I shook my head, no I did not want to, not after everything he had said and done tonight and I held his hand as he looked nervously at the house as if he was afraid of what he would do with me near my parents.

“stay.” I looked at him pleadingly now that he looked like he did not know what he wanted to do which made me get a strong lump in my throat for no reason at all as it was I who had asked him to go last time.

“are you sure?” His eyes were longing and I knew he wanted to too, but he tried to keep the boundary I had drawn between us, and I wanted to cross it.

“I know what I said about keeping my distance, but stay with me tonight.” I could not say more, he had to decide for himself what he wanted as he looked like he chose before he smiled at me confidently and I knew he would stay.

“of course I'll stay if you ask me.” he looked like his usual self the one who knew everything when I took his hand and we intertwined our fingers, I so longed to sleep a whole night without waking up and looking for him as I had done the last week.

We said nothing more and walked quietly up the stairs, he had never been up here it hit me, but Dylan had, the thought made me even more wanting him with me, that Dylan would not be allowed to have a monopoly on who I had let him sleep with me in the room.

I opened the door as quietly as I could and he stepped in behind me and looked around apparently amused by all my teenage things that I still had not cleared away after being home for several months.

“Are you sure we're not in your sister's room?” He smiled angrily at me as I just shrugged at his clever comment about my teenage taste.

“I do not hope so, would be difficult for her to explain what I want to do with you…” I bit my lip and he suddenly looked at me nervously as I smiled meaningfully and put my arms around his neck and stared into his beautiful eyes as hesitated before what I suggested.

“Jennifer…” he sounded tired and I looked at him in surprise as he sighed and looked at me seriously as he still had his arms around me.

“I can be on top if you are afraid that…” I tried to explain to him but I did not have time anymore when he stopped me with a look.

“it's not that…” he released me and sat down now, I just looked at him hurt, did he not want me? or had I said something? I looked at him anxiously, maybe he did not think I was attractive anymore when you saw that I was pregnant now?

“Grant… do you think I'm still sexy?” I looked questioningly at his sunken head which slowly looked up at me like I was crazy and I just stood there and saw him smile at me suddenly as if he understood what I meant.

“always, more than you understand”. He stretched out his arms and I sat on his lap quietly, I did not really want to ask, but something was wrong with him I noticed.

“what is wrong then? is it that mom and dad are here?” I looked quickly at the door, they knew we were having s*x and the door locked as he quickly shook his head and I began to get frustrated at why he wanted to go home rather than be here with me more.

“it's not it either Jennifer…” I turned around and looked down at his eyes and already knew where it was before he even had to say it.

“Veronica.” His voice was tired, and I sighed heavily, I wanted to be understanding as he was with me and all my chaos around Dylan but I was not, I was selfish and I wanted him for myself, but it felt like I always would stand in her shadow as he sat here thinking of her instead of being with me after a week.

“I understand…” I said the words too fast, too loud and he looked up at me as he heard at once that I was annoyed, and I did not want to get him upset anymore tonight but she really bothered me.

“no, you do not…” his looked tired he did not want to talk anymore and I was afraid he did not want to stay with me and pulled my arms harder around him, how pathetic I was not when it came to the crunch who did not want be away from him not even a second if I got what I wanted.

“I do not want you to go Grant ...” I looked at him sadly when he sighed and tried to smile at me, but I already saw it when I had seen it in myself when the darkness swallowed a lot.

“I did not say that I should go either…” his eyes were so tired and dead for lack of better words so it hurt me, we had had such a wonderful evening and he had given me the bracelet and called me darling, but so I knew how fast you could fall down even if you were happy, I really understood that.

“Grant, I understand.” I said the words quietly and I caressed his forehead with my hand and he just looked at me now as if he did not believe in me and I smiled tenderly at his handsome face which was otherwise full of laughter and determination.

“I know, you think I do not know… but I know…” I pulled my hands over his cheeks caressing and he just looked at me and that was enough, I knew you did not need more, just someone who was there and cared one, it was my turn to be the one who cared about him and not just the one who got all the support from him.

I sat on him and pulled my hands over his head for a while until he lay down back without asking me anything more and I lay down by his side and stroked his face with my fingertips and just was there without saying anything until he slept and I kissed him gently on the lips and put on him one of my pink blankets my mother had bought.

“I love you.” I whispered the words in his ear as he moved anxiously and I caressed his face a few more times before I went out of the room and into the bathroom to change, I saw myself in the mirror, I still looked like someone who had control and maybe I had, Grant had not survived, even though seven years had passed, the darkness came back and I would do what I could help him with it, so much I owed him after all he had done for me, and then I do not want to see him suffer either when I loved him.

I felt the cold moving around me and smiling in the middle of everything, I ignored if he turned off, or if he drank too much wine to handle things, he was mine and I was not perfect in the long run either.

I stole my mother's bathrobe and went down to the kitchen to eat leftovers when I was still hungry when I saw them in the kitchen, mom and dad. I froze from what I had seen.

mom sat half-pushed on the kitchen island with her legs around dad’s torso who held her so close that they had almost no distance between each other and kissed with their eyes closed. They looked happy. I backed out quietly as they did not see me thankfully before the panic broke out in me.

What the hell would I do?! I did not want them to see me so I did the most immature of all choices and hid behind the wall in the hall and eavesdropped on when they made out more or less and I would have laughed if it was not because I knew they were both were drunk and would regret tomorrow when they woke up, but part of me was happy, it was the ten-year-old who still hoped that they would stay with each other even though I knew they would only fight when it came to the crumbling down. I snuck back and walked quietly up the stairs, I would not say anything, not to anyone, not even to Mandy, she would be devastated if there was even a streak of hope that they would be together as I knew it would never be it again, drunkenness or not.

I laughed when I closed the door, I was happy for them anyway, they seemed to be the people they were when they met as teenagers and honestly, they were adults and made their own choices in life. 

I lay down next to Grant as close as I could and he put his arm around me as he felt I was there and I crawled closer and listened to his heartbeat, I was so grateful he was here and I promised myself that I would trying to let go of Veronica, even though it was hard, Grant had to put up with the fact that I had barely gotten over Dylan and I should be more like him, understanding.

I smiled again as he moved and I caressed his forehead, I was not tired honestly, not after everything that had happened tonight, it felt like everything had come to a head and something had turned in all of us in the family, we had said goodbye to the past and for that I would be Grant grateful for my whole life no matter what happened to the two of us in the future.

I was just about to fall asleep when I heard that.

Her name, he mumbled it in his sleep and my heart sank, he had said he would have chosen me if she was standing there but after tonight, I was not so sure anymore… I swallowed the tears and lay down again, I could not bear that he loved her more right now, it got to be another day's problem.