The Wrong Way Back To You

3

That drive seemed to take an eternity. Her heart was still pounding, her stomach in knots and she felt like she was going to vomit. She knew that things were going to get heated once everyone saw her, especially since no one was really expecting her. She didn't know how they would react when they saw her. Allie prayed that they would not be too harsh. The drive down the gravel road was the most daunting. Part of her wanted to turn around and drive back home, but she knew that was not an option.

She knew there was going to be some backlash. She knew she was going to get bombarded with questions. And accusations. There was no getting around that. Allie wasn't sure if she was ready emotionally and mentally to address everything with them. It seemed like forever ago when she was mentally and emotionally able to handle things.

A year seemed like 10 years ago. So much had happened in the last twelve months. She had been through so much and had so many unwanted changes. Her life had been completely turned upside down in a split second. She and her son were still adjusting to their new way of life. While things were going as well as could be expected, they still had their moments of hopelessness and despair.

She still had days where she struggled to pull herself out of bed and function. The only motivating factor to try and push through the day was her son. She knew that she had to be strong for him. If she put on a strong front, even though she was breaking and crumbling inside, it would hopefully make things a little bit easier for him.

Dominic still had his days when nightmares took over his sleep. Allie would rush in to comfort her screaming child, and they would lay in bed together, each comforting the other. Neither would want to fall asleep again, in fear that the nightmare would return and shake them to their core again.

They were getting better, though. Good days now out-weighed the bad. They still had their moments, but tried to ensure the other was not aware. They would push through the day with a fake smile on their face and break down once safe behind their bedroom door.

Allie pulled her truck behind Jake's and put it in park. She glanced in the backseat and found that Dominic had fallen back to sleep. She was grateful that he was sleeping and she could approach everyone first and hopefully shield him from some of the backlash. She took a deep breath, regretting her decision. She didn't know why she didn't or couldn't stand her ground and tell her dad no. She wished she had never answered his call last week.

"Hey, Allie."

"Dad, is everything okay? Is Lisa okay? Rachel?"

"Yeah, we are fine. No one is hurt and there is nothing wrong. I just really need to talk to you. "

"Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I wanted to talk to you about Dominic."

"What about Dom?"

"I think that it is time."

"Time? Time for what?"

"I think that it's time for the truth to come out. He has a right to know."

"Dad, we have discussed this before. I will tell him when I think the time is right."

"And when is that going to be?"

"It will be when I feel the time is right. I buried my husband and his father a year ago. I don't think he is ready for this."

"Is it really because you don't think Dom is ready or is it because you are not ready?"

"That's not fair, Dad. "

"Do you think that he has a right to know?"

"He gave up that right seven years ago.He made that choice. He put me in an impossible position. Steve did not hesitate to step up when he wouldn't."

"I made a promise to Steve that I would make sure that the truth would come out when the time is right. This is the right time."

"I don't think that it is the right time."

"When is it going to be the right time? When he is eighteen? Twenty? Allie, you have to tell both of them the truth. The longer that you put this off, the harder it is going to be on everyone involved."

"Do you think that I don't know that? When Steve was here he would constantly tell me that I need to tell Jake. He would beg me. I will tell you the same thing that I told him; Jake made his decision, and he has zero rights to anything right now."

"Allie, I have been trying to give you your space on this and let you take your time, but I think that it will be better if it is done sooner than later."

"Dad, it's barely been a year. He still has nightmares and wakes up crying for his dad. And you want me to throw Jake into the mix. Do you know what this could do to him? Have you even thought about it?"

"Have you thought about what it is going to do to him the longer that you drag this out?"

"Dad, he is MY son. He is seven years old. He is a child."

"You and I both know that Dom is not a normal seven year old boy. He is more mature than more eighteen year old boys I know. Do not use his age as reasoning."

"I want him to be a kid. I do not want him to worry about things like this. It's not his responsibility or burden because Jake wouldn't man up."

"Think of this logically, please. Do you want to tell him now and get it done and over with or do you want to wait until he is a hormonal moody teenage boy who could blame you for everything and hold it against you."

"Dammit, Dad. Why? Why do you say things that make me second guess myself?"

"I am not trying to make you second guess yourself. I do not want to force you into anything, but the longer you wait, the more difficult it is going to be. There will always be an excuse and the time will never be right in your eyes."

"I feel like I am betraying him. After everything that he has done for me, how is this not a betrayal? He was Dom's dad in every way and you want me to replace him."

"I would never, ever want you to replace Steve. You know how much he meant to this family. I know you loved him."

"I still love him. Just because he isn't here, doesn't mean that I stopped loving him."

"Sorry, I know you love him. It is not disrespecting him if Dominic knows the truth. Steve pleaded with you for years to set things right. I figured now would be as good a time as any. You two can drive down here and we can clear the air with everyone. You will have me and Lisa here for support so you are not going this alone."

"Dad, - "

"I know this is not ideal and you never should have been in this situation in the first place. You can't hide from this forever. Let us be there for you when all of this comes out."

She stepped out of the car, looking up at the porch where she could clearly tell they noticed her and the conversation abruptly stopped.