The Dream Of Broken Love

Today is a special day for Mriganka saikia . As usual, he woke up at 4 in the morning and got busy with meditation and exercise. Yet, today Mriganka feels an unexplainable throbbing in his chest . His mind is weighed down by a vague picture of hope and despair. Even amidst the constant noise of delhi, as always , Mriganka stands alone and unique , engrossed in studying for the upsc civil service exam . But unlike other day , today he cannot concentrate on his studies, because the result of his third attempt at the upsc civil service exam will be announced today. In his first attempt at the upsc civil service exam , Mriganka could not clear the prelims . Taking upsc as his life's dream and goal , he had left Assam for Delhi three years ago. In this journey , his main strength was his dream , his parents' blessings, and his father's hard-earned savings. He had told his parents that he would not return home until he succeeded in the upsc . In his second attempt , he cleared the mains but failed in the interview . Yet , he did not give up his dream and hope. He had an intense love for his dream. Taking upsc as a form of penance in his life, he one again immersed himself in his preparation . And today , the result of his third attempt at the upsc civil service exam will be announced . As time slowly moves forward toward 10 o'clock in the morning , Mriganka , with divine strength as his courage, tells himself , " I have worked hard to give my parents an identity . I have taken work as my religion and through my work , i have worshipped God. I have learned much from failure. That is why today my heart tells me that this time , things will go well for me. Yet, i wait with hope till 10 o'clock ----- ." Exactly at 10 o'clock , Mriganka opened his laptop and tried to check the result . To his astonishment , he checked the result twice along with his roll number and confirmed that he had secured the 108th rank in the upsc civil service examination , qualifying to become an ias officer. overwhelmed with emotion at the result , he closed his laptop and cried out loud . Amid tears , he celebrate the moment that illuminated his defeats with the light of victory. Slowly , he calmed himself and called his parents to share every detail of his result. Hearing the joyous laughter of his parents mixed with tears of happiness over the phone, he became emotional once again. Composing his emotions, Mriganka saikia -now with a new identity as a successful man - went to meet his friends . Today, he was the centre of attention among them, receiving everyone's good wishes. In the midst of all this , he shared the story of his success before journalists from television channels at both the state and national levels. He said , " My story is the story of a dreamer's dream." In the evening , he stepped out of his room once again and set out for the lotus temple in delhi. There, in silence , he meditate and offered his gratitude to God for his result. Slowly, evening descended over delhi . He said to himself . " Today is my last evening in delhi. Having pursued a great life in this great city. I , a dream -filled youth, have today fulfilled my dream of becoming an ias officer. Evening , has fallen over delhi now, and amidst the darkness, the electric lights have begun to compete with one another to drive it away what a beautiful moment this is . It is for the dream of bringing light to darkness that today i am Mriganka saikia, ias. Admiring the beauty of delhi at night, Mriganka had dinner at a hotel and then returned to his room. Exhausted from the day's excitement and strain , he lay down on his bed and within moments , he sank into a deep sleep. The next morning , as usual, Mriganka woke up at 4 a.m. with a new spirit. After washing himself and completing his daily routine , he packed his books and clothes into his bags, preparing to return home. He donated most of his books and hand-written notes to a poor upsc aspirant . Early in the morning , as he saw the smile on that young man's face who received his donation , Mriganka felt the joy of helping others deep within his heart. He then set out to inform his landlord that he was leaving the room . After paying the remaining rent for the room , he hired an auto-rickshaw and soon stood once again before his beloved room. Opening the door , he bid farewell to the room that had been his companion for three years, loaded his four bags filled with necessary belongings into the auto , and headed towards the delhi railway station. At exactly 11a.m. , he arrived at the delhi railway station . After unloading his bags from the auto , he paid the driver the fixed fare and bid him goodbye. Carrying his four heavy bags , he hired two porters, he proceeded toward the platform where the assam bound rajdhani express was scheduled to arrive. Reaching the platform , he paid the porters their due wages and sat down on one of his bags, waiting with them for the train to arrive. From a nearby temporary stall selling bread and chickpeas, he ate some roti and dal to satisfy his hunger. Exactly at 1p.m. , the rajdhani express arrived at the platform , and he boarded the train to take his assigned seat. The two porters placed his four bags beside his seat , wished him a pleasant journey and took their leave. At 1:30 p.m. , the rajdhani express left delhi station and began its long journey toward assam, speeding ahead with a rhythmic jhuk-jhuk sound. Sitting by the window in his 3-tier ac compartment ,Mriganka became engrossed in observing the people and the natural scenery outside with keen attention. As he continued studying the movements of people and nature, a railway attendant came up to him and asked, "sir, would you prefer a vegetarian or a non -vegetarian meal ?" Mriganka ordered the non -vegetarian meal and once again lost himself in the hidden play between man and nature. Meanwhile,as the sun began to set in the western sky, Mriganka noticed a young couple . They embraced each other lovingly and spoke softly about their joys and sorrows. Seeing their smiles, Mriganka felt how sweet and beautiful the joy of love could be. Slowly , evening descended . Amid the silence of dusk, as the train sped through the darkness , the lights inside seemed to reflect the very lights of Mriganka's own life. Again and again , the innocent smiles of that couple came to his mind. At one point, his thoughts drifted back to his childhood- to his beloved Rangdhali village in jorhat - recalling the nostalgia of his childhood, adolescence and a few youthful years spent there. Amidst his nostalgia , he found traces of his love . He asked himself ," was i a lover too ?" Then , answering his own question , he said quietly , " yes, i was a lover once. But in my dream of becoming an ias officer , i sacrificed my love and placed my dream above everything else, disrespecting love in the process- and today , i have become an ias officer. I have fulfilled my dream , yet my lover's heart still hasn't found peace. That's why today, i feel a strong urge to tell my former beloved ,Rimjim - i love you , Rimjim." Suddenly , the voice of the train attendant serving meals brought him back to reality. Smiling faintly, he said to himself ," strange , why does the feeling of love keep coming back to me today ? Truly , a man without love is nothing but a beast perhaps that"s why , for the sake of the pride of being human, the memories of love have returned once again to my life - the love that belongs to a dream -filled lover."