Asmo's Love

Another

"I'M MARGAUX Beaudine."

Her name fell right off of her lips like it had become a customary response. Her words came off so suddenly as if she had been saying it a dozen times this night and the mere phrase just played out automatically. She looked at me under those thick long eyelashes. The sparkling contour of her make-up emphasized the bold and sharp angles of her cheekbones, the accentuated arch of her brows, and the thin edges of her curved lips that quirked up into a fashionable smile and revealed the fraying wrinkles on each side of her clear blue eyes.

"You look so young, dear," she told me, letting the smoothness of her words flow in a sultry melody through the soft-spoken sound of her velvety voice, "How old are you? If you don't mind."

"Oh, don't act so genuine, Margaux," Leo suddenly interjected as he hooked his arm around mine in casual familiarity and grinned, "We both know age has never been a matter to the two of us."

"Fine," The woman replied with a glinting spark shown in her eyes and she turned to look at Leo, "So, is he your new lover? The trendy flavor of the week? Your current notch on the bedpost?"

I bit my lip to stop the laughter that was about to come out of me after hearing her frank and derisive questions. I masked a composed smile instead and let the awkward yet comical silence be the judge of it. Whereas, Leo only laughed in a facetious manner towards the remark and immediately played the pretense of a doting friend.

"As much as to my pleasure, it could have been like that but he's not, Marg. He's actually a rookie model of mine and he's here to see a broader perspective to the fashion scene," Leo explained.

"Really?" Margaux flitted her eyes back to me, "Then, I'm not surprised. He certainly has the potential... Flawless slender physique and fetching beauty to stir crowds. And you could really pass up as a woman, you know. You've got that soft yet alluring appeal on you that can actually charm men. I'm no man but I see what I see... And you're like David with the face of a Madonna."

I instantly blushed and could not help but feel extremely gratified upon hearing such an intricate and detailed praise about myself from a very famous producer. She stared at me with evident interest and grinned when she noticed the red on my cheeks.

"And what an innocent beautiful specimen, you are! He's pure and delicate, Leo. Where did you find this treasure?"

"Someplace I only know," Leo briefly replied, "I don't want to spoil the secret. But you can do us a favor, Marg."

"A favor, huh?" Margaux raised a brow and paused to give me a lingering glance again. I kept my silence and let the two talk as I casually observed their entire conversation with trivial attention.

"You can borrow him if you want," Leo went on, bluntly offering me like an object right in front of my very eyes. But I did not even bat an eye, keeping a blank face, and made it quietly clear that I was not even baffled by the provocative statement.

"Really?" Margaux slowly turned towards me, "And you don't even mind?"

I grinned back at her and just said, "I can be whoever you want if you like."

The suggestive remark immediately ignited a spark of desire in Margaux's eyes. We held each other's gaze for a moment and felt an instant connection. She reached a hand up to cup my cheek and slowly raised her heels to lean towards me and landed a swift kiss on my nose. She then moved to rest her head against my cheek and whispered words that immediately led me down to an abysmal pleasure of desires.

"I'm gonna make you really famous."

"I'M NOT SURPRISED anyway. I already did kind of expect he wasn't really going to come tonight."

Evangeline sat on the couch beside me breathing out a heavy sigh, as she handed out a cold beer to my direction and I gladly took it to drink. She had already closed up her pub and we were now both hanging around her apartment that was just located above the place. My bandmates had all went home a little over an hour ago and I had chosen to stay with Evangeline for a while to chat with her while I wait for David to call me before going home.

"He's really sorry," I said, genuinely contrived, "It was some last-minute work thing so he had no other choice."

"Well, it's fine. I don't really mind. I'm actually glad he's found his calling. David could be annoying and impulsive sometimes but he can also be really stubborn when he finally sets his mind on something he wants. That's actually one of the main reasons why I found him interesting in the first place," Evangeline mused, lighting a cigarette, "Can you believe it? You used to be these two awkward kids two years ago and now you looked like you've really matured and aged. Him, getting busy with work, and now you, with your music. How's that even going?"

I smirked, chuckling at her sudden diversion of the subject and I consciously let out a weak sigh. My music...

"It's actually kind of great. You know, people start knowing us, appreciating our songs and we're even getting more gigs now. It all still felt like a dream," I jabbered on in an upbeat manner, pausing for a sigh then continued, "But lately, I don't know. I just... I can't help but feel lost with my music all of a sudden. Steve even thinks that my songs aren't enough anymore to please the crowds. He said it's too bland and it's really pressuring me."

Evangeline just gave me a vague look as she silently took a drag from her cigarette, not saying anything. I took it as a sign that she did not really want to comment on that and I swallowed down my anxiety instead, with the beer in my hand.

"Maybe you're losing touch," she spoke after a moment, making me turn to look at her, "Have you ever even considered listening to your members?"

"Are you kidding me?" I scoffed, frowning. "I always ask them about their thoughts. And when I write a new song, they give me feedback."

"But how about their personal feelings?"

"Feelings? What does that even mean?" I frowned deeper.

"Well, all I'm saying is they've supported you with your decisions and your music ever since. They let you run the whole band. But have you ever really tried to sincerely ask them about their own preferences and what they want to do for the band?"

"We're a band, Evangeline," I said, bitterly smirking, "Music is the thing that makes us whole. I formed the group so I can materialize my songs and make them known to people. They joined me because they all wanted to play. And now we do it... Music is what makes us perform together. I don't think I have to question their ability for that. I never doubted them, anyway."

"See right there?" Evangeline retorted back, snorting, "That's the problem with you, Coley. You always want to take control of everything. Your band, your life, David, everything. You never let others touch your decisions, your sole perspectives. All the little things in your life should always have something to do with you to make you interested. But you gotta learn how to listen too, Cole. Your members gave you their trust for your music without questioning its worth so you have to make an effort to trust their own opinions as well to make your whole band work too. It's like the basics of human connection. The problem with you is that you only try to let them speak when it complements you but you don't really want to listen to them if their words don't favor you."

I paused and let Evangeline's words get processed in my brain. The silence between us continued for a few more minutes, and I tried to hide my annoyance for hearing such an in-depth criticism about my personality when it does not even feel accurate. Evangeline could be really critical and blunt but this time, I have to disagree with her words.

"Colin, work out with them," Evangeline remarked after a while as she lit another cigarette after finishing the first one and turned to give me a stern look, "Maybe if you finally do without personal reservations, you could actually learn something fresh and change your whole dilemma for good."

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