A GOD BETRAYED
“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!”
Is that my voice? I can no longer recognize it. The Others and the Elders all used to tease me about it… ‘When you constructed that body of yours out of the ether and chaos you consisted of before you gained reason, you chose to take on a male form. Should you not at least sound like one?’
All of them would say that… All except the humans and the [Law]; they always said my voice was beautiful.
“AAAAAA! AAAAA! GYAAAA!”
My voice is beautiful no longer. It is torn and broken, and ragged. It sounds like the screams of ten-thousand. Ten-thousand beings filled with a terrible pain and hatred.
How long has my voice sounded like this?
How long have I been screaming? Long enough for my once soft Alto voice to become ragged and wretched.
Beyond that, I cannot tell. One second here, after all, feels like a million years; I am one of the few beings that can understand that scope. The comprehension does me no service.
Here in the deepest pits of Apocolypze, in the home and prison of the Black Goat, Shub-Niggurath, pain has driven the meaning of time from my thoughts.
For what seems like eternity, the Black Goat has been devouring me. Her many tentacles toying with my body as the mouths that bulge off them like pus-filled boils, nibble off pieces of my flesh. Even as I heal within seconds of being torn, she simply tears again as slowly my ether, my soul, is devoured.
The Black Goat feeds off my anguish. She gains sustenance from my cries of pain. Perhaps that is why she has taken so long to devour me, savoring me bit by bit. Level by level.
She has gobbled down my every happy thought; my every hope and dream has long been swallowed and forgotten. Every pleasant memory has long been digested in the pits of her many stomachs. She has left me with nothing but my regrets, my sorrows, my failures, and my defeat.
My wounds no longer heal. Now, when The Black Goat’s tentacles tear me, only empty space remains. First an eye. Then a hand. Bit by bit my body is consumed for, mercifully, the last time.
Now as my conscious fades after my last level is consumed and drops to zero, less than that of a newborn babe; I finally have peace. The rest that has eluded me these decades, these centuries, these millennia is finally within my grasp as I fade away to blessed nothingness.
Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat with a Thousand Young, has finally devoured even my sorrow.
Level Lost… No Levels remain...
Level 0 the level of nothingness, of nonexistence. I will finally be free.
…
What is this burning?! Why am I still here?! Why do I still feel this writhing, stabbing pain? Am I still being consumed?
Impossible! I am nothing! Less than nothing! The Black Goat’s tentacles thrash away... but they show no interest in me?
If they no longer chew me, then what is this burning inferno that consumes me?
Ah. Ah. Ah! She has not been able to take it. She has not been able to devour it away from me! For all these years she probably never even sensed it! Far more than her chomping fangs, more than her writhing barbed tentacles, this pain burned greater than anything she has inflicted.
This burning, this twisting, this slithering, consuming, corrosive, appalling PAIN! This HATRED!
For Shub-Niggurath? No. Locked away here without food she starved and when finally tossed a morsel she devoured it. Even with all the torturous pain, I do not fault her.
The hatred I feel is for the ones that tossed me here.
Th-the ones that desecrated my Master, the [Law], until she unmade herself. Those wretched Others. Those TRAITORS! Those Self-serving lying COWARDS!
I cannot sleep until I grind their bones into dust. No. No, that isn’t good enough. I will unmake everything they built. Everything they bought with their betrayal I will obliterate.
Then and only then, when their hearts are torn as they kneel in the ashes of their burning kingdoms, will I consume them as the Black Goat had consumed me.
But alas, I am less than nothing. No more than a vengeful entity, less than a spirit made only of hatred and the memories that gave birth to it.
For my revenge I need power; ever since the Elders Ascended my enemies are the greatest beings of the surface world. But where in this place can I get it?
Despair threatens to overwhelm my hatred. Thus, the threads that bind my feeble existence together begin to unwind. For a moment darkness calls again, my flickering flame of existence threatens to snuff out once more.
But before I fade into nothingness I see it! The painful flames that sustain my new existence blaze bright again.
Shub-Niggurath’s twisted tentacles. The Black Goat has more power than any being in the demon world or above. Even the Elders had to band together with us in order to simply contain her.
Shub-Niggurath, I do not hate you. In fact, you shall be my savior though you do not know it. I shall consume a part of you. Enough to rebuild my form. Enough to crawl out from the pits of this place. Enough to claw my way through the thousand circles of the underworld, Apocalypze. Enough to return to the surface world, Alothas, where I shall have my revenge.
I will no longer be the same being as I was. The Disciple of the [Law] has died here after all, dissolving away in the depths of your bellies. The being I shall construct…. This portion of what remains… this hatred, shall be only a be but a fragment, a thorn twisting away inside my new self driving me to… RIP. To TEAR. To Burn. To BREAK.
I drift, formless, to the closest tentacle and prepare to consume a piece of it. Shub-Niggurath will not even feel it. To her, right now, I am not even a flea. I am less than the meanest mosquito, more pathetic than a biting mite.
A different… corrupt power floods my soul. I begin to construct my new form with this new tainted energy.
My reforming is like putting together tortuous puzzle. Each piece I add takes time and meticulous care, but though I am impatient I resist the urge to rush. Because for the first time in thousands of years, I feel something other than anguish and hatred. A warm, enthralling malice fills me as another would be by love, when I look to the future.
Shub-Niggurath… thanks for the meal.
[Level downgraded from Level 0>>> has gone down to Level -(negative)100]
