Birdgirl

9 - You and Me: Then and Again

Lia watched as Kensi slowly made her way to the crowd. Now more than ever, Kensi's feelings for Lia had never been clearer. It was easier to ignore it when she didn't blatantly hear it from the older girl but since she has heard it from her lips in her painfully sexy raspy voice, there was no use pretending anymore.

The brown of Lia's eyes remained attached to Kensi's body until it was consumed by the sea of dancing teenagers. Somehow, she was sent back to that one day when she was sitting on the front steps of their house. She was fourteen years old at the time and was watching Kensi get in her mother's car after spending the afternoon together. It was in October and the humid breeze had slightly begun to cool down. The green-eyed girl was in her freshman year of high school then while Lia was stuck in her last year of middle school.

"Can you introduce me to your friend?" Then fifteen-year-old, Duke asked, walking towards Lia with his hands inside the pockets of his soccer shorts. His blue and white striped soccer sandals drug softly against the grassy ground.

The boy was fresh from a friendly game of soccer he frequented with the other kids in the neighborhood. He had become a couple of shades darker while his spiky light brown hair looked very sticky. He often comes home in that state and it was some sort of a signal for Lia to tell where the boy came from.

Duke's feet feel liberated when he's wearing the unflattering sandals. The brunette was just happy he does not wear socks with them.

Lia adjusted her gaze towards the direction of the boy, to her right, where his house is. She flashed him a small smile with a timid wave and then scooted to her left to make room for her childhood friend.

"Who?" She feigned ignorance for an underlying reason she was not willing to admit.

However, she was thinking whether or not she was okay with sharing Kensi with him, or with anyone for the matter. It had just been an inexplicably beautiful feeling to be around the green-eyed girl. It had only been a year since they became friends but they had been like Siamese twins. Lia may have become closer to Kensi than she was with Duke given that the girl had ways to get the middle schooler to talk her feelings out.

"Kensi." Duke responded, grunting as he sat. "She goes to Palm Grove High now, right? She and I have a class together and I've been meaning to talk to her."

"Why?"

The blue-eyed boy shrugged. "I want to get to know her. She seems interesting. Her smile is just...oh, man, I can't explain it." He gushed, smiling as he thought of Kensi and her coveted grin. "That's okay with you, right? Because if you're not comfortable with it, I'll understand. Do you...I don't know, like her?"

Like the other three boys, Duke suspected Lia of liking the green-eyed girl. The hand-holding, lingering stares and innocent yet delicate kisses all over the face but the lips were just too flagrant to ignore. But Duke had always taken Lia's words as they are, trusting the younger girl completely without question. It was a flaw that was advantageous to Lia.

She was about to deny his insinuations, thinking her and Kensi's interactions were nothing more than friendship. However, Lia's heart didn't seem to agree. It fueled her thoughts to run wild and brought her to the memory of her first kiss which happened to be shared with Kensi less than a year prior.

"Casey? Hello..." Duke probed, waving his palm in front of the younger girl. "Are you okay?"

Lia shook her head, mustering an unconvincing smile. "N-No, yeah. Yeah, I will introduce you to her."

"Are you sure? It's completely okay if you don't, honestly. I promise" He raised his hand up by his face, showing an oath. "You know your feelings come first to me."

The younger girl ended up chuckling at her friend. Duke seemed very eager yet very sincere which Lia took as a good sign. She was his priority while Lia's was Kensi, and to keep the green-eyed from people who didn't care about her as much as Lia did, which was a very high bar to match. She did not want to be the catalyst of her pain, no matter how small and insignificant.

Lia did introduce them eventually around November of that year but Duke never verbally expressed his interest in the green-eyed girl until their sophomore year. Despite the confession, that didn't mean he got anywhere with Kensi. The girl just did not seem to be interested in him. In fact, as Lia said, she did help him win Kensi.

To that day, the younger girl could still see how Duke's face gleamed in excitement. Whether she would admit it or not, it stung Lia's heart relentlessly but she had fought to suppress the feeling. She just couldn't let her feelings take control given that she and Kensi were just friends.

While Lia just stood there, aimlessly staring at the spot that devoured Kensi's body, the boys had a different idea. They were howling and celebrating the green-eyed girl's boldness and what her words meant.

"That was intense, son!" Trevor bellowed, grabbing the other two boys by the shirt as his smile was as wide as can be.

"What did I tell you losers?" Ice pushed him roughly, scrambling to stand up. "That was piping hot!"

"This is where you follow her, Casey." Landon instructed as soon as he untangled himself from the mess that was his brother and teammate, tapping the younger girl's shoulder as he gave her a cup of what appeared to be vodka for courage.

Lia had not consumed alcohol since the Friday night that Kensi asked her not to. She was contemplating on drinking the clear content of her red solo cup. The brown-eyed brunette watched as she made a small whirlpool within the small plastic cup with the circular motions of her hand.

Kensi didn't understand why she was aggravated. Why was it so infuriating to know that her best friend's friends were plotting something to get them both together when that was what she wanted? Maybe she felt inadequate, maybe it was because the words came from Ice, or maybe because Lia looked mortified when Kensi practically confessed her fatal attraction.

"Are you okay?" Janiah spoke, leaning close to Kensi's ear when she noticed the younger girl just standing there while she, Amber and Diana were essentially leaping while haphazardly flailing their arms about.

"Do you want to sit somewhere?" Diana asked with concern apparent in her tone, Amber nodding in agreement.

Sitting somewhere was Kensi's least priority. In a large, spacious gazebo in its natural wood color, to the far right of the wide backyard, were cheerleaders, including Melissa. Sure enough, they were drinking and well, doing body shots. The green-eyed girl thought she needed a drink. She was on edge and she wanted to "loosen up", just like Lia had suggested that afternoon and if loosening up was adding alcohol into her veins then she was getting there.

Lia and her boys dissipated in search for Kensi, spreading out into the vast backyard. With phones and drinks in tow, they spread out to cover more space. They combed through every drunk and sober teenager, every couple making out, and every huddled groups. It was a tedious task that the band of four knew needed as much effort with the clearest mind.

Fifteen minutes later or so, Lia was still unable to locate Kensi. Her section was to the far right of the entire backyard and so far, she has had beer spilled over her arm and her shirt, not to mention the perspiration from numerous sources rubbing against her skin. And then, there were the splatters of chlorine-diluted water from the pool. She may or may not have had three shots of vodka, too, just in case her inhibitions needed some trimming.

The three other guys have not had luck finding Kensi either. They were just looking in the wrong places.

Lia's shorter stature than the towering three had proven to be a disadvantage. She decided on looking for a chair instead. The added foot and a half was necessary and Lia would just have to worry about soiling the white cushion another day when all of her cognizance, at least, what was left of it was set on finding Kensi.

And when she did, she could not understand if she should be glad that she found Kensi because she was right there, drinking with the cheerleaders.

The world spun before Lia's eyes as she descended from the chair, causing her to tip towards one side but managed to steady her footing before completely falling over. Her alcohol tolerance had not been stellar since skipping out on the drinks. She wasn't thinking straight when she downed the fourth shot of the clear alcohol in her hand before practically sprinting towards Kensi.

Lia braved through the significantly colder breeze which was due to the warmth awarded to her by the alcohol. She was dizzy and swift movements harassed her painful head. She defied her already compromised balance and successfully made it to the older girl's side.

She wasn't nervous though and that's a plus. But it was that senseless confidence that might just get her in trouble.

"What was that?" Lia asked suspiciously, pulling Kensi aside by the wrist with great difficulty. She was gentle but ungainly. “Tell me to my face. I don’t want a snide comment.”

They never made it that far though. The younger girl had only managed to bring her friend some three, four steps farther from the group. Most of the cheerleaders were out of it. Janiah, Amber and Diana were the only sober ones, including Kensi - they were barely done with their cups of beer. Kensi wasn’t a fan of it, the froth and the bitter taste just didn’t sit well with her, barely able to swallow a gulp.

Kensi could instantly tell Lia was a drink away from inebriation. Lia's lids were slightly parted and her brown eyes looked glossy while her cheeks were flushed. Her breath reeked of alcohol, not to mention the beer-stained shirt and arm. The younger girl's speech is usually the last to be claimed by the monster that is intoxication but would noticeably take longer to pronounce a sentence and mumble to herself frequently. A lot of times, she just becomes an extremely talkative child.

Kensi did not like it. She grew angrier but the rage was aimed at herself. If she had not left Lia alone, she could have stopped the girl from drinking more. The green-eyed girl wanted to blame the other three guys but seeing as they were not by her side, the only person left was her. She huffed in frustration, running her hand through her hair.

"What was what?" She feigned ignorance yet her tone of voice was antagonistic.

Lia dropped her shoulders in defeat, looking at her friend imploringly. "Kensi."

"It's whatever you want it to be."

"But-"

"No buts. Just let it be.” Kensi insisted, scowling at the younger girl. She threw her hands out, slushing the beer she held in one hand haphazardly. "You can pretend it never happened, that's fine by me." Her sarcasm was blatant that her entire demeanor exuded it.

The brown-eyed girl shook her head aimlessly, causing her vision to spin. She grabbed onto Kensi's shoulders to steady herself as she furiously blinked her hazy eyes but didn’t make significant difference. Lia looked like a disoriented baby giraffe that had just been born and even standing on her own two feet seemed like an impossible feat. She lazily lifted her index finger, desperately trying to focus her gaze on Kensi but to no avail.

But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try.

"I know we never talked about this and we should have.” She took a breath, squeezing her eyes shut another time. “But you just got out of a relationship. I’m not trying to be rude but you can’t possibly have feelings for two people."

Kensi scoffed, tossing the cup to the side. She planted her hands on either side of Lia's face, fervently looking into her half-exposed brown eyes despite knowing her friend might not remember everything in the morning. At that moment, she was mostly annoyed that she could not even stay angry at Lia.

"I'm not throwing myself at just any guy, or any girl, Lia. And I’m not even throwing myself at you. But that’s not the point." She reasoned, frowning at the words she was hearing from Lia. It rubbed her the wrong way even if she knew it wasn’t her friend’s intentions. "If you're worried about the three-month rule, I'm past that. Besides, you and I both know there's something between us. And that something has been there for years, well before Duke was even in the picture. Even your friends can see that."

"But Duke-"

Kensi has had about enough hearing her ex-boyfriend's name come from Lia's mouth. She hated it even more that he is enough of a reason for the younger girl when in reality it was not adequate anymore. The guy had transcended to a better place and he could not stop any progression that would occur between the two girls even if he wanted to.

"I know! I know!" The green-eyed girl grumbled, stepping away from her friend as she felt the air that both of them were breathing wouldn't suffice. Her chest seemed to have been inundated with so much stress, crowding her heart and lungs. She lifted her hands up, tangling them in her hair. "You care about what he'd think. You cared about him. He was your brother. That's why I said you can pretend that never happened."

From the sidelines, Kensi's friends were watching intently. They were too engrossed in the two girls' exchange that even the raunchiest little stunts pulled by their cheerleading team didn't match how riveting Kensi and Lia's conversation was. All three girls were desperately trying to read their lips as their voices were no match for the blaring party music and uninhibited party goers.

Amber and Janiah, who knew of Kensi's feelings for Lia, silently worried for their friend. They were unable to move from their place, stiff and clinging onto each other. It wasn't their place to interfere.

Lia groaned. She squeezed her eyes shut, dropping her head backwards in protest. Concealing her eyes seemed to have helped her dwindling consciousness. She forcefully pointed to her chest, jabbing her index finger on it.

"I cannot just un-hear what I heard, Kensi, or un-kiss who I kissed. That’s not how this thing works." She reasoned despite herself. “You say something and you can’t take it back. You do something and there may be a way to change it but it won’t undo it.” Her hand went up to her temples, squeezing it as an ache hit her like a lightning bolt. “What am I even saying?”

"So, I'm repeating it." Kensi angrily countered, her fury spurring her on. She hurried back to Lia, creating a whiplash of air to hit the younger girl. Her hard stare was intense that the dazed girl in front of her widened her eyes. "You. Have. Always. Had. Me. Now, do something about it!"

Kensi was practically offering her heart to Lia on a silver platter. She was laying everything on the line and rendering herself vulnerable. She was exposing herself to rejection and being the guarded person that she is, that was one hell of a move.

Lia hung her head low, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.

"Now, you're the one that's compensating."

"Excuse me?" The green-eyed girl scoffed, affronted by Callie’s statement. Her friend's words seemed like a foul blow to the gut and it was excruciating but it made her fight harder. "Look at me, Lia. Damn it! Look at me." She ordered austerely and she was not taking "no" for an answer.

The younger girl timidly lifted her head up - barely able to keep her eyes peeled which reminded Kensi of her remorse. It wasn't her fault. It was never her responsibility to keep an eye on Lia. She just felt obligated to. But that was what people do for the ones they love.

Why did she even have to walk off?

"There were so many points in my grief that I could not stand anybody else's company, not even my family. But you, I loved it when you were there. I always have. And as much as my guilt made me want to distance myself from you, my heart wouldn’t let me and the rest of me agreed." Tears brimmed Kensi's eyes as she came face to face with the possibility of rejection. She felt so useless and the muddle of emotions that plagued her heart, wrung her dry. The tightness on her throat and the weight on her shoulders weakened her.

"Lia, I know you can tell if I'm lying - if I'm just compensating like you’re telling me. We kissed almost four years ago and if you can recall, we both wanted it. I know I kissed you but you were right there, pulling me to you. Damn it, Lia! We were inseparable since. Hell, we were inseparable before that! I never felt awkward and I'm assuming you didn't either because you still held me like you used to. And if you're worried who got to who first, it was you who got to me first. And even if I met Duke before I met you, I would have still chosen you. Don’t you get it, Lia? There was never even a choice to make. There was just you for me."

Kensi took the biggest gulp of her as she lifted her clenched fists by her chest, unsure what to do with them. Her entire body was a warzone and all the bombs and bullets were aimed at her apprehensive heart. She flexed her hands repeatedly until she moved to entangle both hands to Lia's.

"Tell me you didn't feel this in middle school." She probed rhetorically - her voice laced with noticeable despair. "Tell me you don't feel it right now and I will leave you alone."

Lia's soul just about left her body when she felt Kensi's hands on hers. An adrenaline rush temporarily relieved her of her alcohol impairment - pulling her back to the world just enough. Diminutive beads of sweat began grazing her forehead from the overwhelming provocation on her chest.

Nostalgia abruptly transported her back to the very first time they held each other's hands and she knew, in her alcohol-filled system, that was how it started for her. It was when the younger girl knew she liked her friend. Nothing else ever hurt and soothed her hand simultaneously.

Lia could, in fact, feel it. She could feel the powerful jolts of electricity that sent sparks flying. She could feel the pesky little insects flapping their colorful wings about in her stomach. She could feel her heart speed up just after it skipped a beat or two. The younger girl's eyes widened -as wide as her droopy lids could go while her chocolate irises spoke of the shockwave that rocked her body. She was suddenly robbed of her ability to speak.

"Equinox." She inaudibly whispered - the boisterous sound of the surroundings further drowning her hushed voice.

Lia could feel it she would be damned if she tried to deny it.

"The look in your eyes says that you do and I know it's hard to process this because believe me, I've been there. But apparently, you were too confused to acknowledge my feelings for you that you even helped Duke ask me out. I thought I could do it to make you jealous but you just encouraged me to be with him. You don't have to worry about Jeremy, the guys, or any other people anymore because you know the truth. I didn't just recently develop a liking for you. I liked you right off the bat. Lia, I've always liked you." Kensi held Lia's hand tighter. Confessing her feelings gave her a slight relief of the burden she was carrying. It never lulled her heavy heart that yearned for the girl before her but it was a needed reprieve.

"Equinox." Lia repeatedly mumbled - her voice hushed and low, barely audible. She seemed to have been in a daze as she stared blankly at Kensi.

"Lia," Kensi let go of Lia's hand, lifting her right hand to tap the younger girl's cheek lightly, coaxing her to stay with her. She was not willing to give up just yet. "Think back on how we met. Come on." She insisted with urgency. Whatever hope she was holding on to was quickly fleeting. "Remember you had to return my book back to me and yours was with me? They were completely different books. Hell, they didn't come in the same size or color, but I switched them on purpose so you would have to talk to me. And I never knew if you were ever interested in me so I thought I'd rather have you as a friend than nothing at all. But it's been harder to just stay your friend when I want more."

Lia shook her head, sealing her eyes to avoid another taste of vertigo. She opened and closed her mouth but nothing was coming out of it. She didn't seem to be forming coherent enough thoughts but "equinox" and "Duke". The younger girl was overwhelmed but Kensi's heart was slowly breaking and she knew what Lia was thinking -at least, half of it.

"Duke? It's Duke again, isn't it?" Kensi set her hand on her forehead as her fingers dug in her temples. She sighed heavily, knowing she would be hurting her ex-boyfriend's best friend. She dropped her hand limply, hitting her leg in the process. "Duke was my compensation, Lia - not you. He was my train out of my misery and fear of rejection. I figured I didn't want to suffer through a heartbreak and I wanted to avoid it altogether. I was not willing to come out - not until I knew you liked me back and I had a feeling you didn't. I know it's horrible that I used him to forget about you. I loved him eventually but nothing could suppress my feelings for you."

"I-I d...don't understand." The younger girl warily muttered, her eyes gleamed of confusion.

She always thought Kensi was happy with Duke and she was the only one who thought so. She knew the boy loved the girl. However, Kensi had the brightest of smiles every time Lia handed her "Duke's" presents which were usually her idea. In reality, Kensi had always just seen them as Lia's presents and not the soccer jock's.

"Can't you tell? I was bound to leave him for you if you only said something." The green-eyed girl hopelessly clarified -attaching her hands in the depths of her long dark hair. "I was practically yours. No, I was earnestly and utterly yours -you only had to claim me." She slumped her shoulders down, tilting her head backwards to coax her tears from flowing.

Lia was too stunned to speak. She desperately tried to piece puzzles together amid her alcohol-induced bloodstream. She took too much liquid courage - she didn't just lose her inhibitions, she lost her senses.

Kensi groaned. A tear slid down her cheek and she was quick to wipe it dry. "God, you frustrate me so much sometimes!" She dropped her case, dropping every ounce of hope she had at the same time. The green-eyed girl just wanted to get out of the situation then.

"Let's just talk when you're sober."

Kensi walked away - not willing to let Lia see her cry. The excessive moisture in her eyes that blurred her vision was just about to fall when she turned her back on her friend. The first step she took was the hardest and there was no stopping those salty droplets anymore.

The younger girl was about to go after her when Melissa came stumbling towards her, bearing a half-empty bottle of tequila and a horrendously wide smile.

"Do you need a drink?"

Lia snatched the bottle from her, scowling at the cheerleader. "f**k off, Melissa!"

"Kensi! Kensi Lancaster, you come back here this instant!" The brown-eyed brunette yelled begrudgingly. She trudged through the flat, grassy lawn with an unimpeachable struggle. "Kensi!"

Kensi picked up her pace and ran - creating a wider distance from her friend. There was no way Lia could run after the green-eyed girl in her disoriented state despite her strong, track and field-trained legs but she tried anyway. Lia came to an abrupt stop, breathing heavily. She doubled over, resting one hand on her knee as the other was occupied by the bottle of alcohol.

Janiah and Amber ran after Kensi with ease. They were able to reach Kensi in no time. Diana trailed behind and was left with Lia, holding the girl upright. Diana attempted to take the alcoholic beverage from Lia but was unsuccessful. It only earned her an infuriated glare.

"I would appreciate the extra training any other day but will you stop running away from me?" Lia bellowed despite Kensi's inability to hear her. She guzzled the tequila, gulping mouthfuls at a time. She squeezed her eyes shut as the strong taste and aroma travelled down her throat, burning everything in its path. "If you recall, I never walked out after you kissed me! I'm trying to understand all these information in my head because I wanted to be sure that if I say something, I would have felt enough or have had enough conviction and I would not regret it!"

Lia could feel a sting in her chest as she watched Kensi disappear once more. It was hurting more than ever. She would always feel incomplete in all those times she watched Kensi walk away from her, but in that moment, she became nothing but an insignificant entity that existed without purpose.

Before Diana could do anything, Lia was on her way to the other side of the backyard. She wanted to be alone and the dimly lit fish pond seemed to be the only place without another person in sight. The younger girl wobbled her way towards the area, holding onto people and inanimate objects alike to keep herself from stumbling to the ground. She occasionally threw her head back to take a swig of tequila she never once let go of, unlike Kensi.

Amber quickly pulled Kensi to her chest, holding the sniveling girl close. Janiah engulfed both girls in her arms, standing to her friends' sides with Amber adjusting to include the oldest girl in the embrace. They were genuinely concerned for their friend, especially because they have never seen Kensi and Lia fight.

"I...d-don't think she...she feels the same way." Kensi mumbled, sobbing harder. The weight of her words pushed her further into a gaping hole of misery. "She's just...just s-so worried about Duke."

"She's just confused, Kens." Janiah cooed - pulling away to fix the green-eyed girl's disheveled hair. "You know that's the truth. You know her better than any of us."

"Of course, she's confused!" Kensi mockingly snickered, her smile looked utterly eerie. "She's f*****g drunk!"

"That's her fault." Amber assured her, tracing random shapes on Kensi’s lower back soothingly. "I find it hard to believe she's the renowned wingman with the impeccable record but can't get a grip with her own romantic life."

"The irony of it all." Janiah began chuckling softly, pondering on Amber's words.

She was uncertain if her laugh was appropriate for the desolate little huddle but could not help it. Amber quickly caught a whiff of the released laughing gas, chuckling along with Janiah. A tug at Kensi's lips revealed a small, adorable smile, knowing Amber was speaking the truth.

"What happened? Where's Lia?" Janiah face dropped, suddenly asked the girl that appeared before her eyes.

The two other girls curiously followed her line of sight, finding Diana panting with brows forming an arch over her wary eyes.

The oldest girl of the group shook her head, breathing through her gaped mouth. "I don't know but she brought tequila along with her." She swallowed hard. "She might do something stupid."

Kensi's weary heart couldn't get heavier and her stomach created a ruckus, spiking bile up to her mouth. She furiously wiped her cheeks dry, taking a deep breath while drenching her dehydrated mouth. She couldn't let the thought of Lia going around, randomly hooking up with strangers.

"I have to find her."

The girls went on their own search, this time, looking for Lia. Kensi began calling the younger girl's phone but kept getting sent to voicemail. The possibility of people taking advantage of an intoxicated Lia worried her to no end. She felt cold being cradled in the arms of fear. Kensi wouldn't forgive herself if something happened to her best friend.

Lia had finished the bottle of tequila in less than half an hour. The strong, overwhelming aroma slowly diminished with each gulp she took. Each dose pushed her deeper into intoxication. And when Lia is drunk, she will not run out of words to slur and an endless supply of giggles to last a year.

With poor judgment clouding her usually composed demeanor, Lia leaned over the river stone wall that encased the man-made pond. She was reaching for the fishes that seemed to not want anything to do with her. She continuously tapped on the water, making ripples and giggling to herself.

"Lia."

The familiar voice boomed in the mostly quiet area, causing the younger girl to jump towards the pond with her face barely an inch away from the water. Lia began to giggle profusely after the shock dissipated, clutching her chest as she pushed herself to safety. She swiveled in her place, sliding down the two-foot stone wall. She sat on the ground, sprawling her legs.

Lia lifted her gaze to see an unimpressed older girl who was barely keeping her serious expression. It was pretty funny even if Kensi tried to deny it.

"Did you see that?" The brown-eyed girl proudly mumbled in between her laughing fit. "I almost kissed the ocean."

Kensi slapped her forehead with her palm at the idiotic yet humorous statement. She continuously shook her head condescendingly, mostly for herself given that she could not even hold her annoyed look. To her advantage, Lia's perception had been clouded. It didn't matter if the green-eyed girl would let go and laugh, that wouldn't make a difference.

"Why are you standing like that? You're...tilted." Lia furrowed her brows, narrowing her eyes while she tilted her head in the opposite direction. "Maybe you should sit down. You're about to fall down." Her vision was playing with her. All she could see was a smudged version of the girl in front of her which was apparently skewed.

"Stand up." The green-eyed girl huffed in frustration - brushing her hair back with her hand. She knew what she had to do. "Let's get you to bed."

She helped Lia up to her feet, the younger girl giggling when she almost tipped over. However, her expression swiftly changed. Lia looked alarmed, widening her eyes in fear. She turned to face Kensi, pressing their bodies firmly.

"My bed? But my parents will know." The younger girl whispered, at least that what she thought. Her voice was conspicuously loud. She lifted her index finger, pressing it against her lips. "Shh...They don't know I drink. I will be in trouble."

Kensi could not help but chuckle, slowly letting go of her anger. It was something that they would definitely laugh about in the future. She threw Lia's arm over her shoulder before the green-eyed girl slung her left arm behind the younger girl's knees while her right was positioned behind Lia's upper back. Kensi slowly walked across the backyard towards the back door of the house, thanking the heavens Lia was alright.

"Hi Kensi." Lia muttered when the noise became more distant, watching the older girl intently while smiling like an innocent little dog.

They were finally in the confines of the luxury home. Kensi was taking them to the left wing, to where their shared room is. She was careful not to make too much tremors with each step she took, so as not to hurt the younger girl's aching head further.

She looked down at Lia, grinning. "Hello Lia."

The brown-eyed brunette reach to place her hand on Kensi's cheek, haphazardly running a thumb against her friend's skin. "You're pretty, baby."

Kensi's knees weakened at the complement as her chest swelled of adoration. Lia had never been that drunk and had not necessarily said anything she would instantly regret in the morning. Sure, she had recited the entire "Pledge of Allegiance" in several occasions, even singing the National Anthem but she has never really said anything of importance.

There may be something good that came out of the whole ordeal -Lia's unrestrained words, her feelings. Kensi could use Lia's intoxication to her advantage.

"You are, too, babe."

"I am?" Lia looked genuinely surprised, squirming slightly to lift her head up. She swung her arms around Kensi. "No. No, you are. Why are your eyes like that? They're green like a leprechaun." She shook her head, disagreeing with herself but ended up squeezing her eyes shut as her vision was flooded with non-existent stars. "Better than a leprechaun."

"Leprechaun." Kensi repeated, chuckling. Of all the similes Lia could think of, she picked an Irish mythical creature. She leaned down to plant a loving kiss on her friend's forehead. "I don't know. Why are yours brown?" She played along, curious as to where the conversation was going.

"They wanted to be brown." The younger girl answered with conviction, furrowing her brows as if she caught something intriguing.

Kensi pursed her lips as she raised her eyes, humming inquisitively. She nodded anyway, agreeing with Lia as she found no words to refute her claim.

It took her some time to pry the door open with Lia in her arms but she eventually managed to, bending her knees and tilting her body slightly. Kensi kicked the door close of their heavily decorated room, the entire space was adorned with gold or gold-like lines and natural wood color.

Lia was happily clinging to the older girl while Kensi was setting her down to the queen-sized bed. She never let go of Kensi even when she was already flat on her back. Without much protest, the older girl laid down beside her, cuddling with Lia. She needed to sleep, too.

They both instinctively lifted a hand, Kensi's left and Lia's right to interlock them as they held each other. That had always been what they did when they snuggle to each other, the close proximity of their bodies never seemed to be adequate.

"You smell good." Lia mumbled, sniffing Kensi's chest before nuzzling her head between the older girl's mounds. She was incredibly relaxed and comfortable with her nostrils filled with Kensi's scent while her body was pressed firmly against the older girl's. "Soft, soft boobs."

Kensi let out an unbridled laugh, her torso shaking uncontrollably. She was not used to Lia acting that way. She knew an uptight, always in-control girl who has trouble letting the world spin by itself.

"Go to sleep, Lia." She instructed with a kiss to the Lia's forehead while tracing the younger girl's spine with her free hand.

"Kensi." Lia muttered, apparently having a different set of plans that didn't include a deep, relaxing slumber. Her voice had a deceptive ring to it. She seemed to be sober but she wasn't, just like all the other times she was drunk.

"Yes?"

"Are you single?"

To say Kensi was surprised is an understatement. She was baffled by the measly drunken question. She wasn't supposed to be that affected by it but she knew that it wasn't just a random question. It was brought about by their heated dialogue a couple of hours prior.

Despite the circumstances, Kensi was definitely curious.

"Technically, I am but I'm not available." She truthfully retorted, pertaining to her unavailability to other people.

"That's a shame." Lia casually rasped. She closed her eyes, seemingly unfazed by the conversation. She buried her head impossibly deeper into Kensi's chest.

"Why?"

"Nothing."

The answer bothered Kensi. She wanted to know more, just so she could mend her broken heart the slightest bit. However, she knew there wasn't much she could do to form a coherent and rational conversation with an intoxicated Lia whose eyes were getting heavier. She begrudgingly let the topic go, continuing the soothing motions of her hand against the younger girl's back.

"You wanna know a secret?" Lia excitedly asked out of the blue.

Kensi was on the edge of her seat, the question igniting her curiosity as her pulse sped up in suspense. She may not be prepared for a big revelation but she was willing to hear what the brown-eyed girl had to say.

Alas, Lia's words were as drunk as her.

"'Boobs' is a funny word." The younger girl giggled like a prepubescent boy. "Boobs." She mumbled in a hushed voice, as if contemplating on the most controversial topic of the world. She was quiet for a moment before slowly whispering, "Boobs."

It was then that Lia lost it. She laughed her heart out, lulling Kensi with the blissful sound despite the juvenile reason behind it. It didn't need much for both girls to feel the brightest glimmer of happiness, it's a simple equation, it being "Kensi + Lia".

Lia abruptly stopped, widening her eyes while lifting her head to look at her best friend. "You wanna know another secret?"

Kensi nodded, not necessarily as interested as she initially was but urged the younger girl to go on. She will always listen to what Lia is saying. She sees them as pure gold.

"I'm hungry."

The green-eyed girl puffed in amusement, rolling her eyes lightheartedly. "I'll get you something to eat."

She attempted to get up but was instantly pulled back to bed, Lia holding onto her for dear life. Her arms were circling Kensi's torso, gripping her tightly as if the older girl would disappear if her grasp faltered.

"Wait! One more secret," The younger girl abruptly said, smiling mischievously. "I want to pee."

Kensi laughed, thinking about how silly their conversation had become. The situation seemed to have elicited her laugh without end, slightly soothing her weary heart. She figured she could worry about her feelings another day -Lia needed her.

"Let me help you."

"I can do it." Lia proclaimed defiantly.

She sat up, slowly setting her legs one by one on the ground. She held onto Kensi's hand and the bed for balance. The first attempt at standing up, Lia was immediately sent back to bed, her bottom crashing forcefully against the malleable surface. The brown-eyed brunette was determined though. She tried and tried until she took the first wobbly step, giggling as she did so.

Given the instability, Kensi followed Lia as her friend made her short yet difficult journey to the bathroom. She stood close to her side, ready to hold her up in case she loses her balance again. Her concern appeared to be backed up with rationality when Lia didn't bother twisting the door knob open. Instead, charging straight for the white door until her face smashed with the timber structure, rocking her already painful head. The impact created an astounding bang that echoed through the room and the younger girl's skull.

Lia was sent back with the blow, stumbling backwards, to her shocked friend who caught her just in time. Her vision spun, prompting her to seal her eyes. The green-eyed girl could not decide whether she should laugh or be worried, or both. As it turned out, Kensi did laugh yet asked if her best friend was okay.

Lia never wakes up with a hangover, and she may be experiencing one the following morning given the collision.

"Ow." Lia complained, nursing the throbbing area on her head. The tremor had travelled all throughout her sensitive body, especially irritating her stomach. A commotion started to build up in her torso, prompting her to gag. She pleadingly looked up at Kensi. "I want to throw up instead. Peeing can wait, Kensi."

Just as she finished speaking, Lia slapped her hands over her mouth.

Kensi hurriedly took Lia to the toilet, keeping the younger girl's hair away from her face or the trajectory of the vomit. She rubbed Lia's back soothingly, holding her breath as the stench of digested food and acid filled the room.

The whole ordeal concluded with Lia wiping the back of her hand against her mouth, groaning. After flushing the toilet, Kensi led her dazed friend to the sink, filling the glass on the counter with water and instructed Lia to gargle. The younger girl did as told and reached for the mouthwash to rid her mouth of the bitter taste. She then leaned down, cupping the stream of water in one hand as she continually drank the tap water until she was satisfied.

"I want to go to bed now." Lia implored, frowning at Kensi. She held onto the counter for balance, unwilling to let go. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Kensi laughed softly, nodding. She expected Lia to be hungrier given the amount of bodily products she had just ejected but didn't protest anyway. The green-eyed girl assisted her friend back to bed. They assumed the same position, hands loosely intertwined after Kensi pulled the covers over them.

Kensi figured they could change their clothes the following day. Both of them were drained from the whole ordeal.

"Can you tell me something?" Kensi probed, drawing Lia closer to her.

"Equinox?" The younger girl simply said, happily burying her face to Kensi's chest while her friend's hand relaxingly stroked her hair.

"Not that." Kensi immediately dismissed. "I don't understand that. Tell me something else."

"Okay. You're beautiful, Kensi." Lia said resolutely, smiling contentedly.

"Not that either." The green-eyed brunette bashfully smiled as her pale cheeks gradually turned pink. Every fiber of her being was exultant - disintegrating her composure. Nothing compared to the words that come from Lia's mouth. "But thank you."

"I mean it."

"I know."

"Are you single?" Lia fearlessly yet casually asked again.

Kensi sighed, smiling delicately at her friend. The question still rocked her entire being but the green-eyed girl was ready with an answer. She planted another kiss on Lia's forehead, mumbling against her skin. "There's this girl who holds my heart."

"Oh."

"Lia, when are you going to tell me I was dating you the whole time?" The green-eyed girl decided she wanted to know about that little detail.

Throughout her relationship with the soccer center-forward, Duke had been spot on with his presents and little sweet gestures. Kensi knew the guy couldn't be perfect despite how immaculate their peers saw him. The biggest flaw of that master plan: the green-eyed girl knew who she told those likes and dislikes to and who she spent the most time with.

"What?" Lia swiftly pulled her head up and incredulously looked at Kensi like she was crazy. Expelling her alcohol muddled fluids and replenishing her system with water slowly pulled her back to sobriety but it didn't come soon enough. "But those were not my lips, my hands, my limbs, or any parts of my body that touched yours."

"It was your heart though." Kensi countered - smiling adoringly at Lia's stupor. "You who wrote the love letters, didn't you?"

"I helped him." The younger girl timidly admitted.

The green-eyed girl huffed, unsure if she was happy or sad with the confirmation. She knew those were Lia's words but the end note always said a different name. Duke had practically claimed a lot of things, ideas, words, and maybe emotions that weren't his.

"I've been reading the things you write and hearing the words you say. I could spot something if it came from that oversized brain of yours." Kensi lightheartedly chastised.

Lia didn't answer her after that. Instead, she nodded. Silence dwelt in the confines of the room and Kensi was left with her despondent thoughts. All the fun and games had dissipated and she was left with the haunting thought of unrequited love. Maybe she should have let herself love Duke deeper -love him more than she loved Lia. But the soccer jock passed away. Either way - she would have still been left with a broken heart.

The only but most important difference would be if she chose courage, chased her happiness and pursued Lia or chose weakness and go with the safe option of staying with Duke, compensating.

"Good night, Kensi." Lia sleepily mumbled, lingering in the calming hands of slumber.

"Good night, Lia."

Kensi heard her best friend take a deep breath and didn't think much of it. She figured Lia was finally relenting and allowing sleep to steal her for the night. The green-eyed girl adjusted, finding a comfortable position on the pillow to rest her tired head.

There was stillness once again but Lia had one more thing to say.

"Equinox. I've been in love with you since we kissed that Equinox."