Forever and Always

Chapter Twenty Seven: Archer

Archer

“Jo. s**t. Slow down. What the f**k is going on?” I asked as she pulled me out of the club, the thumping of the music was slowly going away. I wanted that damn dance because she looked amazing, but something inside me was telling me something was wrong. I felt it deep in my bones. I was so confused and I still am. I wanted to be pissed, but I couldn’t be. Right now, all I want is answers, but she won’t look at me. She won’t talk to me. She’s panicking, and it’s scaring the f**k out of me to the point I cannot fully appreciate what she’s wearing.

I mean, I can appreciate it a bit. Her ass was slightly exposed in the light blue thong under the damn baby doll she's wearing, making me instantly hard, but the thought of taking her right now was the last thing on my mind.

Because something is wrong.

I looked down at my hand, where her hand was holding mine as she was pulling me to the dressing room and my eyes widened. What the f**k happened to her hand?

“Jo?” I questioned as she shut the door behind her and rushed to where I assumed was her bag. There were tons of bags here and hey, I might be a dude, but I know the bags of the girls in my life anywhere, because I’ve carried enough of them on vacations to last a lifetime, “Why are everyone’s bags here?”

“One second.” She mumbled as she pulled out her clothes. She slipped on a pair of black leggings, jumping a bit to get them up over her hips while she slipped on some flip-flops. She grabbed a hoodie and slipped it on before flipping her head over so she could grab her loose blonde locks into a messy bun.

Even in leggings and a hoodie, she’s still fuckin’ stunning.

She grabbed the rest of her things and threw them in her bag, grabbing my hand again and pulling me out the door and through some side door I didn’t know existed, “Woah, Jo. Slow down.” I said as she continued pulling me.

“Did you bring your jeep?” she asked softly, but with a bit of panic in her voice. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. I instantly froze a bit, looking around, on edge, seeing if something was wrong that I could see at the moment. The area was dark, but there was nothing amiss.

“Yeah. The jeep is around the corner. Jo, what’s going on?” I pulled her to a stop, turning her towards me. Her lips were trembling and tears were streaming down her face as she looked into my eyes, “Baby, what’s going on?” I asked softer this time, cupping her face with my palm, using my thumb to wipe away her tears, “What’s making you cry?”

“I can’t… I can’t talk about it here. We need to go somewhere quiet, alone.” She let out a sigh, “It’s important and…I just…I don’t know how you’re going to react.”

“Well, we never know until we talk about it, right? Besides, how bad could it be?” I chuckled, but she didn’t. Fear washed over her eyes instantly as her breath hitched.

“You don’t understand-“ but before she could finish, the door we were standing at opened and out came Taylor with a knee-length silk robe wrapped around her with Drew and Gage behind her, carrying her two bags. Why this girl needed two is beyond me, but I don’t question things like that anymore.

“Jo…we talked about this.” Taylor sighed as she came over to her and pulled her into her arms, “We talked about this.” She repeated. I looked at my cousin and my girl, arms wrapped around each other, both of them crying.

What the f**k? Taylor doesn’t cry. I don’t remember the last time she did. She looked over at me and quickly adverted her eyes. Hell no.

“Okay, someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on now before I lose my damn mind.” I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at the four of them in front of me. No one made a sound. They all just looked at each other, speaking with their eyes in complete silence, “This is bullshit. Whatever is going on obviously involves me and I have a damn right to know.”

“You’re right.” Drew said as he came over and gripped my shoulder, “You do have a right to know, but right here and right now is not the right time to discuss this.” He pursed his lips and turned back to the others and gave them a nod, “Let’s get out of here and to our place. I think that would be a better place for this conversation. This way, you two can have a chance to talk on the way back home.”

“Um, okay?” I was so confused, and I hated it when they did this crap. Just come out and tell me already! Jeeze. I let out a huff as we walked to my jeep, the three of them hopping in the back with Taylor sitting in Gage's lap while Jo went up front with me.

The ride to their place was quiet, way too freaken quiet and awkward for my liking. “So…are the others still there?”

“Yeah. They are going to do what they planned and then the girls got a couple of suites at the hotel around the corner for them to stay in tonight so they can have a night to themselves, kidless.” Taylor yawned and snuggled into Gage while Drew pulled her feet up and put them into her lap.

“Were you guys really, ya know, going to dance?” I smirked, “Because hell, I would have loved to see you dancing just for me.” I winked at Jo, making her blush.

“That was the plan. Loretta, she owns the lounge portion of the club, was having an amateur night where the winner got a nice chunk of change and well, with all of us on the stage, we were bound to win, and we were going to use that for a vacation or something fun.” Taylor shrugged, “But, ya know, our lives suck and things happen, and we roll with the punches the best we can before we cause havoc and punch people in the nose and break them.” She threw her head back and laughed at Jo turned and snapped her head, sending her a glare.

“Not now, psycho.” She said through gritted teeth. Yeah, whatever happened back there, I’m not going to like it.

We pulled into their complex and made our way to their living room. Jo grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together, but I couldn’t help but notice her hand was trembling. Her face was white as a damn ghost and she wasn’t acting like herself. Once we all sat down with some water, there was more silence.

“If you guys don’t tell me what happened, I’m going to go back to the club and find out myself and they’re not going to like it.” I grumbled.

“Okay.” Jo sighed and turned towards me, pulling both my hands into her lap. Her gaze fell to where our hands were clasped as she took in a deep breath, seeming like she was trying to gather all her strength and courage she could for this conversation, “There was this plan tonight after Sawyer and Ivy’s birthday to go to the club and enter the contest to dance for you guys. It was something fun and daring we thought would be exciting for you guys because it’s something we haven’t done before. We were all excited about this until Taylor told us the other part of the plan…”

“What plan?” I asked slowly, not taking my eyes off her.

“We found out that Tara works there…” she whispered and I froze. My hands tightened around hers as my arms and body went completely numb.

“Come again?”

“She works there, but she works for the other side of the club that Loretta’s brother runs.” Taylor cut in, “So, we decided to kill two birds with one stone in a sense. We go in there, have some fun, dance for the guys, win some money and try to get a confession out of her or something so we can finally know for sure what happened that night and how she got the app working and everything. Because Archer, this has been hurting all of you and it needs to end. She tore you two apart for years. You missed out on years with your son and now, Tristian is literally working himself to death trying to figure out the app because he blames himself.”

“Okay, but she would recognize most of you.” I said slowly.

“Right. Which is why we were in wigs and masks so she wouldn’t recognize us. But we knew for sure she would never be able to recognize Luna. So, we had Luna come in after all of us and sit between us. She was told to follow them in and try to get as close to her as possible. It just happened that Luna was able to sit next to me, Tara was next to her and Jo was next to Tara on the other side.”

“I take it she was the reason why your knuckles are bruised?” I asked Jo, giving her a sheepish smile while she just nodded her head while silent tears fell, “What happened?”

“Um…I think it might be better if you just listened to what she had to say, but it’s going to be hard, Archer.” Gage said as he held Taylor’s phone in his hand, “I don’t blame you if you opted not to hear it, considering…”

“Considering what?” I glared.

“Considering you don’t remember what happened the night Tara claimed you two slept together,” Taylor whispered.

“I don’t want to hear what the b***h has to say. I would rather you guys tell me yourselves…please.” I looked at each of them and I saw the pity in their eyes, “I need to know. It’s bothered me for years, guys, years.”

“I need you to promise to make sure we tell you everything before you storm out, because Archer, you will.” Drew said as he looked me dead in the eyes, “Promise.”

“Promise.” I mumbled, but I wish I hadn’t.

“She wanted to be with you and believed you two were meant to be. She was always jealous of Jo, which we knew, but she took things to a whole other extreme. She was pregnant, Archer, but it was with someone else’s kid, but she was desperate to make sure she was taken care of, so she tried to trap you. She slipped something in your drink…” Taylor gulped as I sat there and listened to every word she said, taking it all in, “and she helped you into a hotel room where she stripped you naked. You flopped on your stomach and she couldn’t get you to turn over. You were mumbling things about Jo and it pissed her off. She…shit…” Taylor sighed out, “Um…used lotion and clear soap and put it in the condom to make you think you two slept together. And then when she went to your place, she found the letter Jo sent with the ultrasound picture and destroyed it. She also hired someone she used to sleep with in college to hack into the app and re-code it so she could mess with you guys even more.”

“Taylor…” Gage sighed, “Why?”

“I can’t.” she whispered, looking at him with tears in her eyes, “I can’t say it. I just can't. Saying it out loud makes it real and I can't hurt him.”

“Say what?” I asked. No, more like demanded.

“Jo?” Taylor asked and I felt Jo freeze. Her hand tightened in mine and I looked at her, surprised, but she didn’t say anything.

I looked over at Gage as he held Taylor as he looked at Drew, who nodded. As he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, I felt my world slowly closing upon itself, scared shitless of what they were going to say, “Just know, that once she said what she did, Jo got up and beat the crap out of her. Jo punched her over and over until Gage pulled her off and, even then, she fought with everything to get back and beat her up even more. Tara was a bloody mess and when Gage pushed her to me, they were able to arrest her and we have the proof of what she did on Taylor’s phone, so if you want to press charges, we can.”

“Spit it the f**k out, now.” I demanded, “I’m tired of you guys p***y footing around whatever the f**k she did.”

“She touched you…” Jo whispered suddenly, making us all freeze at the suddenness of her words while she cupped my face to make me look at her. She was crying so hard, it was breaking my fuckin heart, but what she said, I couldn’t comprehend.

“Excuse me?” I whispered, completely dumbfounded at what she just said to me.

“She tried to make you…hard.” Jo gulped, “She didn’t say out right what she did, but she insinuated that she tried to touch you to make it happen, but you wouldn’t either turn over or couldn’t get hard, so she opted for the fake condom and her sleeping naked next to you.” She whispered.

I closed my eyes to gather my thoughts.

A part of me needed to know what she did. I have wondered for years what happened that night and now I finally know, but now, I wish I hadn’t. I didn’t remember for a reason. And I wish I didn’t.

I felt dirty.

I felt gross.

I looked at Jo and all I could see was pity in her eyes.

I looked at my cousin and her guys and I can see the sadness they have for me.

But I don’t want it.

I don’t want to see their sadness or their pity.

“Let’s go home.” I whispered to Jo. I tried to keep a neutral face, not showing emotion as we stood up, “Thank you for tonight. It was…eye-opening. I’ll see you guys later?”

“Um, sure? We have practice tomorrow afternoon and then the night shift. Are you good with that?” Gage said, walking us to the door. Jo reached out to try to hold my hand, but mine was limp. She shouldn’t touch me. I won’t let her.

“Yep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said, opening the door, watching Jo walk out a head of me.

On the way to the jeep, I stayed a couple of steps behind her. Every time she slowed down, so did I. She went to hold my hand and I tucked them in my pockets. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I’m gross and I feel like I need to bath in bleach.

I’m damaged.

She deserves better, but can I let her go?

I shook my head at those thoughts and drove to her place. I felt wrong. I felt used. I felt numb. She tried to talk to me, but I kept my eyes on the road, trying not to think about that night, but I couldn’t help it. I felt myself distancing myself from her. I needed to. I had to. I had to sort myself out and at the end of the day, Tara destroyed me and everything I am, whether she knew it or not, whether she wanted to or not. From the beginning, because of how selfish she was, she hurt and destroyed me to the point where, right now, when I'm supposed to be happy, I couldn't be.

And with that realization, Jo needs someone more centered. She needs someone she can rely on. She needs someone not as damaged and hurt as I was. She doesn't need me in her life. But I would still be there for my son, because I wouldn't give him up for anything in the world, but me and Jo? No. There is a better man out there for her that hasn't been assaulted in the way I have been that can give her things I can't.

Snippets kept coming back to me from that night. I tried to stop it, but it kept replaying in my head over and over on a loo.. I remember the bar. I remember the shots. I remember seeing her. I vaguely remember her helping me to bed. I remember flopping down on my stomach and that’s when it came to me.

I remember hands.

I remember feeling hands on my body trying to turn me over.

I remember turning to my side and telling whoever was there to leave me alone and that I only wanted my girl. Then I remember waking up. Everything in between was fuzzy. I couldn’t recall it no matter how hard I tried, but I still felt dirty. I can't remember what happened and I tried. I tried so hard because I needed to know for sure if she had done something. Something inside me was telling me she didn't, that I would have remembered if she had done. No matter what she did though, I needed answers, clear-cut for sure answers before I could move on with anything I wanted in my life.

And as the memories slowly started to flood my mind, my hands tightened the steering wheel, white knuckling it until I got to Jo’s place.

“Is Nick home with Jeremy?” I asked her when I parked the Jeep. I needed to make sure she wouldn't be alone since mom and dad have Jamie tonight. I can't leave her alone, I won't. She will need someone to be there for her.

“Yeah. They’re home. He texted me to let me know. Come on, let’s go inside.” She whispered, opening the door, but I didn’t move. I just looked forward, like a statue. Distance. I need to distance myself from her for her sake, “Archer?”

“You go ahead.” I whispered, “I um…I need space right now, I think.”

“Are you sure? Can we talk about it? Not talk about it? I want to be here for you. Please.”

“I know. But um…yeah…space.” I mumbled.

“Where are you going?” she asked softly, “And are you coming back?”

“Um…space.” Was all I said. I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t want to answer her. I didn’t know where I was going and me coming back? I wanted to, but how could I put them in this situation? How could I subject Jo and Jamie to the damaged thing that I am, that I become?

Not a person, but a thing, a broken, gross thing that needs a bleach scrub and something to take the memories away. Once she slipped out the door, I put the jeep into reverse and backed out without giving her a chance to close the door. I slammed on my breaks, the force shutting the door and then I sped down the road, ignoring her calls and screams for me to come back. I ignored her cries, I ignored her breaking because I was already broken beyond repair and needed to get away as soon as possible. I needed to block this out. I needed to not remember.

With my mind blank, I let my conscious drive me to where ever it needed to go, and that’s how I ended up outside the bar.

The bar where it happened.

The bar where the worst night of my life started.

So, I did what I didn’t want to do. I walked into the bar, sat on the stool and ordered a double whiskey neat. Then another, and another. And then, the next thing I knew, I had four of them and drinking a couple of beers only because a new bartender came in for their shift.

I don’t know how long I was there for, but I was out of it. I haven’t drunk like this in a long ass time and it felt fuckin’ awesome. The room was spinning and I was in the zone when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I felt fuzzy. I felt good. I felt...carefree and I needed to let loose and that's when something told me to look.

So, I looked up and saw her and I was in awe. She’s fuckin’ stunning and I instantly needed her. Her long hand framed her face perfectly. Her blue eyes were like looking into the ocean. Even in yoga pants and a hoodie, she was stunning and I wanted to taste her beautiful, delicious, plump lips as soon as fuckin' possible. I could imagine they taste like cherries...yum, “You’re gorgeous,” I whispered with a grin.

“And you’re drunk.” She gave a small smile before she turned to talk to her friend. Who's her friend? Why can't I see them? Huh...weird... “Come on there, handsome.” She smiled, pulling me up from the stool and into her arms with an oof.

“Oh, where are we going?” I grinned as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and she held me up, “To bed, hopefully.”

“Is that what you want?” she asked softly but in a strange tone.

“Yes ma’am. You’re stunning and it’s been over five years.” I grinned.

“What about your girlfriend?” she asked, making me pause. How did she know about Jo? Hm, oh well.

“She deserves better than me.” I sighed, “I’m damaged and broken. She needs a man in her life that can give her everything she wants and needs.”

“And that’s not you?” she asked.

“Nope. I love her, but she needs more than what I can give. After what I found out, I wouldn’t be surprised if she never talked to me ever again.”

“I think you’re wrong.” She smiled, “But come on, Arch, let’s get to bed and you can spill your guts and thoughts in the morning once you come to your senses.”

I don’t know who the gorgeous girl was, but all I cared about was getting her to my bed, and as we walked through the door to my apartment, she helped me strip out of my clothes and to bed we went and the kiss she gave me was the last thing I remembered before I blacked out.