Birdgirl

2 - Because I Promised

It was well past two in the morning when Lia came home from her appointment. She kicked her lace-up brown leather boots by the door and dragged her feet up the stairs and into her room. She went about her nightly routine with ample difficulty getting in and out of her clothes, and concluded it face planting on her bed, groaning in pain and satisfaction.

In the darkness, she buried her face in the pillow, drowning in the soothing chill of the sheets as she stubbornly ignored the soreness in her arm and back. It had been a long day. She was beginning to drift off to inevitable unconsciousness when her phone rang, prompting a groan to float from her closed lips.

Throughout the night, she’d been getting numerous phone calls and messages from her friends. The last one she received was from Trevor, who was having a panic attack from his time with Amber, which she couldn’t understand why. But that was two hours ago and she hadn’t heard a word from him since.

She searched for the device, stretching as far as she could for the nightstand where it was charging. But the more her phone rang, the more irritated she grew, and the greeting she barked wasn’t welcoming in the least.

"Damn it. What is it now?" Lia sassed without checking who was calling, her face squished between her pillow and her phone. "Why can’t you guys take care of yourselves for tonight? I need sleep to survive tomorrow."

"I-I'm sorry." A nervous, rickety voice spoke at the end of the line.

And just like that, Lia was wide awake with a sharp intake of breath. She was well-acquainted with that raspy sound but the fear breaking every word she spoke was tugging at her gut. In an instant, her wandering mind drew up scenarios, each more frightening than the previous one.

It was inevitable that she was brought back to the start of the summer, when her world crumbled before her eyes.

When Kensi Lancaster cried rivers of tears.

And Lia could barely understand what she was saying over the phone but she would always find herself at her doorstep minutes later, ready to console her. But it had been a month since the last incident and she wondered what happened this time.

"Crap!" She grumbled under her breath, chastising herself for not checking who the caller was. She checked the time on her phone, cringing as the glaring light assaulted her vision. "Kensi? Is this you?" She winced at the stupid question but she’d already spoken before her mind could stop her, and if her head wasn’t already throbbing, she might have slapped a hand against her forehead.

"Yeah?" Kensi answered, uncertainty lifting her voice higher.

"I’m so sorry." Lia pushed herself up to sit and rest her back against the headboard, massaging her temples. She was careful not to press hard against the left side of her back. Remorse churned in her belly and she felt compelled to give a reasonable explanation for her unwarranted outburst. "I'm so sorry. You know the guys...they were being annoying."

"I heard." Kensi breathed an awkward chuckle that did not hide the displeasure of knowing Lia went to a party again. "I'm guessing this is a bad time? Who am I kidding? It's three. I'm sorry, Lia. I shouldn't have called you."

"No! No, no. No, Kens. It's okay. I promise, it is. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

For years, Lia had been enslaved by her fondness for Kensi after meeting in middle school, and the last three months just reinforced their bond. At least, that’s what she’d call it. A harmless fondness. She never acknowledged her quiet yet fatal attraction for her friend and was forced to stomp on it when Duke started showing interest.

But when Kensi needed her, she was there come hell or high water.

Perhaps, it was just poetic justice for superheroes to have a weakness.

And hers was Kensi.

Since the start of the summer, Kensi had been calling her every day without fail. That was unless she’d already had her captive. Not that her hostage was squirming or trying to get away. With each phone call, Kensi sounded calmer but there would be days when she’d be overcome with grief.

That was just life.

Pain comes and recedes like waves. Sometimes, they return with greater force, other times a quiet ripple.

And no matter its ferocity or gentleness, they were each other's strength.

"Can you come over?" Kensi asked, her voice subdued by her reticence.

"Sure." Lia exhaled her answer with relief, her affections blowing the singular word she uttered. Everything was fine. Kensi was alright. "Be there in ten. I promise."

They ended the call not long after. Lia yanked a sweatshirt from her closet and threw it on over her camisole before heading downstairs, clutching two sets of keys and her phone. She was just about to reach the front door when her father’s voice stopped her.

“Didn’t you just get in?” He asked from his place on the couch. It was a question embedded with worry and an unsteady reproach knowing that her first day of her senior year was tomorrow.

“Yeah.” She answered with a nod, only then realizing the television was on, the murmur from it barely noticeable.

“It’s late.”

“I have to go see Kensi.” She watched her father concede with a resigned huff at the name that she briefly wondered if he knew something she was not ready to admit.

“Do you have your keys with you?” He stood up and approached her as she jangled both sets of keys. “Alright. Text me when you get there. Don’t speed. Drive safe.”

“I will.”

She met him halfway and looped her arms around Eric, knowing what he wanted. He was careful not to squeeze too tight, knowing the tenderness of her skin but his grip was steadfast and secure just like his love for her.

-

Kensi waited by the hung sash window of her home, sitting on the quilt-covered rolled arm sofa. She rushed to the front door at the first sign of a pair of headlights streaming in, excitement surging in her veins. The sight of the silver Camry prompted respite to wash over her. She’d always been worried about Lia driving her bike at night. Most of the time, she suggested she take Eric’s truck.

"Let me guess," Kensi muttered with a toothy grin across her face, her weight resting on her right hand that was planted on the door frame. "Washington's car. Birdgirl duties?"

"Wingman extraordinaire, babe." Lia stepped out of the car with much bravado. She posed with hands lifted at her sides, chin raised as if she was expecting a round of applause.

It was only seconds later that she realized what she’d said. It was the abandoned nickname they stopped calling each other at the start of Kensi’s relationship. She recoiled, focusing on closing the door of the car and then locking it.

But Kensi simply waved a dismissive hand, soft laughter tumbling from her lips.

"Just come here."

Lia followed her in and up to her room after a brief hug.

She could recall all the times she was there, consoling a hysterical Kensi. She drew strength from her weakness, the only reason she got up in the morning. The pain in her chest was amplified with Kensi’s but Lia could not afford to lose control. She wouldn’t allow herself to.

In more instances than she could count, she had pushed her own feelings aside to tend to her friend's needs. She had forgotten she needed to cry, too. And with the way she was raised, her mother’s quiet strength and her father’s compelling control, Lia considered it a weakness.

Once was enough.

She sat at the edge of her bed, her gaze traveled around the beige walls she’d been in far too many times to count. She found new books sitting in the shelf by her desk, briefly wondering when Kensi got them. Her usually tidy desk was riddled with new notebooks and pens, and her knapsack hung over the chair.

The house was quiet at three in the morning. It wasn’t the usual ruckus during the day, when Kensi’s numerous siblings were awake.

Lia adored the quiet of the night even when the only noise she could hear was the ones in her head.

"So, what's up?" She asked after firing a quick text to Eric just as she promised. She felt the bed dip before she noticed Kensi was sitting next to her.

"I just wanted to see you." Kensi shrugged, having no better reason to offer her but to Lia, it was more than enough. She swung her arms around her and pulled her in for a much tighter hug because her body could speak better than her mouth could. "I just missed you. A lot."

There was something so nerve-racking about having Kensi up close. With her chin on her shoulder, Lia could see the flecks of her disarming green eyes and she feared hers would give away a well-kept secret. But Kensi just stared right back at her, a small smile upon her lips and utter tranquility in her face.

But the way she looked at Lia, it looked like she was staring at her own slice of heaven.

"We saw each other yesterday and every day before that. You've literally been my entire summer. I'm not even exaggerating." Lia chuckled, resting her head against Kensi’s. But she would deny herself the opportunity to relish in the warmth of her arms. “In a few hours, we’d have bumped into each other at school. First day, remember?"

"Sorry." Kensi pulled away, taking her words as a form rejection. "I know you've been there for me through all of this and every other time since middle school. But I want to be there for you, too, Lia."

There was some sort of pleading in her tone that pinged in Lia’s ears. And before she could speak a word, Kensi was up and rummaging through the drawers of her desk. She swipt this away, tugged that close searching for a particular thing. Lia could see the moment she found it, eyes wide with glee.

"I knew what you were going to say." Kensi trotted back, hiding the object in her fist and Lia watched her with inquisitive eyes, hoping she’d elaborate. "You would have said 'No, Kensi. It's okay. Blah. Blah. Blah. I understand.'" She lowered her voice, making exaggerated expressions that left Lia amused. "Something like that."

“I don’t sound like that.”

“Just pretend that you do.” Kensi scolded, a stern finger pointed at Lia, who only laughed at her little frolic.

"What happened to the Kensi who just wanted to cuddle?"

It was a question that just flew from her unthinking mouth but she tried to tamper it with a smile tinged fear.

She could still remember holding her friend in that very bed while she whispered reassuring words, stroking her hair. Her clothes would be damp from the salty droplets that continuously flowed out of Kensi's eyes. She could still feel her sobs jolting Kensi’s shoulders in her bones.

"You happened. You, Lia." Kensi said without a hint of humor or uncertainty that Lia couldn’t look her in the eyes, afraid of what she’d find. “I'm going to be there for you, Lia Casey. I mean...I have always been but I want to be there for you more." She continued, determination surging in the tiniest of her veins. She took out the white twist tie she found on her table and reached for the younger girl's left hand. "I wanted there to be a symbol of my promise, something you can look at, something you can touch. Because I don’t want you to forget it. I don't have a ring or anything prepared, I figured this would do."

She wrapped the twist tie around Lia’s ring finger, the very one that symbolized undying and unceasing commitment.

And Kensi was not afraid of anything, even the glaring implication that it left Lia stunned.

"That's a promise, Lia." She stared into the bright brown eyes that stared back at her, nudging the hand she didn’t let go of. "I’m really happy that you came tonight and all the nights you did."

Lia looked down on the coiled white wire that embraced her slender finger with a stomach infested with butterflies, a heart that beat erratically and a mind that is desperately trying to comprehend the situation. She beamed down at the specific digit and looked up at Kensi with gentleness and love in her eyes.

"I promised, remember?"

They would spend the next few hours in Kensi’s bed, cuddled up to each other. Kensi’s head on Lia’s chest, an arm over her belly and their legs tangled. It was just like any other day they’ve held each other but something was off.

"Lia." Kensi gently spoke, running a finger over Lia's first tattoo like she always did. Only this time, she had to lift the black fabric that covered it before she could. "Are you cold or something?" She continued after hearing an inquisitive hum. "I think it's too hot in here and under the covers with this sweatshirt."

“I was cold when I left.” Lia pulled her back in her arms before she could pick out the lie in her eyes. She valiantly fought to stay as calm as possible, not giving any sort of minute hints of her trepidation. “Let’s just sleep. We only have two hours left before we have to get ready for school.”

Kensi feared the worst. She wondered if the invincible Birdgirl was crumbling before her eyes without her knowing it. Within a few seconds, she tried to recall if she saw any signs of distress but the only thing she could think of made her stomach sink, and she hoped she was wrong.

"Good night, babe. I love you." She mumbled against her skin with such affection, trying to remind her friend she cared about her.

"I love you, too." Lia retorted in a content sigh and that was enough for Kensi. She chose to ignore what her heart heard because those three words sounded different to her, almost as if Kensi was trying to tell her something more.

When morning came, Lia was on her side, facing the nightstand. She found the same porcelain lamp with gold linings and the shade adorned with tulips that Kensi had had since middle school. And when her gaze lowered, she was expecting to find the two framed pictures that sat there.

The first one was of her and Kensi in middle school, hugging each other at a school picnic with identical grins across their faces. She could still remember everything that went on that day, a special, delicate memory she refused to let go of. Because Kensi told her she was her very best friend after that shot was taken. It may be any other regular news to most people, but for a person who struggled to befriend girls, it was definitely an achievement for Lia.

But the small, absentminded smile that flickered upon her lips quickly vanished when she couldn’t locate the second picture. The one of a boy proudly wearing his soccer jersey in blue and gold.

It was gone just as he was.

And Lia wasn’t sure how to feel about that.