ECHOES OF US

My sigh floated into the silence,heavy with sorrow,as I slowly opened my eyes to the shabby ceiling above me,its corners crowded with cobwebs. I tried to turn over but my body refused,so I lay there,tears sliding freely down my cheeks without any obstruction. I don’t know how long I stayed like that before I finally dragged myself out of bed. The house around me was a total mess,dust everywhere,clothes tossed carelessly across the floor,empty alcohol bottles scattered everywhere. The air reeked of cheap liquor,its stench crawling into my lungs like a second skin. In the corner rodents bickered over the cold remains of yesterday’s pizza. I stumbled into the kitchen and brewed my usual “herbal tea”,that's what I called it. In reality it was nothing but “Seraphelin seeds”,a rare plant from deep,mist-covered valleys.its leaves were harmless,almost sweet when dried,but the tiny amber seeds held the poison. The strangest thing was that it didn’t do anything. Not yet. I drank it every morning,waiting for it to burn me away,waiting for it to end me…but all it gave me silence I slipped a slice of bread into the toaster and carried my mug of Seraphelin tea back into the room,slipping slowly. My phone was nowhere in sight until I dug through a heap of dirty and clean clothes,both tangled together like they had given up on being sorted. Buried beneath was my phone,the screen lit up with notifications and missed calls. Most of the messages were from my boss,demanding,nagging,same words over and over telling me to come to work. It was Saturday. My freedom day. To hell with him,I muttered and shoved the phone aside The toaster clicked. I placed the bread on a plate and wandered into the sitting room. Unlike my bedroom,the space was neat,almost sparkling. Not because I cared but because this was just a room for visitors. Colleagues from work who sometimes forced their way into my home,who smiled too brightly and looked around too much. The room existed for their eyes,not mine I dropped unto the couch,stretching my legs across the table,plate balanced on my lap,with the remote in hand,I flicked on the TV letting the noise fill the emptiness. The house was too quiet,the voices from the screen filled the air,meaningless chatter echoing through a space that felt far too big for one person. The doorbell rang. There could only be one person at the door. I quickly grabbed my half finished Seraphelin tea,rushed into the kitchen and dumped It down the drain. Running a hand through my tangled hair,I tried to fix myself up as best as I could before sprinting to the door. One glance at the camera confirmed it -him I opened the door and was nearly swallowed by his energy. “Alayna,baby! You look wretched as always”,he laughed,pulling me into a hug. I smiled despite myself. This was Nathan–my best friend,a doctor,super handsome and tragically uninterested in girls. “Want me to fix you up?”he teased ,his grin annoyingly perfect. I slipped out of his hug and headed towards the couch. “Nah, I'm good”. He trailed after me like a shadow. “We're going clubbing tonight,remember? you promised”. His voice was way too excited for a Saturday morning. I rolled my eyes, wishing I had forgotten. Sadly I hadn't “Say something, b***h!” Nathan yelled,shaking me from behind “Yhyh”, I muttered,slipping free of his grip and collapsing onto the couch “Yay!” He cheered like he had won something. He dropped down beside me,eyeing the toast on my plate. He pinched it between two fingers, holding it up like it was toxic waste. “b***h what is this? There is no jam,no butter, nothing. Why are you eating like you are so broke and can’t afford an actual meal?” His voice climbed with mock anger. I sighed,snatched the toast back and shoved it into my mouth. It was dry and tasteless,sticking to my throat,but I forced a fake smile,I said, “That was a good meal”. Nathan’s face dropped into pure disappointment “Meal? b***h, that wouldn’t even satisfy a homeless child” “I'm going to order chicken soup and rice,it will be here in like ten minutes”, Nathan said,already grabbing his phone to place the order. I shifted and rested my head on his lap,letting the noise of the movie distract me while he tapped on his screen. When he was done,his hand fell gently to my head, fingers combing through my hair. The sudden tenderness nearly broke me “Lana”,he whispered,his voice really low, laced with worry, “you look really thin. Aren’t you eating at all? I know work is stressful,but you have to try and eat more and rest more. And if you need money or anything…you know you can always come to me, right?” His hand stilled. “You are not…trying to kill yourself again, are you? And you’ve stopped taking that herbal tea of yours–seraphilin?” I tilted my head to meet his gaze,forcing a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “Yes sir”. The lie slipped out easily. If I had told him the truth, he’d lose his mind, drag me back to his apartment and never let me live on my own again. It had taken weeks of convincing and begging to make him let me come back here the first time The doorbell rang. “That was fast”, I said, lifting my head from Nathan’s lap and glancing toward the door. “The food already?” “I'll get it”, Nate replied, hopping up. He checked the camera, his grin spreading wide. “That's not the food,right?” I muttered, rolling my eyes Nate nodded, excitement buzzing off him as he pulled the door open. A petite girl, burst inside and flew straight into his arms. Her golden blonde hair tumbled in soft waves to her shoulders, her fair skin glowing like she stepped out of a skincare ad. Wide hazel eyes lit up her whole face and a button nose crinkled as she smiled. Even in sneakers and plain crop top with ripped jeans, she radiated that effortlessly “cute” energy people like me could never fake. “Nathan my darling!” She squealed, spinning with him in the doorway like the world had stopped for her reunion. Nathan laughed holding her close. “I thought you were the food we ordered”. “Food? You two ordered without me?”she gasped, burying her head against his shoulder in mock betrayal. “Relax, I ordered for you” Nathan teased, patting her back. “Besides, our dear Lana has not been eating well”. Her hazel eyes snapped toward me instantly. Without hesitation, she darted across the room and launched into my arms “you are not getting rid of me tonight, Lana”, Holly whispered. And from the mischievous look in her eyes,I realized my quiet little Saturday had been hijacked.