DEAR EX HUSBAND, YOU LOVED ME TOO LATE

ANIKA’S POV “I am sorry Madam Smith but you lost the baby” The doctor kept on saying more things but I was not listening from that point on. My hands instinctively wrapped around my stomach that now seemed empty and I felt the tears run down my eyes… still, I did not say a single word. I could not even blink. Everything inside me just hurt. Just yesterday, I still had my son in my belly, I was whispering sweet things about how I would give him the world when he was born. Then there was the incident with Bree, and in the twinkle of an eye, I had lost it all… that yesterday now seemed like a faraway dream. “I’m sorry Madam are you listening to me?” I blinked once, then twice trying to come back to reality “I’m sorry that did you say?” I asked my voice cracking at the end. The doctor shot me a look of pity. I hated that look because somehow it just seemed to solidify everything, how real it was… the fact that I had actually lost my baby. “I said that you need a family member to come and sign your documents before we can proceed treatment” I just turned away from the doctor and face the window ‘I have no one here” I said. He looked at me with a shocked expression on his face “I just saw your husband outside-” I cut him off “you are free to try Doctor but I assure you, Simon won’t come” Just thinking about him made my heart to hurt even more. When he found both Bree and I down the staircase, I was there on the floor bleeding from all areas, while Bree just had a small scratch… he took Bree to the hospital instead and left me for dead. While I lay there helplessly in a pool of my own blood until one of the house keeper’s fond me and called 911. If he had gotten me to the hospital earlier then maybe my son would still be alive. But I did not want to think about what could have been. Not right now, it would break me. My own husband whom I had been married to for 4 years, the man who was to love me and protect me just left me for dead while he was panicking over my sister. Another round of tears fell down from my eyes without my permission. Simon did not deserve my tears, or my love but it could not change how painful this was…. I had spent a million times racking my brain over and over again, but still I could not figure out when things got this bad. When the lovely smile he once had when he looked in my direction turned to los of disdain, when he stopped caring about me; when he stopped loving me. I did not notice the doctor step out but now he was back inside the room and the look on his face showed that I was right. He cleared his throat “your husband, Mr. Smith said that he was busy and should not be disturbed with trivial matters” I almost lost my mind. Trivial matters? I had stitches everywhere… We had just lost our son and to him this was a trivial matter. I scoffed “I can sign the documents myself Doctor, I don’t need anyone” I said. “This is against hospital policy” he said. “Then do whatever you want I don’t care!” I snapped…. I was feeling guilty about pouring all of my emotions on the wrong person but at this point I was too exhausted to even care about my attitude, I would apologize later. He heaved a sigh before passing the documents to me “please sign” I took the pen, hissing slightly from it rubbing against my cuts. When I was done, I passed it back to him “if that is all I would really like to sleep now” I said. He moved back “ok. You can rest now, so that you will recover” I lay on the bed and turned away from everyone. With my hands on my stomach, I began crying again for all that I had lost until I finally dozed off. Muffled whispers woke me up from my sleep. ‘’I feel so much pity from this woman… she had just lost her child and sustained multiple injuries from a drastic fall, but still, there are no family members to care for her, not a single visit” “Right. Meanwhile the patient in the VIP room sustained such a small scratch and her fiancée won’t stop fussing over her” I sat up and cleared my throats. The two nurses looked at me like two deers caught in head lights. “I need to use the bathroom” I said. “Yes, we-we are sorry” one of them said. I did not even bother to reply. Suddenly everything just felt so numb. The nurses assisted me to stand up. Since I was in a regular ward, there was no toilet in the room, which meant I had to use the one on the outside corridor. On the way to the toilet, I passed by the VIP room and that laughter I recognized it instantly. “You take such good care of me Simon” Bree said. “Of course your safety is most important to me” His voice was so tender… it was the tone of voice that I could not remember when last he used it with me. Whenever he was talking to me, it always seemed to be so cold and dismissive. I wanted to walk away, I knew that listening would only hurt me more, but my feet stayed glued in place. “Aren’t you going to see Anika, she’s hurt to, she must be so angry at me” Simon scoffed “she doesn’t matter… someone that made you get hurt deserves to suffer alone” I gasped… my eyelids burning. Was this what he seriously thought, that I caused this? I just had a miscarriage and here he was saying that I did not matter… in this moment, every ounce of love that I thought that I had for Simon Smith just vanished into thin air, now all I felt was numbness. I hugged my stomach again, “Simon Smith, I will never forgive you.”