Dawn of Love

03

The next days and weeks were a weird experience.

River would continue to still be the silent type, but the freakiest thing was, I would feel him staring at me senseless. His burning gaze tore through my body like an x-ray - at the hang out place, in class, at the cafeteria, library, at P. E., everywhere - at any given opportunity!

He would also speak to me time to time about school work or some random things and I would always, definitely get tongue tied and air headed. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he is speaking... TO ME.

Duh, of course, I'm beyond the moon that River finally is noticing my existence. But it still feels so weird. I'm so used to being invisible to him that I don't know what to do. I used to be the one staring at him like there's no tomorrow. Now, I couldn't even take a peek at him because the moment I turn my head to look, he'd already done the same.

Ugh. And its been dayssss since the last time I got to stare at his beautiful face. I don't know if i'd laugh or cry. What's gotten into, River, anyway? Why's he acting so weird?

I tried to wrack my brain thinking what might have happened to cause this drastic change from him. But nothing. Nothing came to mind. School, graduation, summer, same old hang outs at Austyn's, enrollment, then this. I couldn't pin point anything out of the ordinary. In fact, the last time we saw each other was a week before enrollment and he was the still same ice cold River.

What could've happened between then and now?

I shook my head and threw the thoughts away. I know no matter how hard I think about it, I'll never know why unless I ask him which I know the shy girl in me, will never allow to happen in a million years.

On the other hand, Austyn's heightened vigilance with any interaction between River and I, wasn't helping my confused state at all. He was like a clingy 24/7 chaperone at school.

He'd be with me anywhere and anytime River was close by. I was just thankful that he didn't insist on going with me to the locker room or restroom.

Everything just felt so bizarre and awkward. However, slowly, I was able to get used to River's stares and subtle smirks at me. I'd still stutter when he asks me questions and I'd still get weak-kneed when his dreamy eyes locks on mine, but more or less I was soon able to manage my fickleness.

Of course, cupid wouldn't let anyone stay in cloud 9 for long. Nope. Nope. Nope. All good things have endings.

Two and a half month in our freshman year, River was back to his old casanova ways. I knew everything was just too good to be true.

There I was in our hang out place sitting with Jamie, cheerily discussing with him our book report after our classes. When I heard the door open and two distinct footsteps echoed in the room. I knew it was River, because of his unique scent. But my eyebrows slightly furrowed at the other indostiguishable footsteps, still my heart raced with excitement knowing he's here. I didn't care about anything else. Hah. Jokes on me.

The footsteps stopped at the end of our table and I could instantly feel his probing eyes on me.

As I excitedly lifted my head to look at him, the bright smile on my face vanished. My eyes slowly went from him to the girl beside him clinging onto him like a leech - Lexi. Of course. Because, why the hell not. I sneered inwardly as I brought back my now dissapointed gaze to him.

Suddenly, I felt like a dagger thrusted though my heart and twisted it, piercing it further mercilessly.

I shouldn't have expected change from him. I mean, why would I? And why should he change just for me? I'm nothing to him and he doesn't owe me anything. I'm just a nobody that happened to be a the cousin of his friend.

I looked down to avoid his gaze and turned slightly to Jamie to whisper to him that we'll just do this another day. Thankfully he didn't mind the change in my mood. I've lost all my energy and will for the day that all I want to do is to just get away from here as soon as possible.

His eyes were still on me but I couldn't care less. I hurriedly packed my bags as I could feel the air around me get thinner. I got up and walked as fast as I could, still his piercing eyes following every move I make.

As I walk past him, our arms slightly brushed and I slightly paused just enough to see from the corner my eyes, his jaws and fist clenching. What the heck was that all about? Whatever. It's got nothing to do with me. I continued moving forward.

As soon as I got out of the door, I leaned against the wall and put my hand on my chest. I willed myself to calm my shaking nerves and uneven breathing but I felt like crying. I was so stupid to think that River might actually have any ounce of interest in me.

I was choking on the tears I was holding back when Austyn appeared beside me.

"Didn't I tell you to stay away from him." I could hear sympathy in his voice but I didn't need it. "He's not good for you."

"There's no need for it anyway. Not now. Not before. He's been already staying away from me like I'm the plague. Have you seen his new girl? They're a match made in heaven. Lexi and River. Just wow." I bitterly donned on a fake smile as I held two thumbs. Then I looked down, avoiding to see the pity in his eyes.

"Willow..." he reached out his hand but I held my hand up to stop him. I know he was just trying to comfort me. But if I let him, the walls I've been trying to build up would come crashing down and this is the last place where I would want to be seen breaking down.

I took a deep breath, holding everything in as I reeled myself from the wall and walked away. My feet, heart and mind felt like there were balls of chains tied to them. I needed to get a way, far away from this place. Far from him. I needed to run away.

So I did.