Mated Before Love

“St-stop..Daddy please” I know no matter how much I beg or cry he won’t stop. *s***h s***h s***h* “YOU UNGRATEFUL C*NT. THIS IS THE MERCY YOU DESERVE. YOU KILLED MY MATE!” He was right. I was a murderer. Am a murderer. Soon he’ll start letting the twins come down and get their thrill in too. Tessa was still a bit precious about using the tools after my blood had been spilt on them something I expected she’ll get over and Luke he’s training to be like our father. Won’t be long until he’s whipping and slicing as tough if not tougher then dad. *s***h s***h s***h s***h s***h* he gives no mercy to his whippings something I’ve learnt in my 10 years as I get older the beating a get harder and I heal slower every time. In 6 years I should have my wolf to give me some strength if I make it that far. “YOU b***h. YOU VILE STAIN OF A THING. I SHOULD’VE KILLED YOU LIKE YOU KILLED HER!” My mother died the night I was born. There was a rouge attack and she was a month off giving birth to me. Naturally my dad hid my mum and siblings so that he could protect the pack. Being one of our elite warriors he was one of our strongest defenders. My mum, who was also an elite warrior, refused to just sit there while her mate and children’s father was risking his life. She ran into the battle and found my father surrounded by 6 large rouges he took down 2 then another 6 came. Severely outnumbered my mum knew she was his only hope and dove into the battle with him. They thought they had cleared out all the rouges in there area but there was one waiting in the shadows to attack my father. Right as the rouge leaped to kill my father my mother had launched herself at the rouge and took the hit. My father quickly mind linked the pack doctor and Alpha and told them about the hit my mother took but it was too late. The rouge and slashed her with his claws from her neck down to her stomach there was no way to repair the damage caused and she would soon bleed out. The doctor arrived finally as she was nearly her last breathes and told my father he had to deliver me then or risk loosing us both. It was the last day my dad had ever cried watching his mate slip into death whilst getting an under developed pup. The doctor had told my father that if she hadn’t been pregnant it is likely her body could have recovered from the hit and she would’ve lived, an uncomfortable life, but she’d be alive. It was good that the doctor had waited a few days before giving my father the final report of the extent of her injuries, my mother always wanted to name me Haven and my father wished to carry out her wish. If he’d known I was the reason she’d died I probably would’ve been named Baine or Murderess as that’s all I was to him after that. 4 years later *beep beep beep* I quickly snapped the alarm clock off hoping that this time I was quick enough and the noise didn’t wake anyone. I sprang off my mat on the floor and rushed to the kitchen to clean and prepare their breakfast like I do every morning at 3am. I was hopeful that I would get some today as it’d been a week since I’d earned a punishment. By the time I finished cleaning the kitchen it was already 4am I still had the three bathrooms the to spare rooms the lounge and dining area and to cook breakfast. Luckily this time I didn’t need to clean the basement as we haven’t been down there. When I had finally finished the cleaning it was 6:30am and I still had to cook a big breakfast for everyone meaning eggs, bacon, sausages, hash browns and toast. After 7 years of practice an hour to cook that much food was child’s play and I had it all done with time to set up and finish just as everyone came down for breakfast. Tessa was first down as always, felt like she was the sun and everyone should see her first and any/every opportunity. She came into the dining hall with her face stuck to her phone to her friend Kate talking about some party and boys they wanted to f**k. As she saw me she gave me a swift kick to the knee making sure I would lose balance. As Luke came down the stairs he saw me trying to get back off the floor and piled onto me ensuring a limb got dislocated in the process, during school he liked the injuries he occurred to be less noticeable unless people took actual notice of myself besides the bullies. Soon father would be down and I have to make sure he doesn’t see me on the floor otherwise all chances of food for the day are out the window. Right on schedule he comes barreling down the stairs I could hear his breathing from the dining hall and knew this wasn’t going to be good for me. Once in front of me he quickly got me to the ground beating every possible surface under the face including my neck, he pulled out a knife from his belt (something he knew to keep there as an elite warrior) and started slicing between my ribs only deep enough to bleed and not cause too much harm. He then kicked me as hard as he could into the wall cracking my spine and head against it, this will leave me in terrible pain whilst I endure school for the day. There’s no need to guess what today is when he’s like this. Happy birthday you murderer. I stayed silent to not anger him further I have assignments to hand in for myself and the other students. He stalked over to me in a grunt, crushing my hand with his heavy grade combat boots (I doubt it’s broken but definitely having bone bruising) “You have 2 minutes to be out of this house or your going in the basement early” with that I all but sprinted to my little attic room and changed into the clothes that would at leave cover most of the wounds. I bolted out of the house so fast I’d forgotten to tie my shoes, I found myself face planting the ground about two blocks from our house which happened to be right outside the pack house. A beautiful white Victorian styled building I was so in awe of the pack house I hadn’t noticed all the other kids laughing at me, well all except the future alpha, beta and gamma. The Gamma, Alex shot me a look of sympathy which was was gone as quickly as it appeared. The Beta, Reece looked unfazed at my fall but scouted the scenery behind me, most likely assessing why I was running so frantic. Finally the Alpha, Chase looked indifferent to my appearance on the ground instead he looked as though he was scheming on the advantages he could take to humiliate me further. Gamma Alex approached me causing a hush amongst the kids, he reached down (must’ve been to help me up) I flinched of course as no hand held before me was anything but to inflict punishment. This caused the Gamma, Beta and Alpha to share a look amongst themselves for a fleeting moment before the Gamma helped me to my feet. Although the gesture was simple there was no limits to the thank yous and praise he had received from me. Tessa and Luke had caught up to us witnessing the scene in play and decided I’d had life too easy again, Tessa had walked passed with a humph knocking me back to the ground with a thud whilst Luke happened to be stepping right where my dislocated arm had landed causing countless ripples of pain to shoot from there. “Oh no, I’m so sorry please forgive me. It was an accident don’t murder me” Tessa sobbed with her crocodile tears streaming “She murdered her own mother why would you be sis” Luke played along with pretending to console his beloved twin sister. The embarrassment was instant as a crowd had gathered around me and the Gamma practically begging to defend my sister’s honour, the Beta intervened “This is neither the time nor place to hold your family drama. Important guests are arriving soon and calling a lowly Omega a murderer will look harshly upon our Alphas for allowing her to live after the incident” although there was no emotion to the way he’d said it I felt as though there was something not being said about why I was defended. Once we had arrived at school the wounds my dad had inflicted began to peel open and blood started to seep out and pool in my hands, I bolted out of the classroom as quickly as I could and ran towards the bathroom colliding with a wall midway. As I looked up it became evident that a wall would’ve been better to run into as I had just crashed into Alpha Chase and fell hardly to the floor “Please forgive me Alpha I wasn’t looking” I spoke barely above a whisper. “Your a clumsy, pathetic Omega barely anything above human-“ he stopped mid-rant as he looked at his shirt the blood had ran into his shirt when I crashed into him. Before he could ask further questions I ran as far and as fast as my legs could take me. Unfortunately since it was the start of the school day that I disappeared the school had contacted my father who was mid drowning sorrows in his forth bottle of Whisky for the morning, when I arrived home I’d wished I’d stayed to get berated by my Alpha. As it was the anniversary of my mothers death he had acquired a new tool to help him with todays punishment it was a meat masher with razor sharp spikes and edges all made out of pure silver. The pain of this particular punishment was quickly a favour to him and thus was placed into regular rotation. After about twenty minutes of being battered with the meat masher I was on the edge of darkness and welcomed it gracefully as my father transitioned to the barbed whip (only for the worst punishments necessary) the coldness enveloped me. 2 years later On the eve of my 16th birthday I was strung up to a hook in our basement roof waiting for Luke to take his first solo punishment infliction. I had been I’ll for a day following a punishment which involved wolfsbane and was unable to complete any of my regular tasks meaning that Tessa , Luke and Dad had all had to feed themselves. Although this was Luke’s first solo punishment he was as unyielding as our father and had even designed another new tool for punishment. He admired the design said it was “An elegant and effective tool to put you in your place” and sure enough to anyone not on the receiving end it could look elegant it was designed to peel layers of skin off as he turned the dial. The blade razor sharp and pure silver, like always, was positioned above my back ready to start peeling away the layers. It wasn’t a thick gap the layers would be thinner than paper but the burning and scarring would be extensive. Our father stumbled in as he was starting taking a seat in the corner opening his bottle of alcohol ready for his favourite show to begin, while he wasn’t the one inflicting the punishment he got off on watching just the same. Luke began shortly later and for once I couldn’t hold back the screams, if the basement hadn’t been sound proofed you could surely hear me from the pack house. I don’t know how many layers he did, he’s pace was meticulously slow grasping for as much pain as he could when he disabled the device. I knew it was too early to be the end so when the barbed whip slashed against my skin I was all but surprised. “I hope you know that this is the least you deserve, mum was a beautiful woman. Selfless, kind and generous she risked herself for our father but because of you she died. You will never not pay for this.” I let Luke go never fighting his words, he was right I murdered her “Since it’s the 16th anniversary of her death tomorrow I’m gonna give you 64 lashes with the various whips. 16 for each of the years you took from myself, Tessa and dad and then the last 16 for us having to generously keep your murdering ass around” my father grunted his approval at this punishment his eyes seemed to gleam in satisfaction and passion, I’m sure this will be apart of every birthday celebration I receive. “Count the lashes you c*nt” *s***h s***h s***h* “th-th-three” the pain was intensified by the raw burning skin “Wrong. I’m going to have to start over. COUNT PROPERLY!” *s***h s***h s***h* “o-one, t-t-two, th-three” I sobbed between counting this both delighted and infuriated Luke as I was not calling clearly enough, the lashes were fuelled with harder force after this *s***h s***h s***h* “f-four” this pain was unbearable surely I’d pass out soon “f-f-five” the darkness is slowly taking over “s-s-s-six” and with that I was out. I came back to around the last 3 lashes this held less force then the start I would say he’s tiring out, *s***h s***h s***h* and with the the lashes were over. He and my father stumbled up the crooked stairs and left me there hanging by the chains and soon I welcomed darkness again. I don’t know how long I had been out that time when I woke Tessa was pulling me down off the hook most likely to see if I was still breathing. Much to her dismay I was, the huff didn’t escape me but I understood. “Hey, wake up” to my surprise Tessa was trying to talk to me, something she hadn’t done since the day of the 14th anniversary in front of the Alpha, Beta and Gamma. “I-I, what is the t-time” was all I could get out. “5am” the bluntly spoke in a bored matter. Sh*t, I was out for too long I need to start cleaning and cooking. “You don’t need to cook just drink this water and rest” I stared up at her dumbly I couldn’t believe her words. Rest! Was she finally willing to forgive me. With a soft thank you I took the water, maybe due to my screaming it seemed to burn my throat as it went down. She didn’t speak another word, took the glass and left and with that I payed my head on the blood drenched floor and passed out. By the time I had awoken it was little past 7:30am, realisation had hit me that it was finally my 16th birthday and my wolf should have come ‘hello?’ Silence ‘hello? Is there anyone there?’ I was left with stone cold silence I tried for about 10 minutes when it dawned on me. I had no wolf. The heartache had broken me, I no longer had any fight left to keep going with this torture. All my life I had dreamed of the day I got my wolf that way I wouldn’t be alone anymore, but I got what a murderer deserves. I’d sobbed on that ground for what seemed hours before I made my way up the stairs. When I got to the kitchen my father was waiting for me, instead of belittling me he asked but one question “Wolf?” One word, just one word he wanted to know if I had been blessed after everything I had done. I grimly shook my head no and he laughed. My stone cold father who I had never seen smile was practically a hyena at the news that I was wolfless, with that I stood there and let him laugh. He’d thrown some clothing at me when he was finally finished laughing and told me to go to school. I had changed quickly and ran as fast as I could to the grounds, by the time I had gotten there the kids were all on a 20minute break and watched as I entered. I found myself in the middle of the hallway circled by everyone laughing, pointing and whispering, it was then I had looked at myself “wolfless” was written all over the clothing my father had given me, he had now branded me in front of everyone. As I stood there I just let them laugh and say what they needed too, I was too ashamed to say anything tears had started to rush down. Not because of the fellow peers and what they were saying, but because of my fathers doing he wished I not had a wolf for what I had done to him and he got his wish. I would always be this thing that just is around now. After the break had ended and everyone returned to their classes I was still planted to the spot, too stunned to move just taking everything in. It was then I had heard footsteps approaching me, I bowed my head as I would not have any standing to look anyone in the eye ever again when they had stopped. Three sets of feet stood before me “Look up” I did as commanded and found myself looking in the eyes of our Beta Reece, beside him were Gamma Alex and Alpha Chase. “Wolfless?” The only word said after, with the level of distain I understood who it came from, no Alpha wants a wolfless Omega in their pack it reflects poorly on the pack itself. I found myself looking to Gamma Alex and then hanging my head, his eyes were filled with confusion and questions but I had no answers. “I murdered my mother its what I deserve” and with that I bowed and walked off.