THE FORGOTTEN SPRING

CHAPTER 16

"THE FORGOTTEN SPRING"

by: Dark Flame Master

HARU'S POV

The dream came suddenly. It was one I hadn’t had in years but remained vivid, like an old scar that never really healed.

"Haru-chan, ashita mata aou ne. Iitai koto ga arunda. Yakusoku da yo," (Haru-chan, let’s meet again tomorrow. I have something to say to you. Promise,) his innocent smile shining under the soft light of the sakura trees.

“Wakatta. Yoru ni aeru? Mama ga isogashii kara, soto ni dete mo barenai" (Okay. Can we meet in the afternoon? My mom is busy, so she won’t see me going outside.)

“Iyo,” (Okay) he said, nodding. His voice echoed faintly as the dream blurred, pulling me out of the memory and into the harsh reality of my room.

“Haru! Haru! HARU! Are you in your room? Open the door!” Dad’s shouting made me fully awake. First thing in the morning, and he was already yelling. Why did I have to dream about that liar today? It was a terrible way to start the day. I groaned, pulling the blanket over my head to drown out the noise. My body felt heavy, the sleeping pills I had taken the night before still weighed me down.

“HARU!”

“Alright! I’m awake! Stop shouting! Doushita?” I muttered, dragging myself to the door and opening. Dad stood there, arms crossed, looking as frustrated as ever. “Your therapist called again. You missed another appointment. How many times is this now?”

I sighed, running a hand through my messy hair. “I’m fine now. Why do I need to go? I’m not crazy.” I brushed past him, not wanting to hear the same lecture.

As I walked toward the living room, Yuki-chan, my adorable little sister, ran up to me, giggling. “Ah, haru-niichan, kami hen da, hahahaha!” (Your hair is weird) she teased, pointing at my bed head.

“Huh? Dare ga hen datte? Yuki-chan, ohayou. Oide, boku no purinsesu.” (Huh? Who are you calling weird? Goodmorning yuki-chan. Come here my princess.) I crouched down, wrapping her in a big hug. Her laugh was infectious, momentarily pushing away the heaviness in my chest.

“Hey, Haru, come back here!” Dad’s voice followed me, but I ignored him, focusing on Yuki-chan.

"Mite yo, Yuki-chan, Tou-san ga mata kowai yo! Tasukete!" (Look, Yuki-chan, Dad is being scary again. Save me!)

“Tou-san, Haru-niichan wo ijimenai de!” (Dad, don't bully haru-niichan!) Yuki-chan said, pouting at him. Dad’s stern expression softened immediately. Yuki-chan was his weakness, she's just so cute.

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Mom joined me in the living room as I sat on the couch, flipping through channels. “Haru-kun, gakkou wa tanoshikata?” (Is school fun?) she asked, sitting beside me.

“Un,” (Yeah) I replied, keeping my eyes on the screen.

“Tomodachi yonde mo ii no yo." (You can invite your friends over, you know,) she said, her voice gentle but probing.

"Daijoubu. Tomodachi inai shi, Yuki-chan dake de juubun da." (It’s fine. I don’t have friends. Yuki-chan is enough for me.) I said, shrugging.

Mom’s face fell slightly, and I could see the concern in her eyes. “Hontou ni daijoubu? Hontou? Therapy toka iranai no?" (Are you really fine? Are you sure? You don’t need therapy?) Her tone made my stomach twist. Whenever she brought up therapy, it felt like she regretted adopting me, like she thought I was broken beyond repair.

I leaned closer, wrapping my arms around her. “Daijoubu, kaa-san. Boku wa heiki da yo. Mata are ga okinai you ni chanto jibun wo osaeru kara." (It’s okay, Mom. I’m fine. I promise I’ll control myself if you’re worried about... it happening again.) My voice softened. “I’ll be good. Don’t worry.”

She hugged me back, her arms warm but hesitant. “If you ever feel like talking about it, you can always come to me,” she said.

I nodded, pulling away. "Chotto dekakete kuru ne. Sugu modoru." (I’m going out for a bit. I’ll be back soon.)

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Where should I go now? Should I go back to that park again? It’s not like going there will change anything. What am I doing? This is all pointless. It’s not like I would see him again. But… what if I did? Maybe that dream means something. Maybe it’s a sign. Should I go back? What if… he’s waiting for me? Or what if he never wants to see me? This will be the last time. I’m never doing this again. But who am I fooling? I always say that, and I always come back.

As I walk towards the park, the familiar sight of sakura petals drifting in the wind greets me. They’re scattered across the path, soft pink against the dull gray road. The scene feels like a memory, taking me back to that day. That day when everything felt so perfect, and yet it all went wrong.

My heart starts to race as I near the park. I’ve practiced this moment over and over again in my head. What I’ll say to him when I finally see him again. How I’ll confront him. I’ll punch him first—make him feel just a fraction of the pain I felt. Then I’ll ask him why. Why didn’t he come that day? Why did he break his promise? I want to make him feel what I felt back then.

As I enter the park, my eyes immediately go to the bench where I always sit. But this time, someone else is there. There’s a guy sitting on my bench, his head bowed, his shoulders trembling slightly.

“What’s wrong with that guy?” I mutter to myself. “Naitteru?" (Is he crying?)

I hesitate for a moment, debating whether to leave. It’s not like I was expecting to see him today anyway. But then… I hear a voice.

“When will these tears stop?” the guy whispers, his voice trembling as he looks up at the sakura tree above him.

My heart stops. That voice. Huh? Kai? I freeze, staring at him. Is that really him? My breath catches in my throat, and my mind starts to race. That’s Kai, right? That’s him.

“Am I seeing things?” I whisper, pinching my cheek hard enough to sting. It hurts. This is real. That’s him.

Or maybe… it’s not. Maybe it’s just someone who looks like him.

I take a shaky step forward, my heart pounding so loud it feels like it’s in my ears. Before I know it, the words slip out of my mouth. “Ano… sumimasen.” (Um… Excuse me.) What am I doing? Why am I talking to him?

He looks up at me, his eyes wide and filled with fear. My chest tightens at the sight. He looks so scared.

“Daijoubu? Yappari daijoubu ja nai yo ne… ano…” (Are you okay? I guess you’re not… um…) Why do I care if he’s okay? He deserves whatever happened to him. He’s a liar. He broke his promise. He left me behind.

“I… I need to go home,” he says, his voice shaking. My stomach drops as he starts to stand. Why is he leaving? Where is he going?

I don’t know what comes over me, but before I can stop myself, I reach out and grab his wrist.

“H-hanashite! D-dare nano?” (L-let go of me! W-who are you?) he stammers, his eyes wide with panic.

What? After all this time, he doesn’t remember me? Is this some kind of joke? “Oboete nai no? Boku da yo, Haru.” (Don’t you remember me? It’s me, Haru.)

“Yatto mata aeta ne. Ureshii na!” (We finally met again. I’m so happy!) The words spill out of me, words I didn’t plan to say. My arms move on their own, wrapping around him in a hug. Why am I hugging him? Why am I smiling?

“Daisuki! Meccha suki!” (I love you! I like you a lot!) No. This isn’t what I wanted to do. This isn’t what I practiced. But… I guess… deep down, I still like him.

His body stiffens in my arms, and then he shoves me away with more force than I expect. “Ha... hanarero yo! Kimochi warui! Gay! Homo!” (Le… let go of me! You’re disgusting!) he yells, glaring at me with disgust in his eyes.

The words hit me like a slap. I stumble back, frozen in place as he turns and runs away. I want to chase after him. My legs twitch, but they refuse to move.

“He doesn’t remember me,” I mutter, my voice cracking. "Demo...suki" (But… I still like him.) The sakura petals fall around me as I stand there, alone, staring at the spot where he disappeared.

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When I got home that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about Kai. The way he looked at me, the fear in his eyes, the words he said—they kept replaying in my head, like a broken record I couldn’t turn off.

I went straight to my parents. “kaa-san, Tou-san, can I transfer schools?”

My dad frowned immediately, setting down his newspaper. “What? Why would you want to do that? You like your school, don’t you?”

“I just… I need to transfer. Please. There’s someone I need to see. Someone important.”

He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly skeptical. “This isn’t like you, Haru. Who’s so important that you need to leave your school?”

I hesitated for a moment before blurting out, “I’ll do anything you want if you let me transfer. Even therapy.”

That got his attention. My dad had been nagging me for years about going to therapy, but I always refused. He looked at me like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. My mom stayed quiet, watching me with concern in her eyes.

“You’ll go to therapy?” he asked, his voice serious.

I nodded. “Yes. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.”

He sighed, rubbing his temples, and glanced at my mom. She gave him a small nod. “Alright. If this is what you want, we’ll look into transferring you. But you’re keeping your promise about therapy.”

Relief flooded through me. “Arigatou!” (Thank you!)

It didn’t take long to figure out which school Kai went to. I recognized the uniform he was wearing that day—it belonged to the international school not too far from here. When I finally transferred, I made sure to request his class specifically.

The first time I saw him in class, my heart felt like it was going to explode. He was sitting near the window, chatting with a few of his friends. He looked so… normal, so at ease with them. He smiled at something one of them said, and my chest tightened.

He was still so cute. Even more than I remembered.

But then I noticed something strange—he was wearing a mask. A plain, black face mask that covered the lower half of his face. Why was he hiding his face? It didn’t make sense.

When the teacher asked if I knew anyone in class, I couldn’t help but grin. “Shitteru no?” the teacher asked. (You know him?)

“Un, Kai-chan wa boku no kare—” (Yeah, he’s my boy-)

Kai’s head snapped towards me, his eyes widening in shock. Even though he was glaring at me, he still looked cute.

“Iya, osananajimi da yo.” (I mean, my childhood friend.)

He didn’t say anything, just turned back to his desk, clearly annoyed. But that was fine. I’d decided—I was going to make him remember me, no matter what.

Two weeks passed, and he still refused to talk to me. He didn’t talk to me. He didn’t even look at me unless I forced him to. But I wasn’t giving up. I’d waited years for this moment—I wasn’t going to let him slip away now. I started speaking to him in Japanese, thinking it might trigger something.

I also couldn’t stop wondering about the mask. He wore it every single day, even during lunch. How did he even eat with it on? The only time I saw his bare face was during PE class.

And honestly… he didn’t seem like the same person I remembered. He was quiet, withdrawn. He fidgeted with his hands a lot when he was alone, like he was nervous about something. He barely talked to anyone except for a few close friends.

But there was one thing I noticed that made my blood boil. He kept staring at a girl.

Her name was Eli Mazon. I didn’t know much about her, but every time I saw him glance in her direction, it felt like a knife to my chest. Why was he looking at her? What was so special about her? Was she the reason he was crying that day in the park?

I heard from someone that she was dating another guy. If that’s true, then what’s the point of him looking at her? She’s not even that pretty! I’m better than her. I can give him what he needs.

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It wasn’t hard to figure out where he lived. I started following him after school, just to make sure he got home safely. It wasn’t stalking—it was just looking out for him.

His house was a bit on a route completely different from mine. But that didn’t matter. I didn’t care how long it took to get home after. As long as I knew he was safe, it was worth it.

He might think I’m a stalker, but he doesn’t understand. I just want to protect him. I just want to be close to him again.

No matter what it takes, I’m going to make him remember me. I’m going to make him see that I’m still here, waiting for him. Because no matter how much time has passed, no matter how much he’s changed… I still love him.

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“Ja, doushite Eli o miru tabi ni naki sou na kao shiteru no?” (Then, why do you always look like you’re about to cry every time you see her?)

As soon as I said it, I knew I’d messed up. Stop, Haru. You’re going to ruin everything. Watching him walk ahead of me, so far out of reach, it hit me. He didn’t care. To him, I was nothing.

~Anta nanka nan no kachi mo nai! DARE MO ANTA WO AISURU WAKE NAI DESHO! Nande undandarou?~ (You’re nothing! NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE YOU! Why did I even give birth to you?)

Her voice rang out in my head, sharp and cruel, drowning out my thoughts. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I clenched my fists, trying to shove her voice away, trying not to let her take over. You promised, Haru. You said you’d control yourself. Don’t let her win.

“What’s wrong?” Kai’s voice broke through my spiral. “Is it not good?”

I looked at him, and something inside me snapped. The words burst out of me, raw and unfiltered.

“I SAID, YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST, BUT YOU’RE NOT BEING HONEST WITH ME!” Why was I yelling? My voice felt foreign, like it belonged to someone else. Control it, Haru. You’re going to hurt him. Stop. “FINE! I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. WHY DID I DO THIS? BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU’D REMEMBER ME! WHY CAN’T I LIKE YOU? YOU PROMISED—”

“H-Hey, calm down!” Kai interrupted, his voice sharp but shaky. “Why are you yelling?”

“I’ve been looking for you for so long… I even wanted to give up,” I said, my voice breaking. “You promised we’d meet again, but you didn’t come that day. I like you, but hearing you say I can’t even do that really hurts! Do you even know what happened to me? No, because you’re a liar!”

This wasn’t what I wanted to say. This wasn’t how I wanted this to go.

~Jibun wo damasanaide yo, Haru. Kore ga hontou ni nozonderu kotodesho?~ (Don’t fool yourself, Haru. Isn’t this what you really want?) Her voice came back, taunting me.

Shut up! No, it’s not! I like him. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to be like you.

“Hey, stop crying. You’re being weird,” Kai said, his voice awkward and unsure. But I couldn’t stop. The tears kept falling, and the words kept coming.

“You’re right. Who could ever love a guy like me? You can easily forget about me. How can you easily say goodbye to me? I’m better off gone. But you know what? She won’t love you the way you want her to. What’s the point of liking her when she doesn’t even see you?”

Kai’s expression hardened, his eyes flashing with anger. “You’re hurt, so why blame it on me?” he yelled.

Then he shoved me. I stumbled back, falling to the ground. “Tell that to yourself, you disgusting p*****t who likes guys!” he shouted.

I froze. His words hit me like a slap. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. My chest felt tight, like I couldn’t breathe. I hurt him. I didn’t mean to.

Her voice came back, louder this time, mocking me, drowning me in shame. ~Demo, hito wo kizutsukeru no ga suki nandesho? Umu beki janakatta."~ (But you like to hurt people. I shouldn’t have given birth to you.)

“Shut the f**k up!” I yelled, my voice shaking with rage. “I’m not like you, you f*****g b***h!”

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After what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about Kai. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I always do. Every time I try to get close, I ruin it. And this time, I went too far.

I kissed him.

I didn’t know about his PTSD. Is that why Cyrus is always watching over him? I couldn’t get the image of him panicking out of my mind. The way he looked—so small, so scared—it reminded me of myself.

When I went to his house to apologize, his mom was kind but distant. She told me to wait while my uniform dried. So, I stayed, sitting quietly in his room. I glanced at Kai, lying on his bed, asleep but clearly restless. His face was scrunched up, and he looked so stressed even while sleeping.

“I’m sorry... I’m really sorry... Gomene, Kai-chan,” I whispered under my breath. Then, out of nowhere, he jolted awake.

“No... no... No! Ugh... No! Don’t touch me!” he cried, thrashing around as tears streamed down his face. He didn’t even notice I was there.

“What’s wrong with him?” I muttered, frozen for a moment before I tried to calm him down.

“No! I’m not... I’m not dirty... haa... I’m not!” he screamed, his whole body trembling. My chest tightened as I watched him fall apart. What happened to you, Kai? Who did this to you?

“I need to call your mom,” I said, panicking. But before I could stand, his voice stopped me.

“S-Stay here,” he whimpered, his eyes wide and filled with desperation. “Don’t leave me alone. H-Hug me.”

I stared at him, shocked. Did he just say that? Is he really asking me to hug him? He’d been ignoring me all this time, yet now he was clinging to me like I was the only thing keeping him grounded.

“Please... Haru... I don’t want to feel... the touch of that... disgusting guy,” he murmured, his voice breaking.

He said my name. It had been so long since I’d heard him say my name. My heart felt like it was going to burst. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close.

“Calm down,” I said softly, trying to keep my voice steady. “You’re fine. It’s okay. Don’t worry.”

He buried his face in my chest, shaking, and I felt his warm tears soak into my skin. That’s when I noticed his gaze shift. He was staring at my scar.

I stiffened for a moment, then forced a smile. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing,” I said casually, hoping he wouldn’t freak out. Most people do. They always look at me like I’m disgusting when they see it.

“That must hurt a lot,” he said, his voice soft and genuine.

I blinked, caught off guard. It was the first time someone had said something like that to me. He wasn’t disgusted. He just looked... sad. My heart swelled. I really like him. I swear, I’ll protect you, Kai. No matter what.

But just as I was comforting him, out of nowhere, someone punched me. It was his dad. I stumbled back, holding my cheek. I didn’t even have time to explain before he started yelling, but Kai’s mom stepped in and calmed him down.

Before I left, I exchanged phone numbers with his mom. She seemed hesitant, but I needed to keep in touch. I wanted to ask what happened to Kai, why he was in therapy, why he’d changed so much. But no matter how many questions I asked, they wouldn’t tell me anything.

As I walked home, my mind was racing. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything I’d seen, everything I’d heard.

Who was that “disgusting guy” he mentioned?

Why is he so scared?

What happened to him?

I clenched my fists. If they won’t tell me, I’ll find out myself. I’ll ask Cyrus tomorrow. He knows something. He has to.