Pregnant with the Bad Boy

66

I woke up when there was a loud knock on the door and I panicked and yanked Dylan who looked at me angrily before he heard that there was a knock too, they were probably here to pick up Dylan, for what happened yesterday…

I was sure of it when he dressed quickly while I sat paralyzed in bed naked before his voice made me come back and I grabbed my underwear and pulled on them quickly, I just panicked at him when he stepped into his boots and I tore open the wardrobe that was supposed to be mine when I moved in for the first time, of course he had not been able to do anything with my bags that were left and I quickly pulled on a too thin summer dress that went down to my calves and made me look even more pregnant than I was.

He had already walked towards the door, I knew that he was worried, I was anxious when he opened the door when I just came out of the bedroom and my heart sank right through me to the bottom of a black hole, there were two policemen there. I drew in the air hard as if to prepare myself to be without him, for God knows how long.

I did not even hear what they said when he just looked at me scared as I stood there and watched them handcuff him, of course. he had killed Parker; I only knew how the blood had flowed out of every part of his face. I wanted to vomit at the thought when Dylan's voice made me wake up again, I was not allowed to shut down again, I didn’t have that luxury anymore.

“Call Marnie, tell her what happened, my cell phone is in the bedroom.” He said every word slowly to me as he knew on my face that I was too stressed to even have a single f*****g thought in my head right now.

“Dylan!” I ran forward and kissed him desperately, he just looked at me with a sad smile when I saw that they were about to take him away from me.

“Calm down Jen, calm down.” He said the words to me as they took him away through the loft corridor and I ran out after them and I wanted to shout at them to let him go when he looked at me one last time and stepped into the back seat of the police car, it was the second time since we met as I had seen him do that.

I watched stupidly that they were driving away before it hit me, call Marine, tell her what happened, I ran back into the bedroom and picked up his phone to call when I stopped by the picture of me, it was taken some time During our first days, I had long hair and I laughed sitting in bed with one of his T-shirts on me. it burned in my eyes that he had had it all along, even though I had told him to go to hell, he had never really given up. 

I dialled Marnie's number and cursed when she did not answer so I called again before I gave up and wrote that Dylan had been arrested and that she would call me on my number.

I took his mobile with me and put it in my bag. I wished I had had a picture of him, why had I been so f*****g stupid all the time and not thought about it?! I went through the bags quickly and pulled on a pair of soft pants and a jumper instead of the dress and was just about to go and put on my boots when my mobile rang, and I answered begging to God that it was Marnie who called.

“Jennifer? what the hell happened?!” She sounded upset, of course she was, her only brother had been seized by the police.

“Marnie!” I sounded as relieved as I felt to hear her voice on the other side as I sat down helplessly on the bed before I began to tell everything.

“Dylan was just arrested; I do not know exactly for what, but he assaulted a guy yesterday quite seriously…” I would cry soon when she was quiet on the other side, and I continued without waiting.

“It was one of his old friends, he tried to r**e me inside the toilet and…” I stopped there when I didn’t want to see Parker's bloody swollen face in front of me again.

“I understand.” She sounded serious now, as if all traces of her playfulness were gone and I was stupidly waiting for her to say something more.

“Is there anything else I need to know?” she sounded so f*****g cold all of a sudden and I wondered why Dylan had even asked me to call her if she was just going to sit and judge him on the other side.

“We got married yesterday…” I figure I just tell her the truth; I did not expect her to be happy at all when she sighed as if her life had become a hundred times harder, I sat with tears in my eyes when she noticed that I was crying, and her tone changed at once for me.

“I'm happy for you Jennifer… believe me I am, but it could be that if there were to be a trial, you can not testify because you are unlawful according to the law because you are his wife.” She sounded so damn smart, and I realized that I had no idea where Marnie did for a living or who she was, just that she was annoying according to Dylan and funny according to me.

“I'm taking care of this, don 't worry about it. I will get back to you as soon as I know more.” I mumbled goodbye when she assured me again that everything would be fine. I was not at all sure about that.

I was left with the phone in my hand after she hung up, damn it. Why was I so f*****g stupid !? I threw the phone behind me on the bed, if I had known I would never have said we would do it, but it felt so right, and it still did.

I picked up the phone and got up from the bed, I would have to tell mom and dad… I sighed loudly as I went and pulled on my boots and jacket and took the bag with both our phones with me, I locked the door with the keys I had before and went quickly down to the Volvo, I did not know what to do, I had no idea where he was or what I could do…. I got in the car and closed the door before I leaned down on the steering wheel with my head and closed my eyes.

Everything felt like it was just chaos, yesterday had been the happiest day of my life but I had been terrified when Parker had come towards me, and when Dylan literally knocked the s**t out of him. I got up from the wheel, I was not allowed to shut down again, not when I was pregnant, I had realized it, I was going to be a mom for real and I did not want to let her down by just stop working now, I had to fight my way through all even if it was hard as hell.

I started the car and drove away from the parking lot and went to the farm, I hardly even wanted to think about what Dad would say about this, there would be trouble.

I turned off in the courtyard after driving quickly here and saw that dad's car was gone… I swallowed; he was gone then in other words… I did not want to cry any more, not that he was gone, I knew deep down that he would leave again, if not because he could not stand being without Levi, I understood him, but I understood mom too.

I got out of the car, it was early in the morning, and I saw that Mandy was not home either, then she would probably have fled if they had been arguing all night and Dad had left in the morning.

I climbed the stairs, why did it feel like I did not live here anymore? I had chosen Dylan yesterday and I thought I would take care of it; I did not want to stay here no matter what was waiting inside.

I opened the door and of course, I already saw that it was a mess and the chairs in the kitchen were overturned. I went in and looked around; it had not ended well no matter what happened here.

“Mom?” I cried for her when I heard her laugh upstairs, I thought for a second that she was happy before I heard the laughter turn into hysterical crying as if she was in despair and I walked slowly up the stairs and looked into their room, or yes, her room as it would be now again.

“Mom?!” I saw her sitting in there, she was leaning over the bed with her hair all over her face and she was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a thick sweater, reeking of alcohol inside and I had already seen the empty bottles on the floor from the cupboard in the living room, I felt so damn awful that I had left her, that I would do it with, I could not bear again of this.

“Jennifer…” she said my name sadly when I stepped into the strong odour and she suddenly opened her head and looked at me, she was drunk and had a misty look over the big blue beautiful eyes.

“so he's gone.” I said the words obviously when she nodded heavily and cried again when I sat down next to her, I had mixed feelings, I wanted to comfort her but I had my own problems that were worse than that dad had left her again.

“yes, he left last night.” She sighed and started to unscrew the cap on the gin bottle she had in her hand when I pulled it off lightly and put it down when she looked angrily at me as I was the villain in it all.

“Why did you tell him I loved him !? huh!? he would have stayed away if you had not opened that mouth of yours Jennifer…” her anger subsided as fast as it came and I comforted my hand on her back, I hated to see her like this again, what would I do? Call Dad and beg him to come back when they would just end the same thing again?

“I wish so f*****g much that he had never had that f*****g kid, then he would have stayed.” She threw herself back angrily and I also lay down by her side, I did not believe it at all, but I made her believe it.

“But what the hell was he when you were little?! Is her f*****g son more important than my girls are!?” She slurred until now and I sighed, hardly, he regretted every day that he was not there when we were kids, that was why he did not want to be away from Levi now.

“you’re not making a f*****g sound all of a sudden?!” She turned to me where we lay and I turned to her and smiled sadly, what could I say that she did not already know?

“Mom, it's going to be fine.” I said the words comfortingly and she snorted loudly and rolled her drunken eyes as if that was the dumbest thing I could say.

“Hardly. I'm going to die by myself in this f*****g house that's really his and no one's going to know that I can’t f*****g love anyone but that bastard!” I now smiled sympathetically at her, because I knew how it felt so I did not intend to judge her at all.

“Do you have to live here then? sell the house and move, dad does not care if you do. you do not have to go here and wait for him.” I said the words honestly and she just blinked as if I had spoken Greek to her now as I smiled and stroked her arm with my hand.

“Wait what are you saying?” She sounded confused when I shrugged, I did not want to live here, not now and not later for that matter.

“I’m saying screw this waiting around for him, he has moved on and you should do it to.” I actually laughed when she looked at me with something that lit in her eyes now that I understood that my words had taken hold now.

She got up seated and I followed and just watched her, I had panicked this morning when they took Dylan away, had barely been able to think and now I sat here calmly and told my mother what she would do with her life.

“you're damn right… why am I here? I've spent my life trying to get him to stay since I had the miscarriage ...” she sounded sad and I looked at her miserably, it must have been so hard for her.

“So, sell it, Mandy wants to go pro and go around the world, and I will not stay either…” I would say what happened, I just wanted to give her some time for her problems before she heard about mine.

“You are right…” she looked at me as if she had suddenly seen the light in the tunnel and I laughed when she suddenly smiled at me, and I was glad she felt better.

“I'm going to sell everything, not a single f*****g thing I should take with me when I leave this f*****g town.” She smiled happily and I was happy for her sake even if I would miss her, I would have my own family… if now Dylan was going to do jailtime for the rest of his life for killing parker… I dismissed the thought and looked at her blissful face smiling at the ceiling now.

“you're so smart Jennifer, just like me!” she laughed, and I smiled happily at her exclamation as she stood up now and I followed again as she started to walk away from me before she turned around and stared at me as she had seen an alien all of a sudden and I looked confused at how she stared at me as if she had discovered something terrible.

“Jennifer… no! No! Do not say you went back to him…” she looked to start crying now and I closed my eyes, she had seen the cross on me, damn. She was not at all in any shape to hear any of what I wanted to say, especially if Dad had just left her.

“We are together again…” I said it almost ashamed even though I did not feel so when she screamed angrily straight into the air as if it would help to change me, it wouldn’t change a god damn thing.

“Have you not learned anything from seeing me and Dad! it will not work… because people do not change…” she looked resigned now and I shook her head, he had changed, just not in the way she understood.

“Mom, there is nothing you can say that will make me leave him…” I stopped when she sat down on the bed and stared angrily at me.

“I know. I know damn well, you've done what you wanted since you could talk, just like your dad.” she seemed to start crying again and I sighed to myself and sat down next to her again.

“I love him so much, we are going to have a baby, I don’t want anyone else. He's not perfect but neither am I…” I know how ridiculous it sounded to her and dad's story, but we were not them, I was not like mom who was just silent if there was something, I fought with him, we screamed on each other, but we were always made up in the end.

She just laughed joylessly at what I had said, and I understood her, she thought we were doomed to follow in their footsteps.

“I saw it the first time he was here, you know? that you were so damn in love with him that you could do anything for him… I should have kicked out the charming bastard when I saw him ...” she mumbled something more than I did not hear when I put my hand on her shoulder there, she sat with her hands clasped in front of her mouth and rocked back and forth almost invisibly.

“I know that too… but I'm not the same person as then…” I had been a naive small town girl who only followed him when I should have fought with him, put my foot down for his egocentric behaviour that came from the fact that he was used to getting what he even wanted when it came to girls.

“I hope so… for your sake…” she said nothing more now and I sighed, I could just as easily tell the rest that had happen while I still had told her everything else.

“I married him yesterday.” I said the words as if we had been at lunch when she froze and turned her head slowly as she thought she was too drunk to hear right as I smiled casually at her anger that came flaming in my eyes.

“What the hell did you say you did!? You married him!? yesterday !?” She was screaming now, straight in my face and I nodded lightly to her, I was not going to change, and I had expected this reaction.

“Mom, that was my decision, Dylan haven’t said one word about getting married since we broke up.” She stood up now and I sat there waiting for her to yell at me again as her voice was low and frighteningly threatening instead.

“Get out.” I just stared at her; did she just say I should get out? She was still looking at me angrily with a rage I had never seen on her when she pointed at the door now.

“didn’t you hear what I said! Get the hell out! You are not welcome here anymore.” She was still screaming, and I looked at her confused, so she really threw me out right now?!

“Mom please…” I said the words trying to her when she turned her head away and still pointed at the door and I wanted to say something to her, but she had decided.

I walked past her and into my old room as it was now and took my laptop and the pictures I had from the ultrasounds, there was nothing more I wanted here. she stood still and did not look at me as I went down the stairs and out through the hall and stood on the stairs before I would go down to the car, f**k her.

I was not even going to cry over it when I opened the door and put things in before I sat down and closed the door while I looked at the house, I should not miss it.

I started the car and drove out of the yard and looked quickly in the rear-view mirror she was standing there now and watched as I left, I bit my lip I was so f*****g feed up that I was not allowed to make my own decisions even though I was an adult, and honestly, was that not why I wanted to be with Dylan? He didn’t care what people thought and I had found it exciting…

I sighed now and blinked away the tears, I do not even know why I was not very sad when I drove up the highway and back to town, I wanted to talk to dad, but it had to wait, I only managed one parent's exile at a time.

But Mandy might be happy for me, but at this point I was not sure about anything, just that I wanted Dylan and he wanted me. that was the only thing I clung to right now.

I had come into Perryville again and stopped at the red lights where I saw her, Mandy of course, she was strolling in town with her friends when I smiled and was about to honk when she turned to the friend she had on the side and kissed her fast on the mouth… I blinked like I did not believe what I saw, did Mandy like girls? I stared at her as she actually held hands with the cute brown-haired girl who shyly looked around while Mandy did not seem to care less.

I drove forward behind them until I had reached her side and stopped at the sidewalk, she saw me, and I smiled, she panicked now as if she had been caught killing someone when I raised my eyebrows, so that was why she met as many guys as she could, she did not want mom and dad to know about this.

She did not let go of the girl though which made me happy, I hoped she would understand that I was okay with her liking girls… I got out of the car and walked over to them, and the cute brown-haired girl seemed to want to hide when I laughed when I came walking towards them and Mandy looked at me expectantly as if she was just waiting for me to ask her to burn in hell or was that now everyone around here would say about her.

“Someone has a girlfriend…” I said the words teasingly and she seemed to relax as I had sung the words like a schoolgirl, and she pulled out the sweet girl in front of me who did not know what she would be anywhere.

“Jane, this is my sister Jennifer.” she said everything as if she was not nervous at all as I nodded kindly to her.

“So, what do you and your girlfriend do then besides getting the town's hatred on you during the day?” I said the words so simply that she started laughing and I followed it, I was happy for her, really.

“Yeah, were out shopping pitchfork, might as well get a head.” She sighed and I felt terrible, I had felt sorry for myself for people to talk about me, but this was on a completely different level, there were many who would never accept this, two girls who were together.

“I get you a good deal on them, I can go over too little rock and get some for you.” I sighed and she immediately looked happier that I did not make a big deal out of this.

“Babe, wait for me, you know where.” She looked at the cute brunette before she kissed her quickly so that my heart broke, that they would have to hide was awful when Jane nodded and disappeared without saying anything and I looked at her compassionately though I know she hated it just as much like I did.

“Okay, stop now, do not look at me like that, I'm still the same person, not the devil in disguise.” She saw the still surprise on my face as I raised my eyebrows and looked at her sweet face amused.

“Are you sure? I can go to court testifying otherwise that you are the devil yourself sometimes.” She did not laugh with me when I grinned stupidly at her sourness and we went to a bench and sat in the cold January morning, hell everything was at its breaking point all of a sudden and I hardly knew what to do with anything anymore.

“You can be a little shocked that I like girls…” she looked at me slyly as if I had insulted her by not being that surprised to see her with her sweet girlfriend.

“It's been a long morning.” I said the words tired and she immediately looked worried, she knew that mom and dad had fought of course, she had probably left as soon as she got the chance.

“That bad huh?” She was playing with her pink hair, and I nodded, she had no idea.

“How long have you liked girls then?” I said the sentence relaxed as she shrugged as if she could not answer it.

” I don’t know…always?” She grinned now and I smiled back at her sparkling eyes, I knew my mother would not react like this, and honestly, Dad would probably not be happy either.

“Okay.” I laughed and looked at the road that was empty in front of us, I assumed that she would be in school right now, but I did not care, it was not like I had made any wise decisions either.

“f**k Jen. You’re taking all the fun of getting out of the closet for me.” She shook her head as I smiled weakly at her teasing answer, she would see when the fun began later, just wait.

“Mom threw me out.” I said the words amused as she stared at me as if I had been joking as I sat with my arms crossed and leaned back comfortably on the hard bench we were sitting on.

“Are you kidding me!? why!?” She had sat up now after sitting down and I shrugged, it was just as well that I told Mandy everything and hoped that she would not push me away either.

“I married Dylan yesterday.” I saw how her eyes widened in shock and she sat dumbfounded for a moment as I just stared at the lawn in front of me.

“Wait… wait… so I can’t be the bridesmaid at your wedding? Is that where you saying to me!?” She sounded upset now and I was just looking at her weird, that was what she was angry about? Not that he was bad to me and all that people said to me all the time.

“No, we went down to City Hall yesterday and did that, you're now looking at Mrs. Hopper.”

I had turned my head towards her and smiled playfully as she angrily crossed her arms and stared out at the lawn too.

“How can you be so selfish? I had the perfect dress I had saved until you got married and then you go and do it secretly.”

“Until we get married?” I laughed now, she had forgotten everything that had happened between us, all the fighting and Dylan was cheating on me. I sighed at her sour face now.

“Yes! It was wonderful, I always knew that you would do it sooner or later with him, I mean my God Jen, you are going to have a kid with him, and you are disgustingly in love with each other.” I looked at her speech in surprise, she had really thought so all the time without saying anything.

“You sent the picture of me, right? to him? when I came back from the hospital?” I laughed when she nodded in shame and I just looked at her before I shrugged, I should have known that he had seen it to damn fast for it to be a coincidence.

“Okay sorry, I messaged him, mostly because he wanted to know what happened to you, but I did not say anything about the rich guy or that you were pregnant until you wanted to.”

She sank with her head, she thought I would hate her, I sighed, I probably would have done it if she had said this a couple of months ago, I was an i***t who just did not understand it faster.