Please, Forget me Not

CHAPTER 21

Dahan-dahan niya akong ibinaba sa kama. Pagkatapos ay lumuhod siya sa harapan ko. He sighed before he spoke.

"Are you mad at me because of that?" malambing na tanong niya sa akin na para bang inaamo ako.

"Hindi!" I yelled at him and moved to the other side of the bed away from where he was kneeling, ignoring the pain in my ankle.

"You were definitely mad at me because of that." He sat on my bed.

"Hindi nga sabi, ang kulit mo! Umuwi ka na nga!" I threw him my pillow.

"See? you're mad at me," he insisted.

"T*ngina, oo! Galit na galit ako sa'yo! Kanina pa, ngayon mo lang ba napansin? Kanina ko pa sinasabi 'di ba? Gusto mo bang isa-isahin ko pa 'yong mga dahilan? Sige, simulan natin doon sa pambabalewala mo sa akin ng isang buwan. You f*cking made me so special with your messages and efforts then bigla-bigla mo na lang akong hindi papansinin? T*ngina, isang buong lingo akong nangungulit sa'yo pero wala! Ni-seen hindi mo man lang ginawa. It was like you completely shut me off from your life! And you know what hurts the most? You f*cking ignored me the next day after I saw your ig story with a girl. Alam mo ba kung ano ang nasa isip ko no'n? Na baka pinaglaruan mo lang ako kasi alam mong may gusto ako sa'yo tapos nagsawa ka na kaya bigla mo na lang akong hindi pinansin." I stopped and gave him a sad smile.

"Is she your girlfriend? That Vica girl? Sabihin mo na sa akin, okay lang naman at tanggap ko. Ang akin lang, sana hindi mo na lang ako pinansin noong una pa lang. Kasi 'yong attraction na meron ako sa'yo noong una alam kong lilipas din naman agad, e. Kaso bigla kang sumulpot with your sweet and confusing actions. Ginulo mo ang sistema ko. Ni hindi ko na nga alam kung atraksyon pa rin ba 'yong feelings na meron ako sa'yo, e. Pero hayaan mo na, gaya nga ng sinabi ko, tanggap kong may girlfriend ka na at okay lang sa akin, ‘di ko naman kayo guguluhin at hindi ako maghahabol. Mawawala rin 'tong nararamdaman ko sa'yo pag bumalik ka na sa Canada. At habang nandito ka pa, iwasan na lang muna natin ang isa't isa."

I wiped my tears away. "Pagod na ako, please, umalis ka na. Gusto ko nang magpahinga." I don't know why but I felt sober right now. It seems like that breakdown is all it takes to remove the effect of alcohol on me.

I moved towards him to push him away, but he caught my hands, made me sit on his lap and kissed me on my lips. He tightly wrapped his arms around me, making sure that I won't get away from him. I closed my eyes, and I felt a single tear stream down my face. His lips on my lips lasted for a minute. My eyes remained close as I felt his lips on my right eye, to my left eye then to the top of my head. I held my breath and tried to gain control of my racing heart.

"I know you don't want me to apologize anymore but I still want to say sorry for what I did. I'm really, really sorry, Kaiah." I saw how sincere he was when I met his gaze. He had such beautiful and expressive eyes.

He gently caressed my face.

"Let me tell you a story... There was this girl whom I first met in my brother's social media accounts eight years ago. She was so cute and beautiful at the same time. There was something in her smile that got me attracted to her. What was stopping me to approach her was the thought that she was my brother's. I was just stalking her social media accounts for three years, thank God, her account wasn't private. Then I suddenly woke up one day with her name on my accounts request list, but I never dared to accept her. And when my family visited me in Canada, Algid caught me stalking her and told me that she was only his best friend. I told Algid that I like her but being the protective best friend that he is, he stopped me from approaching her. Kahit kapatid niya raw ako, ayaw daw niya sa akin para sa kaniya kasi ang layo-layo ko at alam daw niyang matagal pa bago ako bumalik sa Pilipinas. Baka raw saktan ko lang siya kaya ‘wag na raw muna. He also said that if I like her and I'm serious with her, I should wait." He laughed before continuing his story.

"And that's what I did. I just contented myself on watching his uploaded videos of her when she was cleaning our house and sometimes his room and laughed every time he teased her by ruining his room again because of her cute reaction, I also saw how closed she is to mom, how she helps her in preparing food and wished I was there too to witnessed all of that personally. My mom also kept on telling me to accept her but Algid was really serious with what he said before kaya hindi ko pinagpilitan. Then one day he told me that she likes me too and I couldn't be happier. I like her a lot and I never thought that it was possible to like someone you still haven't see in person so much." Hindi ko alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ko sa mga sinasabi niya ngayon kaya nanatili akong tahimik.

"Until one day, she messaged me in telegram with a surname same as mine and I decided to tease her. Her reply was so funny, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling because of our first ever conversation. Hanggang sa makita ko siya sa isang video call, ranting about me at medyo natakot ako kasi baka nainis ko siya nang sobra kaya hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong i-approach siya. Our conversation went on for months at mas lalo ko siyang nagugustuhan sa bawat araw na nakakausap at mas nakikilala ko pa siya. Then one day, she told me about their celebration in a bar and of course, I didn't stop her. Why would I stop her? I'm not her boyfriend to do that, and even if I am, I would still let her... And that's when I did the biggest mistake in my life which is ignoring her..." Natigil siya sa pagsasalita. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin kaya hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya para ibalik iyon sa akin.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"I'm such an assh*le."

"I know that. Just tell me why you ignored me?"

"I saw you with that Saimon... I also saw you with him before in a post, so I thought that maybe he was your boyfriend or something. Alam kong mali ako kasi hindi muna kita tinanong but I was blinded by jealousy at that time. I'm jealous because you can spend time with other people and not with me because I'm miles away. I realized that maybe you deserve someone who can be with you physically to take care of you and protect you at hindi ako 'yon that's why I decided to stop talking to you. I wanted you to hate me, Kaiah. Pero sa bawat araw na lumilipas na hindi kita nakakausap, parang mababaliw ako. Pero pinipigilan ko pa rin ang sarili ko." He stared at my eyes.

"It was like you're a drug that I need to keep me sane because after you’re gone from me, I slowly lose my sanity." I could feel my heartbeat... every single pound in my chest because of his words. I was speechless.

"It took me a month to realize that I made a bad decision. That's why I came here to make it up to you... personally. And Vesinica? She's not my girlfriend. She is only my friend like how Algid is to you. And besides, there's someone I wanted to be my girlfriend." I arched my brows because of the last sentence he just said.

"Her name is Khyrss Sariah Carreon. But I want to court her fir--" I didn't let him finish what he was going to say because I immediately snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him for a kiss.

"What for? You like her for almost eight years now and that was so good to be true..." I said after kissing him. "So, she said she wants to be your girlfriend right now." Mukhang nagulat naman siya dahil sa sinabi ko at nang makabawi ay unti-unting sumilay ang ngiti sa kaniyang labi.

"Okay, she's now my girlfriend but please tell her that I will still court her because she deserves that."

Napatitig ako sa kaniya dahil hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa nangyayari ngayon. Parang dati ini-imagine ko lang 'to, tapos ngayon nangyari na. Parang isang napakagandang panaginip at kung panaginip man ito, ayaw ko nang magising pa.

"Akala ko talaga pinaglalaruan mo lang ako, e." Tears of joy made its way down to my face.

"No, never kitang pinaglaruan. And I'm really sorry if I made you feel that way. All the things I showed to you were genuine. Inside those eight years, I never had any girl in my life because I focused myself on studying and stalking you. I'm just patiently waiting for this day to happen where I can finally pursue you. And all the wait was worth it. Hinding-hindi ako papayag na mawala ka pa sa akin. I will make you feel the love you deserve to make up for all my mistakes." He then kissed my forehead. Another set of tears rolled down my face. Today is the happiest day of my life. I think I just found my safe haven.

"My girlfriend is so pretty even with chocolates all over her face." He was intently staring at my face, so I covered it with my palms. Gosh, I forgot about that!

"Why are you covering your face?" He chuckled and tried to remove my palms over my face.

"No! I look like a mess." Kahit anong tago ko sa mukha ko gamit ang aking palad ay nagawa niya pa rin iyong matanggal.

"Yes..." Pinandilatan ko naman siya ng mata nang sang-ayunan niya ako. "A beautiful mess." He smiled as he wiped my tears away and kissed my eyes again.

"I hate you!" I pouted.

And what he said next almost took my breath away...

"I love you too..."

Naalimpungatan ako sa aking napakagandang panaginip dahil sa sunod-sunod na katok sa pinto ng aking kwarto. Inis akong tumayo para pagbuksan ngunit agad ring napakapit sa nightstand dahil sa pagkirot ng aking ulo.

Sh*t! kaya ayaw ko talagang umiinom nang marami, e!

Babalik na sana ako sa pagkakahiga nang kumatok ulit ang kung sino mang lecheng istorbo na nasa labas ng kwarto ko ngayon.

Hawak ang ulo, pikit-mata akong naglakad papunta sa pinto at binuksan 'yon. Hindi na ako nag-abalang tingnan kung sino iyon dahil tumalikod na agad ako at agad dumiretso sa kama ko para matulog. Rinig ko naman ang pagsara ng pinto at marahang hakbang palapit sa pwesto ng kama ko.

Masyadong masakit ang ulo ko para tingnan kung sino man 'yon. Naramdaman ko rin ang paglubog ng kabilang parte ng kama pero hindi ko na iyon pinansin. I pulled my blanket up to my neck.

"Good afternoon, sleepy head. Wake up, I brought you food and medicine for your headache." Pakiramdam ko ay nagsitaasan ang balahibo ko lalo na sa leeg at batok dahil sa pagtama ng hininga niya roon. Agad akong umikot para humarap sa kan’ya at muntik pa akong mahulog sa kama pero mabilis ang kamay niya dahil agad niya akong nahapit palapit sa kaniya.

"Pasensya na dahil mukhang nagulat kita," Zach said in low voice while staring at my face. Agad ko siyang itinulak palayo. Gulat na gulat ako dahil sa ikinikilos niya at dahil na rin sa pagwawala ng sistema ko.

Na-conscious rin ako sa itsura ko dahil siguradong ang panget-panget ko ngayon dahil kagigising ko lang at wala pa akong hilamos. Pakiramdam ko rin ay ang dumi-dumi ko at ang baho-baho ko kaya nakakahiyang tumabi sa kan’ya.

"What are you doing and why are you inside my room?" Tumayo ako mula sa kama para mas makalayo pa sa kan’ya.

"You opened the door for me and I'm here to feed my girlfriend." My heart skipped a beat because of the last word he just said but I didn't show him that, instead, I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Who's your girlfriend?" He stared at me for a minute and heaved a sigh.

"Tama nga ako na makakalimutan mo kung ano ang mga nangyari kagabi," he uttered, standing up.

My forehead creased because of what he said. "Did something happen last night?"

He nodded his head. "You got drunk."

"Alam ko, bukod do'n, may nangyari pa bang iba?" Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko kung may nararamdaman ba akong kakaiba pero wala naman kaya nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

"Nothing," he simply said and gestured me the food on my study table. "Kumain ka na muna dahil alas tres na ng hapon at wala pang laman ‘yang sikmura mo." Hindi na ako nagulat nang sabihin niya kung anong oras na ngayon dahil sanay na akong magising ng mga ganoong oras tuwing nalalasing ako nang sobra.

"Why did you call me your girlfriend, then?" I asked as I walked past him to get a hair tie on my nightstand and pulled my messy hair in a bun before facing him again. He was just watching my every move.

"Forget about it. Just eat para mawala ‘yang hang over mo. Uuwi na muna ako." Pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon ay agad niya akong tinalikuran at naglakad palabas ng kwarto ko. Napatitig naman ako sa pinto nang maisarado niya 'yon dahil nawi-weird-uhan ako sa ikinilos niya.

Galit ba siya?

May nagawa ba ako o nasabing mali?

Ipinagkibit-balikat ko na lang 'yon dahil nagutom ako bigla roon sa amoy ng pagkaing dinala niya at agad na kinain iyon. Ininom ko na rin 'yong gamot at pagkatapos no'n ay naligo na ako. Halos alas sais na ng makalabas ako sa banyo dahil nagbabad ako sa bathtub kasi pakiramdam ko ay napakarumi ko talaga. At mukhang effective naman iyon dahil bukod sa gumaan ang pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan ring natanggal ang hang over ko.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto ko at bumaba papuntang kusina para ilagay 'yong pinagkainan ko kanina at napagdesisyunan kong dumiretso sa bahay ng mga Villareal. Sa pintuan pa lang ay napangiti na ako nang maamoy ang pamilyar na putaheng iniluto ni tita Merelle na itinuro sa kaniya ni Zach para sa akin noong foundation week ng university few months ago. Agad akong dumiresto sa kusina nila at masiglang sumigaw kahit hindi pa ako nakakalapit sa entrada.

"Hi, tita Me—" Napatigil ako nang hindi si tita ang nasa kusina kundi ang panganay niyang anak. Napalingon siya sa akin at hinagod ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa bago ibinalik ang atensyon sa pagluluto.

Napasimangot ako dahil sa ikinikilos niya. Bakit parang ang sungit niya? E, dati naman tuwing nakikita niya ako ngumingiti siya sa akin tapos ngayon gan'yan ang inaakto niya? Ano ba ang problema ng lalaking 'to?

Inis ko siyang inerapan kahit nakatalikod siya sa akin at naglakad palabas ng kusina. Inerapan ko rin siya sa family portrait nila nang madaanan ko 'yon paakyat ng hagdanan. Kainis siya, e!