Finding You

Chapter Five

Sarah

Classes started Monday so the past few days have been uneventful. It’s Wednesday and I’m going to be late to my first English class. Great. I hate being late, so I sprint the last few yards.

I finally found my classroom but of course the door is already closed. I open it and sneak in as quietly as possible. I’m relieved when I realize that the Professor hasn’t started yet.

I search for a seat. I don’t like to sit in the back but I may have to, seeing as how most of the seats are already taken. I find the closest one and sit down.

I take out a pen and a journal, as I place them on my desk my phone starts to go off. I hurriedly reach for the pocket of my bag that is making the noise and turn it off while knocking my pen and journal off my desk.

As I turn to pick up my things, my neighbor already has them.

“Thanks,” I say as I take them. I look up and I’m relieved to see that it’s someone I’ve already met.

“Chase,” I say surprised.

He looks amused, “Rough week?”

“Yep,” I say popping my p, “and it’s only Wednesday.”

“It’ll get better. The first week of school always sucks,” he says reassuringly.

I laugh, “I’ll take your word for it.”

My eyes dart around the room. They land on the last person I expected to see in any of my classes, D.J., and he’s talking to the redhead.

I groan and as if he can hear me his eyes find mine. His face breaks into a smile that lights up his face. I politely smile back and glance at the redhead who is now shooting me daggers. I look at D.J. one more time then focus on the Professor as she starts speaking.

We’re let go out of our class early so I pack up my things and walk out the door with Chase. I tell him that I will see him in class on Friday as we go our separate ways.

I’m about twenty feet away when I hear someone yelling my name. I turn around to see D.J. jogging up to me, leaving the redhead behind him staring at us.

“Hey” I say when he catches up to me.

“I was wondering when I was going to see you again. How are your classes so far?” he asks.

“Besides being late this morning, not bad. How are yours?”

“Today’s the best day so far,” he gives me a wink.

I blush. I can’t help but think about what Rebecca said about how maybe it’s time I stop running from my past and face it head on. Which would mean, let someone in.

Could I do that?

Could I let D.J. completely in if that was something that he wanted?

I’m not sure but it might be worth a shot.

“Earth to Sarah,” I hear snapping me out of my thoughts.

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?” I try to hide the fact that I was thinking about him but it’s kind of hard when he notices me checking him out and just smiles at me.

“Where are you headed?” he asks.

“Oh, I’m meeting Rebecca for lunch,” I pause, “Would you umm, like to come?”

“Thanks for the offer but I’ve gotta get to the field.”

At this point, I can’t tell if I’m relieved or disappointed but then he continues, “I’ll definitely take a raincheck though.”

I smile big like an i***t, “Definitely.”

He laughs but internally, I am smacking myself for repeating him. I can’t help it, my mind turns to mush around him but I’ve got to learn to chill out.

He looks down at his watch, “I’ve got to get going but hopefully I will see you later.”

“Okay. See ya,” is all I can think to say. I smile at him and start to walk away.

I get a few feet away and glance behind me, D.J. is still in the same spot watching me walk away.

I make it to the cafeteria a few minutes late. I grab a seat across from Rebecca and I’m surprised to see Jake with her.

“You’re late,” she says with a smile.

“Yeah, sorry,” opening my water, I look toward Jake. “Speaking of being late, aren’t you supposed to be headed to the football field?”

Snatching my phone off the table, he checks the time. He flings the phone at me, “s**t”.

He grabs his books and throws a “bye” over his shoulder as he runs out the door. We burst out laughing at him.

******

It’s Friday morning and I’m ten minutes early to class today. Sitting in the same seat I sat in Wednesday, I pull out my notebook and pen as I glance around the room for D.J., trying not to make it obvious. I don’t spot him yet.

Chase slides into his seat smiling at me. He gets his things out of his bag and turns to say something to me but before he has the chance, his eyes travel behind me with an odd expression on his face.

I feel a hand on my shoulder as I hear, “Well, well, well, look who we have here.”

Chase gives me an apologetic look as I turn to see Mike beside me.

He doesn’t intimidate me, he just strikes me as the type who always gets what he wants.

I smile as I say “Hey” then turn to face the front of the room, hoping he will get the hint, but something is telling that it’s not that easy.

“Brother’s not around Sarah, you don’t have to pretend you’re not wet.” He’s right next to my ear as he says this but it’s loud enough to make a few people turn in their seats and stare at us. My blood is boiling.

Obviously, he didn’t get the hint.

I see Chase open his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.

“You’re right Mike.”

I hear a few gasps and a snort. Chase looks shocked.

A smile slowly spreads across Mike’s face, so I get out of my seat. I stand up, looking at him with what I’m hoping looks like desire instead of the disgust I’m really feeling.

“You’re right Mike,” I repeat. “I don’t want to pretend anymore.” I put my hand on his face, looking directly into his eyes. I hear someone clear their throat but the cockiness on Mike’s face makes me ignore it.

“Jake’s not here to keep me away this time.”

I trail my fingertip down his chest, stopping at his belt buckle. His arm goes around my waist pulling me closer. I look up to see hunger in his expression.

He’s waiting for my next move.

I start to think that this was a bad idea but I’ve already started it, so I’ve got to finish it.

“I’m sure a lot of girls want your small p***s,” I say seductively, “but I’m just not one of them.” I finish with a smug smile.

The room is silent then laughter erupts. That’s when I realize that I just did that in front of the class.

Holy crap.

My heart starts to beat fast, but I try to keep my expression smooth,

Mike’s face is calm, but his eyes tell me that there is a storm coming. A warning bell goes off in my head.

Trying to calm my heart, I sit in my seat.

Most of the room is laughing but I see Chase on edge, waiting for Mike to react. But all he does is wave a girl over and she starts sucking on his neck. Gross.

He starts to walk backwards to the door, his eyes trained on me. Once he’s out the door, I sigh in relief. Glancing over at Chase who is staring at me in disbelief.

“That was bad, wasn’t it?” I ask him.

“Actually, that was awesome. You’ve got balls, girl.”

“Thanks?” I’m not sure if that was a compliment or not.

“Just be careful,” he says with a worried look. He must see the confusion on my face because he keeps talking. “Mike isn’t the kind of guy that hears the word “no” and it was kind of vicious, not what you did exactly but in front of everyone like that.”

“Oh.”

“He’s right,” I hear come from my other side. “That was probably a dumb way to handle it.”

I turn to see D.J. plop into the seat on my other side.

“He deserved it. The way he kept looking at me when he helped me move into my dorm, like he wanted to pounce on me. And what he just said to me today, it just set me off. I might’ve liked it if I actually liked the guy, but it was just creepy and degrading. He may be decent looking, but his cocky attitude needs to go. He’s a pig.”

“I didn’t say that he didn’t deserve it. He deserves to get a punch to his face in my opinion but be careful. I’ve heard some stories about him.”

He doesn’t elaborate on what the stories are but I can tell he wants to say something else, so I wait.

“What,” he runs his hand through his hair, “what exactly did he say to you?”

I didn’t expect him to ask but it doesn’t surprise me either. He’s probably just asking so he can fill in Jake.

I hesitate, “He told me to stop pretending that I wasn’t wet for him.”

D.J.’s eyes grow dark, he looks pissed. He closes his eyes tight and slams a fist into his desk, making me jump. People turn to stare, again.

The professor chooses that moment to walk through the door and start class. But instead of listening, I’m being pulled out of my seat and dragged out the door with it shutting behind me.

Still holding onto my arm, D.J. pushes me against the wall. I gasp, not sure what to think. He lets go of my arm and walks away from me while punching the wall. I look around and I’m relieved to see that we are alone.

“Damn it,” he yells.

Well, we may not be alone for too much longer if he keeps yelling.

I stay where I am, letting him get his frustration out.

He turns to look at me and we stare at each other while he’s trying to control himself.

He looks calmer as he walks toward me, keeping our eyes locked. He stops right in front of me, then he tilts his head so that our foreheads are touching.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he whispers with his eyes closed.

“You didn’t.”

He pulls his head away from mine and I want to protest but I don’t. I look at him, he’s got his eyebrows raised as if he’s calling my bluff.

“Well, maybe a little,” I confess.

He gives me a small smile, “It just makes me so mad that he talks to you that way.”

I put my hand on his arm and he visibly relaxes.

“You’re not the only one. Why do you think I did that? I wanted to junk punch him.”

He laughs to himself, “As much as I would have loved to have seen that, please don’t talk about another guys junk in front of me.”

His comment makes me blush.

His face gets serious, “You don’t get it Sarah. I’ve heard some bad stories about him. Stories that make me want to lock you away so he can’t get to you. So that no one can hurt you.”

My heart flutters when he says he wants to protect me, but it’s quickly gone with his next sentence.

“I promised Jake that I would look out for you.”

That hits my heart like a ton of bricks. I take my hand off his arm and step away from him.

“Oh, uhh, I’ve got two brothers D.J., I don’t need another one.” I start to walk away from him.

“Is that what you think?”

I stop walking but don’t turn around, “You just said that you promised Jake,” I pause, “And like I just said, I don’t need another brother. So why don’t you go play hero for someone else?”

I start to walk again but his hand on my shoulder stops me, he spins me around to face him. “Is that what you think? That I’m just protecting you to appease Jake or that I just want to “play hero”?”

I open my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, but he doesn’t let me speak.

“Yes, I would beat the crap out of anyone who took advantage of a girl, no matter who it was. Do you want to know why? Because it’s the right thing to do. Not to “play hero”.”

I instantly feel guilty but what comes next takes me by surprise.

“I told Jake I would protect you,” he pauses looking directly in my eyes, “but to hell with Jake and that promise. I want to protect you because even though we just met, you’re the most important person in my life. I can’t get you out of my head. Constantly wondering what you’re doing, who you’re with or if you’re happy. Since classes started, I’ve been hoping that I would run into you so that I can make your day a little bit better. I’ve never stopped thinking about you, Sarah.”

He looks at his feet, “I’ve felt like this once before, a long time ago. I was ripped out of her life and it sucked the life out of me.”

He looks as if he’s remembering something painful. It makes my heart hurt to know that he’s been hurt before. Maybe we aren’t that different after all.

I’m so lost in thought that he startles me when he speaks again, “You, Sarah, your smile, your laugh, you’ve put life back inside of me.”

He looks up at me and I’m surprised to see such emotion in his eyes, but he doesn’t seem to care.

He’s got a mix of determination and tenderness on his face, “So, yes Sarah, I’m going to protect you. No matter what it takes.”

My heart soars but I’m not exactly sure if that’s what I should be feeling. All these different questions surround me, but I quiet them.

I don’t tell him that deep down I feel the same way. But instead of owning up to it, I’ve been trying to push it away because the only person I’ve felt anything for walked away from me. So, the only thing I can think of to say is, “ok”, as I nod my head hoping that no matter what happens, I won’t get my heartbroken.

D.J.

Admitting how I felt to Sarah was terrifying and it wasn’t exactly how I wanted to tell her but once I started talking, I couldn’t shut up. It was all true though. I’ve always felt like that with her, even years ago. I’ve never stopped thinking about her and I know she feels something for me even if she won’t admit it. I’m just going to have to take my time and get her to open up to me.

I want her walls to crumble.

I want her heart.

I’m practically running into the locker room when I see Jake in Mike’s face.

Well, he already knows. I stand a few feet behind him and wait to see what happens.

Mike nods his head in my direction, “Your boy was there but he’s too much of a wuss to do anything.”

“I didn’t walk in until it was over. If I would’ve known what was going on, then I would’ve done a lot more than just stand by. You talk to her like that again, Jake’s not the only one you will have to worry about,” I warn him.

Coach walks in, “Okay, break it up. Let’s save it for the game tomorrow.”

Then he leaves us to put on our gear and head out to the field.

Since the game is tomorrow, we have a light practice, only lasting about an hour and a half. We decided to have an impromptu poker night at the house.

By the time I’m showered and changed, there is already a crowd of people in the living room.

I spot Brad and start to walk over to him, that’s when I hear her laugh.

I turn the opposite way and head toward the sound. I find her in the kitchen laughing at something Chase said. I can’t help but smile as I take her in. She’s got flour on her face and in her hair but yet she’s never looked more beautiful.

I watch her for a second as I try to wipe the smile off my face before I walk into the kitchen, but I can’t.

“Umm Sarah, you’ve got a little something on your cheek,” I raise my hand to wipe off her cheek.

I hear her intake of breath and I can feel my smile widen. I love the effect I have on her.

“Why exactly do you have flour all over you?” I ask with a laugh which causes her to smile.

She turns and grabs an oven mitt, that’s when I notice all the ingredients all over the counter.

“Baking these,” she says as she pulls out a tray of cookies.

I couldn’t help but moan when the scent hit my nose.

“Mmm chocolate chip. My favorite.”

“Too bad they’re not for you,” Rebecca says from Jake’s lap.

“Hey now,” Jake protests.

“What, you thought if you let us use your oven then you would get some?” Rebecca asks as she stands up to help Sarah place cookies on cooling racks that I’ve never seen before.

“Well, yeah,” he says as if it’s obvious.

The girls laugh then Sarah turns around, “We have enough to make a few batches. Yeah, you boys can have some.”

Jake does a fist pump, “Yes!” and makes everyone laugh. He gets up and snags a cookie off the rack, shoving it into his mouth. I watch as his eyes go wide as he starts to jump around as he fans his mouth.

“Hot, hot.”

Chase and I start laughing out asses off.

“Seriously?” Rebecca says as she gives him an exasperated look, “They’re right out of the oven.”

She rolls her eyes as she grabs a glass of water.

By this time, a few more people have walked into the kitchen to see what’s going on. I’m laughing so hard that when they ask what’s going on, all I can do is point at Jake.

I glance at Sarah who is just shaking her head, “Typical.”

Rebecca hands him the glass and he gulps it down.

He sets the glass down and turns to look at us, “Not funny”, which causes us to laugh even more.

Sarah comes over and stands by me, “Ya know, he’s done that since we were kids. He’s never learned.”

I smile as someone behind me says, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

Knowing Jake, it doesn’t really surprise me either.

“You’re all laughing now but when you taste these cookies, you’ll see why,” Jake says as he hands me one.

“Yeah but if you burn your tong off then you won’t be able to taste them.”

Sarah eyes the cookie in my hand.

It’s not hot but still pretty warm. I take a bite and my mouth explodes with flavor and melted chocolate. “Mmmm,” I can’t help but moan which seems to satisfy him.

“Told ya,” he’s got a smug grin on his face, “You should try her Blueberry Muffins too. So good.”

My head turns to Sarah as a few other people reach for cookies, “You make Blueberry muffins too?”

“Yeah,” she pauses, as I watch her face turn pink. “I’ve always loved them. My friend’s mom gave me her recipe when she realized how much I liked the ones she made. I’ve used it ever since.”

She looks sad for a second as she messes with something on her wrist. I look down and see blue and purple thread intertwined around it.

My heart stops.

It’s a little frayed now but I would recognize it anywhere.

That’s when I realize that the mom she was talking about, was mine.

I remember the day she got it, ironically it was the same day that I gave her the bracelet. I smile at the memory and look up at her, “Would you make some for me sometime?”

She looks at me confused.

“Blueberry muffins,” I remind her.

Nodding her head as her eyes meet mine, “Sure.”

Sarah

It wasn’t long before all the cookies were gone. Jake told me that I could use his shower to get all of the flour off of me. How one person could be so messy, I will never know.

Stepping out of the shower, I realize that my clothes are still covered in flour. Wrapping a towel around myself, I rummage through Jake’s drawers, hoping something will fit decently. Grabbing shorts and a t-shirt, I throw them on and run my fingers through my hair, brushing it out as best as I can. I walk to the kitchen and grab one of the plastic bags that we brought the cookie ingredients in and throw my clothes in it.

I head out to find Rebecca. I know the boys need to rest tonight for the game tomorrow, hopefully everyone will leave soon.

Before I have the chance to find Rebecca, I spot D.J. coming my way out of the corner of my eye. I mentally check myself to make sure that I look alright and then sigh because I remember that I just got out of the shower and have on my brother’s clothes. This is all new to me, I’ve never really cared about how I look.

“Hey Sarah,” he gives me a big smile.

“Hey,” I try to smile back but I’m not sure how it looks since he seems to be laughing at me. My face heats up with embarrassment.

Some guy walks by and grabs D.J.’s attention so I turn and walk away.

I make it a few steps when I hear, “Sarah, wait.”

I turn around as he takes the few steps towards me. I’m nervous, this is the first time we’ve talked since this morning when we were supposed to be in English class. He never takes his eyes away from mine.

He stops when we are just a few inches apart.

“Sorry about that,” he says so low that it reminds me of a cat purring,

Shrugging my shoulders, “it’s okay.”

I nod my head toward the guy he left behind, “He doesn’t look happy though.”

He turns to see who I’m nodding at, “Yeah well, he’s never happy.”

He turns back to me, “I was on a mission before he interrupted.”

I raise my eyebrows, “A mission huh? Good luck with that.”

He stares at me a moment. I can feel the heat in his gaze before he looks away. He says something but it’s more of a mumble.

“What?” I say.

I can tell he’s nervous but I’m not sure why.

“I know I already asked but that was as friends and considering how our conversation went earlier, I was wondering if you would want to go to the movies or something with me tomorrow?”

“Uhh..” I stammer, “like a date?”

“Yeah.”

I’m so surprised by his question that it takes me a minute to answer.

“It’s ok to say no.” He has a small smile on his lips, but I could see how anxious he was.

He takes a step closer. “It’s ok to say no,” he repeats, “but I think you should give me a chance.” He seems a bit more confident when he stops talking. His eyes sear into mine, bright with hope. I’m so mesmerized by the light in his eyes that I barely think before I speak.

“Okay.”

He blinks, “Okay?” as if he wasn’t expecting for me to agree.

I smile, trying to look confident as I nod my head, “okay.”

He blows out air as if he’s relieved and takes my hands in his. I smile at the electricity.

“You won’t regret it,” he reassures me. He kisses the back of my hand and walks away. He looks back and smiles at me before he passes through the doorway.

I am calm on the outside but on the inside, I’m freaking out.

I need to find Rebecca.