Midnight thoughts

Spring

Alone in peace, crickets started to sing in harmony, drowned and fond by the stars, moon, and night sky were my favorite, indeed. There is something about graveyard hours which allows you to feel at ease—a time when the world holds its breath leaving you with what you truly feels. Midnight has its own magic, magic that steals you away from reality to confront your own corner of souls or be someone else and be a hypocrite. It's time for soul to be fed into imagination. When your heart feels heavy and your spirit weighed down, the cold haze of the night wraps around you like a whisper, brushing your skin with an eerie comfort. If loneliness creeps in, the stars blink knowingly, as if to remind you that you’re never truly alone. And when insecurity gnaws at your edges, the moon—so big and luminous—stands watch, a silent guardian that tells you, in its gentle glow, you are loved. But just like humans, midnight has its own shadow— pain that lingers and sadness that sits on the profound edge. Yet, emotions arise on the surface, and somehow they glisten and shimmer as they fell— it's not like a burden but something way more beautiful.

And just like that, the spell was broken. I was forcibly brought back by reality, standing in the middle of a crowd. Noisy and full of chatter, when the light passed by and a flair of sun started to play on my eyes. It was a beautiful view, and I was flabbergasted when I saw you, holding a beautiful smile and standing as tall like a tree and dresses like a fine wine. A boy with green-coloured eyes, two beautiful pairs of shimmering pools of green, as if the earth captured the vitality of spring together with milky-coloured skin, delicate and smooth as well-polished surface. The world slowly walks as if it paused, surely captivated by those emerald eyes, I was too caught up in it, late to realize I was pulled by the magnetic force of those eyes. The sunrays who’s kissing up his delicate skin and reflecting in my eyes like a flare of golden amber are so astonishing.

Looking at him makes my heart flutter, a little tinkling sound passes through my ears and a swarm of butterflies surrounds my chest. The chaotic world around me dissolved into silence the moment our eyes met. It was as if the universe had hit pause, leaving only the sound of my heartbeat—loud, relentless, and impossibly alive—echoing in my ears like a drum summoning a storm, under the catastrophic event happening in my chest, my brown almond eyes were blessed and blissfully watching the world around you. It fell subtle, painted in pastel and wildflower blooms dug up really deep inside my soul.

As people passed by at my face, I noticed that they wearing different emotions in their faces and it is something that I’d never had a chance to do because I have this character that I lived my life where everything was so fast and I never had a chance to appreciate everything in my surrounding, but today is different, it was like the time is moving slow, as God allow me today to appreciate everything that I want, to see and have fun in every single and little detail of my days. And I’m really moved because today I saw different things and look at them with my heart racing because I’m excited.

Those eyes of yours were like an arrow of an archer man and hit my heart like prey, it was too sudden for me but the difference is I was loving every moment of it, it was totally magical, it was so clever what love was, it was like in the dark there’s a glimpse of white colour that your eyes sending when you close your eyes. But if you’re going to ask me if I’m in love? Absolutely yes, is it easy? No, I don’t even know the name of the guy I’m talking about, crossed my fingers, that sooner or later I see him again.

As this tiring day is done I decided to go home, as walking to my room I couldn’t help my self to smile, those face again, those face that I keep falling to, my heart is so flattered, I was really blushing, I decided to lay my body in the bed that once comforted when I feel alone and open the side table lamp that giving me a deem light enough for me to see my tears and wiped them, I used to think and see these things “my comfort” when I feel blue because those things are the only thing that sees my grief and despair but again tonight is different I see these things differently, these things is not only for my blues but this thing also is for my joy, this thing is not only for my sorrowful world but this time it’s also for my unreal piece of heaven euphoria because they see me in this kind of state… all too well.

As when I hang my head low, I can’t even think. what a shame, didn’t want to lose this happiness, because for some moment I think it would be nice if I woke up tomorrow with a smile on my lips right? And for some reason being a positive person and being happy-go-lucky is nice, laughing with your friends like crazy about the same old jokes is something that is truly good, it is something that you can call better days, I really envy those people who had to call a friend because for me being friends with someone is not for me. But even though I’m still looking for it, I don’t need too many I just need a few but true. A person that I can call a friend of mine, laughing at jokes with cringy lines, going to the mall with them, sharing about your day, opinions in life and telling stories about the people that we like, is all I wanted, but unfortunately, I don’t have one. I just wish tomorrow morning is the best day for me, Dear God don’t let me down.

When the night is over and midnight time is approaching suddenly my smiley face wiped out and the emotion burst in, I thought I was fine but nope, I was not, I just realized, talking about the chances that I miss, talking about the people that I want to be friends with, and talking about tomorrow is actually saddens me because, Yes I do, I feel in love, but how can I assured that he likes the kind of girl like me, he likes me the same way I felt. Just taking about looking for a friend is way too hard for me, and then the person that I like suddenly likes me back, that’s so f*****g impossible.