True Alphas

What do you do when you see fate staring you down like the barrel of a loaded shotgun aimed directly at your pounding heart? You watch pictures of your life flicker by, sure, you could run from it. You could fight it. You could kill yourself. But that is the reason that fate is called Your Fate, you can’t run. There is no point in running. Because it is your fate. Fate is fate…and there is nothing that you can do to stop it, nor get away from it. Many have tried and many have failed…   And that is just the life we live.   So here I sit. Here I listen. Listen to my grandparents discuss my fate without my permission. If the world has brought this arraignment into my life then it must be fate rearing her ugly head in my midst…the fire is warm on my toes. My parents aren’t happy. Voices echo off the walls of the room as everyone at the table raises and pitches their tones. What a wonderful world we live in…I graduate school, I like my job, I drive a nice car…but I cant make decisions for myself, because I am a woman.   How mild…how meek…how….   “Soraya!” I turn to my grandmother as the light from the fire embeds its self in her creases. This makes her look terrifying. At one time I would have killed to have those Icey blue eyes on me.  But not tonight. Tonight they will haunt my nightmares, maybe they will for the rest of my life. She snaps her fingers at me. I’ve gotten lost in my thoughts again. “Honestly Soraya…this is why this is her only chance.”   “Why can’t she just be left alone? She is special. She isn’t like other females.” My mother hisses quietly. Her addiction to my distracting inner demon is upsetting. To me most of all. Can’t she see that I am not handicapped? I only operate on a separate plain, I have two minds, possibly two personalities, but I only act on mine….not the demons!  We are just separate beings. We think in two different minds…we feel the same. We feel nothing the same! My father rubs the scars along his hair line. For a moment my demon leaves me be, both our heart strings pulled. He has done so much for the community and now he must give up his oldest daughter? But then she pulls away. He is not her father. He is just a man, her father was bred under the moon.   “Think of the other children, Shareen, she is a danger to our other children. We aren’t yet sure whether or not they are right….” My mother cuts him off with cold eyes, her posture ready to fight. My grandparents tighten their muscles as if they would stand much of a chance in their old age. I push the separate thoughts away as I stand from my chair. They all look at me in a sick way. They think we are weak!   We are weak. They do not know! Rip them apart! Rip them apart!   Before I can speak, pain rips through my brain. I clutch my head and teeter on my toes. This stops the overwhelming emotions coming from the table as my mother moves like a cat to steady me. She sneers at me, she calls it learned submission. My mother smooths out my hair, her guard slips for a moment and I know that this is the last time. My fate is sealed. She will not stand her ground anymore because I reached the age of taking. My fathers face will not be scarred ever again. I understand. In our heart we have always understood. My grandmothers mouth twitches behind my mothers back.   “I will let the touched know, they will be here momentarily…” She slips from the table with my grandfather. He meets my gaze with an expression of pity. My mothers hands leave my face and land at her sides with a clap. My demon stirs. They think we are weak, they do not know! They do not know! “Promise me that you will be smart, Be cunning. Destroy them from the inside.” Her voice wavers as she holds my cheeks in her hands, so cold. “You are special no matter what anyone says, okay? Bring honor to your pack. They asked for you by name. You are the princess of our community.” She turns her back to me, my father pulls her to another room. Away from me forever, that was our last touch. I kneel in front of the fire and let the heat burn my skin. She shrinks back away from the flames, its too hot for her.  We won’t cry. My demon agrees quietly as we listen to the foot steps of sorrow filled girls. I don’t want them around me. The presence of touched girls fills my own heart with pain. They enter without knocking and begin to brush my hair. I close my eyes as their emotions surround me, I don’t feel dirty. I feel pity. I open my eyes to meet my grandmothers frozen ones again. Without my demon in the front of my mind I stare back.   “You are a wave length, Soraya. One minute you are a child, the next a woman. You have brought weakness to our community. We must pass you to the next. Bring the last honor that you can to your parents and go quietly.” I stare at her waiting…testing…until I am sure that she will not scrambled my mind and then in turn my words.   “It is this communities loss, Grandmother. They don’t deserve the brightness that the next will have with me being there.” I close my eyes and wait for her reply…or a slap, when it doesn’t come I realize that she has left. My heartaches with the weighted hatred that I have felt all my life. No one ever loved me, yet they want me to make this giant sacrifice. They want me to infiltrate the enemy, they think that I will weaken them. But unbeknownst to them….I will destroy this community. I work on pushing the demon down. This is when I need to put all my effort into controlling her. The next community could have me killed if they find out that I have a weakness, no doubt what my community hopes…or for my weakness to be bred into theirs.   “I do not think you are weak…” Someone whispers. I look at the girl in front of me, she is stirring makeup. She meets my gaze and smiles shyly. “I am Mees.” I blink taken back.   “Mees…of what?” I ask. She blushes and I realize how she became a touched girl. She is beautiful, like spring. She most likely was an adorable little girl and my soul aches for the loss of good blood and for the abuse she is given.   “Mees…just Mees…” She responds. “I am your follower.” I smile then. Mees begins to apply makeup to my eyes. Mees is going to the new community with me, which is strange but no doubt what my grandmother thinks I deserve. Instead of allowing me to pick who I will take with me or allow me a day to gather myself, say goodbye, anything normal when sent to a new community. She is packing me up with nothing in the middle of the night and sending me with a touched girl.   “I am Soraya of Rain. Mees…you are of Bloom.” I whisper. I feel her confusion, deep in my soul I feel my demon distaste but she remains below. “Everyone deserves a name.” Her hands still for a moment. Hands lift me from the floor and begin to undress me. Everything feels like it is moving too fast as they throw my clothing into the fire. One small blonde girl, no older than twelve sets a pair of blood red pumps on the stool in front of me. My stomach curdles deep within as I watch her. My demon snarls lowly. How could a man defile such a little girl? How could he do such a thing…fully knowing what pain he will put her through for her entire life. The little girl meets my eyes before flinching and running away. My anger melts away, my anger probably scared her. “Why did you name me, Soraya of Rain.” She whispers softly. Touched are not allowed to speak. For a moment I pray that only the girls here are listening to her disobedience. I wouldn’t want her killed. “You are fallowing me to a new community. No one will know that you are Touched. We both get a new beginning. We both shall bloom.” I see the pain in her heart. Touched do not speak, nor have any rights in the community. They are the lowest of low. But she is not at the age that would be taken. “My name is of Rain, I was born to put out the fire. I was born to wash the world of pain.” Two girls begin to pull my hair up as the others begin to wash me. The smell of the bane burns my nose. I must not smell of my home. Mees leaves my sight and returns with a black dress.   “let us bring a new beginning…Soraya of Rain” Mees Whispers. I nod as I slip the silk over my head. A car awaits outside. The darkness of night is where i go.