Just a ghost girl

A red dream

Beep...Beep...Beep...

There was constant beeping that bothered me while I was trying to rest and forget everything that was happening in my confusing life. Sometimes it was faster sometimes slower but it was there all of the time. Other machines beeped from time to time but those weren't as annoying as this one that kept beeping all the time. Although one of the machine's beep was very ear-hurting high.

I could also hear people's voice time to time. First, all I could hear was mumbling but after a while, I started to understand some words. None of the words made sense probably because I was missing the sentence. But I started to get curious. The more I concentrated the more I could understand and eventually I started to hear parts of the sentences:

"Heartbeat... normal... all vitals..."

"...catheter fixed..."

"Brain waves... anomaly... twice..."

It sounded like medical words so probably doctors and nurses talking, which made me lost interest and I didn't try any more to understand what the people around me were saying. And it was not like they were standing there all of the time they came and went and came again saying the same stuff about heartbeats and brain waves. 

Beep...Beep...Beep...

But the beeping sound started to be really annoying. I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than unplug the machine that was making that noise. 

Beep...Beep...Beep...

What could it be? It wasn't a clock I knew that much. There was not any clock that would sound like that and annoy me this much.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

Enough was enough. I needed to rest. This was nonsense. No one could sleep in a noise like this. I would put an end to this. There was no need for me to keep suffering like this. I had rights and I wanted to rest. I really needed to rest.

I opened my eyes and everything was red.  I blinked a couple of times but the red colour didn't fade away. There were also some other problems with my eyesight since I couldn't really focus on anything. It was like I had been underwater and the water wasn't very clear. I blinked again but just couldn't see any clearer. What was wrong?

Beep...Beep...Beep...

The annoying beeping was still there. I tried to turn my head so that I could see the machine bothering me but then there was this quiet sound of something snapping and right after that I couldn't breathe. I tried to gasp some air but there was some odd tube in my throat. My right arm didn't move and the left one was too weak to do anything. 

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep...

The beeping was louder and faster and still as annoying as before. It was a little bit hilarious that the beeping still annoyed me so much considering that I was running out of air, I was choking to death. Would this be the end of me? Dying here in this oddly red under-water-looking place not really knowing what was going on.

Now that I was slowly suffocating to death and couldn't really do anything about it I started to wonder how I was here in the first place. My thoughts became more clear and I could think clearer. It was like I had woken up from a dream. But this wasn't a dream, was it? Could it be that this was my body and I had somehow woken up from the coma? Was all this happening because my body hadn't recovered enough for me to be awake?

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep...

It really annoyed me that the beeping would be the last sound I heard before dying. I wondered what had caused this. Had the doctors been right and me knowing of my mother's dementia had inflicted this to happen?

Finally, I heard multiple footsteps running closer. What was the meaning of all these machines if none of them didn't inform them if I was under a crisis? Suddenly there were at least ten doctors and nurses around me.

"What is happening?" one of the doctors asked.

"Her eyes are open," a nurse answered, "I think she is awake."

"Impossible," one other doctor said, pushed the nurse aside to take a closer look at me.

I lifted my left hand as much as I could trying to show them that I couldn't breathe. My fingers didn't want to cooperate with me but I did my best to point at my throat while looking at the doctor's eyes. He took his flashlight and pointed at my eyes. Damn that the light was bright.

"She is awake and the breathing tube is out," the doctor said.

He did something, I heard the sound of snap and was finally able to breathe. Never had I been so happy of breathing.

"We have to lift the dose of the d**g," one doctor said.

They would do what? I really wanted to speak to them that I felt fine now that I could breathe. Maybe there was no more need for me to be in a coma. I would really like to have my body back. But they weren't even looking at me and it was really hard to communicate just with your eyes and hand that hardly moved.

I couldn't see all that was happening but one of the nurses came close with a syringe and put it in a bag that was hanging near me. Almost immediately I started to feel fussy again. My thoughts escaped from me. 

Beep...Beep...Beep...

The beeping had returned back to normal.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

It was still very annoying but started to be quieter and quieter.

...

Eventually, there was only silence and no thoughts left in my head. It was so peaceful.