My Psycho Best Friend

Chapter 19

    I stay on my side of the truck not moving in case that if I tried to retaliate, it would backfire on me and I would get hurt. He has already raped me, again. I do not know what he is willing to do so that he could trap me again. My hands are clenching the seats so tight my knuckles are turning white. My mind is racing, and I can hardly breathe. I try to just focus on my breathing to calm me down.

    I continue to stay silent. Ian is not saying a word. We continue to drive for hours. I could slowly feel myself feeling drained and physically exhausted. I struggle staying awake, but I cannot. I lean my head up against the door and pass out. I dream about Ryder. I dreamt that we are in the hospital having our daughter. That we got to bring her home and we were just happy. Just Ryder, Layla, and I. I was awoken by a sudden stop of the truck. I looked around confused then realized that I was still with Ian. I guess we are at my new destination.

    He tells me to get out of the truck, so I do. I look around and we are at an old cabin in the woods. There is not even a driveway, so I have no idea what direction we came from. The sun is high in the sky. I am guessing it is about mid-day the next day. I could be at least 8 hours away from my home. I can feel the tears about to spill from my eyes, but I do not want him to think of me as weaker than he already does so, I fight them off. I successfully did not cry.

    I followed him into the cabin. It looks dusty. It has an open floor plan. The kitchen is small but is decent enough. The dining room is to the right of the kitchen. I see the living room which has two vintage looking sofas. Beyond the sofas is a fireplace. To the right of the living room is a hallway that has three doors. One must be a bathroom and the others are bedrooms.  

    I stand awkwardly in the living room not knowing what I should do. There is no use in escaping. I do not know where the nearest civilization is. Plus, my pregnant belly is so big it is not safe for me to go off on my own. I sit down on the sofa and wait for what Ian wants me to do. Ian is running around checking all the rooms. Once he has checked all the rooms he says, “I am going to town for groceries. Don’t do anything stupid. I will be watching.” While pointing to a security camera in the corner ceiling of the living room.

    He walks out the door and shuts it. I hear a lock. I go and try to open the door but it wont budge. Knowing I cannot get the door open; I go to explore the cabin. I might find something that can help me escape or fight him off. Something that can help me. I walk into the first door and it is a small and simple bathroom. There is an old-fashioned tub. The wallpaper was starting to slowly peel off the walls. I go into the next room and it is a small bedroom. It has only one dresser and a twin sized bed in it. I go across the hall into a room I think would be the master bedroom. The bed frame was big and rustic looking. I think it is a king-sized bed. It has a closet and a huge dresser. At the end of the bed, there seems to be a little bench with storage, so I open it and there are just extra blankets.

    I am realizing since the other bedroom is so small, I might have to sleep in the same bed as Ian. Will he rape me again? I hope not. I do not know if I can bare it again. I just want to go home to Ryder. The man that I truly love. Not some psycho who I thought was my best friend. I just cry. I ugly cry like my life depended on it. I do not know what is going to happen. I just want the best for my daughter. There is nothing here for a baby. I could literally have the baby any day.

    It been about an hour since Ryder left when I hear a vehicle drive up outside. I go into the living room and look outside the window. It is Ian. I sit and wait for Ian to come inside. He brings in a few bags of groceries. He was only gone for an hour, so I know that a town is nearby and that we are not in the middle of nowhere.

     I watch as Ian puts the groceries away and starts cooking. I have never seen him cook before. I have only known Ian to eat out or I cooked for him. He makes eggs, bacon, and toast. He sets a plate before me on the coffee table of the living room. I am hesitant at first to eat it but, I am hungry, and I know I must keep my strength up if I hope to escape. It is surprisingly good. The silence fills the room so I say, “I didn’t know you could cook.”

    He shrugs it off and says, “There are a lot of things you didn’t know about me. I can really only cook breakfast.”

    Maybe I did not know him that well or there was a lot of things I was too oblivious to notice. I decided to ask, “Were we real friends?”

    He stills and is quiet for a moment. Probably thinking about how to respond. He won’t look me in the eye. He shrugs again and says, “We were best friends but somewhere I grew feelings, and you were too innocent to notice. I never wanted you to have other friends because then I could not have you all to myself. You are mine. Always has been and always will be. Now we will make a life together with our daughter.”

    I don’t know how to respond. I want to object to what he is saying but I do not want to get hurt. I think I must ask if there will be any more s****l assault happening. So, I ask, “Well, I know I am stuck here for now. Are you going to rape me again?”

    I look around nervously waiting for his answer. He just stays quiet. Like he is trying to make me think he will do it again. I start to panic. I start breathing fast and my heart is racing. I have too many thoughts going through my head that I cannot think clearly. I start yelling, “Please Ian! Not again. I cannot take any more. What about the baby? Don’t you care about the baby? If you don’t do it for me then do it for the baby.”

    He comes over to hug me, but I walk away. I start heading to the bathroom when I can hear him, but it is barely a whisper and he said, “I’m sorry.”

    I go into the bathroom and shut the door. I just sit on the edge of the bathtub trying to collect my thoughts. After a while, I come out and I decided I need to take a nap. At least if I were sleeping, I could escape from the real world. I go to the little bedroom with the twin bed and lay down. Since, it takes me a while to start feeling sleepy. I just imagine being back with Ryder. Which made me think about if he knows I am gone. He would still be with his dad. It will be another five days before he is home. I must be strong for the baby. My eyes are getting heavy, so I let sleep take over me.