My carnal Akash Part 1: The wolf hunter

"I've dipped here and there with the paranormal, witchery, magical stuff, but never have I ever felt anything like that before. What ever happened that night, brought up a lot of emotions I have tried to suppress. "  " What kind of emotions?" Dr. Verbyla asked. "The kind that are asking for trouble. Did I tell you that Mikah called me at 3am?  I was having too much fun to answer. I've met him before; the both of them. I want to feel angry and annoyed, but I don't. I feel possessed.”  "Why do you feel possessed?” "Because I left feeling like I want more, more of something I wasn't even aware of I wanted in the first place, a hunger. That is one of the reasons why I tell you that there was some form of witchery involved, PLUS, they admitted to being warlocks." " THAT'S really interesting!" Dr. Verbyla said, taking notes. While she leaned forward my eyes travelled to the peak of her cleavage through her blouse. I couldn't help myself. What was wrong with me? Ever since I took a little time to myself, to visit my bestie, and met that man; both those men, my s****l thoughts multiplied by 100. Randomly. Feeling unsettled, I called her. Being an energy healer; a gifted, stunning, gorgeous healer, I started to recently ponder whether she held tantric s****l gifts as well. - Oh my GOD, I've got to stop! I can't help myself. "Are you alright to continue?" she asked. I must have looked a little hot and bothered for her to have asked me that. I take a sip of water. "I'm all good, lets do this. I need to have answers. This isn't like me." " Oooookay" she said looking slightly confused, or was that a little intrigue I noted? I leaned back on the chair, back straight, feet planted, closed my eyes, and gave my body permission to relax. I tuned into her voice. " I will start from 10, and with each count, I want you take a deep breath in, and exhale out. Each exhale taking you further up to the light. A light full of love, comfort and security." This was my third time I have allowed her to guide me. By the 5th count, I started to feel that I was leaving my body behind and venturing out somewhere. I had already expected this; according to her, I can easily travel. Knowing no matter where I went, I would be safe.  I’m sitting by the fire, enjoying the heat, glass of wine in my hand, engulfed in the lawn chair. Beautiful summer night. I can hear Sarah chattering away with her husband to my left, on my right, I am listening to the feminine male voice, enthusiastically talking about his spiritual and magical experiences. Feeling like myself, after many months of been home with the kids, I finally got a weekend to myself. I had been looking forward to this weekend for awhile, especially with the way things had been at home. “Honestly, Mena, I feel you, girl! You have some thing deep in ya! Cheers, b***h!” My glass of wine gets topped up by the handsome Asian as he’s laughing away. With a smile on my face, I take a solid sip. “I have not slept with many girls until recently, but I feel like we have connected before!” He laughs even harder as he falls back unto his chair. I’m glad that they showed up, even if it was unannounced, my confidence peaking. Driving here on Friday evening, I expected a full-on girl’s weekend, especially after last night, when I had the opportunity to dabble with Sarah’s chakra system, cleanse her out, and did a little bit of balancing and clearing. Some heart-to-heart conversations carried on and it was a very lovely night. Tonight, though the air felt different. There was a charge in the air. The man sitting across from me was quiet, not speaking much towards me, very aloof. In the darkness I didn’t get a very good view of him, only what the fire lit up. Glancing towards his direction, he was throwing some herbs into the fire. As the herbs caught the fire, it highlighted his face, and for a mere second I noticed his eyes. Black, glass like, predatory eyes. Ancient eyes. As he leaned away from the glow, he blurred into the darkness, only being highlighted by the glow of the fire. Felling a little annoyed, hoping it wasn’t going to spoil the bundle of lavender I had thrown in there, I leaned a little forward looking at him and asked, “What did you throw in there?” “Just sage and sweet grass.” He answered looking through his phone. Music starts to pour out of his phone, gently, sensually. Sarah’s husband Brandon starts talking to him about the track that he’s playing. Taking another sip, allowing the taste to settle on my tongue and slowly letting it flow down my throat, I can start to feel the affect of the wine take over.  “I love talking about the paranormal. When I was growing up, I always use to pretend that I was a little witch, mixing herbs and little bottles and containers, but my parents thought I was crazy, and would yell at me.” I turned to look back at Victor, giggling a little bit. “So I pushed all that stuff away for awhile, but man, working at the hospital, I’m telling you, my experiences there started to spike up my curiosity again. Since then, I started in I guess what you would call a spiritual journey.” Taking another gulp, this wine was going down quite smoothly.  Soft Spanish music started playing from the stranger’s phone. “You listen to Spanish music?” I asked, sitting up straight, my interest being perked up. “A little bit, a family member married a Spanish woman. Gorgeous girl. Taught me to speak a bit of Spanish.” He answered me, avoiding my eyes as I looked at him. Of course, having a Mexican mother, and being influent in the language, I was excited. “Say something!” I challenged him.  “Nah, not tonight, I am kinda too high now,” he says taking a pull from a joint. As he takes the pull, the cherry lights up, and again, his eyes catch that black glassy glimmer. “How many boyfriends have you had?” he asks me as he exhales the smoke. Taken back, I pause for a second before answering him. Ok, this dude was getting to me, he spoils the fire, barely says a word to me, almost avoiding me , and now he wants to ask me a question like that. I start to laugh at him, taking another sip of my drink, I say to him “As if you can ask me that!” Placing my drink down, getting up from my chair, I start to walk towards the house, heading in for a pee break. “I have tried to get into a conversation with you, and you barely give me nothing, and now you ask me that!” Laughing even harder as my back turns towards him. I can feel his eyes follow me. Coming back to the fire it appeared that a sitting arrangement had occurred. Victor had taken my seat, and Mr. Black eyes had moved his chair in a way that I would have ended up having my right side to his left. I didn’t like that, so I grabbed the chair and moved it away from him. This guy was firing me up. The audacity he had. “Hey, I don’t bite!” he says laughing. Sitting down on the chair, grabbing my glass, noting that it had being refilled, I respond “Who says I don’t bite? First, I would have to know your name!” “My name is Keagan.” He says getting up. “I’m restless.” He states as he starts to walk away towards the bushes surrounding the yard. I carry on chatting about astrology and past lives and the like with the charming Victor. Sarah at some point had headed in, declaring that she had had enough and couldn’t stay awake any longer. Sending her a kiss, I settled in for more engaging conversation with Victor and Brandon, well mostly me and Victor, Brandon sitting there nodding away to some tunes he had playing, with a smile on his face, sipping on his cognac.  At some point, I didn’t notice Keagan had returned, again placing himself across the fire from me. Out of nowhere he says to me “Ok, ask away, you say that I haven’t engaged with you. Ask me anything.” I noticed that he was holding an incense stick in his hand twirling it around, the smoke carrying a sweet, strong, woody smell. I couldn’t help myself, when I felt a shift in the air, a shift between my legs. Catching me off guard with the sensation of sexuality, I had to take a moment. “Ok, how many people have you slept with? Any kids from such situations?” I keep a straight face. Smirking, he looks at me, with those dark eyes, almost calling me in. “Three; 2 boys and a girl.” The incense stick still burning away by him, twirling, the smoke making its way towards me. Some how another joint had appeared in his other hand. Victor continues to chat with me, the wine feeling very warm and intoxicating. As I continued to chat away, the night started to feel very much like a dream, a very sexually charged dream. “Mena, I feel like you must really enjoy s*x as much as I do, but you have neglected to take care of that, or find a partner that will meet you in that sense.” Victor had started telling me as we got further into our conversation of course, about s*x. Laughing, I couldn’t help but let my mind drift off towards thoughts of mine and Mikah’s life together. Two beautiful babies, 10 years of marriage. We had started our family early, I was still quite young, straight out of college, when our first baby had appeared, and when our second had come to be known, our first had just turned one. “Babe, I can feel the heat you radiate. Let me see your hand,” he says giggling and grabbing my hand. Looking at it, he says “Just as I thought!” “What? What did you see?” I asked him feeling very intrigued. “You have a very ancient soul. A strength, and this isn’t your first walk around the park, especially with all this healing, energy s**t that you have started to reengage with, plus you will find a new partner soon.” Awkwardly laughing, I pulled my hand away from him. “Well, me and Mikah have talked about renewing our vows.” “Nah girl, this is different. It isn’t what you think. Want more wine?” he grabbed the bottle and poured more into my glass. “Can you stand up again?” I turn to look at Keagan. “I want to see the way your hips swerve as you move.” He says with a straight face. “What? Why don’t you stand up and let me see the way your hips move!” I say to him giggling. What is with this guy? He’s something else. I cant help but love the scent that the scent being carried from his direction. He just sits there, expressionless. “Mena,” Victor whispers my name. “Mena, why do you deny something that is right in front of you?” “Do you lay awake at night, wishing you were some one else?” Keagan asks. I should feel offended, but I feel challenged, and an aching sensation, a need, sparks deep inside of me, vibrating all the way down to my feet. “Careful, careful… Keagan.” I can hear Victor telling him. “She’s not what you thought at first. She’s got some heavy energy that you don’t want to mess with. This girl has some ancient old priestess vibes going through her.” What is going on with these two? Starting to feel like I am not in the safest crowd at this point, I start to feel irate. “Do you still wonder if you will be the kind of man who will ever fully provide for your kids?” I lay that fire in the smoothest way. For a second, I thought I felt the blaze climb a little higher. Spitting his drink out, Brandon leans forward cackling with laughter all over himself, holding on to his stomach. Victor, sitting next to me, touches my arm gently, and is generously working on covering his laughter. I sit there, staring straight at Keagan, challenging him. He won’t look at me. My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket. I pick it up to look at it. It’s Mikah. The babies are at my mom’s house, so I know that he’s not calling because of them. It’s 3 am, and it would be safe to assume that if I don’t answer, that he will think I’m sleeping. With no regrets, I put my phone away. Keagan has disappeared towards the bushes again, lost somewhere in the darkness. The air feels so charged, that I look up at the sky, wondering if rain or a storm was coming, but the sky is clear and not a cloud in sight. Settling in my seat, I noticed that Victor had moved his chair closer to Brandon, chatting away about his previous employment as a police officer. Sipping my wine, I sit there with a smile on my face, as I stare off into the fire, drifting away, lulled by the warmth of the hearth and the gentle music that started to play from somewhere in the background.  The energy still carrying that s****l charge, but in a gentler way, the aggression and tension subdued. Not realising how much time has passed, I sensed some one coming close to me. Heavily tattooed arms carrying a chair right in front of me. Looking up, my body betrays me, and a heavy sexed ache hits me, as I realised Keagan standing almost above me. My face so close to his core. The look on his face somber, dark, and heavy. I sit up, creating space. I feel the wine really hit me pretty hard now. The world seems to start to spin a little. I close my eyes.  I hear him taking a deep sigh and sense him taking a seat. I open my eyes, and he is so close, our faces almost touching. Looking at me, with those dark eyes, black glass. Intensity coming in waves from him, so strong, I cannot look away. He shifts one hand next to him, reaching for the ground, and throwing something into the fire. His other hand touching my knee, gently crawling up my leg, his fingertips barely touching me. That pounding ache intensifies, almost painfully. I feel his fingers touching my hand where I’m still holding onto my wine glass. He reaches for the glass, and my fingers relax as he pulls the glass away from my grasp. All the while he still holds my gaze. He looks away for a moment and pours the rest of my wine into his mouth. Taking a slow, deliberate swallow, he turns to look at me again. Placing the glass down, next to him. He takes one hand and moves it close to my face, but not touching me.  He whispers “It’s intoxicating. You are intoxicating. Are you happy?” the moment those words left his lips, I knew my life wouldn’t ever be the same. I closed my eyes, and I felt like the whole world shifted underneath me, and when I opened them again, I was in a dark forest. It was so dark, and I felt cold, and terribly afraid. My feet felt wet and heavy. I could feel my arms pulsating, everything about me was pulsating. I found myself leaning against a tree, catching my breath. All I knew was that I had to continue to move. I could not stop. My senses were very heightened.  I could hear the small animal scuffling about inside the tree that he had claimed as his home. I could see the small critter scurrying by, and I could feel the predatorial eyes of the owl seizing its exact moment to pounce for his meal. The sounds of leaves shifting by the wind, so intense. “Just keep it together Maeve,” I told myself. “They don’t have what you have.” Yet I knew what I had could be what does me in. I had just realised myself what it was that I had, and I was so frightened of myself.  Holding back any tears, I pushed my self off the tree and continued to run. I could see a clearing up a head, and as I ran towards it, I kept my senses up, making sure that I wasn’t confusing myself. I was wrong. The moment I reached that clearing, I knew I made a mistake. The moon had chosen to show itself at that exact moment, highlighting everything around me, including me. I heard their footsteps almost too late, but as soon as they came close to me, I extended my hands out and a jolt of lighting surrounded me, and the 3 men went flying, sprawling away, their bodies hitting the trees and ground with a heavy thud. I think I hurt them badly. I didn’t want to; I didn’t want any of this. I started crying, my sobs so heavy I didn’t even think I could make such noise. How pitiful I was. I dropped to my knees, covering my face with my hands. I could smell the burning flesh of those men. I sensed two more coming to me, readying themselves to charge, before I even saw them. I stood up and slowly, walking backwards. “Please, just leave me alone!” I cried to them. They continued to get closer. Suddenly, I felt my back hitting a tree pinning me against it, as the men got closer and closer.  Behind them, I could see another man, but this man was different. He felt like nothing, just a vast dark emptiness radiating from him. His eyes seemed to glow, with the light of the moon. Like a black wolf I had once encountered when I was small and had wondered away from home. He felt just like that wolf. Piercing and ready to kill. I felt a sharp pain hit me right across my face, jerking my body to the side. I fell to the ground, my knees too weak now. I felt another blow to my stomach and then another one to my back. Blows were coming at me in all directions. “Remember, he still wants her alive and lovely!” the man behind them shouted. “Sir, she cost the lives of three of our men! I doubt he would care if she came to him a little tender!” one of them said as he took another blow at me, while laughing. Everything started to black out, I could start to feel myself leave my body. Is today the day I will finally join my family? I thought of them, the way they had left, and something deep inside of me broke. It started to radiate to my chest, and up my throat in one big explosion. My body being consumed, feeling fire burning through me, picking me up, my feet barely touching the ground. When the fire had stopped, I had collapsed to the ground again. The smell of burnt flesh surrounding me, sickening.  Last thing I remembered before I blacked out, was looking up, and seeing those eyes, like black glass, with the moon glinting in them, and his hand reaching out to me, marked by an animal outline I couldn’t tell what it was. His hand enclosing around my neck. I am coming home mother; I am now coming home I thought. Everything went black. “I will now ask your permission to balance you. Is that permitted?” I heard Dr. Verbyla gently ask. I nodded my head. “Okay, thank you.” Slowly I started to feel settled back into my body. “Take a deep breath, and I will start counting from ten back to one, with each count you will settle even deeper into your body. When I reach one, you will be back here with us, and know that you are safe, and know that everything you have experienced is just a memory.” When she had reached one, I was ready to start moving my body. I was excited. I have never travelled this intensely. Or this far back. Black eyes. I was so excited to discuss our session. “Mena, are you ready to open your eyes now?” she asked. I giggle as I opened my eyes.  A look of surprise came across her face. “ I am surprised that you are so alleviated. Usually you come out more apprehensive and annoyed!” she says. I stand up and stretch my body out. “So, two questions for you Mena…What happened that night after he asked if you where happy?” I Thought for a moment. “Actually, physically nothing. Brandon had gotten up and I guess his cop senses had kicked in, he came to check in on me. Keagan at that point had pulled away. I excused myself and went straight to bed. I do not remember anything coming up like what I just experienced that night. I am just super charged, and ready to pounce!” I giggled again. “Since then, something has awoken inside of me. I am … constantly having thoughts of arousal" I said a little sheepishly. “So the second question,  is why do think that you were brought to that scenario in the forest?" “It's the eyes. Both men have the same type of eyes. Well Keagan's only seem to appear black when he is feeling something strongly, or when the light hits them a certain way, but the man in the forest, is just empty, cold and calculated. Being around Keagan, I felt a strong s****l intensity, and the man in the forest, I felt scared and repulsed. Maybe there's a connection between the two. As I said, witchery stuff .  Leaning back, looking through her notes, she took a breath in and exhaled out. I could feel herself cleansing from my energy. Funny how I have recently started to notice things like that. “Are you familiar with the Akashic records?” she asked me as she tilted her head a little. Just so, in a way that her purity and love, shone through her face in the most endearing way. Smiling at her I answered, “Yes, I have. I attempted to travel there once through my mediation. Is it not a meditative state that one can reach to see all the possible options and choices of our future?” “In a way… from my understanding, every human has an Akash record. Their recorded history is there, but not just from one lifetime, but from the many lifetimes we have all lived. Why did you attempt to go there previously? What did want answered?” Ugh. Of course, this subject was going to be brought up one way or another. My marriage was not fun, nor was it something I even really wanted to talk about. “My marriage. I wanted to know about my marriage. It feels like I am not seeing or heard. I feel like I am in constant different roles in my life, and I always thought that my marriage would be a place where I could be me, to let my hair loose, the reason why I am where I am in my life, and my relationship with Mikah is my essence, my one thing I can hold on to, to remind myself of my true self. What a joke that is. There is nothing left in it but responsibilities. He does not see me for me!” I started laughing at that last statement. She gave me a few moments to compose myself. I was quite bitter. Probably wasn’t the first time she has heard this type of whininess. “Maybe the time that you went to the records, it activated something in them, and now you have received a memory from your past, with this man that you shared. There is a lesson to be learned here. Your soul is communicating to you. Go home and drink lots of water. No toxins in your system for the next three days, get some real sleep, take any notice of synchronicities around you, and keep me updated of what else may come up. See you in a week?” She walked me to the door. I started to put my shoes on,  the angle of my leg reflecting in the hallway mirror brought me a flash back of his hand touching me. My body reacted to the memory. I needed to find more answers soon. Going to the grocery store, I am standing in front of the giant freezers, trying to remember what I had wanted to grab. I drew a blank. I felt some one walk behind me, and gently touch my neck. I turned around and no one was there. Taking a deep breath in, I set myself for defeat and I made my way to the car. Inside, my dress had ridden up more than halfway up my legs. My skin on my legs looked dark and smooth next to my white dress. I looked at the mirror. The strap on my shoulder had slid down, enough to reveal the tender skin on my neck. I felt my neck with one hand, closing my eyes, I felt my my other hand   up my leg, retracing the memory of his fingers. I started to see his hand closing around my neck, gently at first, then slowly squeezing me tight. I opened my eyes quickly, startled. What was wrong with me? Did I almost do something in the parking lot that I should save for the privacy of my own home? I placed my car in reverse and pulled out. I am going to get to the bottom of this. That night, Mikah and I made love.It had become routine. Make out for a little bit, eats me out in his half- ass way, once he thinks I am lubricated he enters. Feeling bored, I  choose to take some charge and decide I want it from behind. I’ve got my ass up, ready for some passion, some excitement and fun, he starts to move in a mechanical way. “Come on baby, I want to feel you deep in me!” I say to him looking behind my shoulder. He continues at the same pace. “I’m so wet for you!” He just vigorously nods his head. I started to move my ass in a way that would help him feel more passionate, like the way it was before kids, and he still kept going at it the same way. “Slap my ass babe!” I cry out. Soon as he brings his hand up, I quickly move away from him, giggling, hoping to bring out his playful side. “Why did you that for? What’s wrong with you?” he asked annoyed.  “I wanted to be a little silly! Have some fun!” I said giving him what I thought was a sexy pout. “You're being strange!  Whats up? Since you got back from Sarah’s, you've been somewhere else!” sounding more annoyed.  “That’s a mean thins to say!” I said, not being able to think of anything else, because he was right. “I just wanted to feel like the way it was when we first met. You couldn’t keep to yourself!” “Mena, that was before we had kid!” he says as he starts to get up and dressed. “We both work, have responsibilities, and we are older now." “I am 29! I know people with more vigour than us two that are well into their 40’s!” I didn’t know much of any one s*x life, especially 40 year-olds. Sure, there must be plenty of couples with good s*x lives, besides the once a month hook up of passionless s*x. “This conversation is stupid Mena. Why couldn’t we just be the way it has always been? Wasn’t that fun? You acted like it was fine!” he stands by the door, looking like he’s ready to bolt. I lay in bed naked, feeling completely vulnerable.