truth after waking up
Rayleigh
I suddenly wake up some of the voices that held me out from his long-time sleep and I realized I was in a hospital bed from the same time
WHERE I AM?!
I can't remember a bit for now since it's hazy and I felt dizzy, I can't get up for a while
But I know I was in the bed, lay in here, as I remember myself alone, same room quite a bit and peace once more I felt I was in my state of dying but no I am not dying today but to be awake a new life that I have.
Who knows what happen and I did realize that why am I here and why did I reborn into this person
And I know this old owner was dead along with my own body, I sigh
I was thinking why?
This poor soul. Why do you want to die?
What is the reason, son? (Talking to the air and no response)
Here am I wake up to this place, the future I mean, 10years after time in this boy without memory at all about this person that I cope in, I was aware too well but I just don't want to sink it to me since I don't to be scared and terrified not yet
I just thinking about what to do so I lay there for a while, I don't need to be panic, I need to think
Breath in
Breath out
It's ache again in my head like it's almost cracked my skull
It's hurt
But I need to get up and turn to look aside and see my face since there was a mirror in my side.
The heck?!
Who this being be?
who is this kid?
A girl?
I looked at myself and touch my chest at it seem flat and I noticed that thing down there.
I frown a lady like a boy
So I did reborn to someone else in this state
When I stay here my feeling and pain of memories come back.
My memories from the past myself lay in the bed and hopeless
The feeling of loneliness and painful realization that no one wouldn't go to visit you from his last life under his death
My home and my family was not mine anymore
The family that I grew up with was not with me anymore and I can't call mine since I give up them before my death
Since my death limited for me to do the right thing, and it's too late to regret it since that was the life I choose
(no, fate chose this for me bar and death like this)
Even I ended like that alone but still, I have something I did before I died to save someone life since this young one who been sick since he was a baby and now I guess he was alive and healthy, and while me, I did die but I was given a second chance to be alive and do a right thing and live a peaceful life he wishes before he dead
The death was not a scary thing to accept, only to have regrets about this without resolving on it, you can't fix it
Memories of the regrets I have been still in there that been bothered me, the voices of the people who begged to their lives and voices while cursing me to death,
But here I am now alive and still breathing that's why I felt blessed and also felt disgusted my self since I think I don't deserve this,
I looked at this boy, this beautiful young man with green eyes starting back
'I don't know why you end like this, but I assured you you'll live as best as you wanted to'
I just sigh
I honestly don't know what to do, and I just stare at the open window, thinking what this world became this time since I remember it's been 10 years since I did
I was just 35 years old, with diagnoses, was cancers
I don't know what to do?
I felt this feeling of unsure since I was always sure what I would do, every decision always have an answer but now I didn't know
who knows what my life will be like.
While I was thinking deeply into it, suddenly the door opened and saw this two old couple with teary eyes
(I think this boy's grandparents).
"Oh, my Lil ash. you're awake," Grandma said in her teary eyes when they saw me, while me staring at me since I didn't know them so
I don't know how to react.
It seem these two felt my discomfort so they held to themself and I see their sadness in their faces so I felt guilty to hurt them through my action, It was new to me as Rayleigh who been never had a family since
I just live my own and make my name when I was still alive.
As Rayleigh, It's new to me, and I tried to reach out to them and I did
"I am sorry, Grandma," I say in a timid tone
(I shocked myself since I did not speak like this).
The two look at me with shock and soften.
"It's okay, Ash we don't blame you, your grandma and I were glad that you are safe," my Grandpa said.
Then the doctor came in and speak with them then to me
so He just nod and said
"I see, he has amnesia, since its a serious one, its whole memory of his, still he didn't gain to remember, so it's hard to get it back, " He said.
"Can He still remember Doc?" asked Grandpa
"In this case, it depends on the patient to gain their memories but to me, it's hard to gain the memories back after that accident, He bangs His head pretty good," the doctor said, slowly " I am sorry sir ma'am."
The two elders didn't believe and they became emotional, that's why theme didn't bear to see them like this since my guilt became increased since I know I am not their grandson, I never remember them at all (maybe not now) The doctor said I stay here for a bit for examining in 3 days after that I can discharge.
"It's okay, son if you have No memory about us, the important was you awake and alive," my grandma said, hugging me and my Grandpa just tap my shoulder as an agreement
I just let them hug me
I just sigh
I don't know what to do, at least I will be their grandson for a while (To ease my guilt that has been eaten me slowly day by day).
After 3days after I was discharged and go home, this boy home and live them
While living as this guy, I learned about this owner,
His name Ash 16 years old, and junior high school student, and scholar then enroll in All boys Elite school, this boy is smart but I can survive this since, in reality, it must be your guts to survive learned how to adopt since I don't have a chance to go to school
My life was started in trained to kill and exposed violation when I was 5 years old, and I became one of the members of that group, being an assassin at the age of 10years old and became a leader of that organization when I was just 20 years old it's only a temporary one, they tried my leadership of taking this responsibility it became heavier and tensed when
it's further
it's a long time since because I was in my 30s to be exact
I was 32 years old and alone as that
Not alone since I have worked two jobs, the decent and the other one was (dirty work I mean illegal as that).
To live this kind of life was difficult to maintain since when I was young I need force and I need to kill someone. At the young age of 10years, I have been to join one of the biggest n of organizations as an assassin, adopted by the former boss of this family
(I called a family since this is what I think)
I been trained and been teach how cruel life I been in the underground, when I was 20yr-old I been chosen as a temporary boss of the family to test my leadership as a leader, until two years I am been officially crown as a next leader since the boss and I look up were going to die in the disease, that was the started for me to know the death, a painful death cause of natural nature, after 5 years being the leader of the family, I been chosen to be a head of the underground, I been select by all the leaders who been staying in the underground and have a conference to talk about some of b****y wars between the other organizations that need to be controlled, the leaders agree since they have been difficult time to handle this since they most of them were too high pride, so they decide to have a head of them whom can settle them and take them in the court to have settle the unwanted tension the two party so they select me as a head and again, I am the one who created the rules that lead this underground into stable state, since no one were lightly disagree to broke the law, and rules. Besides this, I am known as a brutal and dangerous one in that place (that underworld) not literally under the world(so I have too many enemies who wanted to kill me and also, It's just the place where the illegal will be held to be done, selling illegal goods and act illegally like fighting/killing and others).
But here I am living with these two elders in this wooden house, and l live in their wide whole farm
I just lost for a bit when I got there, too many animals to see, the cows, the chickens with their chicks and the roosters, some goats and horses, some pigs
this farm is big and some of the people who work on this task welcome us, smile at us.
I just wave back and go back to the house, since our house is simple And made of woods, and glass so It seems refreshing to see, too many windows with glass and the floor made of woods seem good to step in, the house is simple and have too many frames hanging.
So many pictures of us, Grandpa and Grandma and also me (This young boy) since He was a baby until He grow up.
They look happy and I felt sad since this boy I was dead with my body (I know We switch not reborn and whatsoever
This boy wish is to die since He have no sense of resistance and wanted to live his life tall, I didn't sure the reason why He did it since I still didn't have this boy's memories, I just guess something wrong about this boy, something happens that lead by him from death, maybe there is, I need to find out.