The Den: Keeping Secrets

I hate taking the train, especially during the lunch rush. I always go in early and stay late so I never really deal with too many passengers. Today, however, I have an appointment with the lawyer I found from one of those bus bench ads. I'm going to be cutting it close anyhow and I really don't want to endure a scolding I'll get from my boss if I'm late. As soon as the doors open at the stop I rush out upon the platform. I'm glad I wore flats today. Running up the stairs in heels would have been asking for a broken leg. I rush through the law office door with a minute to spare. Thankfully I only had to sit for a few minutes before I am escorted down the hall to an office. As soon as I enter the room a small robust man stands from behind a desk with stacks of files reminding me of the cityscape. A small opening across from two chairs on this side made me think of a drive up window. Goodness, I'm starving. Glad I've had 6 years of being a personal assistant to one of the biggest acquisition firms in the world to practice my business face because this guy is wearing the WORST toupee I have ever seen. "Rob Goodson," he said his hand outstretched in greeting. I grasped his hand and with the firm handshake my grandfather taught me and replied, "Kara Layne. Thank you so much for meeting with me so quickly. I'm sure you understand my urgency with such a short timetable " as I sat down. He nodded and with his tone touched by sincerity said "I completely understan. My team has looked over everything you sent us as well as made inquiries in to any other outstanding debt there may be. We discovered that a second mortgage was taken out on the house about 5 months ago." The knot that formed in my throat and the sting of despair that instantly stabbed me in the stomach kept me from speaking more for a moment. "Miss Layne, are you okay?" After a moment I regained my composure and concentrated on Mr. Goodson. "So what is the total amount owed?" After he shuffled through some papers he pulled one out scanning it. "Let's see here. Looks to be $368,420.34 in total." he set the paper down and preceeded to say more but I heard nothing. I saw his lips moving but the only sound I could hear was the voice in my head freaking out. "I..I...I don't have that kind of money. What do I do? I can not loose my home! It's the only thing that I have left. My grandfather bought that house for my grandmother and raised not only my mother but myself in it. No! I can't loose it!" The words tumbled so fast from my mouth I had no clue if they came out understandable. My heart was beating so loud that it made my chest hurt. "I have a friend who happens to work in the I.R.S. office and he was able to grant you an extended extension. He was able to get you 6 months to come up with the back taxes." he said lacing his fingers together on top of his desk. He waited a moment for me to catch my breath. "Well, thank you. Thank you for getting me that time. So I have 6 months to pay the tax debt. What about the 2nd mortgage?" "The bank has agreed to stop any type of action for the same amount of time. Your grandfather's reputation has alloted you some leeway. You have someone looking out for you Miss Layne" he said. "It doesn't feel like it right now," I replied with my patented snarky tone. I heard it as soon as it left my lips and instantly apologized. "I'm so sorry. I'm freaking out a bit here Mr. Goodson. I appreciate all of your help. I will be in contact soon." He stood as I did and rounded his desk. He opened the door allowing me to exit. I smiled and gave a small wave to the receptionist as I left. She was a short, pudgy gray haired woman who reminded me of Grandma. As soon as my feet hit sidewalk I started running. With a glance at my watch I realized I only had 3 minutes to run 10 blocks to catch my train. I knew I wouldn't make it back to the office by two like I had expected. I slowed to a walk, grabbed my phone from my bag and called in to the office. "McKenzie Group, how may I help you today?" I loved that voice and the lady attached to it. Nina was the receptionist at the firm and my best friend. "Neeners, it's me. I'm going to be late getting back." "Oh girl, you've got to get back here quick! He came back from lunch on his phone and he was NOT happy. He yelled in his office for about 15 minutes and right before you called I swear I heard his phone hit the wall." she told me in a hushed tone. "I'll back in thirty minutes." I told her and disconnected as I walked down the stairs to the subway. I boarded my train and chewed on my lip as I silently freaked out a bit more about the meeting with Mr. Goodson. I ran back to work as fast as I could. I didn't consider myself a big woman. I just had cruves. I was blessed/cursed with a large chest and I guess my hips came from my fathers side of the family. He died before I was born. My mother and he were high school sweethearts. Dad grew up in the foster system and didn't have any family. When he started dating mom, Grandma and Grandpa sort of became his parents too. They married a few days after they graduated high school with me already on the way. Three weeks before I was born dad was killed in an accident. He had gotten a call late in the night from a friend asking for a ride. His buddy was really drunk and dad felt obligated to help after the time they spent in the last foster home they lived in. The bullshit irony of it all was that they were hit head on by a drunk driver. My dad being a responsible guy, picking up his drunk friend and it got him killed by someone who couldn't be responsible enough to make one damn phone call. This is the reason I never drink. Ever. I just couldn't. It helped a lot in high school. Everyone nicknamed me Kareful Kara and I always picked someone up if they called. I didn't mind. All I did was go to school, help with my grandparents and dance. I loved to dance. I was a "natural" according to all my instructors. After years of hard work it paid off when I got a full scholarship to NYU. Life was bliss. Storybook like. All I had ever dreamed of was coming true. That is till Grandpa fell ill. He was in stage four pancreatic cancer. I left school immediately to help mom and Grandma take care of him. Mom worked full-time to keep the house going and Grandma just wasn't as spry as she used to be. She had become more and more forgetful at times over the last year and I just couldn't let someone else care for them. Grandpa was a tough old guy. They told us when he was diagnosed that he maybe had 6 months to live. That was with treatment. He fooled them though. At least that's what he would say. He lived almost a full year after that first appointment. Grandma kept slipping away from us after that point. She got to the point that neither mom or I could take care of her. When the neighbor found her walking down the middle of the street late at night mom and I made the decision we needed help. We found her a place close to home that could attend to her needs better. I lucked out with Nina knowing of a great job she could hook me up with. The steamy hunk of man candy that is her boss, her words, had just fired another assistant. She knew I had moxie and a tough skin so thought I should try my hand at the position. That was just over six years ago. Grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep three years later. It was really hard on mom. For me too but for mom she had lost so many important people to her. I tried to comfort her as often as I could but her light never really shined the way it used to. Two months ago I got the absolute worst call anyone could ever get. Mom had collapsed at work and they were rushing her to the emergency room. While she was sedated the doctor pulled me aside. Dr. Knick was a friend of sorts after Grandpas illness. At first I was confused as to why he was even there. He's an oncologist. Mom had been hiding from me that she had cancer. It had started in her breast but spread to her lymph nodes before they caught it. She had been lying to me for months. First a wave of anger followed by confusion enveloped me. I called in to work for a week and slept in a chair holding her had with my head on the bed next to her. I awoke to someone gently brushing the hair from my forehead. I smiled remembering that's how she could put me to sleep and wake me up the same way when I was a kid. "Hey kiddo," she said with a raspy voice. I shot up grabbing her a cup to sip some water from the straw. She took a few sips then leaned back with a slight groan. "Do you need me to get the nurse?" "No, honey, no. Just sit here with me a bit." I sat back down scooting as close to her as I could. She told me how proud of me she was and how thankful she was to have such a wonderful daughter. She told me she had known she was sick but that the doctor told her there was nothing to be done. She had known for a few months but didn't want to break my heart by watching her die. She wanted to make the best of the time she had left. I cried. A lot. She gently rubbed my back as I now lay next to her in the hospital bed. I needed to squeeze her. I wanted to fill my nose with her scent so that I could never forget it. I wanted to soak up as much of her as I could. She was the only family I had left in this world. Mom slipped in and out over the next few days. When she awoke for the last time she told me how much she loved me and that I shouldn't cry forever. She wanted me to live and be happy but I did't think I ever could be again. I'm still not there but things are much better. Her voice was broken when she said, " go to MoMo. I love you sunshine." Her eyes fell shut and she took her last couple breaths. I was a zombie all through the funeral and for a week afterwards. Thank God for Nina. She was there to speak for me. To feed me. To take care of me through it all. She's been my best friend since kindergarten and we'd do anything for one another. I couldn't afford to take any more time off from work. I had to go back. Just as I started to feel like I was going to make it was when I got a letter saying taxes were owed and they were going to auction off my house. The only thing I had left of them was going to be ripped away from me. It wasn't much but it was mine. Mr. Goodson shocked me with the news of the extra debt. I really didn't know how I was going to pull this feat off. I entered the grand lobby of McKenzie Group and made my way to the elevator. There were other businesses on the lower floors but the top 3 were ours. I exited the elevator and covered the short distance to the reception desk. Nina looked up at me with a look that can only be describe as oh s**t, good luck! She was on the phone so she mouthed to me, he wants to see you. As if the dreadful feeling in my stomach couldn't get worse. I was wrong. I rushed to my workspace and dropped my bag in the bottom drawer of my desk. I straightened my clothes, smoothed the flyaway hairs back in to place and grabbed my ipad. I made my way down the short hall to his office. I put my ear to the door to see if he was on a call. Nothing but silence. I took a deep breath, knocked softly and entered the office. "You're late."