All the things I found

There's necessity in what we call restoration,one because Alicia feels she's a better definition of a failed reinstatement and two because Alicia feels derailed.She is the complete antithesis of her,the once bulby Ally have ceaced smiles and by any chance they appear,the are so dead.So if we could retrospect ,then I would unwind the whirlings that crisscrossed her mind because every single whirling had an impact,major ones to say. "Waking up to a sick parent wasn't all I ever wished for,the word sick just made me ball out each and every single second,she had been ailing for the longest time and no one, absolutely no one knew whatever she was suffering from. Not even the best doctors in town. Dr.Davids had a glint of this super illness, I'll refer to it as super not so because it's superior but because it had no source of intervention.The first diagnosis braced that my mama had anaemia ,and then arthritis and then a tumor was slowly developing,ooh wait ,sounds nuts what was that disease? My dad had been derailed so much by mum's illness,he finally developed a heavy tongue,words would forcefully let themselves out,I knew how much he had her at her heart,more like a snort,she meant the world to him.Loved lived in them,the torturous kind,the one that slowly eats you away and leaves you wondering why you had to fall( in love of course).What I knew is that they were trying. Dad had a deep layered personality,the ones that love things done their way,how they potrayed them to be and how they want them to be. That one person who had ghosts in his head,the ghosts thrived in his head and he could hear them talking in parables and puzzles more like an analogy . He always thought of himself as the cool guy,that one person who was always ahead of time and by any chance, he would order the clock to stop and it would do so. He loved slow music,such like the Fally Ipupa's ,the Madilu's,they made him fall into a world of fantasy and he would be literally questioning why the songs were shorter,he loved them longer,way too longer. He was the rare category of people who would love listening to a single song for close to an hour. He rarely smiled,he was enigmatic,very strict.He was the complete opposite of mama,sure enough I wondered alot how they fell in love,I mean how?At time I thought he ordered a gang of hooligans to go take mama,if I say gang I mean those village bulky weirdos with the scariest looks.He must have paid them some little penny and they mercilessly carried her to him....my thoughts,damn . My mama had a self assured personality.She was the glue that held the family together,so calm and sullen, I knew her as a super woman because she handled everything with alot of maturity,she was a little funny and witty,she braced the house with lots of love and glitters.Her chuckles and smiles were the best.She had a glittery charming face that maybe had never been described as beautiful. Dad was too busy wondering through the Madilu's world, I don't think if he ever mentioned the word beauty to anyone, leave alone mum.He would rather jot it down,in pixelated letters on a printed page,and hang the page on their room just next to mama's favorite corner.She could then see it every time she got in and exponentially get warmed up for it's presence and say ,"I love you too my husband" Her days of absence brought nothing but loneliness, absent because her heart felt too heavy to mutter anything, because her and dad had had a quarrel over "who was my dad" I really didn't want to believe he wasn't my real dad because he was everything I ever needed in a dad. They had slow quarrels to avoid being heard but I could hear everything,the single utters made and so my curiosity ran so high. Phone rings...(Dad's) (Dad) "Hello,yes Dr Davids,please hurry ,her condition is worsening, "crazily enough she seems stuck,we can't get to take her out from this place, and she's slowly turning reddish,I can't totally decipher what's happening to her,be quick, very quick." My mama had turned out to be rock heavy,her normal weight had seemed doubled and this happened within a split second. (Dr Andrews) "Be sure to keep her stable, I'll be there in a moment,the gradual reddish color is as a result of........" We all wanted to know why she was all turning red,like was she going to finally change to crimson red or something like that?I had such weird thoughts.Her sweet olive skin was gone,the dark spiky hair were pulling off,just a light pressure and you could have yourselves my mum's hair. The chocolate brown eyes were now red, I was tensed and shaking, I didn't want to have a glance at mum,l could hear dad praying so hard,he hardly did ,so it was definitely that serious.My heart throbbed, I didn't understand what was going on within me ,my body all sweaty,I felt like I had already lost her,I wanted to wail so hard but then I thought like I was already giving up and letting the devil take my mama away.Teary I felt ,I knelt down and sang Jenn Johnson's"it's gonna be okay". "So when the night is coming in, Don't give up and don't give in, This won't last it's not the end" And the night was slowly coming in,and it was definite I was giving in to fear and giving up on her survival. Time suddenly developed a tortoise motion,Dr David's was taking centuries, I was literally boiling, boiling in disguise and eyes all puffy, every other second I peeked through the window to be sure it was daktari,why was he taking too long?my brain had finally be drained rhetorically by questions. All of a sudden I could hear mum's voice,in my head and all seemed so real .She definitely was calling me for an early dinner because thereafter we were to go for evening prayers at Waswa's,a nearest neighborhood where we all gathered every Friday. Then suddenly I could hear small,more like motionless steps,this time it wasn't my mum,it was dad,I saw him and suddenly developed a lump in my throat,he looked terrible,like he had totally given up.I wanted to comfort him,to give him some little sense of hope,but I was too weak,too weak to mutter a single syllable.The wiry man I knew had now turned so brittle,he could break down any time,down in dumps he gave me a hug,a tight one for that matter. The door then suddenly jerked open.Dr David's, he's not alone,he's accompanied by a nurse,I guess for that matter,she looks weary,it's 10.00pm,she must have been working the whole day.They mutter something,which sounded more like an argument,he doesn't seem to trust her.Daktari stares ahead,as if blind to everything onslaught,he is wearing a super white dust coat,with some medical instruments with him, behind him follows closely the nurse,they all don't speak and just with a little facial expression he orders dad to follow him,just dad and not me. I really wanted to go in but I couldn't,my pain increased even the more, I felt lonely,I felt deserted,why couldn't they let me in?was it because they thought I was a little more nosy?that I would literally wail in there,when all they needed was nothing but dead silence, maybe,just maybe. I could hear slow whispers,then everyone went silent, everything turned silent,the night turned much much darker.The night had always been my sense of respite,where I could slowly walk into my own world and own it ,embrace it and make it.I loved it because this is the only time I was all alone and I could meditate on my day and the day to come and jot it down on my diary.But today, darkness brought me fear, I felt lost,that inexplicable sense of loss. The clock was suddenly making the loudest noise ever,I wanted to instruct it to stop,but I couldn't. Then time finally came to a screeching halt,my heart suddenly began racing with unpredictable, uncontrollable and terrifying pulses. Life suddenly felt emptied out in the most unfair ways.My eyes got puffier, I felt like they would finally pop out off their sockets,so they definitely had to be a little way stronger or rather more sticky ,to hold themselves a little longer lest I become blind.I was tensed and anxiety took toll,I couldn't hold it anymore, I had to visualize and analyze what everybody else was doing,to make judgement and slowly monitor her recuperation to the procedure,I had to be there. Unable to escape the grip of the threatening pain, I stood from my long sweaty bed,It was sweaty rather because I had not done it much justice,I did sit on it way too long,and it started hurting me and it's self. I didn't want to interrupt whatever it is that was going on the other side,I knew I had to be a little gentle, gentle in every thing ,from handling the door to my movement ,lest they lock my mum's room for me. Guilty with every thing I was doing, frustration dashed in,I couldn't resonate with everything that was surrounding me ,I just wanted to move in and faster,and with all that I slam the door open....