Twice the charm

4. The thin line between hate and love 1

LUCY

Never had I felt so good about getting that part out of my chest. It threw my head up high so why even stop there.

"‘And, trust me, I didn’t need some bribe before I scooted out if your life. You were selfish and completely insensitive to everything I had to face while I was your wife. You treated me like crap and your family joined the bandwagon. So trust me, I do not hate you. I am grateful." I condemned, my voice becoming shaky as the residual mental pain crept over.

Grant was speechless. That was the only word for it. The dead me he was so fond of would never lash at him like that. I had him to take for the growth. Grant took a lot of pride in himself. He enjoyed being the center of attraction and accepted downright adoration and worship. It made me treat every being around him less human. I had been a victim but then, I would take all his abuse with love and adoration, I did not have the guts to speak out lest I said something to bruise his ego but after months of torture, I swore to myself that I would never let another man make me his pushover.  Never again.

"I did not know..."

"Oh please, Grant. The moment I had the miscarriage, You tossed those divorce papers in my face. I think you knew very much what you were doing and you have the guts to call me a bitch."

It was all out. The bitterness that had welled up in me and overflowed since I set my eyes on him again. Until now, I had been sincere with how deep my grief ran. But then, there had not been an opportunity to vent those feelings before. It felt uplifting.

"So you felt the money was your due? For all the torture you had to endure in the hands of me and my family because whether you believe it or not, I did not send you the divorce papers."

His incessant mention of the money I did not even touch was beginning to piss me off. He would never change. Even while I was his wife, He would always believe his family over his other half.  There was no use trying to defend me and my actions but I had pride and Grant Clayton would never drag it in the mud for a second time.

"Again Grant, I was offered the money because your father was afraid of what power a broken girl like me would have if she ran her mouth but I did not take it. My freedom from you was the greatest due." I muttered.

"I still hate you for what you did," Grant admitted with emphasis.

Good lord. I should be the one pumping that line o his face a million times. I was the one who was hurt repeatedly but here he was still trying to break me. He might have grown in looks and taste but he was still the same narcissistic son of b***h.

"I wish I gave a flying fuck." My heart sank seeing the rage flare in his eyes but I would not take it back. It took me fifteen years to say it but now that I had, I finally had peace. Months after my miscarriage, None of them visited. Not even her ex-mother in law who was a mother of two herself. They did not care and Grant had the guts to act like he was the only one that was hurt. In fact, I felt he should be grateful that I spared him the shocking news I received after the divorce. What came to me as amazing news would have been bad news for the Clayton household. So I kept my peace and kept the unwelcome announcement of Grant's child. It might have been out of selfish reason but Grant did not look back for a single second. He went on with his life and I went along with mine.

The car stopped and I gazed out at the proposed square. It had been enough torture just babbling about the wrong choices we made while in the car. I was damn sure I could not bear another second of his company. There was still grief embedded within my soul. It wouldn't be long before I spilled out my secret and then I and Clayton's problem would be far greater than hating and blaming ourselves.

"Grant, I'm going to catch a cab back to the office and say you canceled," I told him abruptly. "You can visit on a working day if you like and see the house with someone who wouldn't give you bad memories."

"You don’t really think your boss would swallow that story right?"Grant's shrewd gaze lingered on me and his mouth gave a smirk.

"Do I look like someone who cares?"

"You still make stupid decisions in the high of the moment I see."

The redness that ran up my cheeks betrayed me. I knew exactly what he was getting at trying to push my buttons.

"Shut up!" I hissed back despite knowing Grant Clayton was not the kind of person to take a hint. Neither did he have chastity or shame.

"You also still blush like red roses around me even after all these years, "He teased, visibly taking pleasure in my embarrassment. ‘And, I would be lying if I did not say you still turn me on hard and fast."

Grant lost me in the last part. My ears had to be betraying me. I couldn’t believe what he said. As much as it was repulsive considering he was in a relationship with someone else, his words still made my lips dry. Instinctively, I flicked my tongue over my lower lips to moisturize them. My gaze met his and I instantly regretted it. Lust dominated his gray orbs. It reminded me of the old Grant. What was I even saying? They were one and the same person. There was no denying it.

"...Very funny."  I tried to say with indifference but failed miserably at it. It had been years since I had seen Grant. It had fifteen years trying to get the 'Grant effect' out of my system but yet one encounter bloodied my resolve.

A wicked smile curved up his lips, the same one that had ruined my life sixteen years ago. He inched forward and whispered in a devastatingly calm voice. "Don't pretend Lucy. We are both feeling it right now."