Love and Astrology

I looked at the classy building in front of me. I missed this place. It's been 4 months. A lot of things have happened to me lately. I lost a good amount of people through a heartbreak that caused me my decade old relationship. I was cheated on and I always believed in the mantra do me dirty but never cheat on me. I just made that up. But it keeps me sane thinking I did the right thing of leaving the love of my life. My best friend for years. My confidante. We shared 2 kids that he now has no communication with due to multiple threats after we left him and I went off the grid. I lived off of the little money that I set aside after knowing his infidelity. I never looked back. I had to inform my company that I wouldn't be able to report to work due to security reasons. They were very generous to offer me to work from home. But now that my battle with my darling ex is over, I am now reporting back to work on site. I had to live with my brother to save up in the future. As I said, I went off the grid. Not one of my siblings know what's going on with my life. I did not bother telling them. This stupid ex of mine looked for me all over. He was actually a bit smart knowing I will not run to one of my siblings and did not look for me in obvious places. He sent me multiple a day in desperation of trying to look for me. He never knew he actually did me a favour of getting away from him more. His messages were non stop. He would say sorry, would start to accuse me of being with another man. He could cry but will never find me. His messages was funny and colourful. I enjoyed it. Finally, he had to come clean to one of my siblings that he doesn't know where I am and the kids. He dug a hole for himself. They went crazy looking for me and my kids. Then I showed up. Took out all the harassing messages I got from the douchebag and essentially got the pat in the back. I had a gone girl moment right there. Don't worry, I was not all that bad. I still cried for that asshole, just to finally release him from the deepest of my pocket. You know it was a messy breakup when all of your family is involved. My brother practically took me under his wing and let me live in his house. His baby sister needed saving. Since he is also the only one living in the Philippines. While the rest of my family sends me wads of cash to compensate for their absence. Just sound tired in all of their calls. Heartbreak is a job. It was super hard to fake. Don't get me wrong. I cried for him, a year before I left him. I was a capricorn. Do I need to explain? When I found out about his infidelity. I cried a lot. But I never told him I knew. What for? He would just fake cry and would ask me to make him choose between me and his asukal de mama. Yikes! I never gave him a peace of my mind. Even after I finally showed up. I throw no lines. Mata-mata akting lang! Hahaha. He was a gemini though. A very class act. Two-faced, two timing asshole. Crocodile tears running down his cheeks while he is f*****g another woman on the side. I clapped in all of his performances in Baranggay, DSWD, and PNP Women and Childrens desk only because he was the father of my children and they might get the knack for acting when they grew up but to believe it is a different story. He was a horrible husband to me. My kids lived off of a 100pesos a day budget while he scored the whole town for drinks and girls. Our first year was fantastic. We don't have the same s****l wavelength but it was fine. We loved each other. I was a wild child. He was a one shot guy. We met half-way. The consecutive years left me baffled up to now as to why I ignored all the red flags. Capricorn thingz✨ He would s*x me once a month, felt super ugly. Mind you, he is watching porn everyday. Liking pictures of ladies in their nice bikinis. Eventually, I started watching porn too and self-satisfied myself. Lasted for about 3 months and could not take it any more. I just accepted defeat and waited for the scarce rain. One month, one shot game. Boiling point is when he started dating this woman in her early 40's. Lots of respect maam. And I started searching for couch s*x in porn sites. I gotta stop right there. The only thing I'm very thankful for is that we never got married. And my babies of course. Our babies are 9 years apart. Don't try doing the math. It is what it is. During the course of my 'moving on before I left him era' I have a toddler to take care of. Maybe the only thing that saddened me in this separation is my toddlers' extra fondness of him. He is still, by the way, a good father to his kids just not financially. Our eldest bore a certain fondness to me, and is my rock. I never taught them to get angry at their father but somehow our eldest felt naturally aggravated towards his father and our situation since he became an adolescent. A common picture though. I just let his feelings wash him over. Being angry does not make you evil. He is a scorpio by the way, my attaboy so I never bothered? But anyway, this story is not about this gemini-china flagged guy. But about this cancer man who had me wrap around his fingers so delicately. Just imagine, a secretive capricorn and a nosy cancer. Hmmmmmmm so eto na nga ang chika mga kamarites….