CHAPTER 8
1471 Words
CHAPTER 8
TW: Emotional Distress and Past Trauma
Tumawa ako pero halata ang pagiging kabado. “Prank ba ‘to?” Inilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid. “May nilagay ka bang hidden camera para ma-record ang magiging reaction ko?”
“Hindi ‘to prank, Sophia. I’m not joking, I mean it.” Sabi niya, wala talagang bahid ng pagdadalawang isip sa itsura.
Napailing na lang ako. “’Di ko alam, Jax.” Ginawa ko lang naman yung pagpapanggap na magkarelasyon kami dahil may asungot, pero ngayon na klaro na sa kanya na magkaibigan lang kami, hindi na ‘yon manggugulo. That’s why I don’t think it’s still necessary.
“Listen, Sophia, wala akong balak na―”
I cut him off. “Ronald will not disturb me anymore, Jaxon. Kahit papaano ay nakilala ko na siya. He will not hurt me.”
“How can you be so sure? Lalaki ako, at alam kong may masama siyang binabalak. Kita ko ‘yon sa mga mata niya.” He looks a bit irritated. “You’re saying you have known him already and you’re telling me he will not disturb you? Ngunit noong araw na nagkita tayo sa airport, alam mo bang takot ang nakita ko sa mga mata mo?”
My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t know he noticed that. Well, kahit nung gabing niyaya niya akong kumain sa coffee shop, napansin niya kahit ang maliit na detalyeng nangyayari. And I like that kind of gesture—it makes me feel seen and cared for in a way I haven't experienced before.
“Meow…” I looked down at my leg. A cat rubbed its body against the lower part of my leg. “Hello there, little one.” I rubbed the cat's head and picked it up, placing it on my lap. It seemed to be a Siamese, very friendly and affectionate. It nuzzled its body against me. Somehow, my stress was reduced. Suddenly, the cat jumped off as its owner called it. The owner, a woman in a bright yellow dress, smiled at me and waved. “Thank you for keeping her company,” she said.
I slightly bowed and turned my face to Jaxon again. He was looking at me with concern in his eyes, as if searching for reassurance. The tension between us was palpable, and I could tell he was still worried about Ronald.
I left out a weighty sigh. “A-ayoko na sanang alalahanin ulit ang nangyari but for the sake of this argument, I’ll tell you the reason why I was afraid to see him again.”
“Go on.”
Tumikhim muna ako bago magsalita. “It happened almost a year ago. It was Monday afternoon when he texted me to meet him and said we’d grab some dinner after work. Hindi ko siya pinapansin masyado dahil hindi ko siya nakikitaan na magiging boyfriend ko in the future. But he insisted on courting me, at dahil makulit siya masyado, napilitan akong pumayag na makipagkita sa kanya.”
The palms of my hands started sweating. Napansin niya sigurong nilalaro ko ang aking mga daliri kaya agad niya itong hinawakan to calm me down.
“You don’t have to tell me everything if it’s making you uncomfortable,” he said gently.
“It’s okay…” I continued. “Kumain kami sa labas after niya ako sunduin sa trabaho. Akala ko uuwi na kami pagkatapos, pero inaya pa niya akong makipag joyride.”
“Stup*d mor*n!” he muttered angrily, making me chuckle softly.
“Can I continue?” Tumango siya. “Pumayag din akong makipag joyride kasama siya. I really thought na sa national highway kami dadaan ngunit dinala niya ako sa liblib na lugar, madilim at wala gaanong tao sa paligid. Sakto pa talagang naka skirt lang ako noon, because it was our Monday uniform. While he was driving his motorcycle, I felt his left hand lightly massaging my right leg up and down.” I got teary eyed, mas lalong hinigpitan ni Jaxon ang hawak sa aking kamay. “Sinubukan kong alisin ang kamay niya pero ginagawa niya ulit, gusto kong bumaba o sumigaw pero ‘di ko magawa dahil hindi ko alam yung lugar. Thankfully, nang makarating kami sa isang sulok may nagmamando ng checkpoint at saktong kakilala ko yung isang pulis. Bumaba ako at nagkunwaring may itatanong sa kanya.”
“Sir Philip, patulong naman, oh.” Bulong ko sakanya dahil nasa malapit lang si Ronald.
Sinuri ni Sir Philip ang mukha ko. “Namumutla ka, hija. May ginawa ba sayong hindi maganda ‘yang kasama mo?” He whispered also.
“H-hinawakan niya po yung legs ko ng walang pahintulot.” Nang marinig niya yon ay akma na niyang kunin ang posas sa likod niya ngunit pinigilan ko siya. “Huwag niyo na po gawin ‘yan para hindi na lumaki ang problema, ayoko pong dumating pa ito kina mama at papa. Gusto ko na lang po umuwi.”
Walang humpay sa pagtibok ng mabilis ang puso, tumango si sir Philip sa akin at nilapitan si Ronald. Hindi ko na narinig kung anong sinabi niya dahil ilang sandali lang ay tumango rin ito at mabilis na pinaharurot ang motor.
“I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, pero mas nanaig yung takot ko that time.” Tuluyan nang tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. My voice broke as I finally let the tears fall, unable to hold them back any longer.
“Can I hug you?” Jaxon asked softly, his eyes full of concern and compassion.
I looked at him, confused by his question, but still, I nodded and smiled. The warmth and sincerity in his eyes reassured me, and I felt a sense of comfort in his presence. When I felt his warm embrace, a sense of security washed over me. His arms around me made the fear and uncertainty I had been holding onto fade away, replaced by a feeling of safety and understanding.
“Paano mo pala siya nakilala?”
“Kakilala siya ng katrabaho ko sa bangko. Pinakilala niya ako dahil pareho daw kaming single.” Sagot ko habang humihikbi.
Kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin at pinunasan ang luhang dumaloy sa pisngi ko. “I wanted to protect you, Sky. I’ll give you time to think; don’t pressure yourself.” His voice was gentle and reassuring, and he gave me a hopeful look, as if to offer me space and patience while I sorted through my feelings.
***
Jaxon and I spend the rest of the days at Siargao exploring the beautiful places. We did some island hopping and took as many pictures as possible. Ewan ko ba, magmula nung gabing nag-open up ako sa kanya, naging komportable na ako kapag kasama ko siya.
But his proposal to me about that ‘fake relationship’ thing still lingers in my head. I’m still thinking about it, and he even said that if I take his proposal I should wear that thing inside the small box that he gave me as a present last New Year’s day.
“Nasa harap ka ng laptop pero yung utak mo nasa malayo. Naiwan mo pa ata sa Siargao.” Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Micah. Natapos ko na rin naman ang mga dapat ihanda para sa meeting na gaganapin bukas. Excited na rin akong makilala kung sinu-sino ang nagka interes na tulungan ang shelter.
Huminga ako ng malalim. “Naguguluhan ako kung papayag ba ako sa proposal ni Jaxon.”
“Alam mo, kahit ‘di ko pa nakikilala in person ‘yang fake boyfriend mo, feeling ko may crush ‘yan sa’yo.” sabi ni Micah habang naglalagay ng pinggan sa mesa.
“Imposible.” saad ko. Isinara ko ang laptop at tinulungan na siyang ayusin ang mga kubyertos.
“Bakit naman? For him to do all that effort********** sa’yo sa alanganin laban kay Ronald at pagbibigay sa’yo ng regalo***** pa rin bang feelings ‘yon?”
Our conversation got interrupted by the ringing of my phone. Nagdalawang-isip pa ako kung sasagutin ko ba, pero naisip ko na siguro importante ito dahil tumawag talaga siya sa halip na mag-text.
“Ma, napata—”
“Sophia, anak, masaya kami dahil sa wakas may boyfriend ka na!”
Bigla akong kinabahan sa sinabi ni Mama, “P-po? Boyfriend? Wala na—”
“Huwag mo ng itago, anak. Nakita ka ni Ricky sa Siargao at may kasama ka raw doon, may picture pa nga siya na magkayakap kayo.” She giggled, mukhang kinilig. “Tamang-tama at birthday ng kapatid ni Ricky next week, dalhin mo siya, ah. Gusto namin siya makilala.”
Napahawak ako sa sintido, iniisip ang posibleng gulo na maidudulot nito. What should I do now?
- Writer
