Finding You

Chapter Twelve

Sarah

It’s been two weeks.

Two weeks since I came home.

Two weeks since I found out that the little boy I’ve been missing for seven years was right in front of me and I didn’t even know it.

My parents were surprised when I showed up but they didn’t push. They never did but you always knew that they were there if you needed them.

I liked it that way.

I’m laying in my bed watching T.V. when my phone goes off.

Seeing that it’s Jake, I silence it and turn my eyes back to the screen.

Not even a minute later, it goes off again.

Jake: You better not be ignoring me.

As soon as I read the message, a new one comes through.

Jake: Turn off Eric Northman and open your door.

I stare at my phone for a minute. I hear hushed voices outside my door as my phone goes off for a third time.

Jake: PLEASE!!

I roll my eyes as I sit on my bed, deliberately making him wait. If he’s gonna show up unannounced, making me turn off True Blood then he can wait. And if he brought D.J., Daniel, whatever his name is then he can definitely wait.

His next text had me jumping off the bed, rushing to open the door.

Jake: I have pizza.

As I throw open the door, I see a smiling Jake.

“Took you long enough”.

“Well, you should have said that you had pizza to begin with. The door would have opened a lot faster.”

I give him a sweet smile.

“Actually, I don’t have pizza.”

I stare at him in disbelief then slowly start to shut my door.

“Wait, I don’t have it with me because we’re going to go out for pizza. My treat,” he says as he waves money in my face.

“No thanks.”

I have the door almost shut when he blocks it with his foot.

“Mom said that you haven’t been out of the house since you‘ve been here. You’re coming.”

I throw my back against the door, trying to close it with my body weight.

“That’s a lie. I was on the porch swing yesterday.”

“Seriously. You know that doesn’t count.”

“If you’re not downstairs in five minutes then I will make Walker come up and get you.”

He moves his foot out of the way and the door slams shut.

I groan.

He’s so irritating.

I throw on clean clothes and slip my shoes on my feet because if Walker really is here, he can usually sweet talk me into doing anything. I’m downstairs with a minute to spare.

I see my brothers grin as Jake checks his watch, “Record time.”

I glare at him as we say goodbye to mom and dad.

Walker stands holding his arm out for me to take. I wrap mine around his and smile at him. He winks at me then leads me to his truck.

Since Jake is paying, I order the most expensive pizza on the menu.

I’m not dumb.

I know what they’re doing and pizza is their way to ease the hurt when they bring him up.

I take my time as the pizza is eaten in silence and savor every bite.

“So, have you talked to him?”

Walker is the first to speak. I glance at Jake who is showing no emotion but I know him better than that.

I know he’s hurt.

He was betrayed too.

After an hour long conversation with them, I decided that for Jake’s sake and my sanity, I need to face this head on.

And according to D.J., that starts with my parents.

Sarah

My hands won’t stop shaking as I find my mom in her room. Her back is to me as she puts laundry away so she hasn’t seen me yet.

I take a deep breath before I speak, “Mom.”

She spins around with her hand on her chest, “Oh Sarah, you scared me. I didn’t realize you were back.”

“Yeah, we just got back a few minutes ago. Mom, can we talk?”

“Sure honey,” she gestures to the bed, “Have a seat.”

I can’t sit.

I’m too nervous to move.

“Why did Daniel leave?”

I cover my mouth, shocked that I just blurted it out like that.

I glance at my mom. She looks distressed, which makes me want the answer that much more.

My dad chooses that moment to walk into their bedroom. He smacks me lightly on the shoulder with the mail in his hand but stops walking when he gets a look at mom.

I look at her too.

She now has tears in her eyes. I can feel my dad look at me, but I can’t take my eyes off of her.

“Want to tell me why you’re making your mother upset?”

Before I can give him an answer, mom speaks.

“Chris, Sarah wants to know why Daniel left.”

I don’t miss the way his face morphs into sadness.

He starts walking toward her, “Jane, you don’t need to…”

He stops walking mid-sentence as she shakes her head.

“Chris, it’s time. She should know the truth.”

I feel like I’m creeping in on an intimate moment with the way that they are looking at each other but it doesn’t take away my confusion and anger.

“Sarah, go get your brothers. It’s time for a family meeting.”

I stare at mom for a moment before walking out the door.

As I head to the kitchen for a drink, I pull out my phone and text my brothers.

Sarah: Family meeting NOW.

I shove my phone in my pocket.

I know they’re gonna ask questions that I don’t have the answers to, so I don’t bother looking at my phone when it goes off.

I grab a bottle of water and walk to the living room.

As I sit in the chair, Jake and Walker walk in with puzzled looks on their faces. I just shrug my shoulders.

We wait in silence until our parents walk in.

Mom wipes her face as they sit on the couch.

“I really don’t know how to start,” she pauses to grab a tissue from the coffee table.

“Sarah asked me a question a few minutes ago. A question that I should have answered a long time ago, but I was scared and selfish. I realize now that it’s past time to tell you. All I ask is that you let me finish before you say anything.”

Dad grabs her hand to give her comfort as she takes the time to look each of us in the eye before she begins.

“When I was in college, I had a steady boyfriend. I loved him very much. He was fun and handsome. Smart. We were together for two years. We broke up the beginning of my Senior year because he had cheated on me and had gotten her pregnant.”

She lifts her eyes to meet mine.

“It was Daniel’s father.”

I was speechless.

“When the Cunningham’s first moved here,” she continues, “I was at a loss for words but eventually, I became okay with it. I saw how that boy treated you and cared for you. I also saw the love he had for you.”

I feel the tears form but I don’t let them fall.

I don’t move.

I wait for her to finish.

“I’m happy that I have you kids and your father. I love you all so much but I was selfish. After they moved here, when I would see him, he would be polite. But over time it turned into flirting and the faintest touches when no one was looking. One night, he came to me asking if we could try to rekindle what we once had. I told him no but somewhere in my heart, I wanted to believe that if his son could love you like that then maybe he could do the same.” She takes a deep breath.

“Daniel’s father and I had a brief affair the last few months that they lived here. A few nights before they left, I had told him that it was over between us and he wanted one last kiss. So, I gave it to him. That’s when Elizabeth, Daniel’s mom, walked in. They were gone a few days later.”

My mouth hangs open as she locks eyes with me.

“I was wrong, in so many ways. Daniel’s love for you was honest and pure. I’m sorry that I took that away from you. When you were depressed, I told myself that it was just a phase. And when he showed up a few years later, you were dating..”

I cut her off. I had to be sure that I heard her right.

“He came back for me?”

“Yes,” she answers, “but you were dating and starting to be happy again. I didn’t want to jeopardize that.”

“And you didn’t think that he would have made me happy? Or that at the very least, I could have gotten closure?”

I’m so astonished that she’s trying to justify her actions that my head is spinning. I need some space.

I lock myself in my room and cry.

I cry for the little girl who lost her best friend.

I cry for my mom and her heartache.

I cry for my dad, who for some reason forgave her and still loves her.

I cry until I can’t cry anymore then fall asleep from exhaustion.

Sarah

I wake up to my phone buzzing.

I check it and see at least ten missed calls and texts from my brothers. I ignore them and tiptoe downstairs to get a drink.

I stop in the doorway to the kitchen to see dad pouring two mugs of hot chocolate. Something he always did when he knew I was upset. It’s a comforting sight.

“It’s about time you came down here. I was afraid that I would burn the hot chocolate.”

I frown, “Can you do that?”

“I’m sure that if you didn’t stir it every now and then while it’s on the stove then you could.”

He smiles at me then gestures for me to take a seat. Setting the drinks down, he turns and grabs two chocolate chip cookies.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you forgive her? How?”

I don’t think he’s going to answer because he stays silent for so long.

Finally, he turns toward me, “It wasn’t easy, Sarah. Trust me. I almost left. But I thought about you kids. I realized that holding onto the hurt was hurting myself way more than what your mother did. Love isn’t easy, you have to put in the effort each and every day. Thirty years ago, I made a vow to love and cherish your mother, through the good and the bad. That was one of the bad days and I don’t break my promises,” he pauses. “I am sorry however, for not realizing how bad it was for you back then. I was too caught up in my own grief to realize yours. I know that we are not the ideal family but I do love you baby girl.”

He kisses my head.

“I love you too, dad.”

He starts to walk out of the kitchen but turns before he reaches the doorway.

“What brought all this up anyway? You haven’t mentioned him in a while. Are you thinking about looking for him?”

“I may not have mentioned him but he was never far from my mind. I guess I just got the big push I needed to ask again,” I whisper.

He looks like he wants to say something else but he just nods his head and walks out of the kitchen.

Sarah

I ended up coming back to school a few days after I had learned the truth.

It’s been a few weeks since then and so far I have successfully avoided D.J. There have been a few times that he was behind me shouting my name but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and didn’t look back.

I know that eventually I’m going to have to face him but right now, I don’t know how to. Knowing everything that happened, I should be running into his arms but I’m not ready.

I get back to the dorm and find Rebecca on her e-reader.

Dropping my books on my desk, my stomach rumbles.

“I’m starving. Wanna get food?” I ask her as I turn around.

“Sure,” she sets her k****e on the bed and stands up.

As we walk to the cafeteria, I convince myself to finally let Rebecca know what my mom had told us. Maybe she can help me make sense of it all. We haven’t talked much since I came back and that’s my fault.

While we eat, I tell her everything from the beginning.

How I met Daniel, how we never left each other’s side, how I woke up one morning to find him gone and how depressed I had been. Then about mom’s college years and the affair. She didn’t speak until I was done.

“Jake had already told me some of it. I think he just needed someone to talk to about it. He’s still upset that he got lied to as well.”

“What did he tell you?” I ask wearily.

“Well, all of it but really about the love he had for you. He said that back then, he just thought he was being an annoying kid but looking back, he can see what your mom was talking about.”

I shrug my shoulders, “We were just kids, Bec. We had no clue what love was then. Hell, I don’t even think that I know what it is now.”

She just stares at me with a smirk on her face.

“Hey, sis.”

Jake pulls out the chair beside Rebecca and sits down.

“Hey,” I say as I stand from my seat.

“Where ya going?”

“She’s mad because she’s realizing that people can see through the wall that she’s trying to hide behind,” Rebecca answers.

Jake looks confused, “What wall?”

“The one where she doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s in love with D.J.”

Jake laughs, “You’re dreaming if you think that no one can see how you feel. You’ve never been good at hiding your feelings. But what most people don’t know, is that you have loved him since you were nine.”

“Ugghh,” I turn to walk away. I take two steps before I’m standing chest to chest with D.J., who’s trying to hide his smile.

My breath catches.

I don’t have to wonder how much of that he heard. His face tells all.

I step back and walk away, not stopping when I hear him calling after me.

D.J.

It’s been month since I last tried to talk to Sarah and all she does is avoid me. The guys keep telling me to forget her but I can’t do that.

I need to prove to her that I’m not going anywhere this time.

Sarah

It’s unusually warm this time of year so I grab a blanket and my new book as I head out the door.

I hurriedly choose a spot beside a big oak tree and get caught up in Owen and Auburn’s world.

I’m so into the story that I don’t see Rebecca until she plops down beside me, knocking me sideways and scaring me in the process.

“Oops, sorry girl. Mind if I join you?”

I shake my head as my phone starts to ring. I dig it out of my pocket and answer it.

“Hey, sweet pea.”

“Hey dad, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is fine. But your mom and I were wondering if you would be able to stay at the house this weekend?”

Surprised by dad’s request, I try to remember if I have anything this weekend.

“I have a test Friday but I can be there by six or so. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. We will probably already be gone by the time you get there though.”

“Okay. Where did you say you were going?” I ask trying to see if he will spill the beans.

“Just taking your mom away for the weekend. Thanks for doing this, baby girl.”

“You’re welcome, dad. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I stare at my phone after we hang up.

“Everything okay?” Rebecca asks concerned.

“I think so. They’re going away this weekend and want me to house sit.”

Nodding her head, “And what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. They just haven’t gone away for a weekend in a long time. That’s all,” I put my phone down. “Wanna come with me and make it a girls weekend?”

She looks at me sheepishly, “I would but I’m supposed to spend some time with Jake this weekend.”

“Oh. Have a good time.”

As soon as I said it, we both looked at each other.

I manage to get out an “Eww” before we busted out laughing.

D.J.

The day is finally here.

I’m gonna tell Sarah how I feel and not let her walk away until everything is out in the open. She won’t be leaving for a while so I have plenty of time.

Time to find her again.

Sarah

As soon as I get to my parents house, I throw my bag in my room, pour myself a glass of wine, plug in my IPod and step into a nice, warm bath.

There is something about wine, a bath and singing at the top of my lungs that relaxes me.

I stay in the bath until the water is too cool to stand.

I wrap myself in a towel and walk towards my room. As I hit the doorway, I stop walking. On my bed sits a purple package that I know wasn’t there before.

I walk over hesitantly. On top of the box is a note that says “Open me” so that’s exactly what I do.

I gasp as I lift out the beautiful purple dress from the boutique out of the box. As I do, another piece of paper falls to the floor.

“Sarah,

Please wear this and come out to the backyard when you’re ready. -D”

I was torn in two.

My head wants to question what was going on but my heart is telling me to hurry and get dressed. It raced at the chance to be with him again. I calm down my heart as best I could and get dressed. I brush my teeth and check myself in the mirror one final time before heading to the back door.

I take a deep breath and unlock the door, not knowing what I’m going to find on the other side.