How did I get here

heart broken

I ended up on a private part of beeline highway, he wanted them to kill me, they stood up to him for the first time, and said, this is our girl, if you want her gone, you do it. I no longer had any tears left to cry for him, he said cry repeatedly, I couldn't, I just wanted it to be over, he made me do. things that I should have never had to do. I knew to much about him and his business, he even left me in jail for thirty days to see if i was going to tell anything, he different accept my call, no canteen, I was just f**k me. Finally the creep sent his lawyer to come get me. I had to get away from him,. So finally what broke the camels back was I ended up pregnant and he was happy, two months later he beat me so bad that he broke my jaw and killed my unborn baby. As the hospital nurse and doctor asked me who did this, I immediately said I fell down the stairs, they knew I was lying, this the fourth time I had been there beaten by him. He had done some many things to me. that's how I ended up on beeline almost about to die. when it all came down to it, he could do it, but he did leave me out there to find my way but, the only statement he made before he left was for me to keep G like I always have, his business is, he his business. So this how I ended up with the creep from church, one day I go to buy liquor, but I am to young, guess who walks in, Buster, I come to find out that buster also sales drugs and that he is a gun toting maniac, and he tried to beat me, but that was over for me, so I ended up cutting him one, I tried to run us off the highway, he was a ladies man, he had the money, he he spent it, I ended up pregnant, I did not want to be and I didn't want him to be the father. I broke it off, he moved to Tallahassee and I was here, he would call and check up on me. when I went to deliver he came, but cursed him out so bad, he left., Jeremy has entered the world. I ended up having 5 kids and taking care of nine, I always had good jobs to cover what I was doing. I started going back to church, I would go constantly for a while then I would stop going, my mind was telling me that I was playing with God. I would still send the kids.

I ended up getting married I didn't love him, I was trying to prove a point to people who said I would never get married, my grand dad didn't come, because he said it wouldn't last, because it was going to take a special type of guy to be with me. and 5 months later while he was in the hospital, unpack up his things and went and bought another, I put 500 in the console, but he had to go, Now he is in Sanford, orlando area with his girlfriend who he was messing around on me with, sometimes men needntonbe careful, what did she do, she put the phone in her name, stupid, so that was the finally straw, especially after i had to talk to detectives about sombody stealing the lying punks money, so once he moved, the card which the bank replaced with the money on it came a day before his moved change went through, When I say he made me the happiest wife ever. I went and got another truck with rims, I had a house full of people, I would leave the other keys to the other two trucks, and money for them to do them. And I would be on the road making money, I didn't know how to be a mother, I only knew how to be a provider. I got caught up in another shooting, I ran from the people for a year. then I get this boyfriend Named Carlos , who was a tall dark, muscle man with the prettiest teeth ever, he was my Idris alba, who decides to want to answer the door because someone is knocking on the door at 6 o'clock in the morning. All I hear is set outside sir.

Cacia this palm Beach county sheriff's office, we need you to come outside with your hands up. I followed there commands, now I am in the cell, and the end of what they came for, I was set free after ten days. Carlos was there to pick me up.

Things started to pick up within my life, I started back going to church, I was working, they kids were happy and so was me and Carlos.

The first five years of our relationship we were like Bonnie and Clyde unseparatedable. You couldn't tell me nothing about this man.

the Next five years became hell on wheels. who was this man becoming, He started lying for no reason, he was back to his old way, so many people was in his ear, because he was sitting back trying to to be a family man, and all they wanted was the reckless Carlos, the infamous gangster to tear these streets up.I was holding him back from his old llife. and the people who want to see him destroyed. Even though he loved me, he was madly in love with the other girl which was cocaine. it was over for me I was hurt, I assumed if I just showed him real love I could change the cycle. the cycle changed my life, So once again my heart has been destroyed, what is it that I am doing wrong I asked myself, as I started to go into a deep depression once again. God God sent me an guardian angel to help me through this part of my journey. My pastor, from theshootem up bang bang coroner as she always called it.