Seven Seconds

Life started flashing, right from the start. I did not have a good childhood. My mom died giving me birth. My dad died when I was 12. My grandparents died when I was 21. A life filled with losing. That's when I found her, Bella. She was the new world that I stepped into. She became the love of my life quite fast. I think, most of my life revolved around her. Fast forward; Stains of blood, the smell of blood, surrounded by blood. What in the hell happened, where am I? Where is she? I am holding her hands so tight, that it feels like I'm holding the whole world. The siren of the ambulance made a turbulence in my eardrum. Before I knew what was happening, I was taken by a bunch of people and thrown into the backseat. Still, I'm holding her hands like there's no tomorrow. Blood smears on her hands, she looked at me. Tears on her face. Then it snapped in a split second. On our way home, my bike drifted from the main road and fell. The car behind us had no time to apply for a break and it ran over me. Right now I can't feel my legs. She is still looking at me. I think I saw a small curve in her lips that tells me that it's all going to be ok. I didn't trust that curve. Sound of a siren, steady movements, screeching tyres. The ambulance makes its way to the hospital like there's no tomorrow. Still holding her hands, caressing her fingers, I can still see the curve in her lips. But I'm crying, crying so hard that I can barely see her. "Why can't I feel my legs", somehow I managed to spit the words in the midst of crying. Those who grabbed me from both sides gave me a glance and then, nothing. I looked at her, but the curve still remained. Her gaze is something that is loved, but now it makes me afraid. "It will be alright", she whispered. I'm starting to see black. Stenched with chemicals, shadows of people, smiles and sobs. Finally, I see white. But now all around me is white. That still makes me delusional. There's a doctor in the corner of the room reading a chart probably mine. All of a sudden, there comes another, Doctor, she passed away, the one with this guy. She got a bad hit on the head, it was brain death. And she was pregnant. In a split second, I started to scream, a scream that could devour the whole building. That's when they realised they made a mistake by thinking that I was still unconscious. So pregnancy was the surprise she kept to reveal when we reached her home. To be revealed to her parents. And now, how can we handle the situation. All that blood was hers, not mine. She smiled at me and told me that everything would be ok. How can this be ok? I knew that odd curve in her lips was a bad omen. She left me. It's time. It's time for me to disappear. I tied the rope around my neck like it enveloped my life. They say, 'you have 7 seconds to see and rewind your life.' I guess my life revolved mostly around her, and my 7 seconds are up. No more loneliness, no more losing!