The Switch Up

25

February 25, 2017

"Madeline, I know I keep asking you this but I can't help it. You tell me you are okay but your body language is telling me a different story. Did I do something? Say something?" Harry's eyes are glowing in the dim lit room. We both sat on his couch and the majority of the evening I had been a little more quiet than usual. The only reason for this was because I didn't want to tell him about what was going on in my mind. I didn't want the secret to accidentally slip.

I heave in a breath and know that it was time to spill the beans on what I know. I was feeling so heavy right now and it was all because I was carrying around the weight of this secret. I was still trying to come to terms with it myself but I knew stewing over it and keeping it to myself wasn't helping anyone including myself.

The only person who knew about anything was Talia and even though I got a few things off my chest she harped on me about telling Harry. She told me that I would feel better if I could talk to him about all this and I knew she was right I was just afraid.

"No, it's nothing you've done I just have a lot going on right now." I start building up my courage to tell him the more questions he asked.

"Like what? Are you having second thoughts about us?" His eyes are masked over with worry and it hurts me the way he is looking at me. I didn't want him to feel this way, I never meant for him to think this way.

"No, Harry I love you. I love you more than anything else, well except for Panda Express because their orange chicken gets me every time but that's beside the point." I ramble and kick myself for doing so. I always did this when I got nervous, I had done it ever since I was little. "I don't want you to think that I don't love you or that I don't feel the same way about you anymore because it's not true."

"I love you too Madeline and that's why I am so worried about you. I can't help but think there is something going on that I don't know about but I don't know how to help unless you tell me what is going on." The tv is playing a perfect song to break the news to Harry and it almost feels like a movie. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this right now with such an important moment but I can't help but point it out.

"I've wanted to tell you but I am just so afraid, just thinking about telling you is terrifying me! I know it shouldn't but I can't help it Harry I am so scared!" I stress to him running my fingernails through my messy ponytail that is coming undone. "Holy shit..."

"Madeline you know you can tell me anything, nothing you could tell me would make me love you any less. I love you, Madeline! You can trust me." I avert my eyes down to my oversized striped tee shirt and think about what is growing inside me every second of every day. My palms are sweaty and I swallow the fear that is caught in my throat.

"Do you remember New Years eve night?" I ask bringing up where everything originated from. I wasn't going to tell him about Zayn just yet, I was going to keep that to myself until I felt like it was necessary.

"Yeah," He answers as I see the intrigue in his green eyes.

"Well..." I suck in a breath and blow it out shakily scared out of my mind to be telling him this. I was also thinking the pregnancy hormones were playing a large part of this as well. I normally wouldn't act like this and wasn't a super emotional person but with all my body changes I am sure my hormones are causing this. "Last week I was 4 weeks late Harry..."

"What?" He pushes his hair away from his face and furrows his brows as if he wasn't completely understanding what I was saying. So I try again.

"You know how I told you that I was going to the doctors for a wellness checkup last week?" I ask him backtracking a little to help him understand what I was trying to say.

"Yeah," He replies and I am hoping he doesn't freak out like I had. It would be really nice if he didn't freak out since I already was daily.

"I lied to you, I went in for a pregnancy test and it came back positive." I break to him flinching from having to tell him all of this. I look at him with timid eyes and see he is quiet and looks down for a few minutes. I know it is a lot to take in and I allow him the time he needs to process it. "I'm sorry I lied to you I just didn't believe it and even after it was confirmed I wanted to keep denying it."

"So that's why you have been so sick... and why you said you wanted water instead of wine at Liam's." Harry put together the puzzle pieces himself and I nod to confirm what he was saying. I couldn't quite read what he was thinking or feeling as he sat in thought and blew out a breath.

"Harry?" I lean down to try and see his expression but it is unreadable to me. I can't tell what he is thinking but I can only imagine he is running over what I just told him in his own mind. "What are you thinking about?"

"This is all just a lot to take in," Harry responds and looks back at me with those brilliant green eyes I had grown so accustomed to. He was right, this was all so much to take in that I still didn't believe it was happening. "But I want to do this."

"What?" I straighten my posture and see a little smile tug at the corner of his lips.

"Is it unorthodox the way this is all happening? Yes, but I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else. I want to be there every step of the way." Harry finally explains rubbing his thumb over my cheek. I close my eyes and feel the waterworks switch on once again, my heart flutters in my chest.

"Oh my god you have no idea how good that felt. I have been worried sick about telling you because I was afraid of how you would react. I was afraid this would ruin our relationship." I tell him honestly opening up my glassy eyes to see his little grin spread across his face.

"Madeline if anything I love you even more because of this! You are carrying a little part of me inside you." He said and I giggle letting a few of my tears drop. I was so relieved. Bricks had been lifted off my shoulders and I could finally breathe again.

Now the only secret I had was Zayn and my recent history with him. I should also tell Zayn about the pregnancy as well since he could potentially be the father. I was praying every day that this wasn't the case! I didn't want any more ties to Zayn then I already had in the first place. I was severing ties with him but I was only hoping that he wouldn't try to retie them.

+

"Zayn this is important!" I stammer at Zayn being difficult like always like I have said and like I will always say he is a child.

"Babyface, it is 12:30 in the morning, I'm not meeting you anywhere, anything you can tell me in person you can tell me on the phone." Zayn's voice is raspy from being asleep but I didn't care that I woke him. I needed to get this all off my chest. I roll my eyes at his response and convince him to FaceTime me after 5 minutes of arguing with him.

"Alright, what is it? What is so important you must tell me right now at this very second?" He presses his lips into a straight line and rubs his eyes. His hair is a little messy and in the works of becoming bed head.

"I'm pregnant," I state not getting the least bit emotional about it.

"Is this a prank because if it is Babyface you are going to have to try a lot harder." He smirks thinking I'm kidding, why do people think I'm joking all the time? Even Talia thought I was playing around with her!

"This isn't a joke and I'm not pulling a prank on you, I really am pregnant," I say once again not seeing a change in Zayn's expression.

"Am I on punk'ed? Ashton Kutcher where you at? You can come out now, you got me!" Zayn calls and I muffle the speaker on my phone since Zayn was being louder than he needed to be.

Everyone was sleeping in my house and I wanted it to stay that way.

"Zayn could you just not?" I sighed out always tired of his antics. It was late and I was going to lose it with him if he didn't stop.

"Wait... you aren't kidding Babyface," Zayn's jaw dropped open when he saw how serious I was being. This wasn't some prank I was trying to pull over on him. "How!?"

"What do you mean how? Did you not take health in 6th grade?" I fire at him as he recoils back into thought. I have rendered him speechless and he sits with his jaw slack.

"I just..." he can't seem to get anything out edgewise and I sigh and decide to bring up Harry. He must have known to some degree that I was with someone else.

"You know what, don't worry about it too much because it's probably not yours anyway." I shrug off with ease seeing a change in expression from Zayn. He scratches the back of his neck and sits up a little straighter.

"What do you mean? You aren't with somebody else are you?"

"Not that it is any of your business but yes I am and we are very happy," I conclude seeing him lean his head back and begin to cackle at me. "What? Stop laughing!"

"You don't know who the daddy is, do you?! Oh, this is rich Madeline!" Zayn drops his phone on his bed causing the screen to face the ceiling. All I hear is his uninterrupted laughs that he can hardly contain.

"Would you stop being so extra! It's not even that funny!" I shot at Zayn when he comes back into the camera. I roll my eyes when he snickers at my words.

"Babyface couldn't keep her legs closed could she?"

"I wouldn't have even touched your limp d**k if you didn't blackmail me!" I tell him to see him in return begin to laugh again which was infuriating me.

"Well, it looks like we will be playing house for the next little bit." I am puzzled by his response and ask him what he means by playing house. "That baby could just as well be mine and I don't want our baby to grow up in a broken home..."

"No! No! That isn't fair, I did want you wanted! You can't do that!" I had a mini explosion while keeping my voice low. I couldn't stay married to Zayn, I had done what he wanted, he couldn't go back on that.

"I have the papers Babyface... and I haven't signed them yet. Tell you what, if the baby isn't mine I will sign the papers and you and your boy toy can live happily ever after." I clench my fists and lock my jaw as he speaks. I can't even begin to explain my anger towards him. I wanted to drive down there and rip his d**k off his body.

" Zayn if you don't sign those papers-"

"Stress isn't good the baby, I suggest we take a little time out and I will talk to you tomorrow okay? Goodnight wifey sweet dreams!" He cuts me off and ends the FaceTime before I can even say anything else. I groan out angrily and pace around my room with my fingers combed through my hair. He could do this! I did what he wanted and now he goes and does this on the off chance that he could be the baby's father?

I sat on the edge of my bed and think about what was going to happen now. That conversation didn't go as I had planned and now my problems were piling up. There was a large stack of issues that I needed to sort out and I was completely overwhelmed.