Finding You

Chapter Thirteen

D.J.

I’ve been here a while setting things up and thinking of the right words to say that will make her realize that we belong together.

But the problem is that everything I come up with, sounds lame.

I look around making sure that everything is in place.

Now, I just have to wait for her.

When Sarah pulls up to the house, it’s so hard not to reveal myself.

But I force myself to stick to the plan, so I stay hidden behind a bush like a creeper and wait for the perfect time to deliver my gift.

Tiptoeing into the house, I listen to see where she is. Praying to god that I don’t screw this up. I’m about to leave my gift on the table until I heard what sounds like a faucet running upstairs. I listen a little longer and music comes on.

I don’t want to lose my chance, so I race up the stairs. As soon as I get to the top, I freeze. Listening to make sure that she didn’t hear me.

As I near her room, what breaks my heart isn’t the sad song she’s singing along to but the fact that she sounds completely broken. The sound puts a sinking feeling in my gut that makes me fear that I may not be able to fix this. But damn if I’m not gonna try.

I lay the gift on the bed as I silently thank Rebecca for letting me give it to her.

I head out of the house more determined than before.

**D.J.’s Memory**

Nicki Minaj was singing about how the night was still young as I shove some blonde off of me as politely as I could for the tenth time and headed for my room.

Locking the door, I lay on my bed and put my earbuds in to block out the party.

Darius Rucker’s “Don’t think I don’t think about it” came on and I concentrated on the lyrics. I realize that I don’t want that to be my reality anymore.

I open the drawer in my night stand and pull out a few pictures of Sarah and I from when we were kids.

That’s when it hits me.

It’s perfect but I know I’m going to need some help, so I text Jake to see where he’s at.

I find him with a group of people out back by a fire.

I put my arm around Rebecca and give her a hug while Jake makes his way over.

“What’s up?”

Looking back and forth between him and Rebecca, I answer, “I have an idea but I want your opinion and I may need your help.”

I nod and walk away from them to pull three chairs together, hoping they follow and at least hear me out.

I’m relieved when they sit in the chairs next to me.

As I tell them my plan, neither of them gives me a clue as to what they’re thinking.

“So? What do you think?” I say when I’m done. The silence is killing me.

“Well, it’s a good idea. It’s definitely worth a shot,” Jake answers with a smile as Rebecca nods in agreement.

“So what do you need help with? I’m happy to help but it seems like you have it all figured out,” Rebecca asks curiously.

“I want your opinion on a setup when the time comes,” I let her know.

I turn to Jake, “But I need you to get ahold of your parents for me.”

He seems to think it over for a minute.

“No.”

My stomach sinks, “What?”

He looks at me, “I will help you. I can call them and let them know that you want to talk to them but I won’t ask them for you. If you want to be with Sarah then you’re gonna have to deal with the parents. Just like a normal boyfriend.”

“Okay. That’s fair,” I agree.

He looks surprised that I agreed so quickly.

“Okay. Then I will call them tomorrow.”

“Thanks man.” I hold out my hand and he shakes it before they walk away from me.

**End of Memory**

D.J. Present Day

I watch as the light in her room turns on. It’s too high up so I can’t actually see anything, but I bet she’s found her present by now. I sit next to the creek to wait for her to come outside while my mind drifts to the day I saw her parents again.

**D.J.’s Memory**

Jake stands back while letting me ring the doorbell.

Mr. Summers opens the door, leering at me. If he’s trying to intimidate me then he doesn’t have to work too hard.

Taking a deep breath, I stick out my hand. “Mr. Summers.”

He shakes my hand and nods past the door. “Come on in.”

I walk into the foyer and went to follow him into the living room when something caught my eye.

A photograph.

I look at the smiling faces of a carefree Sarah with her brothers. All wet from the sprinkler that’s still on behind them with their arms around each other.

Looking around, I notice several pictures of them but why did this one catch my eye?

As I’m about to turn away, I see it.

An extra arm around Sarah but it didn’t show who it belonged to.

I look more closely and realize that the end of the photo is folded back. The part of the photo that I knew would have me on it.

I know that they’re waiting on me but I have to see.

The photo is not in a frame so I pick it up and hesitantly unfold it.

“It got really bad after you left.”

I don’t turn around, I’m too mesmerized by the photo. But I’m surprised because where I thought would be anger in her voice, was only sorrow.

“She was sad, confused, angry. For a long time, she had hoped that you would come back. But over time, that hope dimmed until it was completely gone. When that happened, she put all of the things that reminded her of you away. She went to put that picture away, but I stopped her. I told her that I liked having that one up because it was a time when her smile was real. So, she left it up and folded it over. I know my daughter though. She can throw everything away that she wanted to but that won’t stop the memories.” She stops talking and pats me on the shoulder. “Come on, it’s time to have that talk.”

I set the photo back on the mantle and follow her into the living room.

She doesn’t stop there though. I look to Jake for some guidance as to where to go but he just shrugs his shoulders and looks to his dad.

He looks amused as he gestures for me to follow her, so I do.

She takes us to the back porch. I pause before stepping out the back door.

The backyard is where Sarah and I spent most of our time. It’s already weird to be in this house again but the backyard just makes it all that more real.

When she notices that I haven’t followed her, she turns to see where I’m at and gives me a sad smile.

A throat clears from behind me so I take a breath and move through the doorway.

I don’t miss the daggers Mrs. Summers’ shoots toward whoever cleared their throat and I stifle a laugh.

I sit in one of the wicker chairs while Jake’s parents sit on the porch swing and Jake leans against the railing.

Damn.

I can’t even look anywhere without memories flooding my mind.

I push them away for now, trying to focus on what needs to be said. It takes me a minute to gather my thoughts.

“I’m sorry for hurting her. For letting her down.” I don’t get to finish what I was saying when Mrs. Summers interrupts.

“Oh, darling boy. You didn’t let her down. You were the one constant thing that kept her going. The desire to find you and to know what happened, kept her going. I was the one that let everyone down. I let old feelings surface, not thinking about anyone but myself. I hated myself for what I did to our families. But I didn’t do it alone.” Tears build up in her eyes, “I’m supposed to protect my family, not hurt them. I’m sorry that I tore you and Sarah apart.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting but this wasn’t it.

The tears spill over onto her cheeks as Mr. Summers’ tries to comfort her.

I’m inspired by his love. They have definitely been through some hardships and he had every right to leave.

But he didn’t.

He stayed.

That is unfailing love.

I feel as if I’m intruding on an intimate moment, so I finally turn and look at the backyard.

I can see us down by the creek and on the tire swing.

My heart swells at the way she made me feel even then. I knew she was something special.

Pigtails and all.

“Daniel.”

Her mom looks at me as if she knows what was on my mind. Who am I kidding, they all probably do.

“You still love her.”

“Is it that obvious?” I ask but I already know the answer.

“Oh, darling boy, it’s written all over your face. Just like it was years ago.”

I look at her mystified. “I never stopped loving her. I went out with other girls because I was trying to feel something. But none of them made me feel like Sarah did. Even at just 10 years old.”

“So, Daniel, how do you plan on winning Sarah over?” Mr. Summers’ asks.

“She won’t talk to me right now so I have to come up with a plan. I wasn’t so sure about the place that I picked until you brought us out here.”

I launch into my idea and they listen with interest and giving input when it was needed. By the time I leave the house with their blessing, I have decided to take Sarah back to where it all began.

**End of Memory**

D.J. Present Day

I snap out of my thoughts as I hear the back door creak open. I turn my head and have to catch my breath as my heart starts to pound at the sight before me.

Sarah

As soon as I step out of the doorway, I spot D.J. He looks handsome in his dark wash jeans and red button up.

His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and the material clings to his arms.

Let’s be honest, he would look good wearing a paper sack.

My feet move of their own accord, taking me toward him. As I get closer, I have to remind myself to breathe. I’m also silently cursing myself for not spending more time on my appearance.

My feet don’t stop until we are mere inches apart.

Chest to chest, staring at each other, neither of us believing that this is real.

“Say something”, he whispers.

“Daniel.”

I whisper the name of the boy who made me whole all those years ago. D.J.’s mouth opens as if to say something, but he closes it instead.

I study his features in the quietness.

After his admission, I was too upset and hurt to try to see the boy from all those years ago.

I see it now.

Plain as day.

My hand moves from my side to cup his face. “I wonder how I never saw it before,” I whisper as my eyes travel down his nose and trace his lips.

He doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to continue.

“I mean, I saw a resemblance, but I thought it was all in my head. But now, I see him. I see Daniel.”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he whispers back as he lays his hand over mine.

For a second, it’s as if no time has passed. We are ten years old and playing in the backyard again. Everything that I was trying to block out comes barreling into my mind.

The wind blows gently, and something catches my eye.

“What’s that?”

Something is hanging from the tree, I walk closer to get a better look.

It’s not just one thing, several photos of us are tied and hanging from the tree branches along with a string of white Christmas lights.

Underneath the photos, is a blanket spread out on the ground. The smells of Vanilla and Lavender fill my nose as I spot a few candles that are spread around the blanket. I also spot a basket, but I don’t mention anything yet.

I want to take it all in before I speak.

Being here with him reminds me so much of our childhood. It means so much that he wanted me to remember but honestly, how could I forget?

My eyes flow from picture to picture. They help make my decision final, but before I can tell him, he speaks.

D.J.

I watch as the emotions play on her face. She’s remembering. That’s what I wanted, right?

Then why am I doubting myself all of a sudden. Maybe this was a bad idea.

I hold my breath as she looks at the pictures of our childhood in the tree.

I know when she spots the one that Mrs. Summers let me borrow. I almost didn’t put it up but if I was going all out then it needed to be there.

Tears form in her eyes and I know that I have to say something.

After all this time, I still love her. I feel it in every ounce of my being.

She deserves the truth, everything in my heart.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I did it to remind you of what we had, everything we used to be. Even when you only knew me as “D.J.”, I know you felt something too”. I take a breath then continue, “I’m sorry for not telling you the truth. I wasn’t sure how you would have reacted, and I wanted time to get to know you again. I admit, it was selfish. I wanted to but every time I tried, the words wouldn’t come out.”

When I stop talking, we are both silently staring at each other.

She closes the distance between our bodies, touching our foreheads together.

The silence is deafening but I stay silent.

She sighs and my hope dims as I wait for her to tell me that she wants nothing to do with me.

“Where have you been the last seven years?” she says it as if this is the one thing that she’s desperate for an answer to.

I laugh humorlessly as I bend down to take off my shoes and socks, then do the same with hers. She looks confused, but she goes with it.

I grab her hand and lead her to the big rock by the creek that we loved as kids.

We sit, letting our feet skim the water.

I begin to tell her about my mom catching our parents then packed everything up and took me to live with my grandparents. I tell her about the divorce and how I dealt with it.

“I got into football and tried to focus on school until I could find you again.”

She nods her head slowly, “What about your name?”

I smile a little.

“My name as you know it is..”

“Daniel James Cunningham,” she finishes so softly that I almost didn’t hear it.

“Yeah. When the divorce was finalized, mom wanted nothing to do with dad. She changed our last name to her maiden one, James. Daniel James James didn’t sound right so I went by D.J. James instead. Plus, honestly, I didn’t want to hear anyone say “Daniel” unless it was the shy girl with the pigtails from down the street. It just didn’t feel right.”

She’s looking at the creek, but I can see the smile on her face. It brings back some of my hope.

It’s now or never.

Sarah

Relief.

That’s exactly what I feel when I finally get to hear what happened. I’ve waited all this time thinking that I would never know.

He’s definitely not the little boy I knew anymore. No, he’s a man now. A man who has paid greatly for our parent’s mistakes. We both have.

I can feel that he’s anxious as he grabs my hand.

“Sarah, I know this is a lot to take in and that you probably need some time. But we have waited over seven years for this, I’m not sure I can wait anymore.”

He hesitates a moment to make sure that he has my attention.

“Sarah, I can live without you. I’ve done it for the past seven years. But I don’t want to. I want to wake up every day with your beautiful smile, hear your laugh. I can go all caveman and drag you away if I want to. And trust me, I have wanted to. But it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t want it too. I choose you. I will choose you every day. I love you, I always have. But you also have a choice.”

At first, I wasn’t sure where his speech was going but by the time it was done, it went straight to my heart. He’s putting his heart on the line and fighting for what he wants.

My eyes water as I wonder how I got to have this wonderful person want to be in my life, not once but twice.

He’s looking at me with fear in his eyes but I know that if I were to say no, he would bow out gracefully and respect my decision.

He’s just that kind of person.

“I loved that boy so much. My heart broke into a million pieces when you left. The guy I met months ago is the only one who could take the pain away. You made me feel whole again. Come to find out that they’re the same person, it’s unreal. But it makes me realize that I’m happier with you than without you, no matter what your name is.”

I take a deep breath, “Yes, I do have a choice. And I choose you.”

He looks as if he can’t believe I just said that.

He grabs my face and kisses me slowly, savoring. We climb off the rock, gasping as our feet hit the cold water and laugh as we run to sit on the blanket. He lays on his side which causes his shirt to move and I spot something peeking out of it. He notices me looking and unbuttons a few more buttons so I can get a better view. When he finally opens it, there is a tattoo that I swear wasn’t there before. The word “Promise” is written in cursive over his heart. My arm has a mind of its own as it moves to let my fingers graze over the writing. As if he can sense my questions, he starts to speak.

“Do you remember when you cut your foot in the creek? Even though I didn’t want to, I had to leave you alone to get your parents, but I promised I would come back for you?”

That was one of the memories that I always kept close but I don’t tell him, I just nod my head.

“I’ve also made that promise to myself a few times as well. Once was seven years ago. When we got ripped apart, I promised myself that I would come back for you.” He pauses for a second, “The day you found out who I was, when you walked away without looking back. I remembered my promise and vowed that I would never forget it. To remind myself of who we were then and who we are now and that I would do anything to find you. That’s why I got the tattoo and put it there. You are my heart. You always have been.”

I believe every word he says.

His eyes are telling me that this is real.

“I came here a couple years ago, when I was sixteen. Honestly, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I parked my car a couple houses down from here and waited. Trying to not get my hopes up in case I didn’t see you again. I was about ready to give up when I heard a laugh. I swear my heart stopped. I just knew it was you. I finally saw you as you were walking up the porch steps. I decided to get out of the car and talk to you until I saw you turn around talking to someone. I thought it was one of your brothers at first but then he kissed you.”

D.J. looks up at me.

The pain that the kiss caused is reflected in his eyes.

“Then what happened?”

He shrugs his shoulder as if it’s no big deal, “You went into the house and he walked away. I talked myself out of kicking the crap out of him then I went home.”

A million different scenarios play in my head of what might have happened had he revealed himself.

“Why didn’t you?” I ask tentatively.

He laughs to himself, “From where I was sitting, you looked happy and that’s all I have ever truly wanted for you.”

I scrunch up my face and hold my breath.

He really did come back for me.

I scoot closer and put my arms around him. I’m exhausted. All of these emotions have taken a toll on me.

We end up laying on the blanket with my head in the crook of his arm. I’m perfectly content.

D.J.

I wasn’t sure what exactly was going to be said tonight. I knew my truths would come out but I wasn’t sure how she would take them.

I think she’s realizing that we both had a rough time. We still have a lot to learn about each other but I think this time, we will make it.

“We’re gonna be okay this time, Sarah. I truly believe it.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because your dad told me that “Sometimes it takes a couple times to get it right”. Third times the charm right?!”

She smacks me lightly on the arm.

Just like anything else in life, when you want something so bad but you screw up, you have got to make it right. You have got to keep fighting even if you don’t think you deserve it. I hear familiar chords come from my ipod so I pull Sarah up from the blanket and start swaying along.

Sarah

I’m lost in all the memories we’ve made together when D.J. pulls me up and starts slow dancing with me.

Surprise fills my face and he just gives me a heart melting grin.

He starts to hum along to Brad Paisley’s “Then”.

As the chorus starts again, I feel it in my soul that we were meant to be right where we are now.

I look at him in wonder as joy fills my heart. I have to wonder how I got so lucky to find the love of my life when I was nine years old.

Even when we were ripped out of each other’s lives, he never gave up, he never stopped looking for me.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“For what?” he truly looks confused.

“For keeping your promise,” I pause and look into two beautiful brown eyes that are filled with love.

“For finding me.”

The End