Life saviour

Chapter nine - I want to have fun for once

Zoe's POV:

Mom and I started arguing more often. Something is going on with her. She wasn't like that before. I tried to make her go out more, but she didn't want to. At the same time, she didn't want me around. I have nowhere else to go. I can't keep staying with my grandparents. They have other work to do. That is the reason why they retired. Now it's their time to enjoy their life. Both of them are healthy. I don't know what else to say or do. I went to talk with that therapist again. She told me what I was supposed to do but said it would've been better if she could speak with my mom. I don't see it happening. I can't make her get out of the house. The woman won't come home. Honestly, that way is better. Grandma keeps visiting her. She tells her the same thing over and over again. Mom is not listening. That's why my grandpa tried something different. It didn't work. I tried dating sites. That only made things worse. She kept complaining about how terrible she looked and that no one would go out with her. I give up. Usually, I don't do this that quickly, but nothing else has left me. She doesn't accept any help. I have to forget about this and move on. I have other things to worry about. It's my last year in high school, and I should graduate with good grades. It won't be easy for me. I hope that I will get back the life I used to have.

I spent the last week studying. I learned some things, but it took me too much time. I used to be quicker. Grandpa let me use their living room. I will never be thankful enough for their help. Without them, I wouldn't have survived for so long. I have so many other things to do. Why can't I be like the rest and have friends? I want to have fun for once. Is it that much? I used to go out often, but that was before. I don't have that much time.

I woke up early today. I ate my breakfast and went to school. Mom was still sleeping. I left her some food on the table with a note. I know she doesn't read them. They end up in the trash can. I still have my hopes. I'm trying to make her day more positive. As I see, it's not working. I walked to school and left my things in the locker. Then I turned around and saw a flyer on the board. It was about a party. Only people with flyers can come. I looked around and quickly took it. It might be what I need.

- Zoe.

- Miss Paterson. Do you need something?

- No, I only came to check on you.

- I'm sorry about what I said that day.

- It's ok. I know you didn't mean it that way.

- It was a misunderstanding.

- Did you write all your assignments?

- Um, yes. I have to finish one. Thanks for the reminder.

- If you don't want to talk with me, you can talk with a classmate.

- There is no need for that. I'm fine. I don't have problems.

- Lately, you are distracted. Is there a boy? I'm asking only to understand if the reason is good.

- No, there isn't. I don't have time for this.

- Can I talk with your mom?

- Why?

- Because I think she can tell me what is happening with you.

- I'm sorry, but she has a lot of work. I'll tell her that you want a meeting.

- That can help.

- Do you want anything else?

- No. Enjoy the party. I think you need to rest and get loose for a night.

- What party?

- I'm a teacher. I have eyes everywhere.

- Please don't tell anyone. Only people with flyers get invited.

- My mouth is shut. I won't say anything.

- Thank you so much.

- It's ok to share your problems. You never know who can help you.

- I know, but it's not that easy. There are some things I want to keep private.

- You should trust people more. Not everyone will hurt you.

- Why do you say this?

- Because I have noticed you don't share much. Maybe someone has hurt you.

- No, but I expect it to happen.

- This is your mistake. I think you should be more positive. Good people exist.

- They are rare.

- You are one of them. Enjoy your life. You are young only once.

- I will try. Nothing else has left me.

- Correct. Your teenage years will end soon. Enjoy the moment.

- Thanks, and I'm sorry again.

- I'll pretend it didn't happen.

Sometimes, I say things I don't mean. I try to be nice to everyone, but it's not always working. I spent the rest of the school day thinking about the party. It doesn't say who is the host. There is only an address. I checked the halls. There were no other flyers. Maybe someone took them. After my last class, I went to visit my grandpa. I don't need permission. I want to talk about it with a proper adult. It means my mom can't help me. At least it won't be the way I want.

- Zoe, come in. You can help me with my crossword.

- No problem. How many words have left you?

- A few. Do you know these?

- Greek god with five letters. I have no clue. Don't you have easier ones?

- I already solved them.

- I don't think I can help you.

- Don't worry. I'll check the answers.

- Can we talk about something? I can't talk about it with my mom.

- Is it a boy?

- What? No. Where did that come from?

- You said you couldn't talk with your mom.

- I found this in school. Do you think I should go? - I asked and gave him the flyer

- Why are you even asking me? Go and have fun. You deserve it.

- I don't want to leave my mom alone. Also, I haven't been to one in a long time.

- Don't think about your mom. She will be fine. We are here.

- It's not your job to take care of her.

- I'm her dad. It's my job to do it.

- She won't get better, will she?

- I'm hoping for the best. Now seriously. Go to that party. Have fun with people your age.

- What if something happens?

- You can call us. We'll come to pick you up.

- Are you sure about this?

- Yes, I am. Nothing will happen. You might find friends.

- I can try.

I helped my grandpa with his new crossword. He checked the answers for the missing words. That became his hobby. He knows more words than me. I stayed with him for some time. Grandma should come home soon. I decided to leave them alone. I don't need to be here every day. I have a house and a mother. She is supposed to take care of me. I went to home to check on her. She was sleeping in front of a movie. The wine bottle was half empty. I have no idea what to do with her.

- Mom, wake up. We have to eat dinner.

- Leave me alone.

- Can you at least make me dinner?

- No. Go and eat something.

- Fine. Did you leave some food?

- I don't know.

- The whole fridge is empty. I refilled it two days ago. Where is all the food?

- It has expired, and I threw it away.

- It wasn't expired. I always check the expiration date before buying food. Where is it?

- I threw it away. It smelled disgusting.

- What am I supposed to eat now?

- I don't know. Go and get something.

- I did it two days ago!

- Stop shouting. You hurt my ears.

- Can't you, for once, do something right? Please.

- Leave me alone. Go and eat with your grandparents. They have food.

- I can't stay there all the time.

- Why not? At least you won't hear your annoying voice every day.

- What?

- You keep shouting at me for every single thing I do.

- Because you never do anything right.

- I will do whatever I want. You can't tell me anything. I'm the adult here.

- Then act like one. Start going out and get a job.

- Not every adult has a job.

- Yes, they have. I think you should do it, too. We need money.

- No, you need them.

- Without money, you won't get wine.

- I know where to get some.

- What?

- Your spot is not so secretive.

- You have to be kidding me.

- No, I'm not.

I rushed into my room. I left five hundred dollars in one of my drawers hidden under books. How the heck did my mom find them? Now, we have nothing. Grandma gave me these two weeks ago. I have spent a hundred dollars on food. I kept everything else for emergencies. It's enough that she pays our bills. I can't ask her for more money. It's time for me to have a credit card. I didn't want to do it, but I have to. Otherwise, my mom will keep spending everything. I laid on the bed and took my phone. Soon, I received a call.

- Hey.

- Zach? What do you want?

- Nothing. I only wanted to check on you. Are you ok?

- Not really.

- I believe you won't tell me.

- No. Do you want something? I'm not in the mood to talk with anyone.

- I don't need anything from you.

- I'm sorry about all this. I have too many things in my head.

- Don't worry. If you want, I will leave you.

- No! I mean, you don't have to do it. I have nothing else to do.

- I can come, but I bet you won't let me in.

- Now, it's not the time for this. I will do it one day.

- How long do I have to wait?

- Enough. I don't know what else to tell you.

- How bad is it?

- The worst thing ever. I don't know how long I can survive.

- Don't you have someone who can help you with that?

- My grandparents help me enough.

- What about your parents?

- They do it as well. I have to deal with this alone.

- Asking for help is not a crime.

- Yes, but you can't rely on someone all the time.

- Do you want my help?

- I do, but you can't help me with this.

- Why are you so sure?

- Because all the people who tried failed.

- I might be different.

- I doubt it. Anyway. It doesn't matter that much. How was your day?

- It was good. I don't know if I have told you, but one of my friends has a secret girlfriend.

- Why a secret?

- Because he never told us.

- Let him enjoy it. Everyone deserves it.

- She moved to another town.

- Oh. All you can do is be next to him.

- I'm trying. No one else knows about this.

Zach and I talked for an hour. I appreciate that he checks on me. I have no idea why he does it, but this feels nice. I need to figure out what to do with my mom. She is impossible. I can't leave money at home anymore. She will turn the house upside down until she finds them. The question is what she did with them. I'm sure she didn't go out. Maybe she ordered something online. Some stores offer delivery. I don't understand how she spent five hundred dollars. They could've served us for the rest of the month. Grandma won't like it. I hope that my mom will change one day.