In This Love

I looked around my surroundings and saw the horrified expression on my mother's face. Never in my life I had seen her looking worried for me. For the past 16 years of my life I have never seen her like this. You probably wonder why I didn't just say "my whole life" that's because I was never with them from the beginning. The Stark family adopted me at the age of three. My real mother had left me at their doorstep and they were obliged to adopt me.   I was at the hospital after a horrific accident.   "Honey! They are saying your leg won't be able to work again! There are minimum chances. I don't understand how we are going to bare with this! I can't look after you I have my business to run! Your sister is always running off to God knows where with God knows who! And your father! Your father is busy with his business. I just don't know how we'll manage!" She practically yelled in my hospital room. I, now realised that the worry was not for me. It was for herself. Her perfect family.   She didn't care that my well planned career had just ended. It was my life. All of this was my life ending. Even more challenges were waiting to come for me. And right now she only cared about herself.   "Wow what a great way to break the news, mom" my voice came out hoarse due to the lack of talking.   Her brown eyes snapped towards me and she just sighed.   She walked to my bed and sat next to me "I know what you are thinking" tears shimmered in her eyes. I almost felt bad about my attitude " I know I am being selfish. It's just that I am so stressed out, you know. Your father is busy with work and I am losing my mind over Ashley. And now this. I know you are strong. You'll figure something out. You are perfect do not let this down your confidence" I was getting irritated by her words. This situation wasn't a disaster at one of her fashion show that she can label as a simple disaster.   This was a disaster for my whole life. The dreams I had built up were about to become a reality but it turned into ashes. "Yeah Mom. I'll figure something out"  Dream sequence: The water around me roared as it criss crossed around me. It splashed onto the cold hard rocks.   "Come on Stark! Take another lap in 10" my coach, Alex yelled from behind. My heart was racing fast, I could feel my blood pumping in my ears. My breathing was uneven. Breaths came out in puffs and I could see them because of the cold weather.   "Yes coach!" I replied back and focused on the task in front of me. My fingers gripped the edges of my rows and started to move them back and forth. My canoe moved the way I wanted it.   The river wasn't straight. A few highs and lows covered it. Sharp pointy rocks peeped out from the water.   Since it was getting dark minute by minute the view in front of me was becoming more visious.   I held my breath when my canoe dropped just as the water in the trail. A splash slapped on my face as I chuckled.   Suddenly, out if nowhere it started to rain. It didn't only rain, it was pouring. I cringed when lightening struck around me. It was so bad that I shut my eyes.   This was the mistake I made. The mistake that changed my life.   Once again the lightening broke into the vicinity. At the same time the pressure of the water increased. My boat thrashed against the rock causing it to flip. I immediately held my breath before the impact just as I was trained to.   As I desended into the water was becoming colder and colder. I had never experienced this before in my whole career.   A torrent of lighting fell around the water. One of them fell on a tree. The water and the darkness of the night blinded me from what was about to come at me. The tree broke into a million pieces and a large branch fell on my leg and now I was trapped between a rock and a branch. With cold water between them.   Suddenly, the lightening decided to target me. All of it happened in a flash. Every single part of my body contracted and relaxed times a million. The current surged in my body. I literally felt my heart stop. It felt like I lost control over a part of my body.   It was like my life taunting at me. After a minute everything stopped. The rain, the lightening, the breaking point.   "Help! Help me! I can't breathe! Can't breathe!" I screamed on the top of my lungs hoping that someone hears me.   "I can't brea-"   My eyes ripped open and my heart thumbed against my chest. My hand went over my heart and messaged it . It was the nightmare. The memory that was embedded on my heart like a scar. You must think that I'm being dramatic but no.   Just imagine. The thing you are most passionate about completely ends for you. There is no chance for you to get your dreams back.   I heaved a sigh and closed my eyes. I tired not to get the heartache to me.   I ripped the sheets off of me and grabbed my cane I walked towards the bathroom and washed my face.   I looked at myself in the mirror. And saw how much I have changed. Not only in my appearance but also in my life.   Who would have thought that I'd be learning to be an electrical engineer. From an Olympian to an engineer. But now I am becoming-   I tried not to think about the conversation I had with my parents. The things that they wanted me to do with them. A simple favor. Wasting my life just for a year for a man.   Rhys Holt.   You see. That man is no ordinary man. He is every girls dream. He is the heart breaker of New York. But also he is a cold hearted asshole is what I have heard. That womaniser who changed his girlfriends like you change clothes.   But some women are lucky enough to be with him for a whole month. Many teenagers swoon over him as well. That man is my husband to be. And I was going to be his wife. This is my new phase of a nightmare.   It wasn't a nightmare because he was ugly and old. It was a nightmare because he was handsome and knew he it. Who wouldn't? When people around you praise you all the time. You believe it. Even my sister lusted over him. She worshipped him like he was a God. Last night when the conversation happened. I was cornered by my parents and I was forced to accept. I heard their banter on how they have been helping me for my whole life even after the accident. My dad, who rarely talked to me was nice to me and gave me a lecture on how we have to pay back to our parents. I couldn't say anything but yes.   I first only said that because I knew Rhys would never say yes. He couldn't. That man could never settle down with a girl. But I was different. I was burden. I am a cripple.   So my family was just sending me off because my father wanted his business to flourish but also they wanted me to leave. They didn't want me to be their burden anymore.   I wonder what Ashley would do when she hears that her sister she loves the most -note the sarcasam- is getting married to the man of her dreams.   My last semester had just started but then summer break was about to start too.   My only hope was Rhys now. He was my only hope because I wanted him to say no to this arranged marriage. This wasn't the 16th century. My heart seemed like the way it was beating, it would beat out of my chest. The uneasiness, the uncertainty of the future was something that would be enough to keep me up all night. If I were to lose everything so be it. I will certainly not lose myself. I'm not that weak.