Just a ghost girl

The Room

It felt like forever for Dylan to realize what I had just told him. How hard it was to act quickly, destroy the door, take away the machine and end this pain that I felt inside me. They said women always made men wait for them but it was definitely the opposite.

I felt like I was losing my mind. This crushing pain inside me didn't make any sense. During the last month, I had had a small annoying weight inside me that had bothered me from time to time. I couldntä understand how that small weight had grown this massive overwhelming pain. It would have been easy to think that the pains were from my body from the injuries I had suffered. But it didn't feel like physical pain. It was more like my heart, my mind or my soul was hurting. 

There was no strength left in me and I collapsed on the ground. It was very confusing. I wasn't tired I just didn't have any strength left. The loneliness I felt was horrible. How could a human feel so alone? If I had just known what was the cause of this pain and feelings I could have tried to process it. But it was out of the blue without any warning. And it felt like no one could take this pain away. So even when Dylan started signing his men to break the door I didn't feel relieved. There was no way he could make the pain go away.

They put some playdough-looking stuff on the door, probably explosives. Everyone backed up but I didn't have to. For a person suffering so much it was kind of ironic that I could even feel the air pressure caused by the explosive. My ears weren't ringing. Although I would probably have preferred ringing ears and muscle aches than whatever this horrible thing was.

The rebels went inside. I couldn't see because of the smoke. Most of me didn't care at all. It was hard to focus on anything else than for the pain. And the little part of me that still had some kind of interest didn't want to see the body. It was probably for the best just to close my eyes and wait for the emptiness that would come when they disconnected the machine. 

It felt like forever and nothing happened. The hologram of me was still there suffering on the ground. How long it would take to steal one machine. I really wished I had had my body so that I could have gone after them and show how things were done quickly.

After a time that felt like a lifetime, the rebels came back. They were in hurry. Our units were probably on their way here. Dylan was the only one that stopped in front of me and said:

"The room is empty, your body isn't here."

I blinked my eyes and tried with my weak hands to pull myself up. My head hurt like a hell. I tried to understand his words and look inside the room. My body wasn't here what did he mean. This was the room I was certain of it. The first time I had woken up as a hologram it had been in front of this room and there had been a doctor telling me of my situation. I had hardly listened to the doctor and had just stared at the room. The room had scared me.

The only couple of times I had found the courage to even come to the medical level. Some of them were a must since there were doctors that had wanted to give me some information. Only twice before today had I seen the door in the room where my body was. This was the room, my body was there. Otherwise, I had only been scared of some random room and worse of all it would have meant that everyone had lied to me. 

The smoke faded away and I could see the room. It was messed up probably by the explosion and the rebels but it looked more like a break room for the medical staff than a treatment room. So Dylan wasn't the one lying. And because of the break-room feel that the room gave to me, it didn't seem like they had moved my body when the rebels had arrived. It was quite clear that my body had never been here.

"I don't understand," I said to Dylan, confused, "It's even a f*******n area for me to go so that I won't get traumatized..."

I couldn't finish the sentence because it sounded ridiculous. How stupid can a person be? Of course, it was f*******n for me to go there and find out that they had all been lying to me. Dylan looked at me and I could see the pity in his eyes. 

 I felt anger growing inside me that mild the feel of the overwhelming pain.  Who was behind this what was the reason? Was I a real person or was I just a machine-made image that thought I was a real human? Had the rebels been right of everything. Had someone altered my memories? I was able to push myself to sit. I looked at Dylan, I didn't need his pity.  This all was nonsense. I would find someone to explain this all to me but while I was angry I looked at Dylan and said:

"If I have a body it's in the basement because I'm not allowed to go there either."

Dylan looked at me in the eyes and then nodded. He was out of time I could hear our unit footsteps coming forward. He had to hurry away. I thought about moving but didn't have the strength for it.  

"You better hurry, they are almost here," I said and looked to the left of the corridor where the footsteps were echoing.

He looked at me and hesitated like I had been a real person he could have carried with him. Despite the pain and the fading anger, it brought a small smile to my face. The rebels didn't seem to be bad persons at all although it was probably just quilt since this was all their fault. Or was it my own fault for following them, guiding them, and not staying in my room as I was supposed to do?

"I'll be fine," I said, "I'm just a ghost. They will shut me down for a moment as a punishment but eventually, they will allow me to come back."

After saying it I realized it might not be true. I had helped the rebels, it was a crime they might not allow me to wake up again until the recovery time was over and I would wake up from the coma. Of course, I was also been tortured by the rebels and I might have saved Rebecca's life but were those enough to make me look innocent, who knew.

"They can shut you down? How?" Dylan asked.

It sounded like a rhetorical question, more of pondering than him really asking me. And I didn't have an answer to give him so I just shrugged my shoulders. Maybe Nicolas had some kind of remote he could turn the machine off or he send a message to someone who went physically to remove the machine. 

"We found one of the rebels and there is also the hologram girl here." a strange voice said. "They seem to be talking."

My eyes opened wide. The units were here. Dylan was still here, why had he stayed, and more importantly why I was so worried that he would get caught? Hadn't it been my goal all the time? There was definitely something wrong with my mind. I looked at Dylan, he didn't seem to be worried so much.

"Are you crazy?" I asked, "They will send you to a working camp if you get caught."

Dylan looked at me and his eyes were definitely smiling. He lifted his arms for surrender.

"Do you know, what is on the basement floor?" he asked from me.

"Nicolas! SHUT HER DOWN?" a familiar voice was yelling.

I looked away from. What was Matteo doing here? He was underage like me and not to be allowed to be here. Why was he ordering me to be shut down, not that it was a bad idea? I would really need the rest. But I wasn't in any kind of danger at least that I knew. Well the pain inside me was still very overwhelming so maybe I was in danger and maybe Matteo knew it and was just very worried about me.

"And shoot him" Matteo ordered.

The smile on Dylan's face died. There was shooting. I wanted to yell "No" and "Stop" but it was too late. They had shut me down. There was just the darkness, no thoughts, no feelings no other people. Everything was over.