Midnight thoughts

Hot like summer

Now that summer was heating up, my feelings for you are just like summer hot and burning like fire, but even though I have feelings towards you I never had a chance to tell you this, I never had a chance to talk to you regarding this because I knew that when that day comes I need to risk everything, I need to put our friendship in line, our memories and also you, and I guess I'm not ready for that, this is the first time that I have someone I can call when I want to and that's you and that would hurt so much if suddenly the better days that I'm experiencing right now will suddenly stop and gone into thin air.

Having you in my life is like a breath of fresh air, all my burdens and sadness are magically gone and suddenly my life becomes colourful, clean and brand new, I know it sounds cliché but it's true, indeed. without you my life wouldn't be better like this, I will never be happy like this, and I will never have a chance to try something new and out myself in a cage or a room without lights on it. You've let me see the beam of light outside of my room and have fun while the sun is up and forget everything, you let me be me just this once and let me explore the world outside, I will never be happy because of you, that's why I'm happy and grateful because of you, and now I realize that there's nothing wrong about trying something new.

I walked into the terrace and let the breeze of summer hug my skin and let the beam of sun kiss my skin, and I keep smiling because now, I learn how to live normally, I just need to work on my communication skills and have fun while doing it, I know you know that I use you as my ground to do all these things and be a better version of me, I know it will never be easy at least there's progress.

I close my eyes and I go somewhere else just like magic, I see you there smiling, want me to be with you, that's it, that's all I wanted those imaginations of mine are such a butterfly in my stomach, I can't help myself but to smile, thinking about you makes my cheeks turn red and your voice is such a shiver in my spine, every each day I can't help myself to fall for you and each day, picture of you are the only thing in my head, I know I might sound crazy, desperate or something but I guess I fell hard, I really fell hard, didn't I?

Time goes by so fast, I learn more about you, I talked about a lot of things with you, I really love every second of my day because of you, and all I wanted is to be with you. The class resumed and this is the first time that I am excited to go to class, not because I have you and I have another chance to get mesmerized by your beauty or something but because I love the fact that I am not alone anymore, finally, I have someone I can call a friend, I have someone to be with, to laugh with at school. Finally, I have you.

We were in the woods having the best time of our lives, being free from the world, we thought that this place was built for us, me and you and no one can be with us, this place was sacred for us, this place is sacred because this place makes us happy and free, this place we can be what we want to be. We sat down in the tree, the same tree we sit on before, I don't know why but every time I'm here with you it feels like the first time, my heart keeps racing every time our skin touches, the beam of the sun are hugging our skin, I was looking from afar when you suddenly hold my hand, my heart skips, the feeling that a bunch of ice pour in you, that gives you shiver and a second of it makes you stunned that what I'm feeling right now, I can't move, suddenly you drop my hand and you run, I am in the state that I don't know anything, I was like literally mind absent, I don't know if I'll run too and followed you or I'm going to sit here and savour the moment a while ago. and when everything sinks in, I run as fast as I can to keep up with you but unfortunately, I can't see you, I was panicking because I'm scared right now, I don't know where to see you, I don't know how to get out in this woods. Did I lost him? Did he forget about me? Did we lost each other? I run and run just to see you I don't care about what time right now but I know that anytime soon the sky will be dark, I looked for you as much as fast as I can but I failed, I am so tired and thirsty, I sat down and take my time to rest. Now that dark is swallowed the sun and the moon comes up, now I'm more afraid, I looked around hoping to see you standing, but no, the haze appear and I saw someone standing on there, my blood rushed and my heart froze when he suddenly run towards me and then I heard your voice shouting my name and the guy who's running towards me, is you. I suddenly cry not because I'm scared, I cried because I thought you left me behind, I hugged you tight and you say all your sorry, you hugged me tight, really really tight and now I finally feel secure, safe and sound. while hugging you I just realize that even the strongest person on earth can feel sad, scared and gets panicked.