Surviving My Fate

I had been heavily distracted my nose deep in a paranormal romance as the clock struck 9. The first of the loud dings ring out echoing through the empty stacks. The large grandfather clock is old and carved with delicate patterns swirling in and out as they overlap in an intricate manner. The clock continues to let out its 9 loud dings to signify the time. I drag my eyes up the rest of the clock knowing I’ll find the beautifully ornate minute hand finally resting on the 12. Time had flown by tonight which is typically the case; I find it easy to get lost here. The library itself is pretty empty this time of year since the students are out on summer vacation. It makes my already simple enough job here easier. I spend the beginning of my days putting books back in their proper homes and the evening planning my escape; tonight that escape was in the form of a book. I place my bookmark on the page and close my book sliding it under the desk before I begin to gather my belongings. Being the calculated person I am I run through my mental checklist ticking off the completed tasks. Satisfied that everything seems to be in order I do a double scan of the library and head for the doors. Stepping outside the warm summer air leaves a sticky layer on my exposed skin the humidity quickly making it feel hotter than it is. Pulling the door closed I slide my key into the lock turning it until I hear the tell-tell click of the bolt latching into place and know the doors are now locked. I give a gentle tug on the handles to confirm what I already know and prepare to leave. Though my night was easy, I am beyond exhausted. This is just my second job or maybe fourth, that is if you count being a full-time mom and student too. I had relegated myself to picking up a second job at the library a few months back when I decided to pursue a psychology degree. My online classes were going well, the scholarships and grants having eased the financial burden but the extra money was still needed. Letting out a deep sigh I finally turn away from the door my mind drifting into territory I know is dangerous, I’m going to miss this place. I enjoyed working in the library, the smell of the books, the quiet speaking volumes, entrancing as all the different worlds danced behind the covers enticing you into their depths of knowledge. Shaking my head free of my thoughts and feelings I walk across the parking lot toward my beat-up old Honda. Some would assume that’s just a saying when I describe my car not realizing it’s a very literal expression. My soon-to-be ex-boyfriend had punched the car more times than I care to count leaving dents almost everywhere. Pressing my key fob I see the lights flash and hear the click of the doors unlocking, I throw the door open jump in and sit my purse on the passenger seat. My life is not where I imagined it would be. I lean my head on the steering wheel and take some calming breaths. For a moment I allow myself to reminisce. Flashback I was sitting in my senior yearbook class discussing how to make this year's yearbook better than any that had come before when the intercom came on “Miss Cassandra Knightly to the office please” principal Owen says before the intercom cuts off once more. I quickly gather my belongings and head towards the office. As I walk I take in the decorated halls and smile. I had just turned 18 this weekend and school was in full swing preparing for prom, I was hoping to be named prom Queen another title to add to my many accolades. I had a full-ride scholarship to Yale, I was valedictorian, top of the class and in pursuit of all my dreams, life was great. I open the door to the office and step inside. Mrs. Finch sits behind her desk typing away, as usual, my presence in the office was common as I gave tours for all new students and figured that was why I was called here now. “Good morning Mrs. Finch,” I say giving a small smile as she looks up. “Ah Cassie so sweet as always, Mr. Owen is waiting for you in his office” she replies. “Thank you” I call out as I head to the door and begin to turn the knob. I enter the office and three sets of eyes settle on me making me shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. There were two new faces identical in their features minus their eye color, the young man closest to me had bright crystal blue eyes while his counterpart had deep brown eyes. “Miss Knightly” principal Owen says clearing his throat, “these are our new students Ian” he gestures to the blue-eyed boy “and Isaiah” he then gestures to the brown-eyed twin. “They will be finishing their school year here and will need the grand tour, I have had Mrs.Finch set their schedules to mirror yours for the remainder of the week and we will set to getting them in their proper classes next week.” This was how Mr.Owen liked to play things he would see where students thrived and then make their schedules for them, I could see these two excelling in sports with their rather large builds and rippling muscles my cheeks flush red at my inner assessment of them. “Yes sir, shall we begin the tour?” I ask turning to open the door again and motioning for the twins to follow. End of flashback Sighing I start the engine and pull down the road. That was the beginning of how I had ended up here, working two jobs and plotting a getaway so my son and I could start over. Only a few more weeks until I would finally have enough saved to leave for good. I’d been planning my escape for the last six months ever since Ian had hit our son for the first time. He was only 18 months old at the time. His grave mistake being he asked his dad to watch paw patrol. It still pains me that I as his mother had allowed it to happen. That I had chosen such a horrible man to be his father. What kind of monster even hits a toddler? I shudder at the thought. I began searching for a place far away that night and that’s when I found a cabin up in Wyoming for sale. It is beautiful, a small piece of heaven that I could already imagine us calling home. So I took the step I knew I needed to by contacting the seller the next morning. She was an older woman who had recently lost her husband, and his recent passing made her eager to sell. I divulged my life story to her. By the time I finished I was crying, worried, and ashamed but thankfully she agreed to the terms I laid out for her. After I told her about my predicament she almost immediately took the cabin off the market and started helping me plan my son and I’s escape. Gloria had originally been asking 65000 for the cabin and had wanted to sell right out but I was unable to do that. So I told her I could pay her 5000 down and a monthly fee until I could come up with the rest and at that point, I would make a balloon payment to settle my debt. That same day I got my second job at the library and enrolled in courses my prior classes and scholarships making it possible to pick up where I left off. I would get my bachelors in two weeks and I had set up a job in Wyoming last Monday with a school that would offer daycare while I worked. Things were finally coming together. I’d been so lost in my thoughts, driving on autopilot I hardly noticed I’d made it home as I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex. I shut the car off, grab my purse, and head towards Ms. Harriet’s door. She’s my sweet, elderly downstairs neighbor who is always so kind as to watch Alex while I work, she never mentions anything to Ian either and I commend her for that. I use the spare key Ms. Harriet gave me to enter her apartment and gently scoop Alex up off the couch. Harriet is snoring in her chair and I do my best not to wake her “Goodnight Ms. Harriet” I whisper closing the door. My apartment sits directly over ms. Harriet’s, the complex wasn’t well built, the thin walls and floors gave my neighbors more knowledge of my situation with Ian than I liked to admit. Ms. Harriet had called the cops many times due to his abuse. Alex was getting heavy in my arms as I climbed the last steps and leaned against the door to find the right key. Slipping the key in the lock I open the door pushing it open far enough to slide easily inside. I make sure to latch the bolts back then I sidle farther into the darkened room. The apartments were small, quaint, and didn’t have much space for the families who lived in them. Ours was no different but we were lucky enough to have a two-bedroom so Alex could have his own space regardless of how small it tended to be. Making my way carefully down the narrow hallway I find Alex’s doorknob and carry him into his room. My baby boy is out and I’m grateful he could sleep through anything. I lay him gently in his bed carefully removing his Spider-Man slippers before covering him up and brushing a tender kiss across his forehead. As always I take my time to admire my beautiful red-haired boy. He had grown so much recently. The funds from my second job came in handy for that too as he needed all new clothes. My son is a spitting image of me as a child from his big grey eyes, fiery hair, and a sprinkling of freckles all the way down to his button nose. I had never realized how grateful I was that he hadn’t taken after Ian until now. Dredging up the monster I pull myself back to the forefront and head to the kitchen to tidy up before he can make his drunken entrance of the night.