Love at its peak

“Love most times hurt instead, Love most times become magical but in all try love with a matured person else it’ll hurt and you’ll get played”. This kept on going through Elsa’s mind. “I’m a girl from a religious family, I’m actually not allowed to be seen too close to the other gender but still I long for a friend, I’m so lonely”. Growing up, Elsa always wanted to be loved, but her parents always fought on many occasions. They hardly loved themselves so how can they love a child? Elsa heads three other siblings who also needed love from their parents and didn’t get any. Elsa always wanted to love and feel loved, since she couldn’t get any from her parents she bid it fit to get some love from the opposite gender. Elsa grew up with parents which always argues and fight on little issues. She never had peace as a growing child. In school Elsa became an introverted child, she only communicates with who talks to her, most of the time she’s seen by her self. She hardly had any friends. It got to a time in her life when even her sit mate in school change seats with no valid reason. She became a more lonely child without friends. In middle school, she became friends with nobody but communicates with everyone. Elsa’s lifestyle never bothered her as a child. It only dawned on her when she finished middle school and realized she didn’t have a friend of her own. Although she had mates which visited her house, but deep down she knows they aren’t friends they were just mates. Whenever she gets bullied or feel hurt She has no one to run to, she sits by herself staring, writing, reading, singing. All this help her move through life. Her mother was a working class woman who only had time to cook, wash and do other domestic chores. She never had time for her kids because she was the bread winner of her family. On the other hand Elsa’s father was a sit at home dad who is old and can hardly work. He was more of a narcissist, he never admitted to his wrong, he never said sorry, he also didn’t know how to love children. Elsa grew up seeking love and found nothing. She still in agony and decides to share her story with us. “ in essence we call this chapter Love seeking” To cap it all, her middle school where she was always introverted was mixed but still couldn’t find a boy to like her. And then her high school was a same s*x school. One thing which actually made sense was Elsa and her siblings actually going to one of the best schools in the city. She was smart, a virgin, beautiful, and most especially sexy. She has the genes of her mother with a nice ass and a nice figure which deceived many of her age. Elsa was always taken to church by her mother but her dad isn’t a church goer. He sits at home lazily, everyday to quarrel with his wife, most times the argument we’re irrelevant. Now this intro gets us to the main chapter “Love Seeking”. Elsa seeks love from her parents and is left heartbroken, she couldn’t find, it made her question her existence. Most times she feels like taking her life, she feels unwanted, unloved. A question she mostly ask herself is “If I’m dead will I be noticed? What if my existence was a mistake? Will I ever find the love of my life? Will I be loved someday?” Although this questions kept going through her mind but never did she give up. She wasn’t the brightest student but still wasn’t the worst. In school she had no friends, she moved alone, it felt like her world came crushing, but she is nothing but a child. Elsa kept admiring students who had friends and always laughed and walked together. The only good thing about Elsa’s life is her schooling, she felt grateful attending a private school with a standard education. She grew up in the slumbs, where dominated people were local. Not having friends in school because no one actually likes her and want to indulge with her. But having friends at home was a different ball game. She is always locked home by her parents not to mingle with kids in the slumbs, no harm that worked so well but still without a friend. Lonely Elsa became more of a saddest not because she lost someone or in grief, but because of how lonely she is. Elsa derived joy in sad music, she sings along like it’s Hip hop. She says “I like my songs slow and steady” but little did she know she’s a saddest, always frowning, doesn’t like going home to chaos, even when she’s home she’s always in her room on her phone. When she didn’t have a phone she glued to the television where movies like “Barbie” became her favorites. Due to the fact her parents always locked her in she didn’t make friends and didn’t build her confidence, her siblings also lived same life as her but most times her brother sneaks out to play but she was very obedient and stayed locked in because of the fear of being caught. She was obedient not because she feared being grounded, (practically she has been grounded all her life) she only wanted to stay away from her dad’s shouting and scolding. Her brother was the brave one and he didn’t care about that. She grew up lonely, she had no one to confide in and this went on for years till she became an adult. Elsa had to focus on middle school to get good grades cause it wasn’t just for her parents but also for her sanity. She channeled all her energy in school because she wanted the best for herself. Elsa being a lonely saddest never made friends and didn’t know how to walk up to someone. She was always seen in her shell cause she didn’t want to be ignored. When she got talked down on or bullied she goes home to cry it out on her pillow. Elsa’s mum being a bread winner was responsible for food in the household and every payment in the family. She hardly had time for herself and her kids. Elsa usually got high grades but she had no parent to show it to. They didn’t even care to ask how school was or how her grades was. Elsa didn’t build a communicating channel with her mum as she never had time for her kids. Elsa and her siblings were also scared of their parents, they avoided speaking cause they didn’t want to say something wrong and get scolded. Elsa’s mum always busy was kind of excused from parenting because of the nature of her job and how she struggled; but what about her dad? Since her mum played the role of her dad why couldn’t her dad play the role of love in the family? Well he had anger issues. He doesn’t speak, he always yells. In this part of the state Elsa was beating up a child was legal and her dad was more like a king in that aspect. Neighbors avoided his bad side and his household because of how strict he was. Elsa’s dad was not approachable by his kids and society because of his shouting nature. No one wanted to get shouted on. His lifestyle was feared even by his siblings as they refused sending their kids to his home for holidays, they also kept their distance from him.