First Love..again

Chapter Sixteen: Could You Be Pregnant?

Ben had seen four pregnancies take place within his marriage, so he was not lacking in knowledge when it came to spotting the signs of pregnancy. Maddy had been sick now for four morning in a row, but managed to have an appetite every evening.

Could she really be pregnant? She must be? But how, he wondered? Their first week on the island, Maddy and he had a heart to heart about their families. She told him that she couldn't have more children. Her body wouldn't allow it. But if it wasn't a pregnancy, what else could it be? Maybe she was mistaken about her medical history. Ben knew that he needed to stop skirting around the situation and have an open and honest conversation with her, however nervous it made him feel. Ben thought he would never want to have more children. Heather had been on birth control now since his last twins were born. Although he had to admit that lately she had been talking about the option of wanting one more.

One more? Was his Wife crazy, he thought at the time? They had six kids already. He was not really wanting anymore. His family was perfect, just the way it was. Ben had every intention of eventually having a vascectomy, however he had put it off for so very long. He had to admit that the thought of losing his manhood was a scary thing to consider. Buy why? It wasn't like he wouldn't still have his s*x drive. He supposed it was just a guy thing.

But now...what if Madison was pregnant with his Baby? How would he feel about that, he wondered? Although he didn't necessarily want more children, the thought of he and Maddy making a baby on the island sounded like a fairytale. But it definitely wasn't a fairytale, he knew for sure. There could be great consequences to be had!

What would happen if they were to be rescued? That would expenentially complicate things. He didn't want any child of his to live in a blended household...but he would have no options to that alternative. Two different mothers posted a huge dilemma. He wasn't about having multiple wives and families. No, he was always a woman woman guy. He never even so much as cheated on anyone...that is...until the island. Could you call this cheating, he contemplated? Technically yes, he suppose...but what if it was just his new life now? Did he even still exist in his old life anylonger?

A thousand thoughts ran through his mind. How could they possiblity take care of a baby here? Island living isn't really condusive to raising a family....but if she were pregnant, there isn't much to be done aboutit. He would love the baby like any of his other children, he could be certain. He would love it especially because it would be part of Madison. It would be something concrete that they made together. Nothing could ever take that away from them!

............

Later that evening, Maddy was sitting on the shore, watching out over the water. The sky was so deep blue and the sun was just about to set on the horizon. Ben came up behind her, reached his arms around her, and straddled her from behind. With his head resting on top of hers, looking out at such beauty he knew that now was the time. He wrapped his arms around her waist, strategically holding on to her stomach, and gently rubbing his fingers up and down her abdomen.

"Maddy! I have something to ask you, and I don't want it to upset you," Ben announced.

"What is it," she asked curiously, but not breaking her stare?

Ben kissed the back of her head, and brought her in tighter. Still stroking her stomach, he gained the courage to let out the words.

"Maddy? Do you think that you could possibly be pregnant," he asked softly?

Maddy didn't answer him. She kept staring out into the waves. "I've thought of that! It does seem that my symptoms do match morning sickness, Ben! But if I am pregnant, it would be nothing short of an act of God," Maddy turned around! "You see, I couldn't have children naturally. I was told that it would be 1 in a million chance! That is why I had to do invetro for Parker and Morgan," she said intently!

"Well...what if this is an act of God? What if this is our miracle baby," he whispered softly?

Madison placed her hands on his. "Then it would truly be a miracle baby! It would be yours Ben! You know we all had lots of tests taken before we left on this journey. I wasn't pregnant before," she stated!

"I know," he said softly.

"How do you feel about that? Neither one of us wanted more kids. We talked about that often, you and I," she stated the obvious.

"Yes, but if we are in that situation, this child will be a blessing. You did say that everything happens for a reason, right," he asked?

"Yes, but you never believed that," she said reminded him.

"Well you are changing my way if thinking," he kissed her head! "I love you and every part of you, Madison. We'll figure this out... together!"

Madison sat there and continued to watch out at the ocean. She was so content with Ben. She loved him dearly. However knowing that a life could be growing inside of her made her miss Parker and Madison all the more. Would they accept a brother or a sister," she wondered? Would Avery accept this child? Oh Avery...what had she done to their family, she contemplated?

Then an even more daunting thought crossed her mind. What if they never got to meet? What if she never saw her kids again? She couldn't live with the guilt of not seeing her children graduate, get married, and have families of their own. Tears began to whell up in her eyes. I want my family, she thought. I want them all. They are all my family now! Avery, Ben, Parker, Madison, and...the new Baby, if she was indeed pregnant, they were all she craved! However she knew that she couldn't have them all. There just wasn't a way to make that work logically.

Could she really truly be pregnant, she wondered again? If she was, would she be able to properly care for a baby on an island? She wouldn't have the proper nutrition that would be needed. She wouldn't have the proper toiletries to take care of a baby. She wouldn't have the proper shelter to take care of a baby. There were so many reasons why this Baby shouldn't be born on this island. However she knew that it was not up to her. It wasn't up to Ben either. Now it was all in the hands of God.

............

That night, both Ben and Madison tossed and turned quite a bit. The uncertainty of this whole ordeal definitely took a toll out on them both. Sleep was paying the price.

"Maddie, I didn't tell you this earlier because you had been sick, but I saw a boat a few days ago" Ben started a conversation.

Madison rolled over and looked at him in surprise! "What? Why didn't you tell me," she explained?

"Because you were sick and I didn't want you to stress over it! Plus it was so far away that they could have never seen us. When I was on the other side of the island, I noticed that at low tide it got quite shallow out there on those rocks, and we could probably make our way over towards the next island if we wanted to. That would be closer to the direction that the boat had passed. There may also be more resources on that island, as it did look bigger than ours," Ben noted.

"Okay," she now calmed down a little bit. "If you think it's a good idea to head in that direction, then I am on board too," she added. Then she rolled back over and tried to go to sleep again, trying to put the thought of it all out of her mind. She didn't need anymore stress that night, she knew.

Ben knew that heading that direction was the best hope of rescue. So tomorrow...he would plan to move his "family" to the next island.