Three couples
[John & Ian]
And Ian will hold tight to me in the darkness, as if he’s trying to show me that he’s strong enough to carry us both. I want to thank him for trying, but I don’t want to tell him it’s hopeless. I don’t want to sound unappreciative. I love Ian, obviously, but some things he just can’t be a part of – things I wouldn’t want him to, anyway. To him his combat experience was just another kind of experience, but mine really damaged me. Why? Who’s to say that I saw anything worse than he did?
Ian was in the Paras, but I did one better. I was a Royal Marine. I shouldn’t have put it like that, actually. Ian was a war hero. He never ran from what he did, never questioned what he did, was never haunted by what he did, was never terrified of accepting responsibility for wh
