Finding You

Chapter Nine

Sarah

As soon as my door is shut, Mike takes off down the road.

I don’t want to cry in front of him anymore so I stare out the window.

Mike breaks the silence.

“I’m guessing you don’t want to go back to the dorms yet. I can drive around if you want but was there somewhere you wanted to go?”

I shake my head and we continue to drive in silence.

Minutes go by and I see Mike grab his phone and plug it in. He keeps pushing buttons like he’s looking for something. He looks up at me with a big grin, I look back at him bemused. He hits one last button and turns up the volume on his stereo as I hear the beginning of Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA”.

He starts to head bob at first then does as Miley says, putting his hands up and shaking his hips as best he can while driving. He nudges me and we both dance until the songs over. We look at each other and laugh.

When I’m finally able to control my laughter, I spot a familiar sign. It’s the park we found on one of our first days here.

“Turn right here.”

He does as I say and pulls into a parking spot.

I feel my phone vibrate so I take it out of my pocket. I have five missed calls and the same amount of text messages. The last one was Bec telling me that she was heading to the dorm so we could talk.

Sorry Bec but I won’t be there.

“Everything okay?” Mike asks.

“Yeah, they’re just wondering where I am.”

“Do you want me to take you back?”

I shake my head, “Not yet. How did you know to do that? Or better yet, why would you do that?”

He looks confused, “What?”

“The song,” I prompt.

“My sister. When she was upset, we used to drive around and blast music. Be goofy. She was always much happier when we did that.”

He sounds distant and sad which makes me believe that there is more to that story but I don’t push him.

“Well, it worked. Thank you.”

I can’t seem to get over how different he is today.

I turn my head to say something but I don’t get the chance to because his lips are on mine.

I’m shocked at first but then I welcome it. I let my mouth move with his for a minute until I pull away.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he confesses.

His eyes open and lock on mine.

“Please tell me you felt something,” he pleads.

“I did. I just..”

He’s silent waiting for me to continue.

“My heart belongs to someone else. I can’t change that.”

He starts to look angry, “Even after what he did? How could you trust him?”

Wait a minute.

“And how could I trust you, Mike? You’re with a different girl every day.”

His mouth opens to argue but he closes it.

“Yes, I felt something. I wouldn’t have let you kiss me if I didn’t. But it’s nothing compared to the way I feel when D.J. kisses me or even touches me. I’m sorry.”

He grunts and stares out of the windshield.

“But thank you for being a friend today. Thank you for bringing me a little bit of happiness in this shitty day.”

He looks at me and I give him a genuine smile.

“Now come on, we are wasting the scenery,”

I push open the door and climb out of the car. He follows behind me as I make my way over to the pond and sit down under a tree.

“You look like you need to be alone.”

He extends his hand out to me as he hands me his music player and earbuds. I look up at him questioningly.

“You seemed pretty happy with the music before, I figured you could give it another shot.”

I take them from him as he grins.

“I won’t leave but I will give you some space. I’ll be over there,” he points to another tree then starts to walk away.

I settle into my spot as I put the earbuds in and hit “play”.

The first song that comes on is by someone named Griffin Peterson. It’s pretty mellow and seems to help me relax. I search through to see if he has anymore from this guy and find two albums. I hit “shuffle” and let the music drown out my heartache.

****

My body jerks awake, I must have fallen asleep. I look to my right to find Mike but he’s not there.

My eyes sweep around the park.

My heart skips a beat when they land on D.J., who has a fat lip. He doesn’t move when our eyes meet.

I stand up slowly.

The earbuds fall on the ground, I grab them and shove them into my pocket as I walk towards him.

I stop an arms length away from him as we stare at each other.

Letting my eyes roam over his face, he looks sad, defeated. I take a deep breath before I speak, “How did you know I was here?”

“Chase said that you left with Mike,” he says this as if he has a bad taste in his mouth. “We kept calling him but he wouldn’t answer until a half hour ago. He finally told us where you guys were.”

“Does Jake know that you’re here?”

“Yeah. He wouldn’t let me come alone.”

He nods his head toward the parking lot.

Jake, Rebecca and Chase are sitting on Jake’s tailgate watching us.

I can’t help but look for Mike’s Mustang. I mean, he said he wouldn’t leave me. It’s in the same spot he parked in when we first got here. He must have seen me looking for him because he gets out of his car and leans against it.

“Did he hurt you?” D.J. asks.

My eyes shift back to him as I shake my head slightly, “No. Surprisingly, he was just what I needed.”

“Do you have something going on with him now too?” he spits out fiercely.

It takes everything in me not to bite back.

“I am nothing but grateful to him for helping me out today.”

I can see the hurt on his face.

“And how did he do that? Put you on his list of one night stands?”

“Really? I’m not the one who woke up half n***d with someone who is not your girlfriend.”

I regret it as soon as I say it.

D.J.’s eyes close tight while taking a few deep breaths. When he opens them all I see is sorrow.

“What am I doing?”

He runs his hand frustratingly through his hair.

“D.J.,” I reach my hand out placing it on his arm.

“I’m sorry Sarah. I didn’t mean that.”

“I know,” I say softly.

He puts his hands on my cheeks framing my face.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you, disappointing you, in any way. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do,” he pauses. “Last night, nothing happened between me and any other girls. I promise you. I have waited so long to find you and I wouldn’t screw that up. I love you.”

My heart burst with so much happiness that I almost miss what he says next.

“And if Mike is what will make you happy then I will let you go.”

Umm what??

I laugh half-heartedly as I put my arms around his neck. “Why do you think I had Mike bring me here?”

He looks confused, “Because you love this place.”

“Yeah, I do.”

I unhook my arms from his neck and walk closer to the water.

“Ever since we came here that day, I’ve thought about this place as “our place”. I needed to clear my head without actually being near you. I thought it would help me figure things out.”

He stands beside me as he whispers, “Did it help?”

I nod my head slowly.

He waits in silence for me to speak again.

I take a deep breath and turn to face him.

“I was in love once before. His name was Daniel.”

I try to decipher the emotions that are playing over his features but I know that if I don’t tell him this now then I might never tell him.

So I keep talking.

“We were best friends. I always had butterflies whenever he was around. He was the one person who didn’t use me to get to my brothers, he was around for me. He made me happy no matter what we were doing. Whether we were watching movies, eating blueberry muffins or down at the creek, he always made it fun. He made me feel loved.” I pause letting the tears flow. “I loved him.”

D.J.’s eyes are wet with unshed tears.

He lifts his arm up as if he’s going to put it around me but then he puts it back down by his side.

I let my tears flow for a minute before getting them under control.

“I haven’t seen him in seven years.”

D.J.

My heart breaks as I see how truly broken Sarah is. She’s crumbling right in front of me.

“Come here.”

I wraps my arms around her as I bury my face in her hair as I repeat how sorry I am.

“D.J., there is more.”

I loosen my hold on her but I don’t look at her as guilt consumes me. She puts her hands on my face guiding me to look at her.

When I finally do, I’m surprised at her words.

“I wasn’t telling you that so you would feel sorry for me. I told you that because well... Daniel had my heart and when he left, it shattered. It was never whole again until I found you.”

I pinch my eyebrows together. Did I imagine those words?

“You make me so happy, you make me feel safe. The butterflies are back,” she pauses. “I haven’t felt this alive in a long time and I don’t want to lose it again. I love you, D.J.”

I stare at her wondering if I have been hearing her right. But the look on her face tells me that she said exactly what I thought she did.

Her smile is infectious.

I can’t help but smile back as I pick her up and kiss her. We’re both breathing heavy as we break apart and I rest my forehead on hers.

“I was so scared that I was gonna lose you. I can’t go through that again. I’m so sorry, Sarah.”

“You won’t lose me. I just needed some time. I think deep down I knew that you wouldn’t do that to me but I couldn’t deny what was right in front of me. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened last night?”

She pulls back as she speaks. I want her near but I know that she’s giving me space to talk.

I spot a bench a few feet away. I reach out my hand, anxious to see if she will take it. She doesn’t even hesitate as she grabs it and I’m relieved.

Pulling her toward the bench with me, I gather my thoughts. Might as well start from the beginning.

“Jake and I went to get more ice. We had just gotten to the gas station when I got your text. On our way back, we stopped to help a woman change a flat tire. We couldn’t just leave her stranded. Anyway, that’s why we took so long to get back. After I put the ice away, I overheard a group of guys talking about the “hot girl that Mike had his hands all over”. That’s when I looked at the dance floor and saw you.”

My hands clench into fists at the memory.

“Next thing I know, I’ve got Mike pinned to the floor. I got pulled off of him after a couple punches though. I walked back to Jake’s room to make sure that you’re okay but instead, I hear that you wanted him to touch you.” I cringe as I say it out loud, “Man, If that wasn’t a blow to the heart, I don’t know what is.”

“Mike kissed me today,” she says timidly.

When I grasp what she said, I’m up off the bench and headed toward the parking lot.

She grabs my arm, “Wait D.J., can you let me explain?”

I spin towards her, “You have five seconds to tell me why I shouldn’t make his eyes match.”

“Make it ten,” she says.

I motion for her to get on with it.

“I’m gonna tell you exactly what I told him.”

“Which is?” I prompt her.

“That I felt something.”

My hands ball into fists as I turn in Mike’s direction but she steps in front of me. “

“I wasn’t done.”

I stop moving as she talks.

“I felt something but it was nothing compared to what I feel when you kiss me. Compared to what I feel when you’re just near me.”

God, I love this girl.

I smirk, “Just cause that’s the way you feel, doesn’t mean I can’t knock his head off for kissing you.”

I pull her close as I whisper in her ear, “You’re mine.”

I feel goosebumps on her arms as I run my fingers up them.

“Yeah, I am,” she says, “but you didn’t finish your story.”

I fall into step with her as she pulls me back to the bench.

“So what happened after you walked out of Jake’s room?”

“Went out back, had a couple drinks. It was getting late so I came inside and started playing Poker. Had no idea it was strip poker though, at least not until clothes started coming off. I quit playing when I found out. I was gonna head to my room but I remember sitting on the couch and I must have passed out.”

She nods her head, “And the girl?”

“Brad told me that she laid with me after I was already passed out and no one bothered to move her.” I pause, “I actually thought she was you this morning until Jake started yelling at me. After that, I made it clear that she needs to leave us alone.”

She smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss.

“Are we okay now?” I ask her.

She grabs my hand, “we’re better than okay.”

“I just want to sit here for awhile but I know they’re waiting on us.”

We both look toward the parking lot as her belly growls loudly. “Well, that was embarrassing.”

I laugh quietly, “We will get some food in you soon.”

“Time to face the music.”

Sarah

Everyone stares at us as we walk hand in hand back to the truck.

Rebecca jumps off the tailgate and hugs me.

“Are you okay?” she asks not caring who will hear. They all stare at me waiting for my answer.

My eyes find D.J.’s and I smile, “Never been better.”

Jake pulls me aside and looks me over.

“I’m fine. I promise.”

He just stares at me for what seems like forever, scrutinizing me, “Well, holy hells bells.”

I pinch my eyebrows together, “what?”

“You went and fell in love with him, didn’t you?”

I feel my eyes widen and my cheeks get warm.

“I’m glad you’re okay but umm, excuse me sis.”

I’m dumbfounded as he walks away from me towards D.J. and puts him in a headlock.

“Jake,” I warn.

Without looking at me he says, “Don’t get your panties in a wad, Sarah. I just want to talk to him.”

“Eww. Please don’t say that again”

I push Chase towards them in case something were to happen but instead of going forward, he steps back away from them.

“ I’m not getting a black eye,” he says as he shakes his head.

I shift my eyes his way, “Chicken.”

He smirks at me as we turn back toward the boys. They look tense and it’s making me freak out inside, not being able to hear what’s being said.

They finally do the manly pat on the back and start walking this way.

“What was that about?” I ask staring at them.

D.J. puts his arm around me as he answers, “Your brother doing his job.”

I narrow my eyes at Jake but he just winks at me.

D.J. opens the door to Jake’s truck gesturing for me to get in but a figure catches my eye. “I’ll be right back.”

I jog up to Mike who was getting in his car.

“Hey.” I grab his arm lightly to get him to turn around.

His eyes widen in surprise, “Hey”

“I uhh, I just wanted to say thanks for today. You’re a good friend.”

I hand him his ipod and earbuds before I turn away. But before I could take a step forward, I had to turn back.

“I don’t know what happened to make you the way that you are but I hope one day you will smile again.”

He stares at me with mournful eyes as if he were remembering something painful before he nods and gets in his car.