The Switch Up

24

February 22, 2017 (5 Weeks)

"Are you okay?" Harry asks me while we drive to Harry's best friends house. Tonight I was meeting Harry's good friend and although I was nervous it didn't compare to the nervousness I was feeling about my pregnancy.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" I ask speculating why he would ask me that. Was I not acting normal enough? Was I acting a certain way for him to assume I wasn't okay?

"You've just been acting different lately, I just want to make sure everything is okay," Harry tells me and I internalize my actions and what I have said. I pull conversations I had had with Harry at work and over text message but can't come up with a specific time I was acting what he called differently.

"Different how?" I ask him sitting up in my seat wanting to know what he deemed as different in my attitude. If I knew then I could fix it and adjust from there.

"I don't know, usually you would be super nervous about meeting my best friend but instead you are just quiet and not saying much. You are just acting a little different..." Harry explains and he is right. Normally I would be telling Harry that I was nervous and would be afraid that whoever I am meeting wouldn't like me but I hadn't brought that up once. It was probably due to the other things that were circulating my mind currently.

"I'm sorry... I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now." I say and begin to realize that I was being more quiet than normal. I wasn't the quiet type and Harry knew this, I guess I was just internalizing everything. I didn't usually do this but with this situation I was keeping to myself, I guess I had adopted the habit.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" He asks and I want to say yes. God did I want to just come out and tell him!

"Harry I've been acting differently because I am 5 weeks pregnant!" I breathe out heavily and stare over at Harry who is caught off guard by what I had just said.

"What?" He looks over at me while racing down the freeway.

"I'm pregnant Harry and I don't know if the baby is yours! Please forgive me it's not what you would expect!" I dramatically drop a tear that runs down my face because I am emotional.

"Madeline I can't believe you would do this! I thought you loved me!"

"How would you know that? You can't read my mind, I haven't told you that yet!" I slap a hand over my mouth and find my eyes more wide at this revelation.

"Yes, you have! Your pregnancy hormones are making you forget things!" Harry says as I grab him by the collar and smash my lips against his not caring that he was supposed to be driving.

"Madeline?" I'm snapped out of my imagination and turn my attention back to Harry who has a furrowed brow and unsure expression.

"Yeah?" I had forgotten what we were talking about in the first place and feel a little bad when I see him look a little worried.

"Do you want to talk about anything? Maybe get some things off your mind?" Harry puts the car in park as we sit in his friend's driveway. My mind and soul are screaming yes but the logical part of me is holding me down and telling me no.

"Umm..." I think about this option for a few seconds and decline it. I was about to meet his best friend and I couldn't have this hanging over his head right now. "No, I'm fine. I promise everything is fine."

We walk up to the contemporary modeled house and stand on the doormat while Harry rings the bell. I constantly look down and fiddle with the hem of my dress, something I did when I was nervous or had something that bothered me.

I hear footsteps behind the door and prepare myself to act like I usually did. I wanted to erase any doubts in Harry's mind about there being something wrong with me.

Looking up my jaw visibly drops when I see who is standing in the doorway. I gulp hard and feel my hand's sweat from the revelation, of course, this would happen! Everyone knows everyone!

"Harry!" The man with a sleek haircut and scruff on his face greets Harry with a pearly white smile. His eyes crinkle at the ends as he goes in to hug Harry.

"Liam, this is Madeline!" Harry introduces even though we already know each other. Not too long ago I was in his office with Zayn drawing up papers for a divorce.

"It's nice to meet you, Madeline! Harry has been telling me all about you!" Liam says as he goes in for a hug. When he pulls away I can see his expression that read "what the hell is going on here".

"Harry does love to talk!" I indulge and go on to pretend like I didn't have the slightest clue as to who Liam was. I really hoped that Liam wouldn't say anything about Zayn and the divorce. Although now that I think about it, that was all under attorney-client privilege.

"That he does! Now, come on in let's get this party started!" Liam coaxed us into his Ironman looking house.

+

"So Madeline how are you feeling?" Liam asks me as we all sit around on his black leather couches. My cheeks are beginning to blush at his question. I was hoping Harry didn't catch on to this because it would defiantly look suspicious.

"I'm feeling a little better, how are you feeling?" I am so stupid, sometimes I can't even believe my own stupidity. I should just be quiet is what I should do.

"Wait, how did you know Madeline wasn't feeling well?" Harry chimes in and I really hope that Liam has a good answer for Harry's question.

"You told me, remember?" Liam pulls out some wine glasses and looks over at Harry with confidence. Liam was smooth!

"I probably did she's been so sick these past few weeks but her doctor says she's fine and she's perfectly healthy," I told Harry this because I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't completely lying either since I was healthy. The vomit had nothing to do with my health, it was due to my morning sickness. I don't really know why they call it morning sickness though since I come down with the sickness at all parts of my day. One smell or one offsetting look of food would produce a vomiting spell.

"Maybe you should go see a different doctor!" Liam says and we all laugh. Well, I fake laugh since I know the truth behind all of this. "Red or white?" Liam asks as they settle down there laughing.

"White," Harry answers seeing Liam pour some white wine into his glass.

"Madeline, what about you? Red or white?" Liam looks up at me and I remember I must decline either choice. I would be asking for water in place of the wine.

"Actually water would be fine," I reply hoping that Harry isn't connecting the dots here. However, I don't think he was paying much attention.

"Are you sure?" Liam offers one last time and I assure him that water is good enough for me. He fills my glass with bottled water and hands it to me.

"That's not like you, you love wine!" Harry notices and again I inwardly groan to myself. I didn't want to have to explain my choices but it looks like that was the way it was going.

"I know but I didn't want to get all drunk and ghetto on you. I don't want to scare Liam away!" I get a few laughs from both Harry and Liam while I take a sip of my water. Man do I want a glass of wine right now. In my circumstance, a glass of wine is much needed but I refrain knowing that alcohol wasn't allowed when pregnant.

I gradually take sips of my water and chat about Harry's and Liam's relationship. I learned about how they met when Harry moved to the states and how they were close ever since. I liked getting into Harry's past and learning about how he used to be, he had such an interesting life compared to mine. Mine was more or less a hot mess.

"Would you excuse me I need to use the restroom." I stand up abruptly when I feel my stomach begin to twist inside itself.

"Of course, the bathroom is just right there," Liam points to a closed white door just across from the garage. I nod and hurry over since I feel the heat rising in my face. I was due to vomit any second now.

I shut the door and am surrounded by a long row of mirrors. The sink is surrounded by white marble that makes everything look extremely expensive. I bend down by the toilet and release myself but this time try to be as quiet as possible. I didn't want Harry to hear and come over to worry about me.

The last thing I wanted was for Harry to worry about more than he already was. He was going to catch on sooner or later when he sees that I am not getting any better when it comes to my "stomach flu". I didn't know how long morning sickness lasted but Harry was bound to catch on soon if this continued.

I flush the toilet and begin to wash my hands. The warm water runs over my hands while I stare at myself in the mirror. I wipe away a stray tear the vomit had provoked and breathe in deep, it was weird. I saw myself as someone completely different in my own eyes and I didn't really know why. I hadn't changed much besides the fact that I made a few mistakes concerning my s*x life. That is not to say that I regret s*x with Harry but... there were consequences to unprotected s*x. On the other hand, I did regret my relations with Zayn, I would do anything to take that back.

I tuck some of my curled brown hair behind my ear and put on a fake smile. I had to pretend I was okay even if this secret was eating me from the inside out.

N. I'm going to try and do another update later tonight! I was in the salon all day and your girl has pink hair now! Check me out on twitter and insta if you want to see it;)