Replacement
1158 Words
Alice
I couldn't sleep. The thought of him was still lingering in my head. All night I dreamt of his touch and his words. How could he consume me so much? I didn't want to feel this way. I knew better. I knew what could happen if I did. I was scared. This pit in my stomach was aching. I was nervous, excited, enamored, and afraid. I don't think I have ever felt this way before.
THE NEXT DAY
"Hey, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," Mateo said.
"I know, work and everything has been crazy lately," I told him. Mateo grabbed my hands and held them tightly in his.
"You are so incredible," he said. I smiled but I couldn't help but feel bad. I was thinking about someone else. Why did I want Santiago to be here instead? Mateo was great, he really was but there was something that pulled me to Santiago more.
"Mateo, I like you but,"
"But not as much as I like you," he finished.
"Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I am confused. I mean I do like you but my head is spinning right now," I explained to him.
"Oh," he slightly smiled. "I am not asking you to marry me but just don't give up on me. I just want a fair shot."
"Is it fair though? We sleep together and go out from time to time but I still don't know what I feel for you,"
"It's okay, I am patient. You are totally worth it," Mateo said. "I haven't ever wanted to do this and that fact that I am must mean something. So let me keep trying. I guess until you really say the words then I'll stop."
"Um,"
"Let's finish eating," he said as he kissed my hands and let them go.
THREE DAYS LATER
"You haven't said anything about my offer," Santiago said.
"What is your offer, you haven't explained," I retorted.
"Do I need to?" he raised his eyebrow at me.
"You want me to be available to you and only you but will you do the same, we aren't in a relationship but I have to be there for you whenever you want,"
"Pretty much,"
"How can you be such an ass?"
"How am I being an ass?" Santiago questioned back.
"You don't know what you want and that's okay. It shouldn't but it is. We can keep hooking up at the club but you don't own me," I told him.
"So you're just going to f**k other guys," he growled.
"Aren't you going to be sleeping around too,"
"You little-,"
"What?"
"How can you be that-,"
"Easy?"
"You tell me your secret,"
"Alice,"
"What?" I shouted. "You are being so unreasonable. I won't stop living my life for you."
"I won't share you,"
"Then,"
"Then what?"
"Say the words,"
"What, you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend, what am I fourteen," he laughed.
"You know what, I don't want that. I never did, leave," I demanded.
"Excuse me,"
"You heard me, LEAVE!" I shouted.
"Alice,"
"One day, one day you will realize what this could have been, and maybe then you will reflect back. Help yourself from being an ass to the next girl."
"You are being ridiculous," Santiago stormed out of the room. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I quickly turned around and held them in. I didn't want to cry at work but that night as soon as I got home, I cried as I have never cried before.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Santiago hardly came back to the club. I spent most of my time working, studying, or hanging out with Mateo. It was Saturday, one of our busiest Saturdays this month. I looked out at the crowd like I do every night. I didn't see him. I still didn't know why I looked but I did. Suddenly, I see a blonde. She was thin and tall. She had a short dress that showed off her slender legs. Her blonde hair was lighter than mine. Her features were sharp, almost enhanced. Her makeup was heavy. She looked like a model and I would be shocked if that wasn't her profession. I heard her laugh and as she turned around to grab someone's arm. I saw his eyes. He only glanced at me for a minute before he took his attention straight to the bleach blonde model. His arm brushed her bum. He held her by the waist and closed the small space between them. My heart dropped. I stayed focused on the music and continued dancing. The music finally stopped and I felt like my head was spinning. I went backstage and got dressed as best I could. My heart was racing and my emotions made it hard to thinking clearly.
"Hey Lex," someone called. "The boss, well the new boss wants a private dance for his group, um from you."
"Oh," I turned away and looked at the mirror in front of me. I looked like a mess.
"I'll take care of it," she said. She ran out and came back three minutes later. "I told him you went home early. I told him you felt sick."
"Thank you," I said softly. "He will know you lied though."
"I don't care, I get the most tips here so, let them fire me," she laughed cautiously. "You know unlike most of the girls, I don't judge you but you know that was going to happen."
"Did I?"
"I mean, sleeping with the boss, this isn't a romance novel. He wasn't going to whisk you away and make all your dreams come true," she said. "I'm sorry though. I hope you don't quit."
Quit, I hadn't even thought about that. We all knew Santiago was planning on taking over the club for his mother but now that it happened I was truly worried. I needed the money.
"s**t!" I snapped. I slammed my fist on my vanity.
"Just go home, sleep it off," she said. "He is not worth it, you will be okay."
"Thank you," I smiled. "My name is Alice by the way."
"Chloe," she smiled. "I'll see you later." She headed back out and I headed for the back door. I walked home that night. I wasn't afraid of muggers or killers. I might have even naively hoped for them. I needed something to end my suffering. Why does this always happen? I got home and once again cried myself to sleep. Why was love made to hurt this much? Santiago had found a replacement. A better version of me so quickly. It brought me back to my childhood memories. Some men just have it so easy. They can pick and choose. They can break hearts so swiftly and not care about the ones they leave behind. I wouldn't live through that again. I wouldn't be like her.
- Writer
