Professor C (camren)

16 - Jauregui (Part Two)

"It's done, dad." Lauren breathed contently, sealing her eyes momentarily as she did her best to savor her newfound and highly cherished freedom that early Sunday afternoon. "I've never been this happy in a while."

It hadn't quite sunk in yet but it had only been a couple of days since hearing the verdict in court that Lauren's cognizance somehow struggled to process everything. Truthfully, as soon as the worker left, she and Ida lingered by her office door just to stare at the name that had served as her brand for over twenty eight years.

And it was exhilarating to have it back without another name succeeding it.

At the moment, it was more than just her name. It was metaphor.

"Jauregui" was a metaphor for freedom, for bliss and for utmost gratification that through her arduous struggles, it was concluded by her laying an unwavering claim to her life.

Lauren was on the floor, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom with her phone pressed against her ear. Her lips were untamable and her smile was relentless even when her vision was overwhelmed by her less than appealing apartment. But it was home; for now, at least.

And more importantly, it was clean.

It was her latest accomplishment; a clean space with polished counters and without dirty laundry on the comprehensively vacuumed and washed carpeted floor. Lauren had gone out the previous day, dragging Ida along with her, to pick up a shampooing system when there was a sudden desire to...overhaul her life and she felt as though the first step was to clean her burrow of a home.

It was up to Clara Jauregui's standards and Lauren was just too blissfully intoxicated that she never minded her exhausted mind and body, even when her free hand continuously rubbed her outstretched legs. It was only a couple of minutes ago that she finally repositioned her singular pull-out couch and coffee table; the living room being the last area of the unit she cleaned.

"No more court days?" An ecstatic Mike Jauregui asked on the other end of the line, barely able to orate the meager words of his disbelieving yet happy heart.

"None." Lauren's lip quivered as she grasped what she had just said while the weight of her father's voice finally bore down on her comprehension. "No more, dad." She continued in a strained whisper.

"Do you need anything? Help with the lawyer's fees? Do you want us to come up there?"

Mike was overjoyed that his words became a jumbled murmur his daughter had no trouble deciphering. He was as delighted as Lauren but he was failing at keeping it together. Lauren could hear her mother asking if there was a hitch or more complications to their daughter's annulment proceeding but Michael only sobbed, which might have worsened Clara's perturbed thoughts.

A part of Lauren was remorseful she kept her parents in the dark about her faintest troubles regarding the legal separation. Preserving her sanity was her priority and she feared that if she admitted to any sort of difficulty, they would be magnified, and she'd be left to count the days until she'd crumble to the ground.

And every single time her parents are involved, it was as if she'd be transformed into a little defenseless girl, and she could not afford that while attempting to face court dates alone.

Reconsidering her stance, Lauren admitted she yearned to keep a brave front and since it was all over, the floodgates have finally been unlocked as she allowed unbridled reprieve to rain over her while she sought her father's protective essence.

There was a twinge in Lauren's heart that reminded her of her tumultuous journey to shed the surname that never belonged next to her own. It was the same ache that told of how grateful she was that in the lottery of life, she landed on a pair of devoted parents, who were whatever and wherever she needed them to be.

And finally, the first bead glided down her cheek because there was no other way to express just how much easier it was to breathe despite how tight her chest felt as her body braced for tears.

"No, dad. I got it. Everything's fine." She claimed despite the lack of conviction as her words were stolen by her emotions. "I just really needed to talk to you and tell you how happy I am. And tell you not to worry anymore."

"I'll always worry, Lauren." Michael countered softly in his version of a fatherly tone Lauren was familiar with; the very tenor his daughter needed to hear. "You know I only want the best for you, right? When you told me you and Sean were getting married, I hoped you would have a marriage like mom and mine. I wished he was your happily ever after but you were really miserable."

Mike couldn't see her but Lauren found herself nodding as her father began disclosing his concerns for his first born. It was what a doting father would say but Mike had always treated his girls as princesses, and when he saw them as such, he envisioned something better for them; something beyond a father could offer.

And Sean could have, granting Lauren offered him the smallest shard of her broken heart but even he could not put the pieces back together even if they were all in his hands.

"Dad, no one says those things anymore." Lauren protested and released a little groan of her disapproval despite the bliss brought about by his father's tender words that seemed to have never ran out of magic. She dropped her gaze onto the spotless carpet by the side of her thigh as her lips slowly stretched to force a somber smile despite the pride of a cleaning job done well swelling in her chest. "When you grow up, the prospect of fairytale love just becomes...I don't know...near impossible."

"That's why it isn't absolutely impossible." Mike defiantly insisted and Lauren's silence only meant she was conceding.

The little knowing hum that she heard from the other end of the line told Lauren just how proud Mike was of his feat, knowing full well how challenging it was to silence Lauren. Her growing skepticism over those bitter years only made it worse. And drowning in her consuming pride was an embarrassed child, who only realized just how wrong she was to shut her parents out.

Their love will remain to be incomparable and she wished that every single child, despite age, had parents like hers.

"How are you now that everything's settled?"

"I'm just so happy, dad. And right now, it's the only thing that matters." Lauren blurted out the first and most prominent thought in her mind, and for once, she meant it. "I'm definitely relieved that it's over. And looking back, it just makes everything really worth all the stress and exhaustion."

"I'm happy for you, too, baby. We all are." Mike croaked out, inundated by the weight of the news once more.

Mike had always been in touch with his emotions and he bravely exposed them like a fearless man would.

Before he could speak further, Clara's voice resounded on the other end after some static nose, and her snatching the phone from her husband. She was cheerful; a stark difference from the woman, who attempted to slyly coax Lauren into giving Sean a second chance. Clara didn't know any better. Her daughter had graciously omitted the little detail of the man's infidelity and only informed them of her feelings, or lack thereof.

Lauren would have wanted to stay on the line longer after Clara began talking about her beloved grandkids and their antics, but when she stood up to get some water, she found her unmade bed. And of course, she had to do it for the sake of her overhauling her life.

She just had to start the day right.

Lauren would have wanted to divulge on the happy news sooner but she found herself drowning in her work apart from convincing herself that despite the rough voyage, she was at the finish line.

Every single time her disbelief caught up with the truth, she could only feel an indentation of the bonds that once held her tightly. She was reminded that torment had lost its power, and she was one step closer to feeling more than just respite.

And through it all, she felt renewed - like she had just been given another chance to do something she had always wanted to do.

Because of that, she vowed to never make the same mistakes again.

At the end of that conversation, Lauren felt lighter.

-

Without Dinah to keep her company - or bother her, Lauren entertained herself with more cleaning and some scary movies that she didn't pay attention to. Meeting with Prof. Mueller allowed for her to complete her assignment the previous night, which technically slithered up to three in the morning. She devoted the rest of her Saturday organizing the comprehensive report she was to hand over to Dr. Harold Stowers, the chairman, first thing on Monday morning. Ample time was spent crosschecking the final document with her notes; highlighting key points that she found essential for the deliberation.

It was Dr. Stowers' task to raise the gathered findings, including Lauren's, to the president and the board of trustees. The chairman was only one of nine scattered across Indiana, and decision making never went through without the approval of higher ranking school officials.

The semantics of employment had never been as draining but she was grateful to be able to put it behind her.

Lauren was stirring her version of her mother's Cuban beef stew, making do with her Pinot Grigio in place of the Sherry she needed for a more authentic taste. She wanted to celebrate despite being solitary, which was what she was oddly grateful for. It was a little over five in the afternoon and cooking time was a daunting hour, which allowed her enough to take a long, rejuvenating shower to compensate for an exhausting day.

Lauren was accomplished in a multitude of ways but she was severely drained.

Just as she finally set the lid atop the pot, her phone chimed. Expecting it to be her devoted lawyer, giving her updates of the documents she was to receive, Lauren was taken aback when she found a different name she hadn't seen in a while.

"Miss Lauren, it's Jess Caldwell. I've talked to professors and they're not offering the course I came to talk to you about for this summer. Can I come meet with you to discuss my options? Is Tuesday ok? Tomorrow's not good for me."

A sigh was only the beginning of Lauren's distress upon reading the text message. Somehow, she had to exhale deeply just to keep her chest from constricting too tight and the heightened temperature of her open kitchen only worsened the tension that was beginning to agitate her head.

The number was saved in Lauren's phone and Jessica never had to mention her name given their constant exchange. Jess was one of the students Lauren constantly met with, and much like Rob, the girl bore responsibilities that was never hers to begin with.

However, the fact that Jess reached out wasn't what perturbed Lauren.

Jess hadn't been in her office since December, and hearing from the student was like a conflicting wave that eased her worries but brought another one in exchange. Lauren feared that the student may have concealed personal troubles behind her academic woes.

Empathy had always been one of Lauren's greatest features but it may be one of her most compelling weaknesses as well that at times, it provokes anxious thoughts to cloud her better judgment. She had never been obligated to share her personal phone number with a student unless she deemed it necessary, and Jess and Rob were only two of those she'd handed her business card to.

Being the school psychologist and heavily involved in the Student and Career Development department, Lauren would definitely go above and beyond to alleviate the struggles of a juvenile heart but there was only so much she could do.

And the thing with helping is, unless nobody asked for it, Lauren couldn't do anything.

Responsibilities attached to her titles were only the beginning of Lauren's involvement. She tended to take their fears and the great and blatant injustice to a more personal level, enabling her to dig deeper and obliterate the defensive thorns of the troubled mind.

So, when Lauren went to bed that night, she had a multitude of things to be grateful for that would have made slipping into a relaxing unconsciousness much easier but she had others that kept her up.

And of course, before her body's lights were out, her phone lit up, revealing Robert McIntyre's name. And what he wrote, albeit significantly mortified, made cleaning more like a necessity.

Thankfully, it wasn't an emergency.

-

Monday came and went like a blur, and Lauren was appreciative of the fact that Harold Stowers awarded her assessments with high regard. The man was more than pleased with what he was reading and had asked Lauren to forward the document to Ida to furnish several other copies that he would be presenting to members of the Board of Trustees and the President himself.

Their lengthy discussion stretched to an hour and before it could die down, the chairman had managed to ask Lauren for her opinion on Prof. Clausnitzer's performance. Lauren didn't need to be reminded of her ex-girlfriend, given that she'd been running around Lauren's head like she owned the place. And even when her first thought was to inform her boss of Camila's birthday the following day, Lauren managed to let out a professional answer in an oddly leveled voice.

Expectedly, Harold Stowers agreed passionately; having always known that the decision to bring Prof. Clausnitzer in was the smartest move albeit tumultuous given her busy schedule.

When Lauren thought she was off the hook, Ida had halted her in her tracks to hand her the last of the acceptance packets. Lauren was supposed to do a final check before she handed them over to the Admissions Department for mailing.

Lauren was busy but Tuesday was eventful, and it was far more hectic than she anticipated.

It was Camila's birthday and Lauren was still quite confused as to how she felt about it. It was definitely surreal to comprehend the fact that after almost a decade, they were in each other's lives once more during that momentous occasion.

Figuratively, at least.

The Clausnitzers plus one Hansen were beneath the blazing sun at the moment; their ears would have been inundated by the march of waves, careening towards the shore while their feet would have been massaged thoroughly by the beautiful sands of the Dominican Republic.

Meanwhile, Lauren's were cradled in the meager padding of her shoes, and it was definitely far less appealing.

And if Lauren somehow forgot, her first reminder came from Dinah Jane Hansen. The Polynesian had managed to throw a text message asking what Lauren's gift for Camila was.

If only that was the end of it.

Dinah proceeded to send Lauren various revealing pictures of the bikini-clad professor. Despite being enamored by those gorgeous olive features, Lauren's eyes immediately dropped to her ex-girlfriend's ravishing, more mature body and focused on the way her waist widened to exaggerate her curves. And sure enough, green hues intently traced the arc of her wondrous behind.

Somehow, her throat began to withdraw all moisture from her mouth to the point that breathing had become an inconvenience. It was odd to feel her wildly beating heart while it felt suffocated in its place; and if Lauren decided to hold her breath it, it'd slam harder against her ribs in protest. And the first thing that Lauren did was cross her legs as her rampant thoughts directed her to the previous Saturday, when her lips were ravaging every inch of Camila's skin.

Thoughts alone were compelling and it wasn't long before her body was thrown in the fiery pits of arousal.

As if sensing Lauren's emotions, Dinah did top it off with a picture of Camila quietly reading a book in a corner with glasses perched atop her nose. Lauren assumed it was to rouse nostalgia of their quaint days together back when they were a couple.

Lauren appreciated it but it didn't lull her awakened desire. Needless to say, she spent some extra time in the shower.

-

Lauren traversed through the hallways with a certain bounce to her stride. Again, she was looking forward to seeing her glorious eight-letter surname plastered on her office door, which didn't fail to attract the attention of those who have come across it, that even Stowers decided to congratulate her on it.

Just as she did the previous day, Lauren lingered by the timber structure, holding a to-go cup of cappuccino in one hand while securing several folders in her arm. Her free hand was merely twirling her keys with her thumb poking through the hoop as she made some oddly festive clanks with them.

At one point, she began humming Joy to the World to accompany the tune she was making with the key ring.

Lauren never expected for the simple and most generic sound to incite the memory of her drenched key fob, which she still kept in a drawer in her bathroom. The reminder of dunking her hand in a murky puddle weakened her knees and was unconsciously compelling her fist to secure the metal objects within - halting her impromptu caroling.

Even before she could lay eyes on the inscriptions on the glass panel, her grin had already been plastered across her face fueled by her anticipation and excitement. And it remained there for the limited time she had before her attention was completely stolen by one sprightly little girl.

"Mauwen! Mauwen!" Pebble excitedly shrieked from behind her, preceded by a rushed pitter-patter of tiny feet, and shadowed by her mildly disgruntled uncle's voice, spewing reminders to keep her voice down.

The screech did more than just snap Lauren out of her musings. It startled her into leaping slightly in the air and squishing the malleable cup but managed to catch herself before risking burning her hand, or worse, scaring the child with her subsequent scream of scalding agony. She did murmur some choice words to herself, though, which she deemed warranted given the compelling explosion in her chest that lowered her body temperature and...her bravery.

Then again, despite panting to replenish the seemingly insufficient oxygen levels, Lauren recovered from her shock fairly quickly.

"Hi, baby." Lauren swiveled in place, beaming happily at the little girl, who was expectantly looking up, mirroring her smile fondly.

Those bright hazel eyes gleamed with innocent adoration for the psychologist. Lauren could not help but protrude her bottom lip at the sight despite her intention of showing the little girl an exaggeration of her excitement just as she always did. Pebble's features were just so pure and utterly unadulterated, something that Lauren desperately needed.

It reminded her of her two nephews courtesy of her brother, Chris and his wife but the connection she had with Pebble was different. It was a little more earnest, considering Pebble had no one else to perceive as her mother.

Mindful of her skirt, Lauren bent her knees and opened her unoccupied arm to coax Pebble into a hug despite her maladroit stance with the folders pressed against one side of her chest. Without hesitation, the little girl bounded over to the woman and practically pounced; securing her small arms around Lauren's neck.

"I missed you so much." Eyes closed, Lauren hummed in utter contentment as Pebble's warmth caressed her skin and seeped into her heart.

"I miss you!" Pebble happily retorted, nuzzling her head between Lauren's shoulder and her prominent jaw. "I'm so happy to see you, Mauwen."

"You should be 'cause Miss Lauren is very happy to see her favorite two-year-old!"

It was a deliberate mistake, delivered in a teasing tone, which was intended to rile Pebble up just a tad bit. She was quite sensitive of her very young age and felt obligated to correct the mindless peasants who committed the mistake.

Lauren chuckled with pride riddling her amusement when the little girl squirmed in her arms in protest. She vigorously rubbed Pebble's back, momentarily squeezing her just because her entire being was just uncontrollably idyllic. Somehow, at the seemingly unending height of her annulment case, Lauren's emotions were restricted. Her perturbed being seemed to have served as an impasse to keep her from living in the moment and savoring in the purest of joys.

Admittedly, leaving Camila was only the beginning of her darker days but the legal battle further stole her away from relishing in the joy of living.

Without the obstruction, Lauren held a new appreciation for the things she considered mundane and typical aspects of her relatively new life, which included friends and family.

All of a sudden, she couldn't wait to talk to every single one of them and reconnect the ties she unknowingly severed when she isolated herself to search for Camila.

And somehow, Lauren was finally ready to start rebuilding her life; to pick up the pieces that have been scattered in her misery. Despite the persuasive and attention-seeking twinge in her chest, she was prepared to face the future with the probability of Camila being nothing beyond a friend.

And because of that, Lauren let out a pained, drawn-out sigh as she assessed the long road ahead.

"I'm three!" Pebble exclaimed after finally successful in yanking her tiny body away from Lauren, and subsequently struggled to stick three fingers out as if it would add some evidence to her claim.

The determined look in those brows framing her stubborn eyes prompted a laugh to rumble in Lauren's belly but she bit her lips to keep it in. It was too endearing and somehow, the temporary creases adorning her young face was hilarious.

Lauren's attempt at being remorseful at her evidently immense crime was futile and soon enough, she just laughed to her heart's content. Pebble joined in immediately, letting her own joviality win over slight confusion as to what was so funny while Robert quietly chuckled to himself, quietly grateful for the woman that he had begun seeing more as an older sister than a mere counselor.

"That, you are!" Lauren gasped as remnants of her laughter slowly died down. She set her hand over Pebble's cheek and took a moment to admire the little girl's bliss. It was gratifying to learn how she could brighten another human being's day, especially a little girl's. "Are you excited for later? You're sleeping over at Miss Lauren's tonight, babe!"

"Yes!" Pebble exclaimed in a volume that was definitely bound to traverse through the smallest cracks of closed doors but Lauren didn't have the heart to shush her. Instead, she watched with a smile on her face as the little girl threw her arms in the air and leaped in place; occasionally struggling to keep her balance.

It was a beautiful sight.

"Good morning, Miss." Rob quietly mumbled, reluctantly interfering the tender moment.

His polite voice prompted Lauren to look up and acknowledge him with that welcoming grin of hers. Lauren immediately found an extra knapsack hanging off one shoulder which was definitely Pebble's overnight bag. The boy had filled it with some books, toys, crackers and snacks apart from Pebble's clothes and bathroom essentials.

"Good morning, Robert." She returned graciously, slowly pushing herself up to her feet as she sensed the strain her position was upon her legs.

The boy hurriedly asked Lauren if he could go ahead and unlock the door for her, seeing as he kept a spare key with him being Lauren's student assistant. His own set of keys jangled in his pockets before he could yank them out and unleash a much louder, unobstructed clanking. His actions were graceless and frantic, something he was inclined to do around persons of authority.

Soon enough, Rob had managed to push the door open and held it ajar to allow the two girls inside. That was after it had accidentally slammed against the wall next to it, to which he apologized for profusely and consequently received numerous reassurances that he was doing well.

Without warning, Pebble simply took off and settled into the adjacent room, in the small table and chair Lauren bought for her; leaving the pair chuckling to themselves at how comfortable and eager the toddler was within Lauren's territory. She was bound to whip her coloring book up and scatter her crayons or take a blank page, and draw another portrait of Lauren. Then again, it could be of the unconventional family she belonged to; the one she was severely grateful for.

"Thank you for taking her for the night, Miss, and...for everything." Rob fumbled with the knapsack with Pebble's clothes, timidly standing before Lauren's table as he attempted to form words out of his immense gratitude despite his apprehension. "I don't really know and I'm scared to think of the thought of our lives without people like you. I'm really sorry I couldn't warn you sooner. It's just that I thought Mrs. Villanueva would be available as usual but she's on-"

"Rob, I've said this before and I'd like for you to remember it; I care about you two, okay?" Lauren interrupted gently, yearning to keep the rickety boy on his feet. She had just dropped her purse on her chair after setting the folders and her coffee atop her desk, and she couldn't have done it faster.

The sight of Rob's discomfort shame was gut-wrenching. He was in an apparent distress with the way he was handling the lifeless backpack; crumpling the material within his tight fists as if it would disintegrate if he twisted harder. Then again, he sought for strength in the meager fabric he was close to tearing; something to hold on as the strongest gust of wind would pass through.

The boy was helplessly inundated by his resentment against the world at the reminder of Pebble and his ill-fated situation. He didn't have parents anymore, and if that wasn't enough, fate decided to be cruel and stole Pebble's mother from her. It was just so unfair to have that dire necessity to have someone to guide him and reassure him that he was cruising through the right path while some ungrateful children would curse their parents and wish death upon them.

It wasn't going to be long until his despondency would morph into anger and he'd need something, or someone to blame when abusing the knapsack would no longer be enough.

It was apparent that Lauren didn't mind having the toddler around and it was only Pebble's third time to spend the night over at her place but none of that mattered to Rob. No matter how small the favor might be to someone else, when his vision is obstructed by darkness, visibility wouldn't be a guarantee.

It was just the fact that having to ask for help when he desperately needed to prove himself was like murdering his pride. And unfortunately, it was all that he had left apart from Pebble and his scholarship.

But that was why Lauren was there for them.

"You're an excellent student and you've done well with raising her, and I could not have been more proud of you, Robert." Lauren sincerely expressed, expectantly anticipating the moment the student lifted his gaze even if it took a moment. Her heart was heavy, tugging her slumping shoulders along with its painful descent. "I know you're grateful for every single thing, every good deed people have shown you, and of all the things you worry about, you don't have to worry about thanking me. I just want you to focus on your courses and maintain that scholarship. And I'm going to remind you again; I can take care of her while you can't and it would be my pride and joy to do so."

Rob concealed his prickling eyes, attempting to will the moisture away. By then, it was a race for his body to drown his nose and tighten his throat with the looming tears. He desperately needed to hear those words. It wouldn't have mattered who it came from but he paid such high regard for the psychologist that the impact was just one powerful wave, sweeping through his body.

"Thank you, Miss. Thank you so much." He uttered in a strangulated voice as he frantically nodded his head to express what his words couldn't. Sniffling, his hands flew up to his eyes, inspecting the area for some stubborn tears. "I'll come back before 10 for her breakfast and I'll bring her back right away. But she has had some cereal before we left."

"You're welcome, Rob." Lauren quietly breathed a sigh of relief, satisfied to have found a hint of a smile upon the student's lips. "Now, go before you're late. I got her."

Rob didn't turn his back on the psychologist without spewing a couple more words of gratitude and if he stayed longer, Lauren would have seen him as a fountain of "thank yous". It left her chuckling to herself as she shook her head, amused by the boy's wild and agitated actions. Then again, she preferred Rob appreciative and shy over the other extreme.

Lauren intently listened on the conversation between Robert and his niece with a faint, wistful smile upon her lips as she slowly descended to sit. She had just pushed her laptop computer open with every intention of completing the last of the acceptance packages but used the relatively slow start-up as an excuse to do a little more eavesdropping.

Robert had just reminded the little girl to behave, which Pebble promised immediately; sounding quite impatient having been interrupted in her moment of artistry. The bite in the toddler's tone elicited a quiet chuckle to explode from Lauren's mouth as her heart swelled with fondness. It was definitely severely adorable at the moment and Lauren could just see Pebble's features crumple in her displeasure, but had Pebble been 10 years older, it would have been nothing short of infuriating.

And just the thought of raising her own teenager that possessed her sass was a little daunting.

Lauren's musings leaped across possibilities and having the child in her hands once more reminded her of one decision she made not long ago. She began to envision herself with her own family. She'd have three children or four; she didn't really mind how many. The only thing that mattered was who she would parent them with and Lauren refused to picture as scenario without Camila.

It wouldn't be a family without her.

It was a farfetched idea, a fantasy even but she was too consumed in it that she didn't notice Robert leave or her computer, waiting for her to input her password.

Lauren couldn't pinpoint how she felt. It was just a slew of nostalgia, a flurry of loss and a ton of regret, topped off with sorrow.

"Mauwen?" Pebble's voice was loud and clear, almost as if she was right in front of Lauren.

And sure enough, she was.

Lauren's fright had never been as explosive. Between her loud gasp and her legs propelling her and her seat back, she would have been convinced no other commotion could have been louder. But before she could arrive that conclusion, she could hear her heart in her ears as it sent chills to ravage her body up to the tips of her fingers and toes.

She could have sworn her soul left her body for a moment, took its time to laugh at her agony before it assumed its right position once more.

All the while, the toddler watched in amusement, desperately biting her laughter back.

It was the second time in a row and there was only so much Lauren could do to keep herself from cursing.

"Look, Mauwen!" Giggling, Pebble raised her hands, one bearing a broken pink crayon while the other a sheet of paper with her little disproportionate sketch of what seemed to be a woman in it.

It would have been a puzzle. In the past, Lauren only had to guess among three possibilities. Then again, it was a little too...young to be Mrs. Villanueva and the image of what Pebble assumed as her mother would always be wearing a white dress. Given that the other two have been crossed out, Lauren attempted to picture herself in the drawing but she just couldn't.

Brown disheveled hair, traced in Pebble's best ability and thinner pink lips were in contrast with the pitch black tresses and full red lips that the toddler often portrayed Lauren in.

"Will she like it, Mauwen?" Pebble asked with genuine interest and the slowly forming frown on her features were telling Lauren of her fear of rejection.

"Who, baby?" Lauren pushed the laptop aside and leaned into the table to see the toddler fully, smiling at her in the hopes of appeasing her. "But I promise you, she will like it, okay?"

"Auntie Mila." Pebble shrieked, loudly, at that and careened back to the adjacent room, quite satisfied with Lauren's answer, leaving the psychologist wide-eyed and...at an utter loss for words.

That was her second ruthlessly unexpected reminder of Camila's birthday.

Lauren involuntarily held her breath, attempting to process what she had just heard while the rest of her body had been thrown into a pandemonium. Questions were abundant as her brows steadily met in between, creating gorges upon her forehead while she dumbly opened and closed her mouth.

She wanted to ask Pebble how and when she decided to call the Professor something more...familial. Did they even spend time together apart from that one afternoon Dinah and Camila volunteered to take her out?

In a slow and steady pace, her lungs began to burn as her body continued to consume oxygen without her replenishing it for a moment. There it was again, her racer for a heart. The conniving organ brought her reeling head and tingly body into forming an alliance with her, demanding for her to breathe.

Lauren didn't know what in the world was happening or what possessed Camila to accept Pebble and what she had just happily called her. Sure, her mind was quick to analyze every scenario that was the slightest bit plausible but she arrived at nothing.

However, atop her confusion was a speckle of gratification.

Camila was slowly forming little relationships with those around her instead of busying herself reinforcing the high walls she built for years on end.

-

With Lauren's desire to finish her task, she diligently worked until all the acceptance packets were sent to the admissions office. She delivered them herself; an arm cradling the packages while her free hand securely held onto Pebble's much tinier one. It made sense to drag the child along with her despite troubling her once more. But unlike her disposition towards Robert, Pebble happily skipped along with Lauren.

It made sense, though. The toddler was perfecting her first sketch for one Professor C, and it had to be perfect.

When she'd exhausted every single one of her duties, Lauren could have easily delved into the most recently published articles regarding her profession but it wasn't what her body was aching for. In all the years she'd worked in the community college, she had never had to meet such standards in interviewing prospective employees. It was mentally and physically exhausting, and it was taking so much in her to keep from faking a stomach bug.

As promised, Rob came back to take Pebble out to have some breakfast and the mention of her favorite food roused the toddler's interest despite her reluctance to leave Laruen's office and her lap. They were reciting the alphabets; at least, some of them and Lauren had been pointing to a picture of a hat to illustrate the letter "H".

It was the pair's favorite past time, learning and Lauren was taking advantage of it while the child loved the prospect of education.

There was a knock only a couple of minutes after Robert left with Pebble and behind the door was the student Lauren had been dying to meet with. As soon as she invited her visitor in, she was greeted with remorseful and somber blue eyes that struggled to stare into greens with her head shamefully bowed down.

Jessica acknowledged Lauren with respect while the psychologist cheerfully muttered a greeting and an invitation to come up and join her at her desk in an attempt to influence their grave conversation into something a little lighter.

The limited time it took Jessica to take a seat, the psychologist scrambled to spot any difference in her. She seemed the same; hair in it typical wild, fiery ember and ivory skin gracefully dusted with freckles. She didn't appear to have lost weight, no bags under her eyes and she looked well-rested.

It was a relief.

Normally, there would have been casual chit-chat thrown here and there before the pair would discuss Jessica's predicaments but that didn't remain true during that particular meeting. The pair dove right into it the moment the Accounting student handed her program course checklist to Lauren. Jessica began elaborating on the plans she had undertaken over the couple of months in the hopes of opening up the certain elective during the summer. And since it was an elective, no one else had been forced into the dire situation or had been complacent with the extra time in college but it was a luxury Jessica couldn't afford.

Jessica would have had been able to graduate by May but her circumstances at home forced her to give up on her education for a semester the previous year.

Of course, Lauren had been well informed of Jessica's living situation after much evasive coaxing into expressing her deepest resentments. And because of that, the psychologist wanted to help; firing questions left and right until she had absolutely exhausted all options one at a time. She even suggested for Jessica to enroll in one of Camila's classes in the fall.

"You can do summer courses over at the colleges and universities around the state. And while you're at it, you could enroll in another course, getting rid of one more to free up a slot during the fall. The credits in your courses are transferable; you know that, right?" Lauren queried and paused just enough to witness Jessica nod in understanding before she devoted her attention back to the student's checklist of courses to see if she could find a loophole somewhere, which was slim to none. "You could cross enroll and Purdue is the closest. I know there are a range of accounting electives there."

"I don't think I can afford it, Miss Lauren."

"Is overloading an option in the fall? Isn't it a little hectic with your job in the mix?" She inquired softly with the least intrusion to the student's comfort. All she wanted to do was reach for Jessica's hands to show her support but she was fumbling with them, much like Robert had done earlier. "You don't have to rush. You're 20 and you have every right to live a little, and do something because you want to and not because you need to."

"I can work weekends, Miss. But if there are no summer classes, I can work double time for four months and save some money to overload and not have to work as much when school is back." Jessica reasoned fervently, a telltale sign that she had made up her mind but only needed Lauren's approval to pursue it. She let out a frustrated huff as she clasped her hands together and set them on her lap. "I just...I just want to get this done and over with so I can look for a better job."

"Okay." Lauren relented, continually scrutinizing her student just to measure her conviction and as far as her professional assessment was concerned, she found that Jessica's was unwavering and steadfast. And it meant there was no arguing. "As long as you're sure about this."

"I am."

Lauren was awfully familiar with balancing work and her education. She was a full-time employee at the local hospital while accomplishing her MA in Counseling Psychology. She had done a multitude of voluntary work to further her career and add more tabs to her résumé. Apart from that, she was in pursuit of a person who never wanted to be found.

Lauren would have loved to be told what to do - to be guided in her steps but and directed to a fruitful route, something Rob yearned for as well. Then again, it was an irony that she was the person Camila was escaping from and yet, she had more clues as to her whereabouts, even if they weren't enough; well, until January of the same year.

It would also be rational to acknowledge that Jessica possessed the same determination as Lauren. Despite the difference in what drove them, they were in a race against time and the burden of getting to the finish line often warded of words of concern from those who simply care.

Her experiences alone told Lauren it was futile to even reason with her student; especially, when Jessica had already made up her mind.

Letting out a sigh, Lauren nodded to acknowledge the student's decision. She followed the creases of the document and folded it back up, subsequently handing the piece of paper back to its owner but not without ensuring she had offered Jessica a sympathetic smile.

"Anything else you want to talk about?" Lauren reached up and brushed her hair back, tangling her fingers in the dark tresses and proceeded to tuck strands behind her ear.

It didn't take much deliberation to understand the subliminal message Lauren was implying. Frankly, Jessica anticipated that question. She would have divulged on her family life sooner had Lauren been able to restrain herself.

Regardless, the student knew where the psychologist was coming from, and it was from the same vicinity as care and affection.

While Rob had a niece, Jessica was a youngest daughter to a drunk, who barely earned enough money to keep up with her addiction and a sister to two brothers who didn't want anything to do with their mother. Jessica's father had abandoned his family a year and a half prior, snapping what was left of her mother's sanity and triggering her dependency on alcohol.

And still, both Lauren and Jessica knew there were so many other choices than lean on a substance.

The guarantee of maturity didn't always come with age, Lauren concluded. For the lucky ones, maturity gradually happens with accountability coming in small, bearable increments throughout the years of a developing child. Unfortunately, when normal circumstances merely drizzle, other times, it pours and it tended to be overwhelming.

Unorthodox as it may be, sometimes children care for their parents and whatever wisdom they gain would come from what should not be done.

Lauren admired those kids.

"Nothing's changed." Jessica remorsefully admitted with an audible dejected huff. She had bowed her head once more and pursed her lips as if to formulate the right words to avoid a scenario where Lauren would begin to pity her instead of merely sympathizing with her. "It's still pretty tough and she's still as...stubborn as ever. I just...I want to finish this to get a better job and maybe get her into rehab, even alcoholics anonymous would be great, or have enough money to demand for things to change because right now, those two options aren't in front of me."

For an empath, it was one of the worst things Lauren had to hear.

Lauren could almost predict Jessica's answers word-for-word. It seemed as though the student had rehearsed it prior to the meeting but regardless of the frequency she had uttered them, it never got easier. The weight of her words remained to be a burden on her shoulders and Jessica had grown helpless with each day that passes by. Asking her neighbors to check on her mother while she was occupied with work and school had become a little too much that each time she looked into their concerned eyes, she felt as though she was the useless drunk who could not stand a day without alcohol.

Why couldn't life be easier? It wasn't fair to offer a consolation in terms of building strength to overcome and lessons learned from adversity considering some never make it out alive.

"It'll get better. I promise you." Lauren assured her with such certainty despite how the news rattled her. She was trying to be hopeful that in those months that she hadn't seen Jessica, progress would have been observed in her mother. "But in the meantime, I'm here for you and no matter what it is you need, I want you to come to me. Is that okay?"

"Yes, miss. Thank you." Jessica offered the psychologist a warm smile and for now, it was enough.

Lauren allowed her student to wallow in her thoughts and busied herself with organizing her chaotic table. Some of Pebble's coloring materials were still there and even her sketch of Camila was tucked within a folder to keep it safe from any more creases.

She was being respectful of Jessica's privacy and was aware of the necessity to step back for a moment to digest certain things on her own. It was an understandable request and Lauren would have allowed her days up to months to ponder on whatever it was that troubled her granting Jessica would come to her should her situation ever become unbearable.

However, when the student spoke again, Lauren was in for a surprise.

"What is it like in...Professor C's class?" Jessica mumbled reluctantly, aware of the ice cold gaze Camila would shoot to every single person who dared to cross paths with her.

As if Lauren needed it, Jessica's question was the third reminder of it being Camila's birthday.

Then again, the fourth one was not just any other reminder and Lauren was in for a surprise.

-

Meanwhile, Camila was blazing through speeds imaginable with her high stilettos and constricting pencil skirt. The difficulty to take it up a notch was a haughty reminder that it was a terrible idea to be wearing them when she was well aware of the rush she was in. Three inches lower would have been much more convenient, and a little more allowance for movement would have been highly appreciated.

However, Professor C was always up for a challenge and practically annihilating it.

And as expected, her stride still possessed an intrinsic poise and for some reason, her silky mane remained polished as it flailed behind her gracefully. Her chin was held high, of course. She left the near ominous sound of her clicking heels in her tracks that managed to haunt those with the displeasure of hearing them.

And contrary to Lauren's assumptions, the sound was what filled Camila's ears while she trudged through the marble tiles of Lafayette Community College, following a path to room 115...the psychologist's office.

Camila had been mentally preparing herself since receiving that phone call the previous day. She had finally been scheduled to present in front of a panel that would spell her fate, and her borderline-conceit self-confidence was allowing her to treat that day as any ordinary one. Apprehension was wasteful and useless when the contents of her dissertation were more than just factual, they were tested findings in real-world business - not a hypothetical one.

However, she was definitely anxious and it was because of her ex-girlfriend.

Camila was undoubtedly surprised to find that the burning bridge she was forced to turn her back on was still standing. After so many daunting years, she thought that it had burned to a crisp and its insignificant ashes would have been blown aimlessly by the wind. It would have been impossible to gather the scattered pieces, and that would mean the conduit was beyond repair.

Then again, she forgot to acknowledge the fact that a new one could stand in its place. This time, it'd be sturdy and substantial, albeit under construction.

Camila was panting by the time she reached the designated door. Her had just seized the brass knob and paused, just as she always does. It was most likely a force of habit, but her eyes would immediately travel up to the brand plastered on the glass panel.

But the seemingly trifling action was a little more profound than routine, though.

Sometimes, human beings need a little push to untangle their hands from something that have been nothing but hurtful. Camila figured that if she stared at the name, she'd be forced to let go. She'd always viewed marriage as absolute and unbreakable, which was a little hypocritical on her end given her own union with Luca Clausnitzer.

Nobody, especially when they're in denial, would consider that they've only been holding onto beautiful memories while attempting to ignore horrible ones, if they couldn't erase them. Oftentimes, they would leap over the very reason why it was necessary to sever ties in the beginning with the fear of being inadequate or incapable to thrive by themselves.

But her attempts were futile because the more Camila had the displeasure of gazing at Sean's last name, the more she despised the man. And instead of accepting defeat, she felt dared and tested.

Camila would reason that it was due to the fact that if she tried, she could get Lauren back. Of course, that was without the knowledge that she had already succeeded without doing so much as lift a finger.

But that was bound to change soon.

At first glance, it looked the same. Everything seemed to be in place save for one word that was definitely in the same font and color, but somehow stood out and shone brightly, almost blinding her.

"Jauregui." Camila mumbled breathlessly, emitting a long sigh as her stilled mind processed what she had just read. "Wh...how did..." Her question hung in the air before it could even be completed but whether she finished it or not, the door wouldn't be able to give her answers.

It appeared odd and out of place but Camila concluded that it definitely belonged there. How it happened, she didn't know but her entire body was heating up in the way it always does when she thirsts for answers, especially those that would satisfy profound questions.

And again, it was beyond confusion.

Camila would never want to admit how liberating it felt to find the name that she thought always and forever will belong to Lauren, the same one she wanted to wear had they made it to the altar the first time around. She could deny it all she want but the rapid beating of her heart and the chills that ran up her spine were playing a melody with lyrics conveying how happy - no, how unequivocally exultant she was.

Suddenly she was nervous, terrified because there was an urge to look good, to look attractive before she would push the door and finally lay her eyes on a magnificently beautify woman that possessed her heart. She began to polish her hair and straighten her clothes in a frenzy, plus a much needed huff that was to be the trumpet call to signal her entrance.

Regaining her composure and her courtesy, Camila remembered to knock before she allowed herself in. There was no need to poke her head through a meager c***k given that she was eager to see Lauren, and because of that she had barged in on a conversation that she was the subject of.

Lauren had only managed to suggest that Jessica would sit in in one of Camila's classes, and that she'd take care of the semantics and inform the professor so as not to take her by surprise. Jessica was just about to mumble her umpteenth gratitude but had snapped her mouth shut, and shot up to her feet to acknowledge the professor instead with fear clouding her eyes.

"Good morning, professor." Jessica muttered hastily in an attempt to prevent her voice from wavering as panic settled in, rendering her jaw stiff and useless.

"Good morning." Camila reciprocated despite both Lauren and Jessica's expectations, sparing the student the briefest glance as her chocolate pools searched for Lauren's disbelieving ones that were steadily morphing into the light of approval and what seemed to be delight.

It was nothing short of a miracle as Camila had never once given students the same courtesy; even the meager once she'd spoken to colleagues were dry and tasteless. She would only hum or grunt, depending on the severity of her ostensibly perpetual sour disposition. Frankly, she didn't know what possessed her to speak, she was just too eager to engage in a conversation with Lauren.

Slowly, the psychologist lifted herself off her seat as her eyes remained upon Camila's. Her actions were poised and calculated while a steady smile formed upon her lips, almost as if she was deliberately seducing Camila into erasing nearly every single thought in her mind, including Lauren's name at the door.

Lauren didn't question why Camila was in her office nor did she remember that it was the professor's birthday because her disheveled mind had been infiltrated by her emotions.

Among the chaos, she was just admittedly ecstatic that Camila was there.

"I'll go ahead, Miss Lauren." Jessica's quiet voice brought the pair from their wistful daze. She would have noticed the shift in the office had she been braver to look up. "Thank you for your time."

"Are you sure?" Lauren forced out despite the overwhelming need to swallow.

"Yes, Miss. Thank you."

"Anytime, sweetie." She smiled kindly, hopeful that their conversation had appeased her student even in the slightest. "Call me if you need anything."

Jessica only nodded; fearing that if she created another sound, Camila would erupt, which, at the moment was quite farfetched. She slung her bag's strap over her shoulder and quietly left the two with the most insignificant click of the door.

The silence was consuming, almost as if it was the calm before a withering storm. Both women remained where they stood as they scrutinized each other and processed the blatant fact that they were in the other's presence.

It was as if they had met for the first time in almost nine years and it was quite the opposite of the actual day they crossed paths in the beginning of semester. Their hearts were heavy but were never still, and the ache they felt was more of a yearning instead of the bitterness and resentment Camila unleashed upon the Lauren outside of that lecture hall.

Meeting again was beautiful despite the shattered pieces, the looming chaos and the persistent pain. Because at some point, they were whoever they were when Lauren left their apartment.

And from there, they could only move forward.

"Professor." Lauren all but whispered as she climbed out of the pits of her trance, and somehow managed to saunter over to Camila in the process.

If it wasn't for Lauren speaking up, Camila would have missed her presentation altogether. And if it was up to Camila, she would have loved to wallow in their uninterrupted connection and relish in Lauren's presence but nothing would have kept her in a daze when she heard something that was quite distasteful.

Lauren was being too cordial, too distant, especially after their cherished time together over the weekend, and it was just...so wrong.

"Please, Lauren, call me Camila." Camila mumbled as she shook her head, suddenly looking too somber for Lauren's liking.

"Camila." Lauren relented in a teasing manner, topping it off with a mocking nod that Camila found amusing. It sounded better than the designation that made her ex-girlfriend far more...intimidating. "I thought you guys weren't supposed to be back 'til the end of the week?"

Camila's grin dropped almost after it had appeared and her eyes displayed a conflict that Lauren tried to unravel but couldn't. For a moment, Lauren feared that the professor took her question the wrong way and was prepared to deliver an onslaught of apologies and frantic words that would clarify the innocent query.

Unbeknownst to Lauren was Camila's attempts in trying to make amends with her pride, bargaining with whatever she could offer upon realizing the purpose of her abrupt visit. The cuts would have been deeper and would have been excruciating bad the conversation occurred only two months prior. Heck, it would have been unbearable.

"About that..." Camila reluctantly began, barely sustaining eye contact with the psychologist. She took a deep breath, mostly for courage but was literally her body bracing for the jumbled and panicky words that would shoot out of her mouth. "Lauren, I wouldn't be asking this if there was another way but could you please pick Leslie up? He and I took a flight back last night and he's at school. It was his idea and I couldn't leave him with them after he begged. He comes out at 11:30 and I have a presentation for my dissertation at one and I have things to prepare and gather. And Luca and Dinah are still away, and Darnell is off somewhere and he's not answering his phone. I don't trust his nanny and they borrowed Linda for some banquet. And I-"

"Camila, hey," Lauren unknowingly sauntered closer to be at Camila's aid, in the hopes that her heart could comfort the woman. She figured that blatantly asking the professor to stay calm at the moment would be the greatest mistake she could ever do. "It's okay."

It was almost pitiful to find Camila in such an agitated state but it was more hilarious than anything. Camila had successfully established an indestructible façade that it was almost unfathomable to just picture her with such chaos in her eyes. Lauren's heart was swelling at the sight, and she forced herself to keep their memories from inundating her state of mind to prevent the possibility of being sucked into a whirlpool of nostalgia that would take her away from the present Camila, who needed her.

But, god, was she adorable. And since Lauren couldn't laugh, she settled on simply smiling and for the first time, Camila didn't have to suppress her own grin.

"I'll pick him up but I might have to bring Pebble, though." Lauren told Camila so as not to catch her off guard. "Rob's bringing her back before 11:00. They're just out to get some snacks. And I promise we will get going as soon as Pebble's here."

"That's okay. Actually, it's perfect." Camila almost panted. She had spent quite the energy only mustering the audacity to even ask the huge favor while her nerves decided to rattle her bones. "Leslie would love to see her - he would love to see both of you and I'm very grateful you said yes."

"It's no problem, really. Elf is a precious little boy."

Truthfully, Lauren was ecstatic to have one other little visitor to fool her into thinking that her office wasn't a place of work. She could already imagine all the fun she and the two children would be having, and with their imagination, it was bound to be...boundless.

"Thank you so much! I'll call them and I'll text you the address. You just have to show them an I.D. at the entrance." Camila let out a sigh, unloading what her lungs could offer as her hands climbed up to settle upon her forehead and run through her supposedly polished hair. She was just so relieved to have found someone to trust albeit their history. "Thank you, Lauren. I don't know how else to thank you."

"I really don't mind, Camila." Lauren reassured her once more, instinctively brushing the creases on the professor's collar and aligning it. "I got Elf and you only have to worry about your dissertation, which I don't think you have to. You got this; you're Professor C."

Camila was too distraught to even process whatever it was that was happening between them but she believed Lauren. The psychologist's faith in her was so strong that it empowered her. Camila missed being smothered by words that would reassure her and affectionate touches when she was feeling overwhelmed.

Without her family or friends, Camila was left to fend for herself; not noticing that she was gradually becoming haughty and arrogant. She wasn't quite delighted with the fact that she relished in the fear that consumed the eyes of those around her, but she thrived in it.

And when you're facing your greatest adversary, it shouldn't matter how you stand up.

But right then and there, the only thing that mattered was that Camila was being consoled by the only person who could manipulate her nerves to bring forth stillness.

And it didn't have to make sense when Camila threw herself onto Lauren and wrapped her arms around her neck, clinging onto her for dear life as she braced for the onslaught of her wild thoughts. She was grateful for many things, and having her ex-girlfriend pressed against her elicited a combination of nerves and bliss.

Camila would try but she wouldn't be able to put in words how she felt when Lauren's arms looped around her waist and held her fervently. She just couldn't believe how the sense of security remained in all the years that they have been apart but the chills that ravaged her body were electrifying her soul.

It didn't have to make sense but her actions were meant to tell Lauren she missed her and the way she squeezed the psychologist was expressing just how much. It meant relief that through the detours and broken roads, they were in the same place, and in an odd way, they were together. It meant rebuilding themselves, piecing the shards together and Camila's coming to terms with her feelings.

And it meant "I love you and I hope you feel it because I can't admit it while my wounds have not been healed yet."

It will only be in her actions that Camila could fully explain what she was feeling. Actions will remain to be the most eloquent and articulate way of communicating despite elegant and calculated sentences that were meant to impress the crowds.

Most importantly, it will only be through her actions that Camila could convey her honesty.

Because without words and reason, holding Lauren made sense.