My Psycho Best Friend

Chapter 9

    I woke up sweating. All the memories of yesterday came back to me. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I just want to end it all. I do not understand how he could think it was my fault that I miscarried. Maybe, it could tell that I did not want it that bad. Maybe, it was my fault. Did I deserve to be punished like I did? No, I do not think so. But Ian thought so. I cannot stand another minute even being near him. All I am to him is an object that he believes only belongs to him. I will show him. I will let him know that I have one choice left. It is something that he cannot control.

    I fill up the bathtub. I just keep looking at it for a while. I am wondering if it is the right thing to do. Is this really my only choice to get away from here? I have tried to escape and failed. I never even see an opening to escape. He always locks the door. This really is my true escape from Ian. I do not have anything to live for. Not even my child could stay with me. I get into the bathtub and take one last breath. I go under the water. I let all my breath out. I am fighting the struggle to stay underwater.

    I am about to black out. I can feel it. I am slipping into darkness when I am grabbed out of the bath. I instantly start coughing out water. I finally get a nice big breath of air. I can stop coughing and see who dragged me out of the water. It was Ryder of all people. I look at him confused. I ask him, “What are you doing here? I thought nobody knew where I was.”

    He said, “I have been looking for you since you went missing. I had my suspicions on Ian. I knew you guys hung out a lot and he was like family. But from what you told me he was very controlling. So, when you went missing, I knew something was wrong. I kept my eye on him. I saw he was alone at home, so everyone thought. I noticed he was buying feminine products even though; I never saw any women go in or out. So, I broke in. I just had to see for myself. He beat you! I must get you out! Hurry! I will help you up!”

    He grabs me by the arm and helps me up. I still have a hard time walking since the last beating. He realizes that I only have a t-shirt on, so he puts his hoodie on me. He helps walk across the basement and up the stairs. Ryder tries to open the door but cannot because of the fingerprint scanner. He yells out in anger, “Crap, what am I going to do now?”

    I am too weak to do anything. He decides that we should wait for Ian to come back and attack him. I agree that is our only change of getting out of here. Ryder finds a hiding spot where he can see the door of the basement without being seen. I just sit on the couch waiting for Ian to show up. I do not know how long it was, but Ian finally came down. I could hear him unlocking the door. I am getting more nervous.

    Ian opens the door and walks down the steps. He starts walking towards me. I could see Ryder came out of his hiding spot once Ian walked past him. I think Ryder was wanting to attack him from behind. He grabs Ian and tries to put him in a choke hold. But Ian is fast and gets out of it and punches Ryder in the face. Ryder is stunned and falls. Ian is throwing punches left and right. Ryder is keeping his hands in front of himself to block the punches. It seems like time has slowed down and I am watching this happening like a movie. It does not seem real. They keep fighting and somehow Ryder has gotten up and is trying to throw punches at Ian but is not as strong as him. Ian kicked Ryder in the stomach making him fall to his knees. Then knees Ryder in the face knocking him unconscious.

    I just stand there not knowing what I should do. I am too weak to really move without much difficulty. I decided to stay where I am seated. I notice Ian walking towards the kitchen. He grabs a rolling pin and hits Ryder in the head. Ryder is bleeding. I cannot see if he is breathing. Ian looks at me and says, “How did he get down here? Nobody knows where you are! Did you find a way to signal him?”

    I start shaking. I am scared that he will hurt me again. I start panicking and say, “Ian, I have no way to communicate with the outside world. I do not know how he found out I was down here. He told me he had been watching you. I promise you! I have nothing to do with him finding me down here! Please, please, please believe me!”

    Ian glared at me for a moment and I guess he believed me because he did not come towards me or yell at me. He started grabbing Ryders body and wrapping Ryder in the rug like burrito. Then he starts dragging Ryder up the stairs. I do not know what he did after that. I guess I will not know till Ian comes back.

    I wait a few hours. Ian still has not come back. I am too exhausted and hurt. I cannot even walk to my bed. I am struggling to stay awake because I am so tired and weak. I slowly slip into a dreamless sleep.

    I am awoken with the door being swung open. Ian walks down the steps and I notice he is all muddy. He looks angry. If looks could kill, the look he had would surely do that. He walks into the bathroom and strips himself from his clothes. He takes a shower. Once he is clean, he gets out of the shower. Puts on spare clothes of his and comes take a seat next to me.

    I just hope he will not punish me. I do not think I could go through that again. I would surely die because I could not handle more pain. He just glares at me and says nothing. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to say anything he blurts out, “They will never find his body! I dumped it in the middle of the forest. Now the animals will eat and take care of the body for me. If they ever find his body, there will be nothing left to identify him with.”

    Knowing that Ryder is truly dead, broke my last chance at escaping. I know I cannot escape, or I will be the one dead next. Seeing Ian this way, I know that if he cannot have me, then he will kill everyone around me. And maybe, even me. If I want to live, I must do anything he says. Trying to kill myself, made me realize that I did not really want to die. I am sad that I couldn’t escape. But I am devastated that Ryder died, trying to save me. He never deserved that. He had a long life ahead of him. And I ruined it. I should have just done what Ian said I should have done and never made any friends and just focus on my studies. Because if I had done that then Ryder would be alive. I blame myself for his death.

    I just look down at my hands and Ian smiles at my response knowing that I have finally broken. I am totally his. Not in the sense that I want to be with him. But because, he knows I have lost hope. Ian gets up and leaves. I try to get up and make it to the bed. But I am in so much pain that I can only crawl there. It takes me a while to get there. I fall into the bed and wrap myself in a towel and cover myself with a blanket. I know Ian is gone so I can cry in peace. I cry and cry and cry. I cry till I have no tears left. I am crying for Ryder. I cannot keep my eyes open anymore. I fall asleep into a dreamless and dark night.