In between love and hate

September, 06 Lily My eyes burn as the morning sun shines throw my window. Setting up and looking around the room once filled with my belongings. It seems so big now the four empty walls seemed to mock me as I groaned and rolled out of bed. The thought of today ran throw my head, we’re moving and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. “Let’s get a move on!” My mother yells from the hallway. She’s been planing this move for over a year. New house, new school , new everything. It seemed to me it was a easy way to run from her past, my father left last year and my moms never fully recovered from it. Moving is her way of a new start. My feet hit the cold floor as I force myself out of bed, the clothes I laid out still setting in the counter in the bathroom waiting for me to change into them. Pulling the Black Sabbath band shirt over my head and shoving my legs into the ripped skinny jeans. I’m ready, the walk from my room to the kitchen is empty I look at the wall image all the pictures of my family that use to hang or the memories of running down the hall as my father chased me. Pulled from thought by the sound of my mom yelling from the back door. “ Let’s go Lily, we have a 5 hour drive to Westwood.” “Coming!” I yelled before running throw the rest of the house to the back doo, my mother waiting for me holding her phone. I stepped past her and outside. The last few days of summer still hanging in the air. Fall threatening to come. Walking to the car I noticed the sadness in the breeze. The car ride was quite, mainly because I had music blaring in my headphones, to avoid another lecture on how our new life starts now. My mother can sometimes be over dramatic at times. She was happy even if it meant me not being happy. About 4 hours later we stopped at a little truck stop. “What do you want to drink and eat?” My mother asked pulling my head phone out. “Just a water and some chips is fine.” Replying, I slid my earphone back in my ear. A few minutes later we were back on the road, I feel asleep at some point because the next thing I knew I was walking up to mom poking me saying “ we’re here honey.” I rubbed my eyes and yawned. The truck with all our belongings was sitting in front of the house and the movers were unpacking it into the house. I grabbed my bag from the backseat and headed into the house that would be my new home, my bed was already set up when I opened my bedroom door along with a few boxes that had been set on the floor. Dropping my bag on the floor next to my bed, nothing felt normal anymore. 15 minutes later the movers were leaving all my belongings stacked in boxes in my room as I unpacked things slowly setting what I could up before getting tired, slumping down on the edge of my bed my head was pounding. “Hey honey I’m headed to pick up dinner, do you wanna come with?” Mom asked. She was hoping for a yes I wanna go with but I just shock my head. “ no I’m ganna stay and unpack what I can before it gets too late.” I smiled at her. She knew I was upset I had faught with her about moving for over two months, by the time I excepted it she had already rented the house. She nodded and walked away leaving me with a pile of boxes and a empty doorway. After finishing unpacking and setting my room up I went to the dinning room, my mom had just set the food on the counter when I walked in. The bag said best Chinese in town in back bold lettering, my stomach aches from not eating I grabbed my box of food and sat at the table I ate and then realized it was 12:30 at night, I kissed mom on the cheek before heading to my room. Callapsing on my bed, my phone dings Anna: Hey did you make it there ok? Lily: Yeah Anna: ok, are you ok? I know you didn’t want to move. Lily: I’m fine just tired, it’s ok mom seems happier now that we’re here. But I’m headed to bed. Anna: goodnight I’ll message you in the morning. Anna had been my best friend forever we grew up together, when I told her I was moving she cried for hours sitting in my room on the floor. I payed back on my pillow and slowly drifted off the sleep.