THE FORGOTTEN SPRING

"THE FORGOTTEN SPRING" by: Dark Flame Master KAI'S POV They say childhood memories fade as we grow older. Sometimes, those memories even change over time, becoming blurry or different from what they were. Whoever said that must have had a pretty normal life growing up. I wish I could say the same. But no, I remember mine too clearly, and I hate that I do. If forgetting was an option, I’d take it. Every time I think about it, I can’t help but feel disgusted by the human touch. Just the thought of experiencing something like that again makes me feel sick. That’s why I keep my distance from people. It’s better this way—safe and far from any unnecessary pain. “ai... Kai… OYY KAI!” A loud slam on my desk snapped me out of my thoughts. It was Hana. She was standing in front of me, looking annoyed as always. “Huh? What?” I asked, blinking up at her. She sighed and sat back down in her chair in front of me. “Are you daydreaming again? Anyway, like I was saying, JC’s birthday is coming up this Saturday. Let’s go out and celebrate!” I glanced over at Cyrus, who was sitting beside me. He was also waiting for my answer. “I’m not going,” I said firmly. “But I’ll give you your gift, don’t worry.” Before Hana could reply, Kerk spoke up from my other side. “You’re wasting your time asking him,” Kerk said as he rubbed sunscreen on his face. “We’ve been friends since second year, and he’s never liked going out. You should know that by now.” “But it’s our last year in high school!” Hana argued, reaching over to mess up Kerk’s so-called skincare routine. “What if he changes his mind? Nee, Kai, konkai dake onegai!" (A/N: Come on, Kai! Just this once please) “Never. I’m not changing my mind,” I said flatly. “And Kerk, could you stop putting girly stuff on your face? Don’t you know some girls think you’re gay because of that and please get a haircut?” But Kerk didn’t even look bothered. “Hey, hey, stop that, Kai,” Cyrus said, standing up to sit next to Kerk. “You promised you’d give me my gift, so that’s good enough for me.” I nodded, glad Cyrus wasn’t pushing me like Hana was. “So,” Hana started, her tone mischievous, “any updates on THAT girl?” The three of them turned to look at me, their faces full of amusement. “Heh, who would’ve thought that Kai—the guy who doesn’t care about love—would have a crush on someone?” Kerk teased. “Right? It’s hilarious!” Cyrus burst out laughing, leaning over to mess with Kerk’s hair. “Hey! Stop laughing, John!” I shot back. That wiped the grin off his face. Cyrus hated being called by his first name. His irritated, gloomy expression came back instantly as he walked toward me. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” he muttered. “Why did my parents even name me John? It’s such an ugly name.” “Hmph!, I don’t care. That’s your name, so I’m gonna call you that,” I teased. “John, John, John!” “Fine, do whatever you want,” he grumbled. Then his teasing tone returned. “But don’t forget, you’re the shy guy with a crush on one of the cutest girls in school—someone who doesn’t even know you exist! HAHAHA!” Before I could respond, Hana suddenly said, “Mite!, I mean look, it’s Eli.” My eyes immediately darted toward the window. There she was, walking across the school yard, her smile as bright and sweet as always. Eli. I couldn’t stop staring at her. How could anyone not like her? She’s cute, pretty, kind, and her smile is enough to make anyone’s day better. She’s… perfect. Of course, I’d never tell her that. Talking to her? Yeah, right. Just the thought of it makes my heart race in the worst way. What if she thinks I’m annoying? What if she looks at me like I’m some weirdo? I can’t handle that. I glanced away from the window, trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. “She doesn’t even know you, man,” Kerk said, smirking at me. “Yeah, how do normal people even have the courage to talk to someone they barely know?” I muttered, half to myself. “Isn’t that kind of… weird?” The others laughed, but I wasn’t joking. The idea of walking up to her and starting a conversation felt impossible. What would I even say? “Hi, I like your smile”? No! “What’s your favorite subject?” Lame. “Do you like… stuff?” Absolutely not. The more I thought about it, the more annoying it became. I was fine with just watching her from a distance. At least this way, I wouldn’t risk embarrassing myself. . . . . As the day went on, I couldn’t focus in class. My mind kept drifting back to Eli. I’d steal glances at her whenever I thought no one was looking. She was sitting two rows ahead, her long hair tucked behind her ear as she wrote in her notebook. “She’s just so… perfect,” I thought to myself. “Earth to Kai,” Kerk whispered, poking my shoulder. “You’re zoning out again. Thinking about your little crush?” I glared at him, but he just laughed. “Kai has a crush, Kai has a crush,” he sang softly, annoying me further. “Shut up, Kerk,” I hissed. “Relax, I’m just messing with you,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “But seriously, why don’t you just talk to her?” “I can’t,” I replied quickly. “Why not?” “Because… I just can’t, okay?” He raised an eyebrow but didn’t push me further. . . . . During lunch, the four of us sat at our usual table. Hana was scrolling through her phone, Kerk was fixing his hair, and Cyrus was busy eating. “Ne, Kai,” Hana said, not looking up from her phone. “Eli ga kimi no tokoro ni kite hanashikakete kitara, dou suru?” (A/N:What would you do if Eli came to you and talks to you?) I froze. The thought made my chest tighten. “...shinu...kamo,” I admitted. (A/N: I'd probably die) The three of them burst out laughing. “Come on, it wouldn’t be that bad,” Cyrus said, grinning. “You say that because you’re not me,” I muttered. “Maybe you should practice,” Hana suggested. “Hora, roleplay toka sa.” (A/N: You know, like roleplay) “Roleplay?” I asked, confused. “Yeah, like pretend one of us is Eli and practice talking to her,” she explained. “That’s stupid,” I said. “No, it’s not! It could help!” Before I could argue, Cyrus stood up and struck a dramatic pose. “Hi, I’m Eli,” he said in a high-pitched voice, pretending to flip his imaginary hair. The table erupted in laughter, except for me. “Stop it, Cyrus,” I said, feeling my face heat up. “Why? This is your chance to practice!” he teased. I buried my face in my hands, wishing the ground would swallow me whole. . . . . The day finally ended, and I was relieved to be heading home. As I walked out of the school gates, I saw Eli again. She was talking to her friends, laughing about something. I stopped for a moment, just watching her from a distance. “She’s so out of my league,” I thought. But even though I knew that, I couldn’t help but hope—just a little—that maybe, someday, I’d find the courage to talk to her. For now, though, I was fine with admiring her from afar. At least this way, I wouldn’t risk ruining anything. It’s fine like this. I’m fine. Or at least, that’s what I kept telling myself.