IT'S TIME TO TELL MY STORY

Teary but happy eyes shone brightly at me. I turned my head back from the mirror to my mom who was standing behind me with content face. I smiled lightly and slowly blinked my eyes. It's my big day... My wedding... Everyone is busy with something, my cousins are fully devoted in making me a queen more than a bride I think. Everyone is way too excited and their excited is contagious... I smiled at their works. "You look like an angel... Awwww", one of my little cousins looked at me dreamingly. She had a small bouquet of flowers. I lightly pinched her chubby cheeks, " Maybe I look like one but you are an angel itself.. ". She giggled when I complimented her. Soon every cousins/sisters of mine were showering me with praises. I love them all... My family is so important for me, I can't say no to anything they say... I sighed. " Ash... Why are u sighing? ", my sister cupped my face and asked me worriedly. " Just nervous... ", I tried to smile even though that smile didn't reach my eyes. She eyed me suspiciously for a second but didn't pester me to say anything. Am thankful for that. " I know I know... She's tensed for the wedding.. Hihi", my another cousin chuckled. I have a big family with lots of cousins and relatives and they all are so fond of me. I don't know why but they have always made me the most important member in family. I was way too pampered than anyone else. Sometimes my cousins envy me but they also care for me hell lot. That's why today am sitting here in this wedding gown and settings... A perfectly arranged marriage. My mind want to wander around but all the talking around me is stopping me from slipping into a dream land. We took so much pictures and they all are trying to ease my tension. I tried to act cool but these people could see right through me. "Why are you so stiff Ash? ", my another cousin asked. She's just 12 years old. " Me too don't know but can't help it. Feels like my inside is coming out... ", I genuinely told her. " You should have dated someone and married him, like Aniya sister did. So you wouldn't have to be so worried." She paused for a second and asked me, " Why didn't you date anyone? " "That's because no one in our family supported love and all. I didn't want to hurt their feelings.. So I just couldn't bring myself to have a relationship with anyone. " I sighed again. "But Aniya sister's marriage was out of love, right? So why didn't I hear any problems at that time? ", she again asked. Seems like they are full of questions today. Before I could reply, my elder sister Aniya told them, " My story was different. None of my parents were opposing to the idea of love marriage. So growing up I didn't put a restriction on myself like Ash did. You see, everyone in our family cares most about her, so her marriage or any of the decisions about her life wasn't in her hand actually... ", after saying it she looked at me with guilty eyes. They all did. Everyone got to select their decisions but when it comes to me, I always have little to no choice to say anything. The room became awfully quite. Suddenly my cousin Lav stood up and went to the entrance of the room. We silently watched her. She closed the door and locked it from inside. She turned around and smiled at me. We all had confused faces when she did that. "Now in this room, no aunties or anyone who's gonna restrict you is here... Do you remember something? ", she asked and I raised my eyebrows at her. What is she upto? She came closer and sat down with some of my other cousins. " You once promised me to tell your love story before you get married to someone... So... ", a mischievous smile played at her lips. OMG.... I didn't even think this is what she's about to do. Great. I am already nervous and she wants me to say my stupid pathetic love story..??? I looked over to Aniya hoping that she might help me somehow but the look on her face told me that she's also interested in knowing it all. Niceee... Very nice. "Don't be so shy Ash... We all are waiting to hear it.. " "Yeah yeah.. Come on sis... Aren't you our lovely sis... Please say na." "Yeah Ash, I only that u have a special one in your heart but your never told me about him much... I wanna know too...", when Aniya also started to compel me I decided to go with the flow. Maybe telling about him loud to others might make him disappear from my life!!! Who am I kidding!!! I wanted to laugh at my silly thoughts... "So are you gonna start? ", they patiently looked at me with wide eyes. I nodded and smiled slightly thinking about him. " But before that I want you all to promise me something... I want you to swear that you won't tell it to anyone else or remind me about it ever again . Am going to get married to someone and after that I'll be only his. So my past should be in the past. I don't want to bring past into present or future, okay dears? ", I told them and they eagerly promised to seal their mouth. I seriously hope not to think about him after I tell them my story. " So first of all.. It wasn't a love story. It's a crush story actually. An untold crush story. Which I have sealed in my heart. You know your first love is always near and dear to your heart. So does mine. It's no exceptionally wonderful or dramatic but it's special for me, are you guys being able to understand what I am saying? ", I told and they all nodded. " Stop with philosophy and say story... We all are waiting ", I chuckled at their eagerness. " Some of you may know him. His name is Jude... "